Ladies Listen Up (20 page)

As we headed toward the door Paige walked in front of me and I placed my hand on her hip, trying to steal a feel. The alcohol.

I was nearly at the door when I felt someone grab my arm. I turned and it was Rhiana. I paused momentarily. Paige didn’t notice I’d stopped and kept walking. “You leaving?”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to brush her off and keep it moving. “I’ll catch up with you next time.

“Oh, okay,” she said in a sinister voice. “…But I remembered where I knew you from.” I started to walk again. “I was at your wedding. I know Alicia.”

I looked back at her and was about to stop when Paige came back and tapped my shoulder, “C’mon, papi. What you doing?” she asked. Then she looked at Rhiana. The two traded glances and it was obvious that they’d had dealings of some sort. Rhiana rolled her eyes and walked off.

“I hate that Chinese bitch,” Paige said. “She thinks she’s all that.”

We started off and headed out the door and up M Street. “Where do you know her from?”

“We used to work together a long time ago. Fuck her.”

I’d thought about it briefly but didn’t mention it to Paige. It wasn’t that cold for a night in the middle of winter. I was thinking the upper forties. We still walked briskly to the garage where her ride was parked.

We took the elevator down to P2 and headed for a black Cadillac Escalade. She hit the alarm. “Climb in,” she commanded.

She started the engine and “Burn” started banging through the stereo. She turned the volume down. “Where’d you park?”

“Actually, I’m at the other end of the block. The garage across from the bank.”

“Okay.”

We sat for a second as she let the truck warm up. “So, when can I see you?” she asked.

“When you ready?”

“What about tomorrow afternoon?” Over the next fifteen minutes, I learned all the times that she was free and why. Her man was busy. He was into the gym. He raced motorcycles. He hung out with his frat brothers way too much, and to top it off, he traveled for work. “When he’s home, he has the nerve to tell me that I get on his nerves, that I want sex too much.”

I smiled when she said that. It was an opening. I asked her what she liked as far as sex went and she told me. She liked it every way imaginable. Sometimes rough, sometimes soft. She liked to watch porno and then she made my night when she said, “I love to fuck in strange places.”

I looked around and wondered for a quick minute if the bottom of a garage was strange enough. My question was answered quickly enough and I had to admit that I was surprised that she gave me head, but nevertheless thankful. She didn’t give a damn if they had cameras in the garage. She opened the back doors to the truck and let me fuck her from behind while she laid her body flat on the storage area where the third row of seats would have been.

“So we still on for tomorrow?” she asked as we pulled up in front of the garage where I was parked.

“Hell yeah, just call me.” I was still buzzing, but now both tired and relaxed enough to go home and get some rest.

“I will,” she said, and leaned in for a kiss.

“I’ll be waiting.”

I barely remembered
the drive home. I was half-asleep, to tell the truth, as I drove home with the window open. I felt bad and irresponsible for being a drunk driver. As I pulled into my development I thanked God for letting me make it. When I parked I sat in my car for a second. My head was spinning slightly and I didn’t want to make it this close only to bust my head on the concrete in front of my door.

When I stepped out of the car and started up the walk, I had the shit scared out of me. “Diego,” the familiar voice called. “I need you.”

I turned around and saw my brother standing in front of me. He looked like he’d been attacked by Mike Tyson in his younger days. His eye was swollen shut, his lip was busted, and his face was scratched up. “Lee, what the hell happened to you?”

“Nicole, man.” I was silent. I didn’t understand. “She…been…beating the hell outta me.”

He could have knocked me over with a feather. My brother, who used to give me the beat-down as a kid until he grew up and out of doing it, was sitting there telling me his five-foot-four wife was slapping him around. “What?” I asked in utter disbelief.

He repeated himself. I don’t know if it was the liquor or the disbelief, but I started to laugh right in his face. He then looked down at the ground. “Man, you serious?”

He nodded. We headed into the house and he told me everything. From the beginning. How it had started with yelling, then her suicide threats. He’d been embarrassed at her behavior, and for that reason, he hadn’t told anyone.

“And you met this bitch at Bible study, right?” I said. I shook my head in disgust. “Let me ask you this…did you ever think of fighting back?”

He was quiet for a minute, then he answered, “I always do.”

“What you mean? Well, why you look like this?”

He shook his head. “Diego, man. She’s good. She’s like a black belt and she takes all these boxing lessons.”

“You got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that you can’t beat her—” I didn’t get the words off before my doorbell began to ring. It was one in the morning and I didn’t play that.

I headed for the door. “Nah, that’s her. Call the police,” Lee told me.

I looked at him and all the respect that I could muster for him wasn’t enough to keep me from saying, “Fuck that. I’ll kick the bitch’s ass if she try that karate shit.”

“Who is it?” I yelled.

“Open the door. You know who it is. Tell Lee to bring his ass out here.”

I swung the door open. “Lee is staying here tonight.” I looked at her face and she looked fine. Not a scratch. She proceeded to open my screen door and make her way in. For some reason, my fraternal instincts kicked in and I yelled out, “Leave him the hell alone. Take your crazy ass home.”

“Fuck you, nigga,” she yelled, and tried to bull her way past me.

Like a scene out of a seventies blaxploitation film, I hauled my hand back like Ron O’Neal and delivered one of the hardest pimp slaps in modern history. It was like the alcohol and adrenaline had blended together to create some bolder and crazier me.

My hand cracked her across the side of her head and sounded off like a wet towel hitting an ass in the locker room. I was in shock as she fell to the ground, holding not her face but her ear.

“Yo, what’s wrong with you?” my brother said as he ran toward me with his fists balled up. She was on the ground and she began to whimper. “That’s my wife,” he yelled.

Lee shoved me in the chest and I shoved him back. Nicole began to cry that her ear was ringing. “He busted my eardrum. Diego busted my eardrum.”

“Man, you’re crazy,” he yelled in my face, and the spit was flying as he talked.

I couldn’t believe his nerve. “Where was all this when she was kicking your ass?”

Hearing that, he swung and punched me right in the stomach. I felt the punch and it felt like my stomach was wrapped around his fist. I dropped to my knees and began to vomit. I was delirious as he picked her up. “Come on. Let’s go, baby.”

I picked myself up, still coughing, wanting desperately to get a punch off on Lee, but he’d made it out the door, carrying his wife. He was almost to his car and I yelled from my porch, “Y’all are sick puppies. You deserve each other.”

“I’ll get you, Diego,” she yelled as she climbed into her car.

“Anytime, bitch. Anytime,” I said, giving her the finger. “Lee, I’m gonna kick your ass when I see you, man.”

He slammed his door and drove off, knowing that that was the first and the last time he could come to me with that bull crap. I slammed my door and went up to my room and fell across my bed. A few thoughts ran through my mind as I closed my eyes. After thinking about all the good and all the bad that was me, I realized that I was who I was. Perhaps it was time for me to accept the role that life had given me. Maybe I’d never change. Maybe I’d never find someone to take Alicia’s place. Maybe true love simply wasn’t meant for me. And maybe, just maybe, I’d been put here to take up the slack of husbands and boyfriends who didn’t know how, or simply didn’t care enough, to do their jobs.

I closed my eyes and reasoned with myself to get some peace. Aside from the emptiness it seemed I felt whenever I was alone for too long and destruction of my soul that creeping with the next man’s wife brought, I thought to myself,
There are plenty of jobs that are worse
.

April 2006

The meeting had
seemingly come from out of nowhere. A friend of a friend of a music exec had seen Jacob’s performance with his group at Hammerjack’s in Baltimore and the call had come two days later.

Talk of No Question recording an album had been going on for three months now and nothing had come of it. Jacob had begun to get frustrated. It wasn’t so much that he feared that his time was passing him by, it was more that he didn’t want to become just another member of a local band. He’d seen other artists blow up in the D.C. area and he knew that he was just as talented as any of them. One small record company out of Philly was interested in signing them as a band, but neither a contract nor any money had been offered.

Elise had also been in his ear during the couple of months he’d been seeing her. He’d been amazed that a girl so young could have such a practical outlook on life. “Jacob,” she’d said. “Loyalty is a great thing and you should always strive to bring other people along when you find success. Unfortunately, you can’t truly help anyone until you make it, not without sacrificing the very success you are striving for. You have a chance to be great. You can’t give that up for your friends in the band. I wouldn’t even want you to give it up for me.”

As they sat in the bed she’d added, “People see you headed for stardom and they don’t want you to hop on board that train without them. But a lot of times, they don’t know what you did to get that ticket. They don’t know your pain, the risk you’ve taken. All they know is their own fear and that they don’t have that same ticket.” She’d leaned in and kissed him on the forehead that night.
“You’ve got to punch that ticket, baby. Another train is leaving the station right behind you. They can prepare to board that one.” Elise had become his biggest fan and his personal cheerleader.

A week later, Jacob recounted the entire conversation as he sat in Gladys Knight’s Chicken & Waffles out in Largo. Sonny Kingsdale, an A&R guy from Warner Records, was ready to walk Jacob right into headquarters and get a deal done. “It’s not a question of
can I get you signed
. It’s just a matter of you being prepared to do what you have to do. I can’t promise you anything about your band. I can’t even tell you that they’ll be able to play for you when you tour. Maybe, but maybe not. They do sound great behind you on the demo, but who knows? When it comes down to it, these things take on a life of their own. A year from now, they might not even be able to get a ticket to one of your shows. I’ve seen it happen before. I’m only telling you this because I’m a straight shooter. The last thing I want is an unhappy artist. You go solo. You blow up. You lose friends and sometimes even family.”

Jacob felt pressured. “So how soon do I have to let you know?”

Sonny was a fast talker. It was how he got paid. He looked at his watch. “About forty-five minutes ago,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Listen, Jacob. It’s a no-brainer. You sign with me and I walk you in. You get a deal and you have a career. If not, I walk away and your ship has sailed. Maybe you get another shot down the road. Maybe you don’t. But you risk playing in these little hokey spots until you’re forty-five. There’s a million cats who can sing, but not a million record companies. I hate to be short, but I gotta run. I’ve got a flight to L.A. leaving at four and traffic’s a bitch. What’s it gonna be?”

Jacob thought about it. He thought about his band members
and all the things they’d talked about doing. How they’d believed in him and had helped him even get into a position to have someone offering him a shot.

Sonny went on about how Jacob was going to be the male version of Jill Scott. “You mean the next Maxwell, then, huh?”

“Exactly. That’s putting it even more precise. You’ll be huge, as far as neosoul artists go,” he said.

Jacob signed the paper. He was officially in negotiations with Warner Records and could no longer shop for a deal or perform with No Question, not until his deal was done. Sonny hadn’t left anything to chance. He didn’t want anyone stealing away his new commodity.

“You won’t regret this. Keep your nose clean and I’ll talk to you next week to let you know when we’ll be sending for you.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to finish out the school year?”

“Why would you want to?” Sonny laughed. “But sure. If you want. That’s what, two months, right?”

“Yeah, about.”

“Okay. We’ll still get you out to Cali some time in the next couple weeks to get your deal done and we’ll take it from there.”

Jacob walked through
the door of Elise’s apartment. She was seated on the couch Indian style, watching
Hustle & Flow
on DVD. When she looked up she couldn’t read his expression. “So how’d it go?”

When he explained how everything had gone down and that he’d signed the deal, Elise leaped up and screamed, doing a little dance on the floor. “I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy for you.”

Then they hugged and she kissed him on the cheek. While she held him she whispered in his ear, “I’m so proud of you.” He could barely contain his emotions. They were winning
together
. Then she added, “I hope this doesn’t blow you, but I have some news as well.”

Jacob didn’t like the look on her face. “Oh yeah. What’s that?”

She exhaled and said, “I’m leaving. I’m going back to Indianapolis.”

Puzzled, he said, “You hated it there, though. Why?”

“My aunt is really sick and I need to go and help out. She really needs me. The kids need someone to look after them.”

Jacob’s heart sank. “So you’re leaving as soon as the school year is over?”

“No, I’m leaving next week.”

“What?” he yelled. “You can’t leave…I—” He cut himself off. Then he went on: “Elise, what about your dreams? I’m going to do this music thing and I want you with me.”

“You’ll be fine. We’ll be in touch.”

“Be in touch?”

“It’s not like you’ll never hear from me again.”

“You can’t go, baby.”

“Don’t do this, Jacob. Don’t try to make this hard.”

“But, sweetheart, you inspire me and…” His voice began to crack. “…I need you.” Jacob’s heart was now throbbing. He couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving. In an instant it felt as if his whole world was crashing down. Honestly, he felt like crying.

“I’m sorry, Jacob. But you’re a
grown
man. Those kids need me, too. Their mother is sick and she was there for me when I needed someone.” She sounded as if she didn’t care about walking out on him. As if leaving was easy for her. Perhaps the whole thing had
been in his head. Maybe the time they’d spent together had really been nothing.

Out of pain his tone became biting. “She used you as a housekeeper and a babysitter. You don’t owe her.” He moved closer to her and his desperation became clear as his normally smooth voice cracked. “She can hire someone to help. I’ll pay for it. You don’t owe her…”

“Well, I don’t owe you either.” Her expression turned ice-cold. She stood and shouted, “Man, I can’t believe you’re acting like this.”

“I can’t believe
you’re
acting like this. What about all that stuff you just finished saying about following dreams and not letting anyone hold you back. You’re acting like a gullible little girl right now.”

“Yeah, a
little
girl, huh? Was I a little girl when you were digging all up in this?” She waved her hand dismissively and said, “Jacob, get the fuck out of my house.”

“You—”

She cut him off and repeated herself three times in all, her voice growing louder with each demand. The last time she walked to the door, opened it, and yelled, “Now.”

As Jacob moved slowly to the door he noticed a tear rolling down her cheek. He stopped and said, “Elise, I’m sorry.”

“Jacob, just please go. Please.”

He walked out the door and down the steps. He sat in his car for a minute before he started it. It should have been one of the most exciting days of his life; he was going to record an album. Instead, he felt like his head was about to explode the same way his heart had. Before he realized it, he was crying. He drove off and tried to pull himself together as he faced the fact that he was in love with Elise.

Elise’s hands were
trembling as she dialed the number. “Hello” came the voice on the other end.

“I did it, okay,” Elise said. “I ended it. Now please, just leave him alone.”

“I’m warning you. If I see you with him again…any of his shows, I will go to the principal and the police. I will ruin him.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t.”

“I better not,” she said as she watched Jacob pulling off.

“You made your point,” Elise said, and hung up the phone. As the pain of losing what she’d built with Jacob began to consume her, she climbed up off the couch and struggled to make it to her bedroom. She didn’t make it. Her knees got weak and it was all she could do to make it to the toilet, where she threw up, again.

Usually Paige didn’t
have much time when she rolled through. Half the time she came in the door and immediately devoured me. Fuck first, ask questions later. Since the night we’d met, our sexcapades had grown in frequency until I was sure that I was hitting it more than her husband. She was staying until the wee hours of the morning so often that I was wondering where her man was fitting into the equation and if he actually lived in the house.

I had gotten used to enjoying her company even when we weren’t sexing each other up, but there was no mistaking what our relationship was about. We’d lie in the bed sometimes and talk afterward, and that was cool. Other times she’d simply admit that she only needed an attitude adjustment. On those occasions she’d come
through the door, bend over the sofa, and take it hard and fast. Then she’d head home to her husband before her panties even had the time to dry.

This weekend we’d planned to really hang out some since her husband was off at a motorcycle convention of some sort down south. So with his absence, we’d spent the day out at Tyson’s II, doing some shopping. Paige had been thoughtful enough to pick up a couple things for him while she shopped. When we finished we decided to get a bite to eat at Legal Sea Foods.

Over dinner we had a talk about my career. “Diego, I read your column the other day,” she said as she sipped on a glass of Chardonnay. “It was pretty good. But I have to ask. Where do you come up with some of the bullshit answers you give?”

“Pardon me?”

“I mean, do you really believe the things you say? Like that women should be submissive. Or that men don’t want to know that their women are cheating?”

“Everything I say is from the heart. Absolutely.”

“Wow. So what kind of response are you getting? Do women like your answers?”

“Hell yeah. They write all the time with their praises. I get so many e-mails from sisters all over the county saying that they have been waiting for someone to come along to keep it real with them. Most people try to give politically correct answers, or say something simply for the sake of being controversial. That’s bullshit. I say what’s real. If you gave a nigga some truth serum and asked him some questions…that’s what you get with me.”

She nodded. “So, how much do they pay you for that?”

“They
pay
me.” I laughed. I figured that she was trying to figure
out my financial status. She’d seen me spend a thousand bucks at the mall and I figured it had her wondering. She knew that I taught school for a living, and the damage I’d done in Saks wouldn’t add up in her mind.

“They must be paying you okay,” she said. “You seem to stay fly all the time.”

Actually, my stylish dress had been a new development. I had just recently been able to spend a few bucks on nice things. The first part of my advance from my deal for my radio show,
Ladies Listen Up,
had just come through. So Paige had come along at just the perfect time. With the money from the column and my school salary, I was able to blow a few dollars. Since she was the main woman I’d been sleeping with since I’d fallen out with Lanelle, she was the recipient of any generosity. I purchased her a Louis Vuitton bag and a couple pairs of shoes. She seemed really grateful.