Land of Enchantment (13 page)

'Lije is so busy. He has so much to do that I don't want to interfere with his work.' Diana shook her head.

'You wouldn't be. Don't you see? There would be things he could do, too. Check on fences, and waterholes, predators. A hundred things, I'm sure, and at the same time he would be showing you the country. Promise me you'll do it, Diana,' Stacy implored. 'And look beneath the strangeness of the land.'

'I promise,' she agreed, unable to do anything else in the face of those caring brown eyes and the friendly sprinkling of freckles. Immediately a grin spread across Stacy's face that was filled with impish fun.

'I do hope you were cutting some of this bread for yourself, because Cord and I can't possibly eat that much,' she said.

Diana looked with surprise at the towering slices of bread before joining in with the other girl's laughter. The light touch relaxed the tension that had been building up inside her. She was still smiling when Cord and Lije returned from the plane, but with their entrance, depression settled once again. Stacy was leaving and there was no way of knowing when she would see her again.

The ride from the ranchyard to where the plane was parked seemed extremely short. The smile on Diana's lips was forced, as was the gay wave of her hand in a last good-bye to the couple in the plane. A lump rose in her throat as the plane turned and made its run down the grass strip. When the wheels left the ground, she felt her last contact with civilization had just been broken and she was left behind in this desolate land.

As the red object winged out of sight, Diana turned to the man standing beside her. Blue eyes looked at the harsh, uncompromising lines of his face. It was during moments like these when the alienness of her surroundings overwhelmed her that her husband seemed a total stranger to her and not the man she snuggled against at night.

'The excitement is over. It's back to just us now,' Lije said quietly.

'Yes,' Diana sighed heavily. Lije moved towards the jeep. 'I think…I think I'll walk back to the house.'

'Don't be ridiculous! It's too far to walk. Get in the jeep.' The reprimand and order were snapped out with the autocratic ease of one accustomed to being obeyed.

Lije was already sitting stiffly behind the wheel when Diana made slow, reluctant movements to join him. There was an awkward stony silence between them. Diana didn't want to give voice to her thoughts. She had been so sure of her ability to adapt to her new home and its surroundings, and in Stacy's presence, she had been more than hopeful that her new friend's advice would work. Now, looking at the emptiness of the horizon, she doubted that anything could bring her to like this barren land when she couldn't even do it with the strength of her love for her husband.

'I can't make it any easier for you, Diana.'

The jeep was halted in the yard. His words forestalled her movements to leave the vehicle as her head jerked around to face him.

'What are you talking about?' The murmured question was directed at the cold glitter in his eyes.

'I can't count the number of times I've seen that mask steal over your face to prevent me from seeing what you think and feel.' Diana winced inwardly at his cutting tone. 'I thought this visit would help, but it's only made it worse, hasn't it?'

'Lije?' The apology was forming, but he didn't give her an opportunity to complete it.

'Why don't you just admit that you're homesick for the excitement of city life and stop trying to kid both of us?' he snapped.

'All right, I am,' she retorted sharply, stung by his sudden attack. 'But that doesn't change anything. I'll get over it.'

'Will you?' An eyebrow raised mockingly over his disbelieving gaze. 'Some women never adjust to country life. They end up resenting their husbands for forcing them to lead such an isolated existence and hating them when they won't leave it. Divorce is inevitable in those cases.'

'Is that what you think is going to happen with us?' Diana gasped in shocked but suppressed anger. The carved profile was turned towards the distant mountains and she couldn't see the expression on his face.

'Why couldn't you talk to me about the way you feel?' Lije's voice was cold as a mountain stream. 'Why did you discuss it with a virtual stranger instead of me?'

'You mean Stacy?' The flint-grey eyes turned accusingly on her at her question. 'She's a woman. She would understand how I felt, having more or less made the transition herself,' Diana explained defensively. 'I didn't want to worry you or add to your burden. How did you know I'd talked to her?'

'I'm not so selfish and blind that I don't know what a difficult adjustment you've had to make,' Lije sneered. 'And I've been around enough married couples to know the compassion that springs into a woman's eyes when the wife confides what a rotten life she has.'

'Rotten life?' Diana exclaimed angrily. 'I love you, Lije Masters!'

'Love can happen between two people at the wrong place and time.' That terrible remoteness was in his face as if the distance between them was a hundred times more than the few inches that separated them in the jeep. And his voice was ominously soft. 'I told you even before the subject of marriage was brought up how much this ranch meant to me. I love you, Diana, but I would never give it up even for you.'

'I know that.' Did she? she asked herself. Or had she subconsciously hoped that some day she might be able to persuade him differently? She was so upset and confused she couldn't think straight. She hated arguing, and this argument was making her feel physically ill. She seized on the subject of the ranch in a last attempt in placating his cold anger, however justified. 'I…I've never seen the ranch. I…I mean, you've never taken me around and shown it to me. Would you?'

'I'll be too busy the next couple of weeks with the horses and so on, but Jim will be checking the fences. He can take you with him if you really want to go.' Lije's hand was massaging the back of his neck as he ground out his reply.

'No.' Diana refused too quickly, bringing the sharp, condemning look back in his eyes. 'I'd rather go with you when you have time.'

'I thought you'd got over that ridiculous
prejudice towards Jim,' he observed contemptuously.

'I'm not prejudiced,' Diana protested. 'It's just that Jim doesn't like me.'

'I think it's you who don't like Jim rather than the reverse.'

'Lije, I don't know him well enough to like or dislike him.' Diana's shoulders lifted in an uncertain shrug. 'Knowing how he feels towards me makes me uncomfortable to be with him. Besides, this ranch is where we live and I want you to show it to me, not some man who works for you.'

'You make him sound like a servant instead of my friend.' His eyes had narrowed to glittering slits of silver-grey.

'You're misunderstanding everything I say.'

'Am I?' he jeered.

'Why are you acting this way?' She swallowed desperately at the growing lump in her throat and the sobbing pain centred around her heart. 'What great sin have I committed, to make you so cold and remote?'

Her questions might never have been asked for all the attention Lije gave them.

'Why did you tell Stacy what you should have discussed with me first?' he demanded.

'Is that what's bothering you? Just that I happened to question Stacy about what had helped her to adjust to ranch life?'

'I suppose it was Stacy who prompted your sudden interest in seeing the ranch after more than a month has gone by since we arrived.'

His sarcastic comment brought a scarlet colour to her cheeks. Put that way, it sounded like an unforgivable omission on her part. And in part it was, although Diana was too hurt to concede that.

'I don't understand you,' she murmured.

'How could you?'
There was an arrogant coolness in his voice and face. 'After all, out of the three days before we were married, we were only in each other's company about twelve hours in all. Hardly sufficient time to discover whether I'm the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, is it?'

'Are you trying to suggest that I made a mistake?' she breathed.

A weary expression clouded the already grey eyes that Lije turned towards her. 'It's possible we both made a mistake. But if it's anybody's fault, it's mine. I knew the kind of life I was bringing you to. But then it's gone beyond the point where it's easily corrected, hasn't it?'

Diana made an instinctive movement towards him, aching to assure him of the depth of her love. Words eluded her, since so much of what he was saying was beyond her understanding. Yet something in his expression prevented her from touching him.

'Neither one of us is capable of carrying on a rational conversation right now,' Lije inserted before Diana had a chance to argue. 'We're too emotionally involved.'

He turned the key in the ignition switch and started the motor of the jeep. Diana felt as if he had patted her head and told her to run along like a good little girl. She did relinquish her passenger seat and dash towards the house, but with bitter tears stinging her eyes.

Over the next few days, an air of normalcy existed, at least on the surface. But there was an underlying current of tension that tugged at the precariously floating foundation of Diana's happiness. Lije didn't bring up the subject of their marriage again, but their unspoken thoughts crackled in the air between them. While Diana was relieved that there wasn't an open rift between them, she was also more guarded in displaying her feelings. Yet that very act frightened her, because it seemed to prove that they had a severe communication gap. It was one she didn't want to bridge for fear of the consequences.

By the conversation between Lije and Jim Two Pony at the dinner table, Diana knew it was lambing season. Her husband's days were spent away from the ranch yard, and the twilight hours were devoted to the horses with the paperwork claiming the remaining evening. So there was little real opportunity for serious discussions. Diana was usually in bed, feigning sleep, when Lije would at last enter the bedroom.

Even after the weight of his body had sunk into the mattress beside her, she did not fall asleep, but lay awake listening to his rhythmical breathing. When sleep did claim her, it was troubled by nightmares where Lije was in peril and only she could save him. But always her limbs were frozen into immobility by her terror. In the morning she would awake with the sickening nausea of her failure still clinging to her.

During the long daylight hours when she was left alone with her thoughts, Diana felt as if they were two strangers living under the same roof, barely seeing or speaking to each other except in passing. She hadn't even had the courage to ask again about seeing the rest of the ranch, coming to the conclusion that Stacy's suggestion would only lead to more arguments. And she hadn't recovered from the wounds of the last.

Chapter Nine

THE morning sky was an immense stretch of startling blue that seemed to belong to an artist's canvas. The sun was a glaring yellow orb suspended over the distant mountains, casting long black shadows over the uneven terrain. A hawk soared lazily overhead, its wide wingspan catching the unseen wind currents. The coolness of the mountain night fingered, turning the warm breath of the horses in the corral to smoky puffs.

Her hands were shoved deep in the pockets of her tan jacket as Diana stared at the strange landscape. There was resentment in her aquamarine eyes that such a vast amount of space could constitute her prison walls. She had not even the means to escape because Lije had the pickup truck and Jim had the jeep.

Exhaustion caused by nights of restless sleep painted pale blue circles under her eyes, giving them a haunted look. At the same time, Diana couldn't relax during the day, constantly being driven by her nervous energy that kept her physically active.

She stared at the weathered house and outbuildings in sullen silence. A debate went on inside her whether or not to take the paint out of the storeroom and paint them herself just for something to do before she shrugged the thought away in a moment of pique. That was her husband's responsibility.

Letting her wandering pace carry her to the rear of the house, Diana watched the movement of her shiny brown shoes, the toes already showing a covering of pale dust. A cynical smile curled the corners of her mouth as she realized what an incongruous picture she made in this backdrop of rugged country.

Crinkling and shiny brown patent leather shoes on her feet were very, practical for walking long blocks on city sidewalks, but they were useless in this terrain where rocks and thorny bushes would scratch and mar their shiny surface. The beautifully tailored brown slacks moulded her slender long legs and enhanced the provocative curve of her hips, but the material would snag at the slightest touch. Certainly not the attire to tramp this countryside. The tan jacket covering her white silk over-blouse was designed for looks and not warmth, which, with the promise of springtime weather, was not too bad. Still, Diana thought, she looked like exactly what she was—a model placed in a western setting instead of the usual cardboard backdrop.

What was that Stacy had said? East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet. Diana was beginning to believe that was the rule and Stacy had been the exception to prove it. It was hardly an encouraging thought.