Lane (Made From Stone Book 1) (9 page)

“Hey! You ok?” I whisper softly, stroking her hair to try and soothe the pain I know she must be feeling. She doesn’t say anything, but nods her head. “We can stop if it's too much” I say softly.

“No, Lane. I want you,” she says as she presses her soft lips to mine. I remove my cock from her and this time I gently insert it. I can feel her stiffen beneath me and her fingernails dig into my back. Holy fuck that turns me on! At the same time I feel overwhelmed with guilt that I know I'm hurting her.

"Babe, you're not ok," I say.  

She simply looks into my eyes and whispers one word, "Please....."

Pushing the guilt to the back of my mind, I let my body enjoy what it has craved for so long.

I move a few more times and each time I do it seems her tight pussy is accepting my cock more.

“I need to move baby.” I warn her. She once again nods her head quickly and I slowly start to move inside her. I don’t want to cause her any more pain, so I’m not pushing my entire length inside her. I can tell the moment the pain has subsided when she grinds her pussy against me. I groan at the feeling. There is NOTHING hotter than a woman who fucks you back. Knowing Mallory is hungry for me lights a fire and I start slamming into her. As amazing as her tight pussy feels around me it’s so damn frustrating. I can’t push into her quick enough. I know she feels punished by me as I thrust harder inside her, but my mind is screaming at me. Fuck her harder! Fuck her faster! So I do. With each thrust, she’s pushed higher up the bed until she has to use her hands to keep from hitting the headboard. She takes one hand off the headboard and starts digging long deep scratches in my back, pushing me harder and faster.

“I’m gonna. Oh Lane. I ahh,” she deliriously mumbles as she wraps her legs around my back forcing my cock inside her. THANK FUCKING GOD! Her pussy returns the pounding by violently clamping down on my cock as I unload inside her in long, hot jets. The sensation of her pulsating pussy milking my cock finishes me and I collapse on top of her, our sweat soaked bodies still tangled together.

I continue to lie on top of her, kissing her neck. At the same time, my mind is going to places I never thought of and I’m scared. My uncle told me I’ll know I found the woman I was going to marry the first time I stuck my cock in her. I’ve been with multiple women and I honestly believed pussy was pussy. I was so wrong. As much as I want it, a relationship can’t happen between us. She has so much living to do. I slowly pull out and put my game face on. She told me she was ok with being used so I need to make her feel that way, even though my heart is screaming for me to keep her right here.

“Well thanks,” I say standing up, grabbing my towel.

“Lane?” she questions in a sweet voice that makes my heart ache. But I have to ignore my heart and I have to keep up with the charade.

“Where are your clothes Mallory?” I ask, trying to sound distant.

“The living room,” she says quietly. I walk into the living room to get her clothes for her, and when I walk back into the bedroom I’m immediately concerned as I rush to Mallory’s side.

“Are you ok?” I ask quickly. I know women bleed a little when they lose their virginity but this is a lot.

“I’m fine,” she says with ease, like nothing is wrong.

“You’re not fine, Mallory. There’s blood all over my sheets!"

“Honestly, I’m fine. I promise.” She says as her face flushes. FUCK! Why can’t I comfort her? Why can’t I be hers?

“Go, Mallory. Please,” I whisper. I feel complete shame for fucking her the way I did and now kicking her out.

“Lane?” she questions. I just can’t look at her. She has to be feeling like I used her like some prostitute.

“Mallory, go. I told you once it was over you’d be getting kicked out. Take the hint and go. Don't ever come back. Forget where I live, and forget me.” I say with my back to her. If I face her, I won't be able to walk away from her. I walk into my bathroom and nearly collapse on the sink. A few moments pass before I hear my door close. Once it does, I lose it. I slam my fist into my mirror and throw everything off my counter. I’m a fucking sick bastard. I fucked my virgin student. Why couldn’t I resist her? I have so many thoughts running through my mind I don’t know what to do. As my mind becomes a complete cluster fuck, I come to the realization that what happened between us was not a mistake. She isn’t my student and she’s an adult. She’s been an adult for quite some time. She still has a life to live, but Mallory Carter is no mistake.

I head into the shower because I have to get her blood off my dick. It’s covering me and it's a reminder that I just used a virgin. I fucking used her. FUCK LANE! You fucked her bare. Christ! I have condoms stashed all over my apartment. I didn’t even think about it. And in truth if I had, I don’t think I would’ve worn one. The feeling of us, flesh on flesh isn’t a feeling that can compare to anything else. Oh my God. FUCK!!! I feel myself losing it even more than I already was. I stand under the freezing shower for a long time trying to wash this feeling away. My arms are pressed against the wall and my head is down in shame. The guilt doesn’t ease, in fact, it gets worse.

“You’re pregnant?” Amy and Olivia look at me surprised, as I lay curled on my bed crying.

I nod shamefully.

“What are you going to do?” my sister questions. I start UIC next week and I have a ton of decisions to make.

“I don’t know. I didn’t plan this.” I mumble through sobs. I’ve already made my mind up that I’m having this baby. I don’t know what it means for my future, but this baby is mine and it will have a mother who loves it even if its father doesn’t want it. “I’m keeping my baby.” I say. I refuse to walk away from my baby like my mother walked away from me.

“It’s going to be tough, but we can do it together Mallory,” says my sister.

“The three of us can do it,” Olivia chimes in and I start crying harder. It means so much to have their support, and in this shitty situation, it's the glimmer of hope I need.

“Have you told the father?” Olivia asks.

“No, I’m not going to. He made it clear it was only sex and he wanted nothing to do with me when it was over.”

“What kind of bastard says that?” my sister angrily shouts.

I almost want to defend Lane, even though I shouldn’t, but he only took what I freely gave. I’m an adult and he did nothing wrong. But I know that it would look bad on him professionally for him to have a child with a former student. Even if it makes my life more complicated, I won’t make him look bad. At least I tell myself that's the reason. Honestly, I know if I told him, he would demand that I have an abortion, and I refuse to do that. He kicked me out and told me to forget him. It hurt, but he was up-front with me. I know he wants nothing to do with me. I cried for weeks because I tried to ask him for a simple hug afterwards and he couldn’t even give me that. I felt used all right, but my baby and me will be just fine. Thankfully, he or she is due during spring break next year. I won’t get any time off from school but hopefully the delivery is smooth and I only need to miss a day or two. With my sister and Olivia offering up support, we can work around my school schedule.

Football is back in full swing and it’s given me a much-needed distraction. I was spending most of my days obsessing about her. I’ve wanted to reach out and offer an apology time after time but I know she has to hate me, so I’ll give her time. She’s in college now and I pray she’s enjoying it and that she’s done what I asked and forgotten about me. I smile at the thought of her hanging out with Olivia and having a good time. I want her to be happy, Mallory deserves that. I often fantasize what it will be like four years from now when I seek her out. I hope I’m able to be at her college graduation, not to ask her for anything but to say thank you and I’m sorry.

But tonight I’m meeting with my brothers and cousins at Hansons. It’s been awhile for me because this isn’t something I want to talk about with anyone, much less any of them. I’m no longer ashamed. I’ve had a lot of time to work through things, and Mallory was right. She was nineteen and no longer a student. We were two consenting adults who fucked. I would be proud to have Mallory on my arm, letting the world know she belongs to me. I do have one worry though. What if Mallory falls in love with another man in college? Her beauty demands every man's attention. So I know it’ll take no time for the men to line up. I just hope none of them compare to me in her mind. Even though I know she probably hates me, I can only hope she’ll forgive me someday.

My first year at college isn’t what I expected at all, but it’s going well enough. Even now, at nine months pregnant, I’m ecstatic that I’ve been able to maintain a 3.6 GPA. It’s no 4.0, but when you’ve dealt with morning sickness and exhaustion since the beginning, a 3.6 is great.

Today is my due date, but I’ve been told most women rarely deliver on their due date. This is a good thing because I still have two classes to get through before spring break officially begins. I’ll be working as much as possible at the diner to help Amy. She’s still living at the seedy motel and I’ll be moving back once the baby is born. I drove to the hotel last night to take a few things before spring break starts. I was too tired to drive back to campus so I stayed and we chatted for several hours. I can't believe I'm happy to be back here, but I've really missed my sister. We still haven’t heard from our mom and we’ve both started to worry that she might be dead. We’ve thought about walking the streets with pictures asking the homeless, hoping one of them has seen her. We both know she looks nothing like the photos we have of her, so I regularly check the newspapers to see if a Jane Doe has appeared.

I’m standing in front of my mirror getting ready for my last day of classes. I almost cringe when I see the bulge of my enormous stomach. Almost. But honestly, I love it. My sweet baby is in there. Amy and I decided we didn’t want to know the gender of the baby. We haven’t had a good surprise in almost four years, so we’re both counting down the days until my son or daughter makes their appearance. As much as I look forward to getting this basketball out of my stomach, I’m also sad that my baby will never know its father. I’ve driven by his house more times than I can count, and once I even got out of the car. I was about to knock on his door when his words came back to me, opening that wound again. “Forget about me. Forget where I live.” So, I’m trying to do what he asked and stay away, no matter how much it hurts.

'What the hell?' I think as I feel a warm liquid run down my legs. Worried I pissed myself, which wouldn’t be a first in this pregnancy; I sit down on the toilet and notice a tinge of blood in my panties when I do. Scared, I scream out for Amy to come. What is this? Maybe my water broke? Is blood normal?

Barging in the door Amy says, “What’s wrong?”

“I think my water broke. And there's blood! Is this normal? ” I hurriedly explain, hoping Amy knows what's going on.

“EEK! It’s time?” she asks with a concerned look.

“I don’t know, but I think we should go find out,” I reply as she runs out of the room in a frenzied rush. I can hear her throwing things around, so I assume she is throwing the bags I packed to the front door. While she does that I email my professors, who have all been supportive, to let them know I won’t be there today. Seconds later Amy comes, offers me her hand, and helps me out the front door and into her car.

Settling in the car, we start the forty-five minute drive to Faith Memorial. I can’t help but worry on the way. I’m not having contractions, but I’m having terrible back pain. It hurts so bad the tears start falling freely. I don't really have a birthing plan. My visits were few and far between, and suddenly I am scared to death. Can I do this? I'm about to bring a tiny person into this world. Will I be able to be a good mother, even with the absence of mine?

“FUCK! AMY!” I scream as I feel the contractions moving around to the front, holding me in a painful grip. Oh good God! I need pain meds now! I hear contractions only get stronger and stronger and this one hurt like a son of a bitch. FUCK!!!

“Ok. It’s 9:02. We'll start timing them.” Amy says. I don’t respond because I’m still coming down from the pain when another contraction hits me hard. This one scares me because I look at the clock again and it’s 9:03. We are still five minutes away from the hospital, and my contractions are one minute apart!

“Drive faster, Amy. PLEASE!” I scream again as Amy holds her hand out to grab mine.

“Almost there, Mallory,” she says. I’ll just take her word for it, because I can’t open my eyes.

I feel her slam on the brakes, then the door opens and I hear her screaming for help.

“What’s going on?” I hear a deep, manly voice ask.

“My sister… she’s in labor. The contractions are a minute apart already!”

“Molly. Go grab a wheelchair.” I hear the deep, comforting voice say. “What’s your sister's name?” he questions.

“It’s Mallory. Is she ok?” I hear Amy ask fearfully. I open my eyes so I can reassure her I’m fine. I might feel like I’m dying but…. FUCK!

“Oh God help me.” I cry out and my eyes search for the manly voice. When my eyes make contact with him I try to place him. I’ve seen this man before. I know I have.

“Hi Mallory. My name is Noah and I’m a doctor. My wife Molly went to get a wheelchair. We are going to get you checked out alright?” he coos in a low voice.

“O-Ok.” I cry out. I see his beautiful wife come back with the wheelchair and she softly places her hands on my elbow to help me out of the front seat. I hear them telling my sister where they’re taking me. He tells her that her car will be towed if she doesn’t move it from this spot and I almost lose it. “I need my sister.” I start crying harder, they can’t make her leave she’s the only person I have.

“Mallory. She’ll be right back. Is there anyone else we can call?” the doctor asks.

“No, it’s just me and my sister,” and again I start crying because she isn’t beside me.

I feel soft hands stroke my hairline as his wife brushes the hair off of my sweaty face. “I promise your sister will be right back. We’re in the room right now and we need to check you over. Is that ok, Mallory?” she asks in a comforting tone. I know she’s probably in her early fifties, but she’s aged beautifully. I don’t know how I have the capacity to notice this right now, but she really
is
very pretty and sweet.

“Ok.” I say, giving my consent. They both lift me up and place me gently on the bed. I can feel my leggings coming down. Once I've been laid down, the sudden urge to push is here. My body is instinctively taking care of itself.

After my first big push, I take a deep breath but before I can push again I hear Dr. Noah say, “Mallory do not push.”

“Why? What's wrong?” I ask the doctor, fearful after hearing the urgent tone of his voice.

“The baby's head is already out. There’s a cord wrapped around the neck so we need you to not push for a moment. ” He informs me and it terrifies me. I know this baby wasn’t planned but I want my baby.

“You know Mallory, today is my husband's last day on the job. He’s been a damn good doctor for over thirty years. You’re his last patient. I want you to know and believe me when I say if anyone can safely deliver this baby it’s my husband.” Molly says with such sincerity that I have no choice but to believe her.

“Is the baby here?” I hear Amy question as she runs into the room.

“Not yet. Mallory give me one push. Just one.” Noah says and when I do, the most beautiful little cry fills the room.

“Here she is!” he says holding her up for me to see. Instead of being incredibly happy, I’m immediately sad. She has a head full of dark black hair; she’s gorgeous just like her daddy. I’m sad for my beautiful baby that she won’t know her father.

“Do you have a name picked out?” Molly asks.

“Annie Elizabeth,” I announce, and instantly see the nurse freeze which is odd. But I find myself lost staring again at my beautiful daughter. A few seconds later my baby is all cleaned up and lying on my swollen stomach. I’m so in love. It may have been a surprise whirlwind delivery, but I thank her several times for not making me lay in labor for several days.

“She’s beautiful!” says the doctor with a sincere smile.

“Thank you. And thank you for saving her.”

“It’s the perfect way to end my career. The pleasure is all mine,” he says as he nods and heads out the door. His wife stays behind and is cleaning me up.

"We are going to move you up to postpartum,” she informs me.

“Wait. How long will we have to stay? I don’t have insurance... but I promise to pay,” I explain. I hadn't thought this part through.
“OK, calm down Mallory. This can all be sorted but right now we need to finish getting you ready to move,” Molly explains. After I'm cleaned up and just waiting for someone to move me Molly exits the room, leaving me alone with Amy.
"Amy, what are we going to do? I hadn't taken into account staying in. I have no insurance. How will I pay for this?" I weep anxiously.
"Don't worry Mallory, we will sort it out. For now just look at your daughter, she's gorgeous!" We both look down and gaze at Annie as she sleeps soundly.

Just then the nurse returns, followed by her husband. “Mallory, Molly and I are going to cover the expense, and before you refuse, we insist.” he says softly. What? No way.

“No. I promise I’ll pay. I just don’t have the money right now. I can make payments. Right?”
“You could, but you won’t. We are taking care of it. Our kids are grown, and my wife never spends a dime. We have nothing else to do with our money. Please accept this?” he says and I look to my sister.

“Mallory, accept it. You’ve been through so much and if you’d contact the lowlife dad maybe he could pay for it, but since you won’t, what other options do you have? Besides graduating college with debt.” Amy says to me and I know she’s right. If I’m ever going to get ahead, I need to take the help and these people seem so genuine. I know Noah, but can't place from where.

“Thank you, I accept. What can I do to repay you?” I question, hoping they need their cars washed weekly. Anything at all.

“Can I hold her?” Molly asks.

“Of course,” I say, handing her Annie.

“Noah, don’t you think she looks like Lacey?” Molly questions. Noah bends down with a soft look on his handsome face.

“Yes, I thought that too!” he says and smiles.

“Who’s Lacey?” I ask.

“Our daughter,” she says sweetly. “Can I ask how you came up with her name?”

“Growing up, my dad would call me Annie. You know with red hair and all. But he passed away about four years ago so I wanted to honor him in some way, and Elizabeth is my sister's middle name,” I explain, squeezing Amy's hand.

“Annie was my mother's name. She also passed a couple years ago,” The nurse admits, choking back tears. There’s sadness lingering in the air of this happy room.