Kung Fooey (6 page)

Stella bent down so we were nose to nose. “How about right here, Stump?”

Never fight with a skunk, Ledward once told me. Even if you win you still come out smelling bad. I stepped back.

Stella poked me with her finger. “Smart move, Shrimp.”

“Watch it,” I said. “I know kung fu.”

“What?”

“Oh, sorry. For you it would be kung fooey.” I grinned and headed into the house.

One good thing about me is I get over stuff quick.

Except for stuff like skulls in lava tubes, and getting eaten by rats, and
obake
who put boulders in your road. That kind of stuff gives me nightmares.

And that night, thanks to Benny Obi, I had nightmares.

The next morning my sheets were twisted around my legs. My pillow was on the floor and Streak was sleeping on it. I peeked over at my clock. Only 5:48. I rolled onto my side and looked out the window. No boulders in the driveway or out on the street.

Dang Benny. He was so weird.

And he got weirder.

A
s usual, I walked to school with Darci, Julio, and Willy. Maya rode ahead on her skateboard. Some days she rode it slowly so we could keep up with her. But this day she wanted speed.

“Just think,” Julio said, slapping my back as
we walked. “In a few weeks Stella can drive you to school.”

I nearly choked. This could actually be true! “But … but … she doesn’t have a car.”

Julio grinned. “Yet.”

The thought of being in a car with Stella at the wheel made me cringe. I could see us getting from our house to school in about three minutes, garbage cans and mailboxes lying in the streets behind us.

The second we walked into the schoolyard, Willy tapped my arm. “Check it out. Something’s going on.”

A pack of kids were bunched up over by the cafeteria. The kids in back were jumping to see over the ones in front. Looked like the entire fourth grade was there.

“Let’s go!” I said.

We all ran over, except for Darci, who headed to her classroom.

“Ahhh!” somebody gasped.

“Eeew!”

“Gross!”

Willy, Julio, and I pushed and shoved our way to the front. Facing us … was Benny Obi.

“What’s going on?” I asked Ace, who sat a couple rows behind me in Mr. Purdy’s class.

“Benny’s eating bugs.”

“What?”

“Sick,” Julio said, his eyes bulging.

When Benny saw us, he held up a box about the size of a deck of cards. The label on it read L
ARVETS
. “Dried worms,” he said.

Ick.

Benny grinned and read the print on the box. “ ‘Real edible worms! Original snacks in barbecue sauce, cheddar cheese, and Mexican spice. Flavored for your eating pleasure. Savor the crunch!’ ”

Savor the crunch? Gotta be kidding.

He took one out. It looked like a small French fry.

But it was a worm. Dried-out and stiff.

Benny put it in his mouth and made it crunch loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Aww, man!” someone said.

Someone else made a gakking sound.

“You’re going to get sick, new kid!”

“That’s so gross!”

Benny crunched louder, then swallowed and smacked his lips. Man, he was as weird as a caged mongoose.

“Got something else, too,” he said. “Check it out.”

He put the box of Larvets in his baggy pants pocket and took out another one.

“Crick-Ettes,” he said, and read the label. “ ‘Real edible crickets! Original snacks in salt and vinegar, bacon and cheddar cheese, and sour cream and onion seasoning.’ Yum!”

Maya squeezed in next to us. “What’s going on?”

“Benny’s eating bugs.”

“Serious?”

“Worms and crickets … so far.”

Benny held up a dried cricket for Maya to see. “Tasty treats,” he said, and dropped it in his mouth.

Crunch
.

Maya stared at him. “You know what, Benny? There’s something wrong with you. Seriously. People don’t eat bugs.”

“What do you mean?” Benny said, sticking his fingers into the box for another cricket. “People eat bugs all over the world. Bugs have nutrients. Here, try one.”

He held out a cricket to Maya.

Maya jumped back. The cricket looked like some dead old dried-up bug you’d find under your bed or in your closet. “Get that out of my face!”

Benny tossed it into his mouth.

Snap! Crunch!

I nudged Julio with my elbow. “All day sitting next to him, you’re going to smell bug breath.”

Julio scowled. “If I do, I’ll … I’ll …”

I cracked up.

“Shuddup.”

I laughed harder.

The bell rang and the crowd broke up.

Benny stuffed the box of Crick-Ettes back into his baggy pants and patted his pocket. “Recess time,” he said, looking at me, Willy, and Julio, “I got something even better to show you.”

“Can’t wait,” Julio mumbled.

All morning Mr. Purdy went on about some old civilization in Mexico. But I was only half listening because I was in the front row. Which meant I was close to Mr. Purdy’s desk. And on Mr. Purdy’s desk was our class pet, Manly Stanley, the centipede—a bug.

“Watch your back, Manly,” I whispered. “Benny’s eating bugs today.”

Manly looked up. Huh?

“Mr. Coconut?”

“Uh … yeah?”

Mr. Purdy gave me the pay-attention-or-die teacher look. “Am I boring you this morning?”

“Ah, no, Mr. Purdy. I’m listening.”

“Huh,” Mr. Purdy said. “Could have fooled me.”

“You were talking about … Mexico?”

Mr. Purdy studied me, shook his head, then turned back to the class. Lucky I at least caught that one word. The day had just started and already Benny Obi was getting me in trouble.

After lunch, all the guys in our class went out on the field with Benny. He had more stuff in his baggy pants pockets.

The girls stayed away. Benny’s bugs were too gross for them.

“Check this out,” Benny said as we crowded around him.

He looked up over our heads, like he was
making sure no teachers were around. I looked up, too. Was he going to do something that might
really
get us into trouble?

Benny pulled another small box out of his deep-pocket pants. He kept the label covered so we couldn’t see it.