Lambert's Peace (25 page)

Our last night together
, she thought. Out of nowhere, her heart was overwhelmed with love for him. She tightened her jaw and pressed her lips together to keep the tears at bay.

Tomorrow night was the family Christmas dinner—weeks before the actual day—but it was their only chance to celebrate. Sunday she planned to visit New York City to say good-bye to Reneé and several of her girlfriends. Monday, she began the journey of her life.

But for now, she decided to live in the moment. “White Birch is beautiful this time of year. All the lights and decorations …”

“It is,” Will said.

They walked several blocks toward the town square where a giant Christmas tree, much like the one in New York's Rockefeller Center, twinkled in the night.

“I watched Markie run a complete trial data conversion today. It went really well. We also reviewed the installation checklist.”

He let go of her hand to put his arm around her. “Thank you. But let's not talk about business systems right now.”

He made her nervous.

Suddenly Taylor heard music and found Will leading her down a path lined with dozens of glowing sand bags. “Will, what are you up to?”

Will stopped at the tall, thick Christmas tree, his pulse thundering so loudly he wondered if he'd be able to hear himself propose.

He envied ninety percent of the other men in the world who popped the question to women willing to say yes.

No guts, no glory
, he thought. For the first time, he understood the depth of Taylor's devastation when she leapt out on the wings of faith and asked him to marry her.

Now the tables were turned.

“Let's have a seat.” He led Taylor to the back of his truck where a thermos of hot chocolate and a pile of blankets awaited them. He opened the tailgate and helped her up.

“Did you do all this?” she murmured.

“Yes, it's your going away present.” He felt cautious, afraid to reveal his hand too soon. He propped himself against the side of the truck and swept Taylor into his arms.

“You're scaring me,” she said with a shaky laugh.

Will kissed her hair then rested his chin on the top of her head.

Her body stiffened. “Will, I'm leaving in three days.”

He nuzzled the back of her neck. “You smell good.”

“Will—” She scooted around to face him. “Please.”

He cupped her face in his hands. “I love you, Taylor.” He kissed her lightly, tenderly.

When he released her, words flew out of her mouth. “Why, Will, why? Why now? Why not ten years ago? What do you want me to do with this information? Not go to California because you love me?”

“No.” He resituated himself so he could retrieve the ring box from his pocket. “I don't want you to go to California because I can't live without you.”

“You seem to have survived until now.”

He pressed his finger over her lips. “Can I finish?”

She sucked in her bottom lip and nodded.

“You are the most incredible woman I've ever met.” He looked into her green eyes. “You inspire me. You make me want to live my life better; achieve all I can achieve. Love the Lord more; love others more. I let you go ten years ago, but I can't let you leave without telling you how I feel now.”

“I know how you feel.” Her words landed hard, like bricks being added to a wall.

He laughed softly, the tension between them rising. “I've been praying all day about what I want to say to you.”

“And?”

“I have peace. No words, just peace.”

She leaned against the side of the truck and regarded him. “That's what I love most about you. The peace you exude. Not just any peace, but the peace of Jesus. I'm always so anxious.”

“We'd make a good pair then.”

She snarled. “Ten years ago, maybe.”

“Taylor, I wouldn't have been a good husband ten years ago.”

She adjusted the blanket around her legs. “Maybe I wouldn't have made a good wife.”

He reached for her hand. “We loved each other. But I had grad school on my mind and wanted life to selfishly revolve around me.”

“I wanted to move to New York and have a big-city career.” She looked at him as a light, chilly breeze brushed through her hair. “But I like to think I would have given it up for you. I really loved you, Will.”

“You would have resented me.”

“Maybe.” She shivered in the cold and fell against him.

“How about right now?” He wrapped her in his arms.

“What do you mean?”

He dug the ring box out of his pocket. “Would you give up California for love? For me?” He could feel her tremble. “Taylor, if you go to California, fine. But go knowing I'm yours and you are mine.” He opened the box, and the ring sparkled in the glow of the candles and Christmas lights.

She gasped and covered her face with her hands.

“Taylor, marry me.”

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Will asking her to marry him with candles and music on their last night together.

“You're kidding, right?”

Will took the ring from the box. “Does it look like I'm kidding?”

Her hand shook as she reached for the ring. “It's beautiful.”

But she pulled her hand back. If she touched the jeweled piece, if she let him slide it on her finger, she'd never move to California. Never.

“Taylor?” Will turned her face to his.

She jumped off the tailgate. “What are you doing, Will? I can't marry you.” With long strides, she started down the sidewalk. She stopped and whipped around. “Marry you? I'm moving in three days, Will.
Computing Today
is doing a story on me and my new job. It comes out the day I start!”

He walked toward her. “You're going to base a major life decision on a magazine article?”

“No, Will, I'm making a major life decision based on years of hard work. Am I supposed to say no to a tremendous job opportunity because Will Adams finally got his act together and asked me to marry him?” She stepped his way, hating her words but unable to cap her anger. “Ten years
too late
.“

Will grabbed her arms. “No, I'm asking you to say yes to the greatest love of your life. You may think it's ten years too late, Taylor, but our time is now.”

She jerked herself free. “No, Will. No.”

On the west side of Kansas, weary and hungry, Taylor pulled into a small diner around seven o'clock. A light snow fell as she stepped out of the car, an empty soda cup and fast-food bag wadded up in her hands. She stretched, taking a deep breath, cleansing away the fog in her mind.

She felt dull and lifeless, and dazed from the endless stretch of prairie highway. The cold evening air refreshed her, but the gentle snow reminded her of home. Of Will.

She'd cried for two days after leaving Will standing alone in the flickering lights of the White Birch Christmas tree.

Her visit with Reneé in New York centered around sobs and tissues, and ping-pong dialogue about Will's last ditch proposal.

“Sounds incredibly romantic, Taylor, but you can't pass on Boswell because Will's trying to get what he can't have,” Reneé had concluded over a large slice of New York–style pizza.

Taylor shook her head. “He's not like that. If he didn't mean it, he wouldn't have asked.” Then the tears had surfaced again, and Reneé handed her another tissue. “But I made a commitment to Boswell Global.”

On the roof of the Kansas diner, a red-nosed, blinking Rudolph reminded her she'd be spending Christmas away from home. Mom and Dad agreed to come for New Year's, right after Claire and Chelle's visit. Taylor tossed her trash in the garbage can and stepped inside the diner. It was cozy and quaint, and she was the only customer.

A slender, gray-haired woman behind the counter greeted her. “Be right with ya, hon.”

Taylor reached for a menu, her mind numb, her thoughts wandering. For the first day and a half of her journey west, she'd cried. Tears of anger—tears of heartbreak.

She'd waited ten years to hear those words from Will. She'd waited ten years to get an offer like the one from Boswell Global. “Oh, Father, I need wisdom.”

“What'll it be?” the woman asked, her order pad in her hand. Her name tag read LANA.

“Diet soda and a large garden salad.”

“Would you like grilled chicken or steak on the salad?”

Taylor thought for a moment. “Grilled chicken.”

“You okay, honey?” Lana asked.

Taylor glanced up into a warm, friendly face. “Tired.”

“Long journey.”

Taylor winced at the irony. “Yes, very long.”

By the time Lana brought her dinner, snow fell in big, round flakes.

“Snow's coming down pretty hard,” Lana said.

Taylor smiled with a nod and picked up her knife and fork. “I'd better hurry.”

“There's a motel about a mile down the road. You should stop there for the night.” Lana crossed her arms and leaned against the booth.

“Thank you.” Taylor wondered why Lana hung around. She was hungry and wanted to eat, but not with an audience.

“Hard decision, wasn't it?”

Taylor had just cut into her chicken. “Excuse me?”

“Hard decision—to leave love for a job.”

Taylor felt the blood drain from her face. “How do you know that?”

Lana smiled as she slipped her hands into the side pockets of her uniform skirt. “The Lord spoke to me as you came in the door.”

Tears burned in Taylor's eyes. “Who are you?”

Lana tugged on her name tag. “Lana Carr. My husband, Ralph, and I own this place. Been here thirty-two years.”

“How do you know about my decision?”

Lana motioned to the bench across from Taylor. “May I?”

“Please.” She offered her hand. “My name's Taylor.”

Lana slipped into the booth. “Pleased to meet you.” She shook Taylor's hand then turned and hollered across the empty dining room. “Ralph, bring me a coffee, please.”

“All righty.” The answer came from somewhere in the kitchen along with the clanging of pots.

“How do you know about my decision?” Taylor asked again.

Lana smiled. “I'm just a friend of Jesus, same as you.”

Taylor sat back. A friend of Jesus? The notion warmed her all over. “He told you about me?” She reached for her fork and speared a slice of chicken and tomato.

Lana rested her arms on the table. “This is our slow time of night. I pray when we hit these lulls, and I simply felt the Lord speaking to me about a woman who's torn between love and her career. I started interceding; then you walked in.”

“You knew I was the one.”

“I did.”

Ralph came to the table with Lana's coffee. “This the young lady you've been praying for?”

“Yes. Taylor, this is my husband, Ralph.”

Taylor reached up and shook his hand. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Same here,” Ralph said then excused himself.

“Why did the Lord tell you about me?” Taylor asked, shoving the food around on her plate, her appetite waning.

“I wondered that myself,” Lana said, holding her coffee cup and cooling the coffee with a quick puff. Taylor sipped her diet soda, studying Lana. She felt comfortable and at home with the genteel woman. She let the words flow from her heart.

“I am so torn. The job in California is an incredible opportunity. But Will Adams is an incredible man and probably the love of my life.”

“And you can't have both?” Lana asked.

Taylor gave Lana a wry smile, shaking her head. “He runs a family business in New Hampshire. He can't leave.”

“What about you? Do you have family in New Hampshire?”

With that question, Taylor's heart came alive. “Yes.” She described her mom and dad, her brother and his family, and the beautiful pieces of fabric that made up the community quilt of White Birch.

“Sounds like a wonderful town.”

“It is.” Taylor took another bite of salad and washed it down with a sip of soda.

“What about this job?”

Taylor laughed, thinking of the comparison. “Work, work, work. Lots of money. Sunshine. More work.”

“A new life, eh?” Lana said.

“Sort of—more like a major career move.”

Lana looked down and, from Taylor's angle, it looked like her lips moved in prayer.

After a few seconds, Lana said, “I had an opportunity many years ago to move to Hollywood and be in the movies.”

Taylor's eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes, I was one of those ‘discovered' girls. Local beauty contest. You've heard the stories.”

“That must have been exciting.”

Lana shook her head. “I felt like the queen of the universe. Once the talent agent called me, I was knocking the dust of this little town off my feet and moving to Hollywood.”

“What happened?” Taylor scooped up more salad then buttered a corner of her roll.