Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole (35 page)

ART!

After graduating from high school, Tyce and I were married and I followed my dream and attended art school. Today, I was the proud owner of my very own art gallery. With Tyce’s encouragement, I fulfilled my life-long dream. He was my rock. He believed in me… in my talent… when everyone else said it wouldn’t amount to anything and that it was nothing more than just a hobby.

He was the only person back then besides my dad that knew how much drawing truly meant to me. How much it was a part of me… a way to express myself when I was lost for words.

When I had sacrificed my future with Tyce, I also lost the driving force that had led me to believe that I could do anything I set my mind to. Without him by my side, I had simply given up. I locked my feeling for him away in a box, sealed it up tight, and waited for the day that he would turn the key and reopen it. However, the days spent waiting turned into months, the months turned into years, and the seal remained unbroken. I never loved another man after that… not with my whole heart. How could I…
when Tyce always had a large chuck of it with him.

My dad wasn’t exaggerating when he said that my choice would impact the lives of all those around me. It’s funny how one person’s decision to turn left instead of right could affect the lives of so many people, throwing us all out of whack. As I continued to stare out at the water, all my old memories began to drift away just like my dad said they would.

This is my life now…
my only life.

But you’ll be happy to know that Jay and I are still very close and always will be. I am blown away that I still have the two great loves of my life… in my world…
together
… at the same time with no strangeness between us. Jay was my best male friend and Tyce was at peace with that. In fact, Jay was even Tyce’s best man at our wedding.

Jay of all people ended up marrying someone very near and dear to my heart. Vivian. With my blessing, they started dating back in college and have been together ever since. She had no reason to run anymore. She had found her man and they had two beautiful kids together; Jasmine age five and their newborn son named Eugene.
Go figure!
Tyce and I were their proud godparents, as Jay and Viv were to Ty.

Maya and Bobby ended up together without any help from me after all. Bobby adopted Maya’s two girls and they have a pretty little five-year-old girl named Bria together. Maya finally got the good guy that she so deserved much sooner in life and I couldn’t have been happier for them both.

My brother Joel was now married to a kind woman named Amy and had a son together named Dean that was also age five. JoJo, my nephew, loved being a big brother. He took to it easily. The huge difference in age between the two of them wasn’t even a factor in his mind. Weird how things worked themselves out that way, huh?

Everyone was where they were meant to be, except for my little KJ… which was once again…
missing
.

I had to trust in my dads last words to me and could only hope that he was with a family that loved him as much as I did. But once again, I promised myself that I would hold onto the memory of him no matter what. He was my baby for all time and nothing would ever change that.

My mom and older brother moved overseas after my dad finally left her and relocated to Lake Tahoe as soon as Joel had graduated from high school. He had bought a huge ranch to raise horses on up there. He never did remarry though, but at least he lived his life the way he wanted to and died peacefully in his sleep two years ago and asked to have his ashes scattered on the lake he had grown to love so much.

I always knew that he never wanted to be buried in a box, but my mother wouldn’t listen. She never listened! My dad left Joel and me the ranch in his will and we planned to spend Christmas there this year with all our friends to be closer to him.

Warm, soft lips brushed the back of my neck, forcing me to return to the here and now. I turned to find the same love in my husband’s eyes as I had seen yesterday. After all these years together, that had never changed or wavered. In fact, his feelings for me may have intensified!

“Are you alright? Why are you still in the bed, my love?” he whispered lovingly against my lips.

“I was waiting for you to get back in it.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

W
E WERE THE FIRST ONES
to arrive at my father’s ranch. The grounds were covered with two feet of fresh snow from the night before. All the kids were going to love it here, having snowball fights, and building snowmen. The pond was even frozen so thick, that they would be able to skate on it this year.

This is going to be a nice unexpected treat for them, getting out of the city, and experiencing nature at its very best. Jack, the grounds keeper that tended the horses year round already had the driveway cleared and a warm fire brewing in the fireplace. I could feel my dad’s presence all around me. Wrapping me up and cradling me like a cozy blanket, making me well aware that he was somewhere nearby, welcoming us to his home.

I found myself being drawn out to the horse stables where I could sense his presence the strongest. Comet came to life as I drew closer to her. She was a beautiful animal… but she must have missed my dad as much as I did. It broke my heart to think that she would never see him stroll through the barn doors again. Did she understand that that would never happen? That their time together was over or was she still waiting for that one last ride?

I stood talking to her and brushed her head until the wonderful sound of a child’s laughter brought me back to the world. Barreling straight for me were two of my goddaughters, Jasmine and Bria, my nephew Dean, and my son Ty. They were all five years old and were an absolute handful when they were together like this.

Lucky me!

“The Quads”
we called them. All born within days of one another. They were all bundled up and ready for a day in the cold.

“Auntie, auntie, auntie, mommy… are you really going to take us on a sleigh ride? Can we go now please, pretty please!” the kids sang out in unison.

“
Sleigh ride?
Who told you guys that?” I questioned them, probing to see exactly whose bright idea this was.

“Daddy,” Ty told me without an ounce of guilt. What was my husband up to this time, I wondered? Well, I sure hope he planned to help me with these little monsters.
What in the world was he thinking, sending them all out here to ambush me?

“Oh he did, did he? I don’t know kids. It’s really not up to me if we go or not,” I said shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.

“Ahhhhh man. Who’s it up to then?” They whined disappointedly.

“Well, the horses of course! I’m sure if you ask them really nicely and promise to feed them lots of carrots while you’re here, then they’ll be more than happy to give you guys a sleigh ride.”

The kids tripped all over themselves while they begged the horses to pull them through the snow. It was one of the cutest things I had ever seen in my life. How could I refuse their simple request after seeing something like that? So I asked Jack the caretaker to hook Comet and Music up so that the six of us could set out for a short ride around the property.

We found the older kids attempting to build their very first snowman down by the frozen pond. I watched in awe as they struggled to attach the top half of its body to the gigantic base. The thing was huge. Probably twice as big as they were. Go big or go home, I always say, but
DANG!

We all waved hello and told them they were doing a fantastic job as we continued on our way. So, with all the kids outside playing and out of their parent’s hair…
what were all the other adults doing exactly, I wondered.

The sun was just beginning to set behind the mountains when Jack dropped us off at the back door. The tour had taken a lot longer than I would have liked. With the temperature outside dropping fast, I rounded up all the kids and brought them inside before any of them could freeze to death.

We entered the house to the most decadent aroma. My senses were filled with cinnamon and vanilla... honey baked ham and macaroni n’ cheese. My stomach growled as my mouth watered with anticipation of what I was about to sink my teeth into.

I ushered all the children along with me as I followed my nose through the house while we peeled off layers and layers of jackets, mittens, beanies, and boots.

“Hot chocolate anyone?” Jay asked as we stormed the kitchen.

“Oooooh… me, me, me, me,” the kids cheered as Jay passed out the steaming mugs with mounds of marshmallows floating on top.

Yum!
I want some to, please.

Tyce handed me a cup of mine own as he placed a protective hand on my pregnant belly. I sipped happily, as I took in everything that was happening in the kitchen around me. While the kids and I were out playing in the snow all day, the others had been cooking up a storm.

Fresh baked cookies and brownies were being pulled from the oven by Maya as Vivian put the finishing touches on some homemade gravy, while my sister-in-law Amy, basted a ham over a warm stove. To my amazement, I even noticed that there weren’t any dirty pots in the sink to be washed later.

Wow, they have been busy!

Joel walked in from the cold with a monster size turkey that he had just finished deep-frying outside and placed it in the center of the table (which had already been dressed and set as well), so I was baffled that there was absolutely nothing left for me to do... but eat.

“I could have helped guys. I’m pregnant, not crippled you know!” I told the room flat-out.

“You did help, silly… you were elected for babysitting duty.” They all informed me as if I had drawn the short straw or something.

Huh, works for me.
I couldn’t complain too much because from the amount of food they had prepared, the clean up alone must have been brutal. I got the easy job…
SUCKERS!

This is what the word “family” meant to me. I couldn’t have wished for a better one. How we all got along, cared and took care of one another was amazing. Growing up, I never knew what having a family really felt like or how much I truly longed for what I have now. It didn’t matter that we didn’t all share the same DNA… I would still lay down my life for each and every one of them. Just like, they would lay down their lives for me.

After our fabulous dinner, I was told that there was still one more surprise left for the evening. Tyce covered my eyes before revealing a gigantic Christmas tree that they had chopped down secretly earlier that afternoon. Scrapping against the fourteen-foot high ceiling, I had to wonder
how
in the world they got that thing in here
without me noticing
.

Tyce handed me the container that held all of Ty’s Christmas ornaments in it. One for every year of his life. I teared up at my husband’s thoughtfulness. I had forgotten to grab them before we left the house and had voiced to him how bummed I was that we wouldn’t get to see Ty hang up his ornament collection with the other kids this year, but that little booger had them all along.

Thanking him with a quick kiss, I handed the box off to our sons awaiting hands. He took it happily and went to join his cousins that were already participating in our long-standing family tradition.

Each child got to pick out a new ornament every Christmas, which they got to hang up on the tree all by themselves. We sat around watching as their little eyes lit up as they saw their selections from Christmas pasts. It was funny to see how much and how fast a child’s taste grows in just a year’s time. The tree ended up being a wild assortment of fun…
something Santa himself could be proud of!

At the crack of dawn the next morning, we all made our way down to my dad’s favorite fishing spot on the lake. Gathering whatever dry wood we could find along the way for a fire, we watched the sun peaked its head above the mountaintop. I could see why my dad loved this very spot. It was isolated and tranquil all rolled into one.

We had been there enjoying ourselves for a few hours when the quads returned from exploring. Little Jasmine was beside herself as she buried her face deep into my chest.

What in the world?

“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked as she clung to me and shook like crazy. Vivian looked alarmed that she had come to me instead of her, but there wasn’t too much I could do about that, now could I. “What happened to you?”

“I… I saw… I saw a man in the water, auntie,” she choked out, breathing heavily between sobs.

By this time, everyone in our group had dropped whatever it was that they were doing and surrounded us to find out exactly what was going on. Jay tried to scoop his daughter up, but she only clung to me tighter. Worried that she was crushing my belly, I had to reassure him that I was fine and to just let me handle this.

“What kind of man, sweetie? What did he look like? Can you describe him for me?” I asked her calmly.

“He was a big, white man with no hair on his head.”