Lady Amelia's Mess and a Half (30 page)

“It’s not a choice I’ve been given. I am with child whether I like it or not.”

His muscles went rigid. She didn’t see this as the joyful event he did. “How long have you known?”

***

Amelia winced in response to the chill in Jake’s voice. She hadn’t meant to insult him, and having his child would be an honor if they were already married and their child would have his name.

“Jake, please understand. I cannot think of this pregnancy as a blessing right now.”

Every muscle rippled as he jerked on a dry pair of trousers. “I can
only
think of our child as a blessing. You didn’t answer my question. I take it you have known for some time.” He donned a shirt and tucked the tails into the waistband of his trousers. Stalking to the chair where his dry boots rested, he plopped down and shoved his foot into one.

“Are you leaving again?” she asked.

He glanced up briefly before returning his attention to his other boot. “The worst of the storm has passed. It seems Daniel managed to avoid the center.”

She had failed to notice the violent rocking had ceased or the brightening of the sky. “But why must you leave?”

“You haven’t responded to
my
question yet, Amelia. Do not expect any answers from me.” He stood and stomped toward the cabin door.

She rushed forward. “Wait. Mr. Timmons told me. Our first day onboard.”

Jake’s jaw tightened and his furious glower caused her to shrink back. “All this time you have known and kept it from me. You really see carrying my child as a curse, don’t you?”

“I don’t, but—”

“Save your explanations. I’ll have your meal delivered to the cabin. Daniel will find another place for me to sleep.” Before she could protest, he exited the room, slamming the door as he went.

She considered chasing after him, but her experience with Captain Hillary gave her pause. With Jake angry with her, she would rather avoid his overprotective older brother. Instead, she lit the lantern and pulled out her book to wait for Jake to come to his senses.

An hour later, she questioned if the man even had any senses to return to him. She placed Shakespeare on the side table.

Devil
take
it
. Captain Hillary or no, she was going after Jake.

She marched to the door, flung it open, and screamed.

A giant boulder with human features stooped over outside her door, too tall to stand upright. “Shh, miss. Don’t scare me like that. Captain Hillary sent me to guard you.”

Amelia’s heart pounded dreadfully hard.

“You see, miss. No one comes in your cabin, and—”

“No one comes out,” she finished with hands on her hips and a soured expression.

The man scratched his head. “How would anyone get out when I’ve let no one in?”

“Let me rephrase. I cannot leave my cabin, correct?”

He squinted as he appeared to contemplate what she said. “You don’t wish to come out of your cabin?”

“Of course I do,” she snapped. Really, wouldn’t her appearance in the doorway make her intentions obvious? And if Captain Hillary thought to stop her with some beast of a man—

Her gaze ran across the expanse of his shoulders and down his ridiculously bulging arms. Well, she supposed she would have to capitulate this time, but if her guard dozed, she would sneak past him. She eyed his forearm, which was the size of her thigh.
Maybe.

“My name’s Patch.” He offered his arm. “I am to escort you when you leave your cabin.”

“Oh.” Actually, that was thoughtful of Jake’s brother. She would have taken Patch’s arm, but there was no way they could move side by side in the cramped space. “Perhaps I should follow you?”

“Yes, miss. Or is it milady?”

She suppressed a sigh. “Either will do. It matters little to me at this point.”

Once topside, she linked arms with him and moved toward the captain’s quarters, but Patch stopped, almost jerking her arm free from her person. “My apologies, milady, but you may not enter the captain’s cabins.”

“Why?”

“I don’t question Captain Hillary’s orders.”

Oh, for heaven’s sake
. “Well,
I
am under no such obligations.” Without her escort, she marched to Captain Hillary’s door and banged with the side of her fist. Heavy footsteps approached before the door flew open.

“Patch, what the hell is going on here?” Captain Hillary glared past her shoulder at the man who had slunk up behind her.

“She don’t listen too well, Captain.”

“Then cart her below deck.”

She’d had enough of this ill treatment. “I demand to speak with Jake,
now.
”

Captain Hillary stepped from his quarters and pulled the door closed behind him. “He doesn’t wish to speak with you, Lady Audley, so kindly find your way back to your cabin.”

She stood toe to toe with him, returning his glare with every ounce of fire she could muster. Neither of them backed away.

“Allow him some time to calm down, Amelia. I will speak with him on your behalf.”

When she still refused to budge, Captain Hillary spoke to Patch. “Use caution when you carry her below deck.”

Patch moved toward her with regret heavy in his posture.

“Oh, very well,” she said and slapped away his hands. “I will go, but inform Jake I will be back tomorrow, and the next day and the next until he speaks with me.”

She spun on her heel and strode to the hatch with her bulky shadow trailing behind her.

Jake sat across from Daniel in the flickering lantern light, uninterested in the mush in front of him. “And you say Amelia is still served meat?”

His brother grunted, which might have been an affirmation, but more likely meant Jake should stop chattering.

Their supplies were low at this point in the journey, and Jake couldn’t thank Daniel enough for giving his usual fare to Amelia. He tried to repay his brother’s kindness by being quiet, but before he raised the spoon to his mouth, another question tumbled out.

“And your man continues to report she is well?”

The corner of Daniel’s lip lifted as if amused. “You seem uncommonly interested in the welfare of someone you don’t care to speak with any longer. Perhaps four days has changed your mind.”

“No, it hasn’t.” Jake shoved a piece of stale bread in his mouth, but couldn’t even wait to swallow before asking his next question. “How did she respond when you sent her away today?”

His brother scooped the thick oatmeal with his spoon and grimaced. “She didn’t try to see you today.”

Jake’s pulse quickened. “She didn’t? Did you see her on deck? You don’t think she’s unwell, do you?”

“I saw her. She is causing a stir with the men, allowing her hair to flow freely.” Daniel nailed him with a sharp glare. “
Someone
should take her to task, but I tire of playing the tyrant.”

Jake ignored his brother’s chiding and swallowed another spoonful of the cold fare.

Stretching his arms above his head, Daniel yawned. “It appears Patch and Lady Audley have formed a fast friendship. She has taken to inviting him into her cabin in the evening.”

Jake almost choked, coughing into his napkin. When he recovered, he blurted, “Whatever for?”

“I told you, they have become friends.”

He bristled at the thought of another man enjoying Amelia’s company.

“Out of curiosity, how long do you plan to sulk?” his brother asked.

“I’m not sulking. I simply… I want her to…”

Blast
it
all.
He was sulking, wasn’t he? But he would be damned if he would admit to such a pathetic endeavor. “You tell me. How is a man to interpret a woman’s despair over carrying his issue?”

Daniel scraped the bottom of his bowl and ate the last bite. “She appears serene for a married woman carrying her lover’s child.”

“I am
not
her lover. I’m… I’m her…”

“Yes?”

He hated when Daniel was smug, smirking as if he knew some secret.

“But I never intended to be her lover,” Jake argued. “I believed we were betrothed, as did she. I intend to be her husband.”

“See where impatience will get you, little brother?”

“Sod off.”

Daniel chuckled. “Of course any man who has waited as long as you have for the lady is granted some leeway.”

He sat up straighter. “I
did
wait a bloody long time, and I will be damned if I lose her now.”

His brother leaned back, balancing the chair on two legs. “Have you stopped to think about what you will do if Audley is alive and refuses to cooperate?”

“I will make him cooperate.” Jake sprang from his seat, prepared to fight.

“But what if he cannot be forced into divorcing her? What if Amelia chooses to stay with her husband?”

“She wouldn’t. Why would she?” He threw his arms wide as his voice grew louder. “Audley abandoned her. What woman would align with a man who doesn’t want her?”

Daniel shrugged. “Maybe Audley had no choice but to leave. Men make mistakes, and avoiding detection may have been the only way to save Amelia from disgrace.”

“What a ridiculous piece of fiction,” he spat.

“But let’s say it’s true. Suppose Audley wants Amelia to stay with him. What reason would she have for refusing? She is with child and alone in England.”

“She isn’t alone. I will remain by her side forever. I don’t require a legal document to prove my commitment.”

Daniel raised one eyebrow in that pompous way he had about him. “And Amelia will know you will stay by her side how exactly?”

Hellfire
and
damnation!
Why did his brother have to be so damned sensible all the time?

Jake stalked to the cabin door. “I need fresh air.”

“Take all you like.” Daniel’s sardonic laughter trailed him onto the deck, riling him even more.

Jake hurried to the hatch and scrambled down the ladder, stopping outside Amelia’s door. Her laughter mingled with the deep voice of that dimwit Daniel had assigned to protect her. When a delighted squeal pierced the air, jealousy shot to the pit of Jake’s stomach. He flung the door open, startling the occupants.

Amelia recovered from her surprise and scowled before scooping two dice in her hands. “Do you ever knock?”

Patch glanced over his shoulder. “Mr. Hillary, do you care to rattle the bones with us?”

“What are you teaching her?”

Amelia lifted her chin, her demeanor chilly. “It is called hazard, Mr. Hillary. Surely, you are familiar with the game. From what I have heard, you are a fair player at Brook’s.” She smiled at Daniel’s lackey as if they shared a private joke. “Brook’s is a gentleman’s club in London.”

“Filled with deuced aristocrats, milady?”

Jake had an overwhelming desire to thump his bald head.

“Mr. Hillary is not nobility, Mr. Patch. He simply has the arrogance of one.”

Jake stalked to the table. “Your services are no longer required.”

Amelia blew on her cupped hands, shook them in the air, and tossed the dice. “Oh, zooks!” She glanced at Jake. “
I
will decide if Mr. Patch’s services are needed or not.”

The hulking giant pushed from the chair, towering over Jake by several inches. “I think it’s best to listen to the gentleman, milady.”

“I understand if you feel you must abide by his wishes. I am under no such obligations. And I should still like to see you on the morrow, Mr. Patch. You promised I could watch the sunrise.”

Jake gestured to the door. “Take the morning off.”

“Yes, sir.” Patch threw a sheepish glance toward Amelia. “Maybe another morning, milady?”

“It would be my pleasure, sir.”

Once they were alone, Amelia snatched the dice and rolled them repeatedly, refusing to look at Jake. A deep frown furrowed her brow.

Finally, he cleared his throat, gaining her attention.

Her fierce glower, however, gave him pause. “Who are you to dictate who I may associate with and when?”

His Mia was more than sweetness and compassion; she possessed a healthy dose of mettle, not that he should have forgotten after their last big clash. He preferred being in her good graces.

“I’m the arse who loves you, Amelia.”

His blunt response earned a slight lifting of one corner of her beautiful lips. “Castigating yourself does not make up for your horrid treatment, Mr. Hillary, but it’s a good start.”

“Will you please stop referring to me formally?” He slumped into the seat across from her. “I’ll admit I never stopped to think how you might view being with child. When you told me, all I could think was how thrilled I was to become a father. I could not fathom why you would not be happy, but I understand now. Things are a bit out of order.”

“Reaching a point of understanding does not excuse your previous behavior.”

Amelia wasn’t going to give him an inch, and he loved her even more for her strength. “Excellent point. Understanding
doesn’t
make up for my previous behavior. I won’t pretend there is an adequate excuse. I was wrong and I am sorry.” He reached his hand across the table, palm up, urging her to meet him in the middle. “Can’t we put this behind us? Soon we’ll be married and raising our child together.”

“How can you be so naive?” She jumped to her feet. “Marrying me will turn your life topsy-turvy.
If
”—her hand sliced through the air—“Audley even agrees to return to England. Our child will be born long before the divorce is completed, which will help prove Audley’s case against me, but hurt our poor child who will be deemed illegitimate. I cannot do this.”

“Amelia—”

“It was a mistake coming with you.” She rounded the table, headed for the door. “It’s all too much to ask. You deserve a wife with fewer complications. I’m wrong for you.”

Jake reached out, snagged her arm, and pulled her onto his lap. A cold knot lodged in his chest. How long had she been suffering under this mistaken assumption? “Shh, listen for a moment.” She tried to break away, but he held her in place. “You are the only thing right in my life.”

She shook her head and attempted to climb to her feet, but he wouldn’t allow her to run away. Besides, there was nowhere to go.

“Amelia, I apologize. It never dawned on me you thought we were bringing Audley back to England.”

“Then what
are
we doing?”

“Everything is different in New Orleans.” As much as he wanted her, he would never put her through the hell of a divorce in England. He smoothed back loose tendrils of hair curling at her temple. “Audley has opened a door for us by establishing residency there. I promise, before we leave, you’ll be free, and we shall marry.”

“Truly?” Her bottom lip quivered, and Jake brushed his thumb across it.

“Truly. But take heart, perhaps Mr. Canaan is exactly who he says he is.”

She scoffed. “Then we would have made this trip for no reason.”

“Oh, come now. It hasn’t been all bad.”

“Hasn’t been bad?” Amelia jabbed a finger against his chest. “Perhaps
you
should carry our child and spend most of your time in intimate conversation with the chamber pot.”

He laughed. “Now that you mention it, I’m growing jealous of the time you spend with that fellow. Every time I get close, you run off to meet him.”

Her worry lines eased but didn’t disappear. “Your life would be easier if you forgot about me.”

“Never.” They had been separated long enough for him to know nothing was easier without her.

He rested his head against hers. “We belong together. If hardships stand in our way, we must hold tight to each other. We’ll survive this. I promise.”

She snuggled against him, her warmth penetrating his thin shirt. “If you promise, then I believe you.”

“Does this mean you’ve forgiven me for being an arse?”

“If you will forgive me for hiding my condition. I wanted to tell you, but…”

He caressed her soft cheek with his fingertips. “I’ve already forgotten it, sweetheart.”

“Then so have I.”

Now that their quarrel had ended, curiosity was killing him. All he’d been able to think on these past few days was his child growing inside her. “How far along are you?”

“Twelve weeks, I believe.”

He grinned. Sometime around the masked ball.

“Stop looking proud of yourself.” Her smile softened the reprimand. Taking his hand, she placed it over her stomach. “I won’t be able to hide my condition much longer.”

He circled her belly with his palm. “Is he moving yet?”

“Not where you can feel. And what makes you think we’re having a boy?”

“Do you sense you carry a girl?”

Her Mediterranean blue eyes filled with affection. “No, I’ve been thinking of the babe as a he myself.”

“Splendid.” Jake hugged her. In truth, he held no preference. Son or daughter, he would love the babe, every bit as much as he loved his child’s mother.

His blood heated with her soft body pressed against his. It had been too long since he’d made love to her. His lips brushed hers then applied more pressure. How many oceans would he cross for a lifetime of her sweet kisses? He could willingly let her go as easily as he could give up breathing.

His hand slid up her neck and pulled her closer, his mouth eager for her taste. She softened in his arms and returned his kiss, but when his fingers grazed the underside of her breast, she scrambled from his lap.

“Wait!” She bumped against the table in her haste, but instead of dashing for the folding screen, she stared, her hand resting lightly over her chest. “We can’t.”

“Pardon?”

“This.” She swirled her hand as if performing a sleight-of-hand trick. “We can’t do
this
.”

“A magic act?”

“No!” she said and scowled. “We can’t tempt fate.”

Gads
. This didn’t sound promising. “Please explain, because you lost me at ‘we can’t.’”

She sighed and leaned against the table. “Don’t you ever wonder if this would have come about if we had waited until we were married? I mean Audley. Not our child. If we had done everything in the proper order, maybe Audley wouldn’t have resurfaced.”