Kya & Xavier: It's Always Been You (Life As We Know It Book 1) (19 page)

Xavier Lee

“
What are you
doing here?” I asked as soon as I saw him standing there in front of me.

“We need to talk.”

“You might need to talk but I don’t
have anything to say to you.”

“How about you just shout your damn
mouth and listen then.”

“I’m not a kid anymore so that
doesn’t work and there’s nothing that you can say to me that I want to hear?”

“There you go pretending to be a man
again.” Johnny said sarcastically with a half laugh.

“I’m out.” I said and turned to open
by door but he spoke again.

“So you got everything all figured
out then, huh?”

“What’s to figure out? You’re a drunk
and abusive asshole. I don’t give a damn about anything you have to say and
since I don’t need anything from you, this is waste of your time which I really
don’t give a shit about so more importantly a waste of my time to.”

“Talking tough doesn’t make you
tough. If you’re really a man then you should be able to have a real
conversation with me.”

“That alcohol must really be
affecting your ability to process simple things because we’ve had this
conversation too many time before. I told you, I’m more of a man than you’ll
ever be so what could you possibly have to say that’s worth me listening?”

He laughed arrogantly before he said,
“I'm not drunk little boy. I know you think that you’ve got it all figured out but
you don’t know a damn thing about me or what I’ve done for you.” He was clearly
annoyed by the way that I was dismissing him but I really couldn’t have cared
less.

“I know you.” I paused for a brief
second “Johnny.” I called him by name to be clear about the lack of respect I
had for him. “Trust me I know you. I just don’t care anything about you and
that’s on you because every time you picked up a bottle, and put your hands on
me and even worse my mother I lost respect for you and the ability to give a
shit about you. Only a coward hits women and children and that’s who you are.
Trust me I know you. Johnny!”

“You look at me with so much hate
while you think your mother was so perfect. You have no…”

I cut him off before he could finish,
“Don’t talk about my mother. She might not have been perfect but she was a hell
of a lot better than you have ever been.”

“You think so huh. You wanna talk
truths. How about this for truth, you know why I tried to take control of your
sisters account? It’s because I deserve it. Your mother owed me at least that
much after all these years. I might not have been perfect but I never asked her
to raise a child that wasn’t hers sad to say I can’t say the same for her.”

I could feel my body tensing up and
my temple was throbbing. “What the hell are you talking about?” I yelled. I was
reaching my boiling point with him.

“What I’m talking about is the fact
that you’re not mine.” He said presumptuously. “You’re a bastard child. Your
own father didn’t want you, neither did I but I raised you anyway and you were
too ungrateful to appreciate that. I guess that’s why it was so easy for me to
put my hands on you. Every time I looked at your face I was reminded that your
mother had another man’s bastard child and begged me to raise it. How’s that
for perfect.” He said with the most superior egotistical look on his face.

A surge of rage went through me which
made me clinch my fist and swing. I landed a solid blow right into his jaw so
hard that he stumbled back, grabbed his face and then laughed. “If I didn’t
know any better I’d swear you were mine, you’re more like me you think.”

“Xavier.” I turned to see Kya
standing at the rear of my Jeep with a terrified look on her face.

“You got your hands full with this
one.” Johnny looked at Kya and then laughed. He walked back to his car rubbing
his face, got in and within a matter of seconds he was gone.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Let’s go.” I wasn’t ready to have
this conversation with her right now. I needed to figure out what the hell was
going on myself before I could even begin to try and explain it to her.

The drive back to the dorms seemed to
take forever. My mind was all over the place and I couldn’t slow it down. I had
to figure out what was going on but I had no idea where to start. I didn’t care
if it was true, I just needed to know. I pulled up at the dorm, turned the Jeep
off and then sat there for a minute. I could feel Kya watching me and I knew I
needed to try and explain but I didn’t know what to explain.

“So do you want to tell me what that
was all about?” She asked.

I sat there for a minute trying to
figure out how to explain what I didn’t even understand. “He’s not my father.”

“What?” Kya asked sounding confused.

“He’s not my father.”

“I heard you, I just don’t get it?” She
turned her back towards the door and lifted her leg up under her and then sat
on it.

“He told me that my mother…” I
couldn’t even say it. “He’s not my father.”

“Do you believe him?” She asked
looking at me softly I could tell she wanted to help.

“I swear I hope it’s true. It would
make my life a lot easier.” I stared at my windshield I didn’t know why but I
couldn’t look at her.

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Call your aunt, wouldn’t she know?”
Kya asked.

I had already thought about that but
it was late and I didn’t know if I wanted to deal with this right now.

“Maybe tomorrow.” I said and opened
the door to get out. I needed to process everything and that wasn't going to
happen tonight.

Chapter 14

Kya Renee

“Lay down I’ll go.” I said after
Xavier tried to lift himself off of his bed. I could tell he was in pain so I
volunteered to go to the lobby to meet the delivery guy with our pizza.

“You sure.” He asked.

“Yeah I got it.” I said and smiled.
He reached in the pocket of his sweat pants, pulled his wallet out and tossed
it to me.

“Aye time to shop.” I said playfully.

“You could do just about anything you
wanted right now and I don’t think I would have the ability to stop you.” He
said and grabbed his side.

“You might not want to tell me that.”
I said and smiled.

“I trust you.”

“You better. I’ll be right back.”

I left the room and decided to take
the stairs since they were right there instead of walking down the hall to the
elevator. As soon as I opened the door I heard someone talking and then I heard
a door open and close followed by footsteps coming from the floor above me. I
started down the stairs and could tell that the person who had just entered the
stairwell was jogging down the stairs based on the rhythm of their feet as they
hit the stairs so before I reached the bottom floor they caught up with me.

“Well look who it is.” He said when
he realized who I was. “Ms. Kya Grant. You must be hanging in there with Mr.
complicated.” It was the guy from the party.

“We’re a little less complicated
now.” I said and smiled politely attempting not to let on how uneasy I felt
about being alone in the stairwell with him.

“I figured that when I didn’t hear
from you.” He said “I’ve been seeing you around here and at the games lately.
Wth, are you stalking me?

I didn’t know why but that felt
creepy to me which made me move faster to get out away from being alone with
him in that stairwell. He seemed harmless but you never know with people these
days. When I reached the door that opened into the hallway leading to the lobby
he jumped ahead of me and pulled it open for me but he touched my back as I
walked through it which made me extremely uneasy.

“I know you’re a little less complicated
now but you can still call me.” He said “Nothing wrong with making new
friends.”

“Sure.” I lied. I had no intention of
calling him and if Xavier knew that this guy put his hand on me he would likely
not want to get anywhere near me ever again any way, Xavier would make sure of
that.

“I’m going to hold you to that?” He said
and walked with me to the lobby.

“What up Kya.” Thank goodness Chaz was
in the lobby with some friends. I walked over and hugged him mostly because I
needed to shake the creepy feeling that my stalker had given me. “Picking up
pizza.” I pointed to the security desk where the delivery man was standing.

“I just ate but you know me. I’ll
never back down from a free offer.” He said and smiled. Mr. uncomplicated found
his way to one of the lounge chairs and was watching me with Chaz but I don’t
think Chaz paid him any attention.

“I’m probably not going to eat that
much so I’m sure there will be some left. “ I said and smiled. “You coming up
now?”

“Nah I’m heading out.”
Dang it, you need to walk me back upstairs.

“Alright. I’ll see you later.” I said
and then walked over the delivery guy and paid. I shoved Xavier’s wallet in my
back pocket so that I could hold the pizza box along with the two liter that he
left on the counter. I looked around the lobby to see if my stalker was still
there before I headed towards the elevator. I didn’t want to risk getting stuck
in the stairwell with him again. Two other guys who I recognized form Xavier’s
floor also got on with me so I felt a little better.

When I got to the room I pushed the
door open with my foot since it wasn’t closed all the way and sat the pizza and
soda on the counter. I took two cups out of the cabinet and filled one of them
with ice and also got one of Xavier's ice packs. I balanced the cups, and ice
pack on top of the pizza box before I picked up the two liter with my free hand
and then walked into the bedroom. Xavier was in the same place that I had left
him stretched out with on leg hanging off the side planted on the floor. He was
focused on the TV.

I sat the box on his desk, picked up
the ice pack before I sat down next to him and then lifted his shirt to look at
his injury. I couldn’t really see much from the light from his desk lamp so I
stood up flipped the switch on the wall and then sat down and checked again.

“I think it’s bruised.” I inspected
his ribs and gently poked at the injured area.

“Do worry, that doesn't hurt.” He
said sarcastically and then smiled.

“Ha ha funny. Here.” I placed the
icepack on what I assumed was the bruised area but Xavier jumped and pushed it
off making it fall onto he bed next to him.

“Damn that’s cold.”

“It’s an icepack genius. Leave it on
there.” I said and repositioned the icepack again this time holding it in place
so he left it there but inhaled deeply and then released it.

“So does this mean we’re playing
doctor?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

“This means you’re going to lay here
and do nothing.”

“I’m creative, I can figure out how
to let you do all the work.”

“Please stop.” I said and then
pressed down on the icepack which made him flinch a little.

“No love and I’m hurt and
everything.”

“Exactly, glad we agree.”

“That is not what I meant.” He said
and frowned at me.

“Sucks for you then.”

I climbed over him careful not to put
any pressure on his injured side and then laid down next to him. I laid my arm
across his chest and placed my hand on top of the icepack to make sure it
stayed put and he placed his hand on top of mine.

“You okay?” I asked talking more
about everything else that had gone on tonight with Johnny.

“Yeah.” He said.

I was laying on his shoulder with his
arm behind my back so he pulled me closer and then kissed my forehead which was
his way of asking me to let it go, so I did.

Xavier Lee

 
I woke up early if you can even call what I
did the night before sleeping since all I really remember doing is lying there
in the dark listening to Ky breathing. No matter how hard I tried, I could not
get Johnny’s words out of my head. “You’re not mine.” My mind was all over the
place with a million questions forming that I needed answers to. I kept
obsessing over what he said as if the more I repeated it the more clarity that
I would have. He spoke so confidently like it was going to hurt me that I had
no connection to him when honestly I was praying that it was true. Knowing
would have been the best thing that he had ever done for me.

The only thing that made me feel
anything about it at all was that I might have actually missed out on having a
normal father son relationship with someone. I've never been one of those that
would fall apart if my parents got divorced nor was I the kid who cried at
night because ‘dad wouldn't play catch’ but it was just natural to miss having
a father that I could look up to or count on. My father son memories were all
about fear, bruises and broken bones. Kya was still asleep so I decided to call
my aunt even though it was early. I knew that she would be up like she always
was on Saturday mornings washing clothes and cleaning.

“Hey baby, what are you doing up so
early?” She said cheerfully after she heard my voice.

“Just had a lot on my mind.”

“Sounds like it.” She said sounding
concerned.

“I think I might come home today.” I
said after hearing her voice I decided that this was a conversation that I
wanted to have face to face.

“Xavier baby are you okay?” I could
tell that she was worried.

“I'm good, I just need to get away.
I'll see you on a couple of hours.”

“Okay, you be careful. Leigh stayed over
at Bri’s house last night but I'm sure she'll be here soon. She'll be excited
to see you. We both will.” She said trying her best to hide her concern.

“I will, I love you.” I hated making
her worry but I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone so it
would just have to wait.

I placed my phone on my desk and
decided to shower and get dressed since there was no chance in me going back to
sleep and Kya was still knocked out, besides it would give me time to think. I
needed to clear my head.

“How long have you been up?” Kya
asked when I opened my bathroom door. I placed the towel that I was using to
dry my hair around my shoulders and then sat down at my desk.

“A little while.”

“Why didn't you wake me up?” She was
sitting India style in the center of my bed looking at her phone. She had her
hair pulled up into two ponytails, one on each side of her head which made her
look like a little kid.

“I tried but you swung at me.” I said
then pretended to air box an invisible opponent.

“I did not.” She said and the frowned
at me.

“You did, I swear.”

“Whatever punk.”

“You have plans today?”

“Not really why?”

“I was thinking about going home.”

She gave me a concerned look,
“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just want to talk to my aunt
and I don't think I want to do it over the phone.”

She crawled to the edge of the bed,
stood up and then walked over and sat on my lap. “About last night?”

“Yeah.” I laid my hand on her thigh
and glided it across her skin which made her shiver a little.

“Okay.” She said and then pecked my
lips. “I need to go change and get my books. I can study on the way.”

“Alright let me get dressed then we
can swing by your dorm and then head out.”

She jumped up. “I'm hungry, what's in your fridge?”

“I have no idea. You how Chaz rolls.
Probably nothing.”

“I going to check.” She said and
smiled.

“You better put some pants on first.”
I said and looked at her like she had lost her mind standing there in one of my
t-shirts with nothing under it. She knew I didn't play around like that. My
boys and I were close but not that damn close.

“I know that smart one.” She said and
then rolled her eyes at me. I hope you know me better than that.”

“Just saying.” I grabbed her hand to
pull her back towards me and then held on to the back of her thighs while she
stood in front of me. “This right here, is for my eyes and hands only.”

She pulled away and then picked up
her jeans off the floor from last night. “Maybe.” She said and then stuck her
tongue out at me.

“Keep playing.” I said and then stood
up.

“Who says I'm playing.” She said and
then opened my door.

“You better be.” I yelled as she disappeared
into our living room.

---------

Two hours later we were in my jeep
about ten minutes from my aunt’s condo. Ky had fallen asleep after attempting to
read a dissertation for her Psychology class. She tried reading it out loud to
me but gave up when I kept interrupting her with silly questions about it and
after trying to suffer through it quietly on her own her eyes eventually closed
while her head gently tilted towards the passenger side window.

When I pulled up along the curb at my
aunt’s house and turned off my jeep Ky’s eyes popped open and she turned my way
with a confused look on her face. She yawned and then stretched.

“We're here already.”

I laughed “Already?”

“I guess I wasn't much company.” She
said as she leaned over to put on the Toms that she kicked off before we even
pulled out of the parking lot of her dorm.

“Forever alone.” I teased.

“That’s why love me.” She smiled.

“Maybe.”

“Good try but that only works when I
do it.”

We both got out, walked up the front steps
to get to the front door. I was behind Kya who was dressed in dark gray
leggings which fit in all the right places and a matching red and gray sweater
that was pulling my mind completely away from what I was here to do. When we
reached the front door I stood close behind her and pressed my body firmly
against hers.

“How about we go see if my room looks
the same.” I said and then kisses her on the neck.

“That's definitely not happening in
the middle of the day with your aunt and sister in the house.”

“Don't act like you haven't been down
before.” I said and then reached around her to check the door to see if it was
unlocked, which it was. She elbowed me
 
forgetting about my injury so when I flinched
she turned her head and frowned, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” She said and then
touched my side before we stepped inside.

”Leigh jumped up off the sofa, ran up
to Kya and wrapped her long thin arms around her.

“Well hello to you too.” I said to my
little sister.

She let go of Ky and the grinned at
me before initiating a bear hug. “I missed you too.” She said

“I sure can't tell” I said and then
swiped my hand across the fluffy ponytail she was sporting.

She grabbed Kya’s hand and led her to the living room and the
two of them ignored me as they began a session of girl talk.

“Where's auntie.” I looked at Leigh who
was clearly more interested in Kya than me at the moment.

“She's upstairs in her room. Folding
clothes I think.” She said without even stopping to look at me so I made my way
around the corner and up the stairs towards my aunt’s room.

I knocked and then pushed the door
open where I found my aunt sitting in her red canvas arm hair surrounded by
piles of towels and two large rectangular whicker laundry baskets.

“Hey baby, did you just get here.”
She said and then smiled.

I stepped inside, walked over to her
leaned down and gave her a hug before I kissed her cheek.

“Yes ma'am, we just got here.”

“We, did you bring someone with you?”

“Yes ma'am Kya is downstairs with
Leigh.”

“That’s nice. Looks like you guys are
doing well.”

“We are.” I didn't want to talk about
Kya though so I decided to jump right in “I saw Johnny last night.”

“Where?” She asked with a concerned
look.

“He came to my game.”

“How did that go?”

“You already know how it went. He
told me what an ungrateful fuck up I was.”

“Xavier.” She said sternly with a
disapproving stare because of my language.

“Sorry.”

“mmhmm.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure anything.” She said and smiled
softly.

“Is he…” I paused not really sure why.

“Is he what Xavier?”

“Is he really my father?”

The look on her face gave me the
answer that I was looking for but she spoke anyway. “Why would you ask that?”
She asked softly.

“He told me he wasn't.”

“He raised you but no baby, he's not
your father.”

“Why didn't my mother tell me?”

“It’s complicated and your mother struggled
with that decision for a long time but she felt like she was doing the best
thing for you. Your father didn't want anything to do with your mother after he
found out about you so she did the only thing she could do and stayed with
Johnny. He took her back and raised you as his own.”

“She cheated on him?” I asked trying
to piece it all together

“It’s not that simple. My brother
isn't the easiest person to deal with. They got married young and he just
couldn't figure out how to be a husband. Your mother loved him so much that she
really thought that she could save him from himself but he drank all the time
and moved around from woman to woman and it broke her. I blame our father for
that, Johnny learned from him and it’s all he knew. When your mother decided
that he would never change she made up her mind to leave and she did. She met
your father who was in college at the time. He was a ball player just like you and
he thought the world of Victoria; your mother fell fast and hard.”

My aunt looked at me and smiled
before she continued.

“She didn't tell him that she was
married and when he found out on top of the fact that she was pregnant with you
he just couldn't handle it. So she came back and my brother and well he never
really forgave her. No matter how many women he had been with he just couldn't
get over the fact that your mother loved another man and had his baby. He tried
to beat you out of her but you hung in there and I suppose that's why he was
such a monster to you all of your life. You reminded him that he was never man
enough to have your mother’s heart. I loved your mother and I tried to get her
to leave him so many times but she never would and after Leigh was born she
gave up. She drank to escape and eventually she finally did, God bless her
soul.”

I stared at my aunt trying to figure
out which emotion was stronger, the relief I felt knowing that I was not a part
of him, the hatred I felt for the years he abused me and my mother, or the
disappointment I felt knowing that my father gave up and let us go. I had a
crushing feeling in my chest and it made me feel weak. My emotions never really
controlled me but right now they consumed me and it just made me feel weak.

“Do you know him?”

“Your father?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

She stood up, walked to her closet
and then a few minutes later handed me an envelope.

I opened it and looked inside and
found a photo of a guy with his arms around a much younger, happier version of
my mother. I felt like I was looking at a picture of myself when I stared at
his face and my mother looked so comfortable and free. There was I smile on her
face that I rarely ever saw but faintly remembered. I also found a letter
inside that she had written to my father confessing her love and apologizing
for not telling him about her past and begging him to give her another chance.

“She never gave it to him.” My aunt
said “I wish she would have. Maybe things would have been different.”

There were also deposit slips with
large amounts of cash with my aunt’s name on them. I held them up as if
requesting an explanation.

“He took care of you financially but
he eventually got married and had a family of his own so he always paid in cash
which I deposited for your mother so that my brother wouldn't know. It's how
she was able to pay for the policy that she left for you and Leigh.

I just sat there silently. Everything
I knew about my life was a lie and I wasn't sure what to do with that. I needed
time to figure that out.