Lacuna: The Ashes of Humanity (22 page)

The words bit her like teeth, but if she was ever going to move past this pain, she had to carry on. She had to have strength to push past the constant reminders and look to the future.

"Yeah, I am old." Liao stood, taking the plug with her. "Okay, you, you've enjoyed the captain's facilities a little longer than you really should have. You're clean, so you can go."

Olivia laughed and towelled down her hair as the water ran out. "I got to use the captain's bath. The other kids are going to be super jealous."

Liao narrowed her eyes slightly. "Are the other kids as dirty as you were?"

"Yeah." Olivia looked at her as if she was missing something obvious. "Like I said, the grownups get the best spots."

An hour later and Liao's bathroom was like an assembly line. A group of dirty children went in, were cleaned, and then left. They seemed to be in endless supply; she thought there were only a handful of children who had escaped on the
Beijing
. The majority were still aboard the
Washington
. It had been lucky enough to touch down near a Guangzhou preschool.

When it became more apparent there were more children aboard than they anticipated, Liao ordered a shipwide search. Cheung and the marines found more and more. Uniformly they were dirty, ill clothed, and tired. That made the task of cleaning them all harder, but she maintained order.

She bathed them three at a time, but even at that pace, it took hours. She had several of the junior officers make trips to the quartermaster to clad them in fresh clothes, ill-fitting as they were. The sight of children in military uniforms disturbed her, but it was better than their grubby civilian clothes.

Finally, the last group went in and bathed. Liao was tired but accomplished. Purposeful. She was doing something practical, rather than just commanding a ship that went nowhere and manning a largely superfluous station.

It was good to help.

After she cleaned and restored her bathroom to its fine finish, she used it herself. When she was clean, she appointed one of the junior officers, Qián, the title of Civilian Welfare Officer. If they were to have civilians living on-board, they had to be cared for. Children going without essentials under her command could not continue.

Then she went to see Doctor Saeed.

The medical bay was crowded and busy, even by regular standards. Nurses and doctors scurried about, weaving their way expertly through the crowded medical bay filled with the sick, the injured, and the infirm.

"Doctor Saeed," Liao said, finally tracking down her chief medical officer. He looked tired, exhausted even, and she wasn't sure when he had last changed his uniform. "You look terrible."

He regarded her with an inquisitive stare. "That was going to be my line. Your eyes are bloodshot. When was the last time you slept?"

Last night she was too busy scrubbing wayward children. The previous night she had… she struggled to remember.

"Are you drinking?"

Drinking? Liao shook her head. "No."

Saeed touched her forehead. "You're not feverish, which means, judging by the look of you, you're running on less than minimal sleep. How long have you been like this?"

"How long have we been on Eden?"

Saeed's glare caused her to raise her hands. "I was just kidding," she said. "Things are busy at the moment, doctor."

"That's correct. Things
are
busy, Captain, and this ship needs a functioning Commanding Officer."

"A ship going nowhere doesn't need a CO, Saeed."

His face told her that this was not a productive line of discussion. "In case you are unaware, you're no longer responsible for a military vessel, a well-oiled machine of parts and people that will continue to function without its head. This is now a small
city
. A collection of people, a collection of species, and we need leadership. I've spoken to your civilian counterpart, Mr. Shepherd, and he's doing a fine job—but he needs help. He needs
your
help."

"I'm fine," Liao said. "And Shepherd's doing fine, too."

"He's a policeman, not a leader. He'll do for now, but he'll have to be replaced later. Get your head in the game."

"Were you always this blunt, or did you leave your sense of humour on Earth?"

Saeed tapped something on his tablet, held it up, and took a picture. He showed it to her. "You look like crap."

"Thanks." Liao stared at the picture. It was hard to disagree with his assessment, even with her recent shower. She looked almost five years older, her skin pale and clammy and the stubble of her regrowing hair visible under her hat. The halogen lights of the medical bay were not flattering to her appearance, but even factoring in all of these, she looked wretched. How awful must she have looked before?

"No, my apologies," said Saeed. "You look great. The bags under your eyes are really a good look."

"I'm feeling better," said Liao, and she meant it. She handed the tablet back. "Certainly more than I was before."

"Before?"

"Never mind. Look. I came here because I'm concerned about sanitation levels across the ship. I spoke to several children, and they were filthy."

"I'm not surprised." Saeed squinted, looked away, then shook his head. "Actually, I am surprised; I expected you here sooner, talking my ear off about this. You are, of course, completely correct. I've been pestering Engineering to have more shower facilities constructed, but it's just not that simple. The bulkheads don't have the piping. We can't just install them. Rowe's teams have made some interesting progress—you might have noticed that Engineering Bay One is now Shower and Bathroom Bay One—but there's a lot more we can do."

"Give me your suggestions," Liao said. "I'll make sure Rowe makes them a priority."

"I will." Saeed tapped his tablet. "Also, you're off duty for three days."

Liao couldn't take three days off. Not now. "Thank you, Doctor, but I'll be fine."

"I think you're mistaking this order for a request. As the chief medical officer, I'm empowered to temporarily or permanently remove you from command if, in my assessment, you are no longer fit for command. I am exercising that power."

She tightened her fists then forced them to relax. "Doctor, I see what you're saying, but—"

"No, you don't. That's why the order stands."

Anger surged within her. "After what happened with the threatened miscarriage, Saeed, I thought we were friends—"

"This is Saeed your doctor speaking, not Saeed your friend." Saeed gestured around him. "Things are busy here, too, and yet I still manage to sleep the requisite hours my brain needs in order to function. Your mind is a machine, Commander. It is subject to the laws of physics and chemistry just like every other machine is. In order to maintain its ability to process the world around it and derive conclusions from that information, you require
rest
. I could give you the full rundown about what the latest research indicates the purpose of sleep to be in Human beings, but I would hope that you're capable of just accepting my judgement on this matter."

"But—"

"I suggest you alter your duty roster yourself, Commander, otherwise I will be forced to do it for you. I will have the ship's marines enforce this decision if necessary, and if things reach that stage, the duration of your rest will be significantly longer and will involve the intervention of the ship's counselling team." Saeed's voice softened. "Consider it this way, Commander. You have three days to sort out the hygiene problems onboard the ship. You seem to think it's important, after all."

"Three days," Liao promised, her tone seething. "Then I'm back on duty."

"Of course." Saeed smiled his trademark smile. "See you then."

Saeed was as good as his word. When she arrived back at her quarters, two of her marines were waiting by her door. They explained that Doctor Saeed had ordered them to stand guard for perceived threats to the ship's command structure for the next three days.

She was angry but knew better than to test him.
 

Liao didn't sleep again that night, but whereas before she had been depressed and without hope, this time she was energised. She used that time to bombard Rowe and the Engineering team with messages. More shower facilities. More toilet facilities. Better patrols and internal security.

It was a long way away from pitched space battles, but it was important work.

Between messages, she decided to nap and slept through nearly the whole next day. Her mouth was dry and her head pounding when she woke up; painkillers and a litre of water helped, but she spent the next day with a distinctly ill feeling in her belly.

Saeed had been right. She had pushed herself too far.

She slept well that afternoon, then into the night. Sixteen hours in another stretch. Her sleep debt must have been massive.

Another round of painkillers and water, and the second day wasn't so bad. She caught up on her paperwork, tidied her office, and the children of the ship took another round bathing in her private bathroom.

On the third day, bright and early, she dressed herself and returned to Operations.

"Well, well, well," said James, smiling as she entered, "it's the Mother of Urchins."

Word had clearly spread throughout the ship. "I think I have enough titles for the moment." Liao tried to avoid all the eyes on her. She smiled. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have your own ship to command?"

"Eh, details," said James. "Besides, Commander Sabeen's doing just fine, really. I think I'm more valuable down here."

She wanted to ask what James
was
actually doing down here, but the now well-rested cogs in her brain turned over before she foolishly opened her mouth. His presence in Operations told her everything she needed to know.

He was covering the shifts she was missing.

Embarrassing, but a topic for another time. Liao mentally reassured herself that she would miss no more shifts and James could, sooner rather than later, return to his own vessel.

If she could not even show up and do her job, how could she expect those under her command to?

"We're glad to have you." Liao moved to the centre of Operations and inspected the busy monitors that surrounded her, bathing the whole area in a low ambient glow. "All areas, report status."

Ling spoke first. "Radar is clean, Captain. No sign of any contacts, although we are tracking the CAP on its regular patrol. The radar on the
Madrid
is having some trouble tracking things in their quadrant. Fortunately we can cover it, and they expect to have their system restored momentarily."

Hsin was next. "Communications are quiet, Captain. The data link between the four Pillars is strong."

"Tactical is tracking the CAP," said Jiang, "and our own Broadswords are performing various missions.
Archangel
is fishing off the coast,
Warsong
is transporting Doctor Saeed back from the
Madrid
with a shipment of medical supplies, and the
Valhalla
is monitoring the L2 Lagrange point. All other craft are docked at this present time."

"Engineering's quiet," said Rowe. "Just managing an issue with the constructs. One of them experienced some kind of malfunction, I haven't been able to locate it at all, and another one looks like it's been getting orders from someone in the camp. I'll have to restrict who's authorised to do that."

"That was my fault," said Liao. "I… experimented."

Rowe shot her a dirty look. "Those things might be dangerous. You're the boss, but you're not an engineer. How about in the future you leave the cool toys to me, huh?" She sighed in aggravation. "What did you do, anyway?"

"I needed to know if they would protect themselves, so I had one of them eat the other one."

"
Eat
?"

"Yep."

Rowe's mouth fell open. "Wait, what the fuck?"

"I needed to know," said Liao. "I needed to know for sure if they would follow my orders."

"They're mindless," argued Rowe. "They have no initiative, no goals. They only do what you tell them! You destroyed one of the most valuable assets we have!"

"It was necessary." Liao clenched her teeth.