Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) (53 page)

“I do, but do you?” he asked, meeting her gaze. “’Cause lately, you’ve been quiet, and I feel like you’re hiding shit.”

She was, but she wasn’t going to tell him that when he was visibly upset. “I miss you, that’s why I’ve been so quiet and stuff. I don’t like being alone.”

“You wouldn’t be alone if you made friends. Elli said that you’ve been turning down her invitations left and right.”

“Because I’ve been missing you too much to leave the damn house,” she pointed out.

“But you’re leaving the state to go to Chicago.”

“To visit my family,” she said, annoyed with this whole argument. It was stupid and pointless.

“So when you’re with them, you won’t miss me then? What, are you going to replace me with them? Is it one or the other?”

“Oh my God, you are acting like a fucking pussy. What the hell is going on, Karson?”

“I’m not acting like a fucking pussy,
Karl
, I’m being serious. You won’t make friends, you won’t leave the house or do anything to make Nashville your home, but you’ll jump at the chance to go back to Chicago. How do you think that makes me feel? Do you think that gives me the confidence to know that you aren’t going to leave me?”

“This is insane and stupid!” she yelled with a shake of her head. “Do you not want me to go? I don’t get it! Tell me what you want and I’ll cater to you,” she snapped and he glared.

“I don’t want you to cater to anything you don’t fucking want to, Lacey. Do whatever the hell you want, and I’ll just sit here and hope you don’t leave me after they manipulate you into doing just that.”

She was going to kill him. “I’m not going to leave you!”

“We will see. Have fun in Chicago.”

“Are you serious right now?” she asked incredulously.

“As a damn heart attack, but whatever, I’ve got to go.”

“Oh no, you don’t. You hang up on me, I swear to God, I will fly out to LA and kick your ass.”

“What else is there to talk about, Lacey?”

Her heart was pounding, and while she wanted to knock him upside the head, she wanted to kiss the living shit out of him at the same time. “The fact that I fucking love you, you big idiot!”

He looked away, bringing his lip between his teeth. Ever since they had gotten back together, he had always been so confident in them, and she really didn’t understand this. Had she really been that distant? Along with missing him, she was still trying to figure out how she was going to tell him about the kid issue. Seeing him like this, so desperate for reassurance of their love, really gutted her. She didn’t want to leave him and she wasn’t going to, but would he leave her once he knew?

“I’m not ever going to leave you, Karson. You’re going to have to leave me for this to end.”

“Won’t happen,” he promised. “I can’t live a life without you.”

She wanted nothing more than to bottle that sentence up and keep it forever. Just to remind him down the road if need be. “And the same goes for me. It doesn’t matter what anyone says about you or about us, Karson. I’m yours, and that’s not going to change.”

Looking at her, he took in a deep breath. “I feel like an asshole for leaving you, and I feel bad doing anything because I’m not with you. I’ve even considered retiring, but I don’t think I can.”

“And you won’t,” she said with a shake of her head. “This sucks, we both know this, but we are going to be fine because we love each other. Love is about sacrifice, and I have no problem sacrificing my time with you so you can do something you love. It sucks, and I hate being away from you, but no matter what, I’ll be waiting for you to come home to me.”

Her eyes stung with tears as he nodded slowly. “I don’t want anyone waiting for me but you.”

“Good. No one ever will,” she said, a grin pulling at her lips. “Now stop fighting with me and tell me you love me.”

He smiled as he looked deep into her eyes. Her heart was in her throat as she waited for those three words. She loved this man with every ounce of her soul, and nothing would ever change that. She hated that she had made him question that and refused to allow it to happen again. She believed in them because he did; that couldn’t change. He was her rock.

“I love you so much, Lacey,” he said roughly. “Sorry for fighting with you.”

“Eh, that’s what married people do. Too bad we can’t have makeup sex,” she said with a wink and he grinned.

“Nine days and I got you.”

Closing her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath before opening them to meet his heated gaze. “I’m counting down the seconds.”

“Me too.”

Staring into his eyes, her heart ached as she asked, “Are you sure you are fine with me going back to Chicago?”

He slowly nodded as his eyes stayed locked with hers. “As long as you are home to welcome me back, then yeah, go, and let’s hope Rachel is being genuine.”

“I think she is,” she said softly with a shrug. “I’ll see right through her if she isn’t, though.”

“Good, be careful.”

“I will,” she promised, but she wished she didn’t have to make that simple promise. She wished that everyone would trust everyone. That all of them would be authentic and true, but that may not be the case. She wasn’t sure what she was walking into back in Chicago, but she prayed it wasn’t what Karson thought it was.

“K
ing!”

Karson’s head snapped up and toward the direction from which Coach Baxter was yelling his name. Coach stood in all his seven-foot glory with his bushy eyebrows touching and his lips in a straight line. Everyone looked back at Karson before smirking like a bunch of assholes.

“My office, now!”

When he turned to enter his office, Karson’s stomach sank. Had he done something wrong? Had he been playing shitty and not realizing it because his head was flooded with thoughts of Lacey calling and saying she was staying in Chicago for good? He knew that he was overreacting and probably being a dumbass, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she would, no matter how many times she promised she’d be home before him. It worried him, but he needed to leave his personal shit at the door. When his skates hit the ice, that’s all that mattered—his game.

But even knowing that, all he could think about was how happy she sounded on the phone when he spoke to her that morning. She was all chipper and excited to get out. They were going shopping, she and Rachel, and even though Rachel was all happy-go-lucky, saying hi to him on the phone, he didn’t trust her. Something just wasn’t right. You don’t go from wanting to throw your friendship away with someone because of their choices in life to accepting everything and acting as if things weren’t rough for a month.

It just didn’t work that way, but Rachel was the bestest friend in the world now and was spoiling Lacey with a trip to Michigan Ave. Was Karson jealous? More than he would ever admit, but it was deeper than that. He was scared too. In his head, he kept hearing the words:

“I’ve decided to stay in Chicago.”

Yeah, it was pathetic, and even his mom said he was being an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. He even talked to JT about it, but he wouldn’t even listen to Karson. He called him a dumbass and walked away. It was so frustrating because he felt like shit, and he didn’t want to feel like that. He wanted to trust that Lacey would leave and come back. He didn’t want to have the need to piss on her, marking his territory so that no one would want her. He wanted to just know, and he knew it was pitiful to feel that way, but he did. And obviously, it was affecting his game.

Kicking off his skates, he stood, his stomach dropping to the ground as JT called out, “Ha, King’s in trouble again.”

“He’s always in trouble,” Titov teased.

“That’s why we call the laps
King’s Dozen
,” Shea laughed, but Karson didn’t find any of it funny.

“Fuck off, guys,” he muttered as he pulled his sweatpants up before walking toward the office.

“Aw, someone’s emotional,” Brooks called out, getting a good round of laughs.

“He always is,” JT laughed. “Biggest puss I know.”

“Fucking assholes,” Karson said before entering Coach’s office. Coach looked up and then said, “Call Adler in here too.”

Oh, fucking hell
, Karson thought as he popped his head out. “Adler, Coach wants to see you too.”

Unlike they had with Karson, the room went silent as Shea stood and came toward the office in only his boxers. He really didn’t care for clothes—it was kind of disturbing, but no one ever said anything to him. Passing by Karson, he entered with an ease that only the captain of the team would have before lowering himself into the chair beside Karson’s.

“What’s up, Coach?”

Karson sat down in the chair as Coach said, “Meet your new linemate.”

“What?” Karson asked, shocked, but Shea wore a look of ease as he nodded.

“Sounds good to me,” he said, but Karson wasn’t sure he’d heard him right.

He had sucked lately. Too consumed in Lacey to care about anything else, but Coach was putting him on the first line with Shea fucking Adler? What the hell?

“Me? His linemate?”

Coach looked at him like he was stupid. “That’s what I said. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No,” Karson said, shaking his head. “But haven’t I been sucking?”

Adler chuckled as Coach looked at him, deadpan. “If I thought you sucked, why would I put you on my first line with my best defensemen? Obviously I think you are up to playing with Adler, or I wouldn’t have put you there. Now I’m not going to sit here and suck your dick with praises. You’re playing with Adler tonight, and if you mess up, I’m dropping you to the fourth line. Now get the hell out of my office,” he snapped before turning to his computer, dismissing them.

Standing up, Karson said, “Thanks, Coach.”

But he ignored him as they left the office, and Karson knew he should feel on top of the world and a part of him did, but the pressure was palpable.

“Hope you’re ready,” Shea called as he walked past him.

“No pressure at all,” Karson muttered as Adler laughed before reaching for his jeans to put them on.

Karson walked by him and dropped himself down on the bench, still really not getting what just happened. While he knew that Jakob Titov was out and he knew the spot was open, he never thought he would be the one to move up. He wanted it. More than anything, but he really didn’t think it was his position to take.

Apparently, he was wrong.

“What happened? You grounded?” JT asked as he dried his balls.

Redirecting his gaze with a grunt of annoyance, Karson said, “I’m playing with Adler tonight.”

“No shit!” JT hollered, smacking Karson on the shoulder. “Moving on up, to the east side,” he started to sing, but it was cut off when someone threw a roll of tape at him.

“Shut up, Thomas,” Channing Alexander yelled. He was the newly acquired forward that Elli had brought in from the Bruins. Good guy, bit of an asshole though. Plus his name was a mouthful, so everyone called him Chan. “Your singing sucks.”

“That’s not what your girl said last night,” JT called back. “When I was pounding into her, she was singing right along with me.”

Some guys snickered as Karson shook his head, a grin pulling at his mouth. Chan was an asshole, but JT was the king of all assholes.

“Whatever, dude, she wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole,” Chan called back, glaring.

“That’s what you think, but my dick puts Shea’s stick to shame,” JT said before giving everyone a full view of his dick. Groans filled the locker room as JT spun his dick in circles for everyone.

“For fuck’s sake,” Karson said, turning so he wouldn’t have to see all that.

This was his life.