Lady Revealed (22 page)

Juliette tried to call back the snippet of memory she had but it was gone. “No.”

Jordan turned and looked around the room. “Father had this closed off after you left. We weren’t allowed in here and when Madeline was born they made her use a different room. Even after Eleanor came here with the boys Bentley didn’t want to disturb it.”

“Why?”

Jordan shook his head. “I cannot begin to guess at Father’s reasons. As for Bentley, by then he knew you and Adele were alive and I think he didn’t want to remember the past.”

Juliette nodded. Part of her wished to remember and another did not. She was afraid to remember but why?”

“Do you remember the room?” He asked quietly.

“I remembered the view from my chamber and only a vague memory of nurse rocking me in this chair.”

Juliette stood and placed the doll at the corner of the bed. Yes, that is what was missing. When not in her arms, this is where the doll belonged. A smile tugged at her lips. She may not have much of a memory but she recalled a few pleasant emotions. She just wished everything she was feeling was pleasant.

“Bentley would like to speak with you. I came to see if you were resting when I saw you come up here.”

Juliette nodded. What did he wish to say to her now?

“I’ll show you the way.”

“I think I know it already. Is he in the library? Where father used to work.”

Jordan nodded grimly.

Juliette closed the door quietly behind her and made her way back down the stairs when she reached the landing fear assaulted her, different from the anxiety that had clutched at her before. Something awful had happened here but she didn’t know what. Once again she closed her eyes and tried to remember. She was laughing, running down the stairs. Someone was chasing her. He grabbed her doll and the arm tore. She opened her eyes and blinked up at Jordan. “You tore my dolls arm.”

He groaned. “I had hoped you wouldn’t remember.”

The memory of her last day in this house flooded her mind. She was crying and carrying on because a stupid arm was torn. Father had stormed up the stairs and picked her up. He was yelling but Juliette could not recall the words. He had picked her up and carried her under his arm down the stairs and into the library as if she were a sack of potatoes. Juliette ran for the stairs, what had happened in the library?

“Juliette, wait,” Jordan called after her, but she couldn’t stop. She had to remember.

Without bothering to knock she pushed the door open and entered. Bentley was standing by the fireplace, Acker was in a chair, Matthew was on the settee and John stood by a window. They all turned to look at her.

It had happened here. Father had made her bend over a chair, pulled up her skirt and began hitting her. It stung and tore at her skin. The more she cried the more he hit her with the switch, over and over. Maman was screaming at him to stop but he wouldn’t. Jordan pulled at his father’s arm and was backhanded and fell against the desk. Her skin had been torn open and Juliette remembered blood running down that back of her leg. The only thing she had done wrong was cry over her doll and he had beaten her.

Juliette grasped the back of the chair to keep from collapsing and then she saw it. A willow switch. Good God, did Bentley strike Eleanor’s siblings with that thing, the way she had been struck?

She grabbed it and flung it across the room before marching to her brother. “Why do you have that vile thing in this house? So help me God if I find out you have ever used that on a child I will kill you.” Tears streamed down her face and Bentley gently grabbed her upper arms to steady her.

“I have never used that on a single person in my life,”

“Then why do you have it,” she cried.

“To remind me,” he ground out. “So I never become like
him
.”

Sobs racked her body and Juliette collapsed against her brother. He soothed a hand up and down her back and said something she couldn’t understand. All she knew was some inner pain that she had carried around without even realizing it needed to be released. Her father was a horrible man and as uncharitable as the thought, she was glad he was dead. When her sobs dissipated and turned to hiccoughs, Bentley led her to the settee and settled her beside Matthew. Jordan came forward and pressed a snifter of brandy into her hand.

She sipped slowly and willed her hands to stop shaking.

“I am sorry,” Jordan said a few moments later. “I should have never given you the doll.”

Juliette shook her head. “That night was already coming back to me. I couldn’t grasp hold of the memory. Had you not given it to me, I might have driven myself mad trying to remember.”

“I am also sorry for teasing you and tearing your doll.”

She looked up at him. The discussion he and maman had in London now made sense. “No, don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”

He opened his mouth to speak but Juliette was not about to let him make excuses. “You treated me the way a brother does a younger sister. I’ve seen Eleanor’s brothers behave the same way, and someone has been hurt and they cried, yet no one beat them for it. Father was a monster and I didn’t deserve the punishment he inflicted.” She glanced around at the faces of her brothers. “I am willing to bet none of you ever did.”

Jordan looked away. He was still eaten with guilt. “Forgive yourself, Jordan. I do not blame you for what happened and neither should you.”

He blinked a few times and Juliette saw a mist of tears, but did not comment on it. Something told her he had been carrying this burden his entire life. May her father rot!

*

Acker finished his glass of brandy and was about to suggest they speak with Juliette another time when she burst into the room. He remained stunned with shock at the paleness of her skin and panicked look in her eyes. He was paralyzed, not knowing what to do. When Juliette nearly collapsed with her memories and rage he wanted to go to her. Then she was in Bentley’s arms, sobbing much as a child. He wanted to be the one to hold and comfort her. But, he didn’t understand. Not like they did. He wished whatever memories she recalled would have been forgotten because he hated to see her in such pain. But, perhaps this is for the best and she can begin to rebuild and form a bond with her family.

The four brothers were gathered around Juliette and Acker felt like an intruder. He should not be here, witnessing the personal family moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave either. What if Juliette needed him?

Acker noted the concern on each brother’s face. They would take care of her and protect her. Juliette needed him no longer.

Acker found Juliette standing in the gold parlor the following morning. He had been looking for her since he rose because he had not seen her again the night before. She had taken a tray in her room for supper and he suspected it had more to do with exhaustion from the memories than the travel and then he had missed her at breakfast today. He needed to see her so that he could assure himself that she was fine.

Her back was to him when he walked in the room and nobody else was present. She was gazing out the window and he approached to look over her shoulder. Her mother sat with his mother and Rose beneath shaded trees. While his mother and Rose wore simple dresses, suitable for the warm day, Adele was also covered with a blanket and wore a hat. The sun was bright today and there was no breeze yet she was cold.

“She is not going to recover, is she?” Juliette asked in a quiet voice.

Acker wasn’t certain how to answer. Adele’s face was pale and drawn and she clutched the blanket to her as if she were in a winter storm.

“The doctor said she wouldn’t,” Juliette continued before he could answer. “I didn’t want to believe him, but I can tell by looking at her that she is not doing well.”

“She also just traveled two days,” Acker reminded her.

Juliette turned toward him. “As much as I would like to believe you and put hope in the fact, I cannot.”

She was correct. Adele grew weaker each day. How would Juliette go on without her? She was much too young to lose her mother. Was anyone ever old enough to lose their mother? Though he was a man of one and thirty, Acker knew he would feel the loss deeply if something happened to his mother.

“Would you care to stroll with me in the garden?” Acker asked while offering his arm.

Juliette glanced at it and then accepted. They did not leave by a door that would take them by their mothers, but an entirely different exit to the east of the mansion. The path from the door led to a parterre of an intricate design with bright spring flowers of yellow and white blooming amongst the boxwoods.

“It is beautiful here.”

Acker glanced around. “Yes, it is.” Bentley Manor had always been a well-kept, well-organized estate with nothing out of place.

“What is that, ahead of us?” Juliette asked as they strolled around the side of the house.

“A maze,” he said with a grin.

“I’ve never been in a maze before. Is it very difficult to maneuver?”

Acker hadn’t been in this particular maze in several years and wondered if he recalled how to get through it without getting lost. “I played in here a few times as a boy.”

“Will you show it to me?”

He would like nothing better than to get lost in the maze with Juliette. “It would be my pleasure.”

He led her to the entrance and stepped inside. They could go left, right or straight ahead. Which direction led them to the center? He closed his eyes and tried to remember. “Left, I think we go left.” They did so but when they turned right at the end they were blocked.

“Are you sure you won’t get me lost in here?” she laughed.

His face heated. “I was wrong. We need to go right.”

“Why not straight?”

“Oh, you should never go straight, ever,” he said in a hushed tone.

Her eyes widened. “Why not?”

“Dragons live down there,” he whispered. “Or they did when I was a boy and we mustn’t disturb the dragons.”

She chuckled and followed him in the opposite direction they had originally gone. Twice he made incorrect turns while trying to reach the center. “Are you sure you won’t get us lost in here?”

“I promise to bring you back out safely, but in the event I fail, you will be rescued.”

“How?” she asked with a laugh.

Acker pointed to the upper windows of the house. “Whenever someone has gone missing, usually guests, Bentley sends a servant up to the top floor to look down into the maze.”

She glanced up to where he pointed and nodded before she allowed him to pull her deeper and deeper inside.

“From what I understand, Eleanor’s brothers had to be rescued quite a few times before they remembered the way.”

“Weren’t they afraid of the dragons?” Juliette whispered.

It was good to see her smile. “If you ever see them come in here, you’ll notice they each carry a small, wooden sword, just in case they need to slay one.”

“And what of you?” She asked with concern. “You have no weapon to protect this maiden.”

Acker frowned. “That was poor planning on my part, but have no fear, my lady, I will see that you are unharmed.”

Her eyes twinkled with laughter and it was all he could do not to pull her in his arms and kiss her. He would have if he didn’t fear they were being watched from above. For the moment he couldn’t recall which rooms overlooked this portion of the estate, but they all belonged to a family member.

Acker grabbed her hand and pulled her through the last turns until they reached the center. She gasped when he led her inside. It was a perfect square with four benches at each of the different walls formed by the tall, manicured bushes. The area was paved and had a fountain in the center. He had forgotten the simple beauty of this place. Or perhaps, he hadn’t appreciated it as a boy.

She turned and walked around the center, dipping her fingers in the water, a delightful smile on her face.

“At least we avoided the dragons,” she teased.

Acker grew serious and placed an arm about her waste. “Only in this part of the maze, for they do not come in here.” He looked around as if he were being overly cautious and then lowered his voice. “But we will need to leave eventually.”

Juliette rolled her eyes and pulled away from him before wandering to a bench to sit. It was the very spot he had hoped to lead her to because it was the only place to relax that was not in view of the windows of the mansion as it was blocked by the tall hedges. He settled beside her, picked up her hand and curled his fingers around hers. It felt so small and delicate in comparison to his own. She glanced down, a light blush staining her cheeks.

“Are you comfortable at Bentley Manor?” If the memories were too much he would gladly take her to his estate.

“You must have thought me quite silly yesterday. I don’t know why I reacted as strongly as I did.”

Acker shifted and placed his other hand against her cheek. “Never. I only wish I could have eased your pain.”

She smiled gratefully up at him.

“Do you remember anything else?”

Juliette shook her head. “I have no other real memories, just feelings. Some pleasant, such as when I am with nurse.”

The woman had probably been the one to care for Juliette most of the time and it stood to reason the woman would make her feel safe.

“I am getting used to being here. It is oddly familiar yet there is nothing else specific. I just know where certain rooms are and can go anywhere I please without the need of direction.”

“Except this maze,” he reminded her.

Juliette laughed. “I doubt I would have been allowed to wander in here at such a young age.”

Acker wondered how often her brothers had run in here to hide when they were children, if they weren’t too afraid to hide from Bentley.

“I am glad we are here for mother’s sake,” she continued. “The air will be good for her, and she has your mother for company. I know maman has enjoyed renewing her friendship with Lady Acker.”

“I saw the dowager sitting with them as well.”

“Yes,” Juliette brightened. “The two are getting on very well. I suppose it is because they have much in common having been married to such a beast.”

Acker didn’t laugh because he knew Juliette was not joking. Her father bordered on evil.

“Do you resent your mother for taking you away?” Since the discovery of who she was, the question had plagued him. How would he feel if there was a life he had been denied and all choices taken out of his hands?

“At first I was resentful for being lied to all of these years. I wasn’t exactly angry at mother, but I couldn’t understand why she had never told me the truth. After yesterday, I know all too well why mother did what she did.” She turned her head and stared at the fountain.

Though the rest of Bentley’s children had grown into adulthood, Acker did not think Juliette was exaggerating. Her emotions yesterday had been too raw and her face bordered on terror when she threw the willow switch across the room.

“I have scars,” she said quietly. “On my bottom.” A blush stained her cheek but Acker didn’t comment. “I had asked maman about them when I was younger and she said I had an accident when I was younger.”

“Did you believe her?”

“At the time yes, but I did question them as I grew older. They are two perfectly straight lines and I couldn’t imagine how I could have come by such an injury.”

Acker winced. Her father had struck her hard enough to scar her. The man was a beast.

“I am not sure I would have survived had we remained.”

Acker squeezed her hand, wishing to remove the haunted look in her eyes. “And, you probably would not have experienced Paris or Milan.”

A small smile appeared on her lips. “I miss them both.”

Those were words he had not wanted to hear. “Would you return if you had the chance?” He needed to know the answer, but feared it as well.

Juliette turned to look at him and bit her bottom lip. “It is what I intend to do, after…”

Though she didn’t say the words, he knew Juliette meant to leave after her mother passed on.

“Why?”

Her forehead crinkled as she frowned. “I can’t be who I am here.”

“How do you know you can’t be more?” He countered.

“You heard Bentley. He won’t allow me to dance.”

It always came back to her being a ballerina. He turned and grasped both of her hands in his. He had to make her understand. “What of a world you have yet to experience.”

She eyed him suspiciously.

“Since you first began to dance that is all you have known. Your father was an earl, and now your brother holds that title. You are a lady, with more options than you dreamed.”

Juliette pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “In other words, I have the option of dressing in the finest of clothing, relaxing in the country in the summer and winter months, and being paraded through balls and soirees in the spring.” She leaned in. “And, if I am very lucky, some gentleman will offer for me and I will be blissfully happy because I will have wed and my life will be complete once the heir and the spare have arrived.”

He wanted to blurt out yes, but knew she wouldn’t take the assurance well.

“There is more to London than balls. You have yet to experience the museums, or sit in a private box for a play or opera. What of riding in Hyde Park, getting an ice at Günter’s, and shopping on Bond Street?”

“An existence such as you describe will drive me to Bedlam.”

“Perhaps not. Have you considered the right husband could make all the difference?”

Juliette tilted her head and studied him.

“What if that husband were me?”

Acker knew he shouldn’t hold his breath waiting for her response, but he couldn’t force himself to breath. Slowly she smiled. He let out a breath.

“I will make you happy, Juliette. It is all I wish to do. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were all I wanted.”

Tears glistened in her eyes.

Acker leaned forward and placed his lips against hers. Juliette returned it. He couldn’t get as close as he liked in this position and Acker scooped her up and settled her on his lap as Juliette’s arms wove around his neck.

*

Juliette blinked back her tears and allowed Acker to kiss and hold her. She would give him this. Without thinking about her actions, Juliette pushed her fingers through the hair at the back of his head as he deepened the kiss. As his tongue mated with her, her body heated. What would it be like to be loved by Acker? Her only experience with passion were those moments she had spent with him and she wanted to know so much more, but it would not be.

But for now, she would take something for herself.

This time when he cupped her breast, molding it in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the nipple she did not panic. He no longer wished for her to be a mistress but a wife, simply because she was now a lady. Had he asked her in Milan, or even in London before he knew who she was she would have happily agreed to be his wife. But not now.

He pulled away first, both of them short of breath.

“Has no lady ever been a dancer or actress after she married into Society?”

Acker sighed. “Not to my knowledge. I imagine the scandal would have spread as quickly as a fire in a hay loft.”

Juliette slid from his lap. Her moment of bliss with Acker was over, never to be visited again.

“It is just not done,” he added.

“Which is why I will not marry.”

Acker stood. “What? I thought you just agreed to be my wife.”

“I didn’t give you an answer,” she said simply. “I can’t marry you.”