L'amore: The Luminara Series (34 page)

I wake in the morning to the sounds of giggles. Roberta is sprawled over me, playing with my hair, Lucca is bouncing Antonia up and down on his chest, and Emilio and A-Jay are under the covers at the bottom of the bed, playfully wriggling around. Lucca was right last night by saying she wouldn’t remember a thing. I’m so relieved.

“We seem to have acquired a few more children,” Lucca says. He looks so happy and spirited right now and very content with all the kids in the bed. I don’t even need to imagine, I know this is what Lucca would like for his future.

“I see that.” I smile. Roberta and I go under the covers and tickle the boys who are screaming and laughing.

“Is it musical beds? What is all the noise? We heard you from down the hall,” Anna grumbles, yawning and stretching as she enters the suite with Cameron following close behind.

Walking over to the bed, she lifts Antonia off Lucca and sits on the chaise lounge with her.

“Hey, wee cheeks. Were you a good girly last night?” Antonia gargles, giggles, and pulls on Anna’s hair.

Cameron takes a shot with Antonia, and she pulls his bottom lip and puts her fingers straight in his mouth. Anna watches and smiles then leans over and kisses the tattoo on his upper arm

Hmmm …

As Savio and Kate prepare breakfast, Dominic entertains Emilio and A-Jay, and Cameron and Anna take a turn looking after Antonia. Roberta and I sit on the sofa in the open plan kitchen area where I brush and braid her hair and play
“houses”
with her little wooden doll figures. I watch Hazel tie her trainers with her fitness clothes on and head towards the gym.

Shit.

I’ve got sweaty palm prints smudged all over the mirrors.

I haven’t had a chance to clean them, and the housekeepers aren’t due until Monday. Not that Hazel would mind, but I don’t want people thinking that way of me. I hope it’s not too obvious.

While Savio and Kate have breakfast underhand, I head back upstairs to our suite, make our bed, then join Lucca in the bathroom.

“Are you okay?” Lucca asks, leaning over for his shaving foam.

“Yes, I’m good. I’ve enjoyed spending time with the kids. They’re great, but I’m just feeling tired. I don’t know how Sarah does it every night. Lucca … about last night, I feel so bad about waking the kids up and scaring Roberta. Do you see why I wouldn’t be a good mother? The poor girl shouldn’t see that, and let me tell you I witnessed my mum having nightmares, horrendous ones and it’s traumatic. I remember some of them,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder.

He moves my hair to the side and places soft kisses on my neck. “Lexi, you were not too loud and did not say anything remotely scary, and Roberta is too young to comprehend. I knew she would wake up and forget what happened so please do not feel bad.” He stares in the mirror with reassuring warmth in his eyes.

“Yeah, maybe.” I sigh, watching him rinse his razor blade underneath the tap. “I just think I caused more harm than good. All I wanted to do was help Sarah and Kate but I …”

“I am sure Sarah appreciated your help. They have all told me they love you, and I know the kids adore you. Sarah and Kate said you were a natural. It makes me so happy to see you bond with them. Please do not doubt yourself; you were great with the girls last night.” He kisses me then begins his shave. This leaves me with a lot to think about.

After breakfast I take Doris out for a walk with Cameron to Bothwell Castle grounds and have a long discussion about his love predicament.

“So, you and Anna. Is it serious? Lucca seems to think it is,” I ask, tossing up some leaves with my feet. He picks up some sticks to throw to Doris, and then we sit on a bench overlooking the river. “Anna isn’t like anyone I have ever met before. She is so different. When I saw her in Tuscany I was instantly attracted to her. How could I not be? She’s gorgeous but it’s more than that. I love her sass, tongue and cheek, and smart mouth.”

He runs both hands over his hair shaping it up at the front then shakes it out. I did see something in his eyes last night that told me he was falling for her. Perhaps their relationship is as deep as Anna was trying to make out.

“I mean, she’s ballsy and confident and full of life. She has a mind of her own and she’s not the clingy type. She’s independent and knows what she wants. I like that she’s decisive. Also, she makes me laugh, apart from the fact she’s shit hot, it’s like hanging out with a dude. She has a wicked sense of humour sometimes. We’ve had a great time together.” He cocks his head, taps his feet, and waits nervously on my response.

I think about what he’s said and maybe he is right that they might be compatible. The last thing Cameron needs is someone who’s needy and clingy around the clock, especially when he works crazy shifts.

“Oh, I never realised how much you actually do care for her. I thought you were just having a bit of fun.” I walk over to Doris and help her find the stick she’s been looking for then throw it in the shallow river, and she frantically gallops in splashing around the water.

“It started as fun but the more time I spend with her, the more I feel for her. It’s not like we’re going to settle down, but shit, I can’t stay away from her. She has helped me, you know. When I came back from Tuscany I was fucked up a bit, because of you telling me about your abuse. It got me thinking about my own abuse and my mind was all over the shit. Anna was patient, she helped me … showed me lots of compassion, and we shared something special. I’ve never had that before with another woman. Rachel is as deep as the ocean, and you know I am too, so neither of us truly opened up to one another, but with Anna … I don’t know, she has a way of encouraging me to open up and talk, and surprisingly it felt good.”

He sighs staring out at the river with one hand wrapped around the tattoos on his arm.

I walk back to stand in front of him. I do understand his words because Lucca does the same for me; perhaps it’s a talented Caruso family trait …
counselling
. I know that those two are in deep together. “Don’t you think people will think it’s weird that we’re brother and sister and so are Lucca and Anna?”

He quirks his lip and grins. “Lex, you are so naive sometimes, it’s unreal. I don’t think there are any rules. We are individuals and so are they, and nobody is going to judge us.”

“Hmmm, I guess. Does that mean you
are o
fficially going to be a couple?” I chew the inside of my lip. “Look, I’m worried, if you screw things up with her it will cause problems between Lucca and me.” I kick a stone and nibble my bottom lip.

“C’mere.” He jumps up, puts his arm around me, and hugs me. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt or upset you, and you will always come first.
Always
.
The only reason I’m telling you this shit about Anna is because I know you don’t approve, and I’d like you to get it. But, you have nothing to worry about. I promise you.”

Promise.

A promise is a promise.

I believe him
.

When I broach the subject of Lucy, he tenses up rigidly, looking down, and runs his hand through his shaggy hair messing up his unruly style again. Although he has opened up about Anna, I think he finds it hard to talk about Lucy because he knows how protective I am of my friends.

“You know, Lucy still has a lot of strong feelings for you, Cameron. She can’t move on while she’s still hankering over you. I feel so sorry for her, and it pains me to see her upset. Do you still have feelings for her?” I ask as we start walking back.

“It was a while ago. I like Lucy a lot, and I had an amazing time with her, but the timing was off and … oh, I don’t know. I will put this right, Lex, I know how you feel you about it, and the last thing I want is to give Lucy any false pretence and lead her on. She deserves someone better than me and should move on. I don’t want to hurt her either.” He scuffs some pebbles on the ground.

Got it loud and clear. He does have feelings for Lucy deep down.

Fuck!

File L for love. The love triangle Cameron is messed up in.

I decide to drop it because he obviously doesn’t want to tell me too much about Lucy. On the way back to the house, I ask, “Have you thought anymore about going to see Casey?”

He shrugs and says, “I don’t feel like I need to.”

I was shocked to discover Cameron had also been subjected to sexual abuse when we were held captive. “I’m still having night terrors. Lucca wants me to go back and see her,” I say before we approach the house.

He stops, places his hand on my shoulders, and turns me around, looking at me with warmth and sincerity. “Well, then you should. You trust her and it wouldn’t do any harm. I’ll come with you if you like, but shit, Lex, don’t ask me to go in for a session. I like dealing with it my way, and Anna has been good for me. You definitely should though.”

I smile half-heartedly because I appreciate his gesture, but I can’t help feeling he’s in denial and afraid to admit he might need to talk about his experiences. If I didn’t know him any better, I’d say it’s because he probably thinks it’s a chick thing to do. He hates not appearing macho. Doris gallops into the living room and slumps on the carpet against the sofa, thoroughly exhausted. The front of the house is quiet. I walk through to the pool area and everyone is in the water.

I’m all his

The kids look adorable in their armbands and swimwear. I sit on the end of a lounger waving to the kids and smiling at them, encouraging them to have fun. Lucca places his brawny arms on the pool edge then lifts himself up, looking very much the Italian god I’ve fallen in love with. He strides over to me, lifting his hands to sweep his wet hair back, exposing his ripped abs.

“You coming in?” he asks, leaning over and kissing me, saturating me with his dripping body.

“I’m not sure.”

“Puhweese, Aunty Wexi. I can swim, wook at me!” A-Jay shouts while trying to paddle in Armando’s arms, splashing everywhere.

“What’s wrong?” Lucca quietly asks me, slowly moving my chin forward so I’m looking straight into his eyes.

“My scars,” I whisper on a shiver then rub my thumb across my brow.

“Baby, no one will even acknowledge them. The kids might say something but they are too young to know any better. If you would feel better, wear a vest over your swimwear. This is your family now, and nobody will judge you. Please do not shy away. You are beautiful, and you have nothing to worry about. I do not even notice your scars. All I see is your beauty.” His eyes are soft and earnest, as if he’s pleading with me. Roberta paddles across the pool, splashing her legs, then rests her chin on the side.

“Aunty Lexi, can you come and play with me?” she begs.

I can’t say no to that sweet face. “Okay, okay. I’m going to change. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Good girl,” Lucca says then kisses me before jumping in the pool and sending the children into fits of giggles. Walking past the steam room door, I can vaguely see Anna through the cloudy glass. I pass Cameron on the way up to the suite, and he’s got a towel around his waist.