Lass' Valor (The Pith Trilogy) (25 page)

“Colin,
Julianna.” Henry approached them in the lower bailey. “I need to discuss Kate
and our departure with you.”

“Aye,
I know what you’re going to say, Henry. Come, let us go to the hall.”

Julianna
stopped Colin. “I’m going to speak to Bonnie. She’s upset about Walt’s death,
and she somehow found out about George.”

“Ah,
the poor Button. Come for me if you need me.” He then entered the hall. Henry
followed, and Colin turned to him when he reached the trestle table. “So, when
are you leaving?”

“On
the morrow. I agree with Kate, she must return to her people. I am not pleased
with the way Brendan is handling this. Mayhap I should send a missive to Rome.
I caused her much heartache by accepting her marriage to Brendan and now I
regret it. Unless Kate relinquishes her rights to her father’s lands, she’ll
have to tend to the tenants and servants. I don’t deem she will do that, she
has too much honor.”

“You’re
aright, Henry. So you’ll ask Pope Innocent for an annulment? The price is
likely going to be costly. Is Kate wealthy enough to pay for such an
indulgence?”

Henry
placed his arms behind his back and began pacing, much like his brother Brendan
did. “Nay, but I will aid her. It’s the least I can do.”

“Henry,
I haven’t asked for much in the years we have known each other, but I ask of
you now. Do not send the missive yet. Give Brendan time to deal with the death
of his father. He loves Kate, and I know he will regret her leaving. He will
come to her.”

“Very
well, I will wait to send the missive to Rome, but he better not take too
long.”

Kate
strode inside the hall and stopped when she reached them. She curtseyed to
Henry, and bowed her head to him. Colin took her hand and gave it a supportive
squeeze.

“My
lords, have you decided yet when I shall leave?”

Henry
stepped forward. “On the morrow, we shall go. I will travel with you to your
home and will continue to have my soldiers protect your land until Richard is
captured. I know your home is vulnerable since your father’s knights are still
in the holy land, but my men should all ready be in place, watchful, in the
event that Richard tries anything.”

“Some
of my father’s soldiers have returned, yet likely not enough to protect the
people. I thank you, sire. Colin, you have my gratitude for allowing me to stay
here. I shall always remember your clan and your kindness.”

“It
is I who should be thanking you, Kate. We’ll have a feast this night so you can
say your farewells to the clan, they will be sorry to see you go.”

“Not
all your clan, Colin, there is one in particular who does not feel that way.”

Colin
didn’t like to hear her so forlorn. Damn his brother for hurting her so. They
owed this woman much for saving Bonnie. If Brendan had to live in hell in
repayment, then he should do so—even if it meant living in England. “My brother
needs time, Kate. You can understand that, can’t you?”

“I
do. Please, tell him that I …” Kate became emotional and began weeping. “I’m
sorry to hear of Walt’s death. I only spoke to him a few times, but know he was
an honorable man.”

Colin’s
heart tightened at seeing her so distressed. “Aye, he certainly was. Go and
rest for the feast. Try not to let my brother’s conduct unsettle you. He’ll
come around.”

Kate
nodded to him then left, and Colin stalked away. He needed to find his wife,
and warn her about the night’s festivities. The unfavorable duty of telling his
daughter that her friend was leaving distressed him. He didn’t want to cause
his daughter’s unhappiness, especially since this day brought her much sorrow
in learning of Walt and George’s deaths, but better to get it over with now
before she found out on her own.

*****

Kate
returned to her cottage, but she deliberately disobeyed Colin, and hadn’t gone
to rest. She’d retrieved her candles and rope, then went to the stables and
took the mare out for a ride. The mare trudged along slowly. Kate wasn’t in a
hurry to get where she was going. When she reached the cliff, she dismounted
and took her belongings from the saddlebag. She walked hesitantly toward the
edge, and when she reached it, her breath hitched in her throat. It was a very
long way down, but she had the courage to confront her fear and look below her.
The wind began blowing around her, and she moved back.

Once
her rope was set and her candles positioned, she sat in the center. She hadn’t
even tried to light the candles, because a strong wind whipped around her. The
Goddess’ elements were all around her, excerpt for fire, but that didn’t
matter. She raised her hands and chanted the prayers that came so easily to her
lips. After she gave her benedictions to the Goddess for keeping her safe,
aiding her in helping Bonnie, and allowing her to meet her vision, she opened
her eyes.

The
last rays of the sun glared over the ridge with its beautiful splendor. Now,
she had to say goodbye. She cleared her throat, and spoke as loudly as she
could, knowing he was there. She only hoped that he would hear her words.

“I
have come to say farewell. Do you hear me, Brendan? Madam told me about you,
and my vision made me love you, before I even knew you. You are just as
tenacious in life as you were in my vision. How I shall miss you. I will always
remember you.” Kate’s words echoed through the crest of the cliff.

She
rose and collected her rope and candles. Before she strolled away, she looked
over the now darkened summit, and promised herself that she would not dwell on
her decision to leave him. Kate rode back to the keep.

When
she arrived, she realized supper had been delayed until her return. She hastily
took her seat at the table. Her perseverance in trying to remain serene
throughout supper became impossible. The clan members each came to say their
goodbyes, as well as the KirkConnells. Everyone surrounded her, all but Bonnie,
who sat on the floor with her elbows leaning on her knees and her hands holding
up her chin. Her sweet little face looked downcast and she wouldn’t even look
at her.

Kate
walked away from the crowd, and went to sit next to her on the floor. “Lovey, I
…”

Bonnie
continued to look absently across the hall, not paying her a bit of attention.
Kate touched her hand and smiled.

“Walt
died.”

“I
know, I’m sorry.” Kate held her hand and leaned her head against Bonnie’s. “He
was a brave soldier and a good man. I’m sure he’s with the Gods, probably
fishing with your Uncle Walden.” She hoped her words would make her friend
smile.

Bonnie
sighed. “George died, too.”

“Oh,
I know, I’m sorry, lovey. You found out? I know how fond you were of him.”

Bonnie
sniffled. “And now you’re leaving me. I will never see you again.” Her voice
barely broadcasted the words.

Kate
kept her tears from falling. “You know that I must go. I have a … clan that
needs me, just as your clan needs you. You wouldn’t want them to be sad, would
you?”

“Nay,
och I am sad. I won’t ever see you again. I heard Papa, he said that I am never
allowed to leave our land again, except to go to the KirkConnells. I cannot
even go with Mama and Papa again to see Honey. You live so far away.” Bonnie
sniffled her cry away.

“Well,
then I shall have to come and visit you then, won’t I?”

“You
promise?”

Kate
sighed and couldn’t help feeling despondent. She was about to lie to the little
girl, and it just about broke her heart. Not that her heart wasn’t all ready
shattered. “I do, but it may be a very long time before I can return. How about
if I leave Trixie here? You know how much I adore her. If I leave her here,
I’ll have to come back. I know she won’t replace George in your heart, or Walt,
or me, but she might make you feel better.”

Bonnie
knocked her backward with a sprightly hug. Kate wrapped her arms around her,
taking a moment to revel in holding her, smelling her soft hair and feeling her
little hands holding her so lovingly. She set her back on the floor and rose.
Before she went through the doorway, Kate turned and looked at her. She wanted
to memorize her last view of her dear friend and her sweet little face.

Brendan
stayed in the forest for a fortnight, contemplating the heartache he’d
suffered. His head was full of strife as he thought about the years of lies and
deceit. His body tensed and he didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone.
Since he’d left Walt’s burial, he’d sought the solace of the woods and camped
alone.

He
walked to the edge of the cliff and sat down, throwing his legs over the rim.
Looking out over the mountains, at the mist that lurked below, and at the clear
sky overhead, he felt calm and levelheaded. Aye, he could think clearly here
without intrusion from others.
Katie
. His heart commiserated and he
recalled Walt’s last words:
Lad, I lost my love … don’t lose yours.
Brendan felt as though he’d all ready lost her.

He
missed her, but he had made his decision to renounce his claim. He lay back on
the ground with his legs hanging over the edge of the cliff, focusing on the
clouds in the sky above him. Winter was coming, and a chill blew its wrath
around him, yet he didn’t feel it. He was numb.

Katie
.
Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? He had no idea where she was. She had
left him, returning to her people. He knew the urgency of her return, and he
knew when he went back to his clan, she wouldn’t be there.

The
devastating news of his parentage made him accept his place, not that he didn’t
care about Walt, but the fact that his brothers weren’t his real blood brothers
greatly affected him. He had counted on them his entire life, through the
hardship of losing their parents, the many battles and wars with other clans,
and now knowing the truth of his real father. A lifetime of lies swallowed him
whole and he wasn’t about to be released from the pressure.

His
brothers were from a different father. No wonder Donald MacKinnon hadn’t cared
for him, not that he had showed Robin much care either. His only concern was
Colin taking over as laird. What the hell was he thinking? They would always be
his brothers, no matter what occurred in their lives. Even if someone declared
they had different mothers, he wouldn’t let his relationship be influenced by
any circumstance.

He
heard Colin shouting his name. Colin approached and sat next to him. Robin took
the other side, and they both swung their legs over the cliff side. Brendan
immediately sat up and waited for someone to speak. His brothers remained
silent, probably wondering how they should begin.

Minutes
passed, and finally Colin spoke. “Where have you been? We’ve been here everyday
looking for you.” He gripped his shoulder in a brotherly gesture.

“I
was traipsing the woods like an arse,” he confessed quietly.

“Are
you all right? We were worried,” Robin said low.

“I
just had thinking to do is all.”

“You
know we’ll always be brothers,” Colin said adamantly.

Robin
agreed by nodding.

“We
don’t have to talk about it, Brendan,” Colin said.

“We
will if you want to,” Robin put in.

“Nay,
I don’t want to. It was hard to accept at first, but now I understand what I
must do.”

“Let’s
go back to the keep then. Bonnie’s been asking for you every day and the clan
misses you.” Colin moved back to stand and waited for them to rise.

They
rode to the keep, each silent. Neither Colin, nor Robin would broach the
subject of Walt or Kate with him. He knew his brothers feared that he would
retreat to the forest again, and they wouldn’t find him by the cliffs. Brendan
thought about reassuring them, but didn’t.

Julianna
served supper when they entered. The hall quieted, except of course for Bonnie,
because once she spied him, she yelled and ran to him. Brendan picked her up
and kissed her cheek.

“I
missed you, Uncle.”

“I
missed you, too, fairy.”

She
squealed in delight when he threw her in the air and caught her.

“Kate’s
gone, Uncle,” she whispered against his face. Brendan didn’t respond, so she
nudged his chin. “She belongs with you, with us.”

“Button,
she is where she belongs, England is her home.” Colin took Bonnie from Brendan
and sat her on his lap.

Brendan
moved to sit in the center of the table. He focused on eating his supper, and
tried to remain unaffected by his niece’s unhappiness.

“Why
does she belong there? She’s a MacKinnon, Papa, you said so. You have to bring
her home, Papa, please. She wanted to stay, I know she did.”

“How
do you know that?” Colin looked at her oddly.

“She
was sad when she left.”

Colin
placed her in a chair beside his. “I know she was your friend, Button, but Kate
made her decision to return to her people. Of course she was sad, she cares
greatly for you.” Bonnie stood up on her chair and wailed. Colin picked her up,
but she wouldn’t stop crying. “Bonnie, she’s all right, I’m certain she is
well. Don’t worry about her, lass.”

“Nay,
Papa, she’s not all right. I need her … Uncle needs her … we …”

“I
know you both do,” Colin whispered. “But you’ll have to wait until your uncle
decides to go and bring her back.”

“Make
him sit in your chair, Papa, until he does.”

Colin
laughed at her demand. “I cannot do that, Button, my brother is mule-headed.”

“Kate
loves him, Papa. Does he love her?”

“Aye,
Button, he does. He just doesn’t know it yet, give him time to realize it.”

“Aye,
Papa.” She rubbed her face on his plaid.

Brendan
watched his brother holding his daughter and heard their discussion. There was
nothing he could do to make his niece feel better. She would just have to
understand that he and Kate were not meant to be together. In time, she would
understand.

Whenever
he looked at Bonnie, she reminded him of Kate. They were both innocence and
sweetness. Nay, he wasn’t worthy of Kate. Being a bastard, he didn’t have
anything to offer her. Likely, she was as rich as the damned English king. He
would ask Henry to annul their marriage at the soonest. His fate had been
decided in the forest, and he would abide by it, whether he was miserable or
not. He left the hall after the meal and slept on his old pallet in the
barracks. Restlessly, his mind reeled with visions of Kate, and his conscious
plagued him. He couldn’t sleep.

He
rose in the morning and found Colin lingering in the great hall. Julianna
attended Kevin, with Bonnie pestering her by her side. Robin and Tess sat with
her, and Tess tended to their son. His family all congregated, seemingly
waiting for him.

“Colin,
I want to take care of Walt’s sword. Do you know where it is?”

“Aye,
it’s in the scullery. That’s where Jules has my weapons stored now-a-days.”
Colin grinned.

Brendan
grunted at that.

“Why
did she put them there of all places?” Brendan enjoyed hearing about the cat
and mouse game between his brother and Julianna. She would move his weapons to
an inconspicuous place, and Colin would have to find them. His brother smiled
before answering.

“You
know how she feels about weapons hanging in the hall. Remember when she put
them upstairs? I promised her that I wouldn’t put them back in the hall again,
and she suggested the scullery. I couldn’t deny her. I think Jules does this to
irk me, or maybe take my mind off things.”

“Nay,
you couldn’t deny her. She’s a sweet lass, Colin.”

“You
have a sweet lass too, Brendan.”

“Nay,”
Brendan shook his head. “I’ve decided against it. I don’t want to talk about
Katie. Right now, I want to throw Walt’s sword in the loch. Do you wish to
come?”

“Aye,
and I’m certain Robin will want to come, too.” Colin backed off the topic of
Kate, at least for now.

Brendan
waited while Colin explained to Robin what they were going to do. The three of
them rode to the loch, and on the way his brothers didn’t harass him regarding
Kate. Relieved, Brendan put his mind to the task at hand.

He
dismounted and walked to the water. Not a ripple floated atop the water’s
surface, even the wind became still as the men approached the edge of the bank.
They stood beside each other. Brendan placed his foot on an aquifer and held
Walt’s sword above his head with both hands.

“I’ll
miss you, Walt, you were a good man,” he said low.

“Here,
here, one of the greatest warriors of our time,” Robin agreed.

“Colin,
here, you do the honors. You are our laird.” Brendan handed Walt’s sword to
him, but Colin returned it.

“Nay,
‘tis your right. He was your father.”

“He
was father to us all. It is an honor.” Brendan grasped it with his strong
hands, and held it in the air with its tip facing the heavens.
You lived a
good decent life, Walt, and died a warrior’s death. Your sword will always
remain here for you, whenever ye need it.

He
flung the sword in the air, and it tumbled into the blue of the sky. The sound
of its movement thought the air made a swoosh then a splash when it hit the
water’s surface. The ripple of the splash circled where the weapon sunk to the
bottom.

“Walter
Ross’ sword will be encased by the spirits of our ancestors for all time. All
its victims’ blood will be washed away, and will secure his spirit entrance
into heaven,” Colin assured them. Their custom was complete.

They
stood silent, watching the ripples fade and lightly lapping the bank of the
water’s edge. Brendan felt comforted by performing the ritual. Pride filled him
with Walt’s spirit.

*****

Brendan
spent his days on the training field working off his frustration, and tried his
best to vanquish thoughts of Kate. He barely concentrated on using his skills.
Not that his opponents knew that was the case, they were bested anyway. Nay,
while he crossed his sword with the other men, his mind wasn’t on the task at
hand, he shoved Benjamin’s face in the mud and his mind wandered.

Nighttime
was the worst. He would go to the cottage Kate had used, would sit in the chair
and recall her form lying on the bed, see her face while she slept. The woman
haunted him and kept intruding on his existence. Damn it all, he thought as he
continued to push Benjamin’s face into the ground. He couldn’t stop thinking
about her, even now he was agitated at the thought that she was most likely at
Henry’s court being seduced by some fop. Someone else would love her, kiss her,
and touch her. She would cook for him and smile sweetly at him. She would bear
a deserving man strong sons and sweet daughters.

“Brendan,
your suffocating, Benjamin, you might want to ease up a wee bit.” Colin
laughed, but didn’t make a move to assist his expended soldier.

Brendan
swallowed his indignation and released Benjamin. Faigh mein, he couldn’t take
it. He knocked another adversary to the ground and stalked off.

Colin
watched from the wall. Brendan neared insanity, he thought. He smiled when
Robin approached and knocked his shoulder.

“Is
he there yet?” Robin asked.

“Almost.”

“Let
me know.”

“Aye,”
Colin agreed.

Colin
walked up to the keep to enact his plan, and found Gil and Brendan fighting on
the ground. Brendan drove his fist at Gil’s mouth, splitting his bottom lip.
Gil licked it and laughed, which made Brendan even more irate. Colin had to
stop it before he killed him.

“What
the hell is going on here?”

“Nothing,
Laird,” Gil said honestly.

“Nothing?
Gil, move away from Brendan, he’s not in the mood to entertain you this day.
What did you do to rile him?”

“I
just asked him a question and he pummeled me. It’s not my fault he’s so hot-tempered
lately,” Gil said, then spit a good amount of blood on the ground.

“What
did you ask him?”

“I
just asked him when he was leaving for England. I told him that if he didn’t
want her, that I did and that I didn’t mind living in England as long as the
lady was mine.”

“Well,
hell. Brendan, what did you reply?”

“His
lip bears my reply, Colin,” Brendan said testily.

“Gil,
stop taunting him. Brendan, I want to see you in the hall now.” Colin strode
inside.

“Brendan.”

“Aye,
Gil.”

Gil
shoved him. “I didn’t mean it. I know she’s your wife and I’m trying to get you
to realize that you love her. Och, why don’t you go to her? You’re miserable,
I’ve never seen you like this.”

“I’m
a fool, that’s why. I shouldn’t have taken my ire out on you, Gil.” Brendan
irritably ran his hands through his hair.

“I
can take it. I’m going hunting with the men and probably won’t see you for a
while. Think about it, Brendan, the lass is awaiting ye. You did not see her
face when the king told her you left. I saw her riding with Bonnie that day,
and it nearly broke my heart to see her so forlorn.” Gil walked away, leaving
Brendan staring after him.