Authors: Mariana Zapata
“
W
here’s Coach Kulti
?”
“He’s taking time off for the rest of the season,” Gardner answered before walking off.
I stretched my arms up over my head to really get a good stretch into those shoulder muscles always nagging me. All the while pretending like I didn’t hear the group talking twenty feet away.
“He’s been here all season, and
now
he’s decided to take time off?”
“I’m not surprised.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Really?”
“I bet Sal knows what’s going on.”
“Duh, she knows. I’m sure they spent last night together.”
A couple of my teammates giggle-laughed. Whores.
“You know, I heard she went by Cordero’s office and he gave her an ultimatum: Stop seeing him or he’d trade her.”
“No way! What’d she say?”
“Oh, I have no idea, but I think that’s why they were planning on benching her in the semi-final the other night. If that would have been me, and they told me I wasn’t starting, I don’t even know what I would’ve done. But not Sal, she just stood there. I didn’t see her bat an eyelash.”
“No shit. She’s never upset; I don’t think she feels anything. I know I’ve never seen her cry.”
Yep, still not looking.
“Me neither. Her entire life revolves around playing. She’s a robot or something.”
And that was my cue to zone the group out. To zone every single girl I’d at one point or another helped, including Genevieve.
A robot. They thought I was a robot.
I took a breath.
Everything was fine.
I only had one more game to go. That was it. Five more practices to get through before the season was over.
What was that saying? When life gives you lemons, go to a taco stand.
W
hen I pulled
into the driveway that day, there was a mountain bike off to the side, and next to it was the German. The Audi was nowhere in sight.
“I didn’t know you were here,” I said, getting out. “I took a yoga class at the gym already; otherwise I would have come home and made you do some with me.” I wasn’t even joking either. His butt in downward dog… God help me. It seemed to be one of the only things that could cheer me up lately.
Kulti dusted off said bubble butt as he got to his feet. “I’ve only been here an hour.”
From anyone else, the comment would have sounded like he was impatient, but he didn’t look anxious at all. “Did you ride your bike all the way over?” I asked, eyeing the black mountain bike I’d never seen before.
“Yes,” he said, taking my bag from me. “I bought it this morning.”
I followed him up the stairs and handed him the keys to open the door. He left my bag in the exact same place I usually had it and set my dad’s hat on the appropriate hook. My dad had said I wasn’t allowed to ever wash that damn Corona hat.
“I’m going to hop in the shower. I’ll be back out soon.”
In no time, I was in and out. By the time I made it back, he was on the couch watching television. I grabbed a protein bar and took a seat on the other end.
Kulti tilted his head and raked his gaze from my face down, down, down to land on the white tank top I’d put on over a clean sports bra, and then kept right on burning a visual path to my thighs. He took a quick breath I almost missed. Those amber eyes slid back up to my face.
“What is it?” I scrunched up my face, expecting the worst.
“Do those freckles go everywhere?”
He was talking about the freckles on my chest and my stupid, stupid nipples reacted as if he were calling them to attention. “Umm…”
A tendon in his neck flexed, and Kulti gave me what could have been considered a grimace. “I’ll behave.” A shaky sigh made its way out of his chest and reached straight into mine. “I need to tell you what my lawyer said.”
“Is it bad news?” With my luck lately, I shouldn’t expect any different.
“No. She looked over your contract, drew up our own, and she’ll be sending that to Cordero tomorrow with a check to buy you out.”
There were so many keywords in one sentence. Leaving the Pipers was really happening. Jesus Christ. “That’s all?”
“Yes.”
It would all be over soon. The reminder that Kulti was paying to get me out of the Pipers made my stomach feel just the slightest bit weird. It was happening. Oh man. “I—“
“Don’t say anything about your contract.” He shot me an even look. “I had no idea how much it was worth, and frankly, it was insulting once she told me the number.”
To him it would seem like chump change. Well, to most professional athletes it would definitely seem like nothing. What could you do? I enjoyed playing, and I made ends meet with what I did with Marc. It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t need a luxury car, a massive house or name-brand things to make me happy. But it was the thing he said about how I would do it for him if the tables were turned, that kept me from kicking up a huge stink. He was right. I would buy him out if he were in my shoes, so I wasn’t going to be a huge hypocrite about it. Maybe I could pay him back somehow later on.
“Has your agent heard back from any of the teams?” he wanted to know.
I shook my head. “No. She told me to be patient. Chances are, I won’t get any offers until the season is over, so we’ll see.” I gave him a brave smile that I only partially felt. “I’m going to try not to worry about it. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If not, then… I’ll figure something out. This isn’t the end of the world.”
“It isn’t,” he agreed.
I sighed and decided to change the subject. “Everyone was asking where you were today.”
Kulti snickered. “I was very disappointed not to be there,” he deadpanned, which made me laugh.
“Yeah, right. What did you do instead?”
“I bought my bike and went for a long ride,” Kulti explained.
He triggered my memory, and I suddenly remembered what I’d been meaning to ask. “Hey I kept forgetting to bring it up, but where did you go those two days you missed practice? When I texted you and you didn’t respond. Thank you for that, by the way.”
“I was home.” Kulti glanced up at the ceiling.
“So you were just ignoring my text messages?” The fact he didn’t even try and bullshit me made me respect him a little more.
He lowered his gaze to side-eye me. “I was furious with you.”
If I remembered correctly, I’d done the same thing when I’d been angry with him for being weird in front of Franz and Alejandro. Bah. I reached over and patted his knee. “Well like I told you in my text, I’m sorry for what I said that day. I was frustrated, and I didn’t mean it.”
“I know that now.” He blinked. “You aren’t a quitter, and I wouldn’t let you give up anyway.”
Talking about those nearly back-to-back conversations made my eye twitch. “Don’t be a dick and accuse me of sleeping with your friend then.”
Kulti made a face that was almost remorseful. Almost. “I was… agitated. I didn’t like the idea of you spending time with him in secret. It bothered me.”
I’m not sure why it took me so long to understand what had upset him, why Franz and I practicing bothered him so much. Was this real? If he wasn’t full of crap about what he was saying, a lot of things finally made sense. Why he was so adamant about us not going on dates with other people when Sheena had suggested. The face he made when I’d told him about my ex.
“I don’t like the idea of you being with another man.”
I will not smile. I will not smile.
“I wouldn’t like the idea of you spending time with another woman and not telling me about it either.” There, I said it. I just went right out and said it. All right. I cleared my throat, bit both my lips at the same time and shrugged. “There isn’t anything wrong with that. I thought you were just being an asshole about Franz. I sure as hell don’t like thinking about you being with other women, or even being reminded of your ex-wife, if I’m even allowed to say that. I know I don’t look like the women you’re usually interested in, or dress like the women you used to date, but you know that and you’re still here. That has to count for something,” I told him honestly.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he claimed.
“You can say that all you want, but you told me that you are the way you are and you’re never going to change, so I’m going to tell you the same thing. I am the way I am, and I’m never going to change either. I wasn’t built for a whole bunch of drama, Rey. Everything going on right now, this is it. I’m maxed out. I want a steady, stable life. When I commit to something, I’m in all the way. I don’t share, or even play around with the idea of infidelity. You’re my friend right now, but I don’t want something to happen that makes me want to move on with my life. I don’t want to be forced to pretend like these last few months haven’t happened. You mean too much to me.”
Maybe I was expecting him to get all smug about what I said, but he didn’t. Instead, that intense expression that usually lived on his face reached a different level. He gave me one of those stares that made the hairs on my arms stand up. “You say that as if there were anyone else in this world I would want. You have no idea what I feel for you.” He blinked and spat out something I never would have expected. “There is no gray area for me where you’re concerned. I don’t share, and I expect nothing less from you.”
I… what in the hell do you say to that? What? What could you possibly say? It was psycho sure, but it didn’t bother me. I’d been the teenager that drew mustaches on his ex-girlfriends’ faces for months when their pictures would come up in magazines I looked through.
I swallowed and stared at that lightly lined face, at his crow’s feet and the lines under his eyes. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. It was plain and simple.
“You never said or did anything to let me know you saw me as more than a friend,” I explained, making sure we were eye-to-eye.
The German didn’t look exactly appeased by my observation. He licked his lips and leaned back against the couch, eyeing me with an expression that was part aggravation and part something else. “What would you have done if I’d said something?”
The hell? “Not believed you.” Why would I? We’d been so hot and cold; I never understood what the hell was going through his head.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “That’s your reason. What would I gain from telling you the first moment I realized you were meant to be mine? Nothing. You’re supposed to protect what you love, Sal. You taught me that. I didn’t wake up one day and know I didn’t want to live without your horrible temper. I saw so much of me in you at first, but you aren’t like me at all. You’re you, and I will go to my grave before I let anyone change any part of you. I know that without a doubt in my mind.
This
,” he pointed between us. “This is what matters. You are my gift, my second chance, and I will cherish you and your dream. I will protect both of you.
“I’ve been waiting, and I will keep on waiting until the time is right. You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend. I’ve done so many stupid things that you’ve made me regret—things I hope you will forgive me for and look beyond— but
this
, waiting a little longer for the love of my life, I can do.
“You are the most honest, warm, loving person I know. Your loyalty and friendship amazes me every day. I have never wanted anything more in my life than I want your love, and I don’t want to share that with anyone. I haven’t done a single thing in my life to deserve you,
schnecke,
but I will never give up on you, and I won’t let you give up on me.”
And wasn’t that the shit of it?
Someone could tell you that they loved you every day, but still lie and cheat. Or they could never say those three words, but be there for you every day and be more than you ever wanted or dreamed. He wasn’t warm or cuddly, quiet or particularly nice to others, but he was nice to me, and in my heart I knew he would stand by me every time I needed him.
When he left a little later, I lay in my bed and cried two tears. That was it; because it all seemed too good to be true and there were things I hadn’t told him that could change how he felt about me.
What would I do if he changed his mind?
T
he Pipers
final game against the Ohio Blazers had finally arrived, and I had the jitters.
“You’re going to win, stop worrying.”
I blew out a loud breath from my side of the car. He’d offered to have his driver take us to the stadium that afternoon. He didn’t have to leave early, the doors didn’t open for at least another hour; but Kulti did what Kulti wanted to do and for some reason, he wanted to go at the same time I did.
You’re going to win.
I was so lucky someone cared about my career so much. Most girls could only wish to be this lucky.
That was the problem though.
As the days counted down toward the big final game, I became more and more nervous. Kulti hadn’t acted any differently. He hadn’t tried kissing me since that afternoon outside of my car. When he’d come over to my place, we’d do what we always did and in the middle of his visit, he’d ask me how practice went. Twice we went outside and volleyed the ball back and forth, but that had been it. Except for that one night when he said things to me I never could have dreamed up, he’d been the close-mouthed man I was used to spending time with. Before he’d left, he’d promised to give me time and space to think and focus on what was the most important: the final game.
I still couldn’t help but ask myself what was going to happen after the game.
What if I didn’t get on another team? What if I was injured today? What if I blew my knee out in the off-season? Or the next season?
What would I do then?
The logical part of me knew that I was freaking out about nothing. It wasn’t totally unusual. When I was anxious in situations like these, my mind made up a bunch of other crap to stress about too. Of course this thing between Kulti and I was at the top of my list.
It all weighed on my chest like a ticking time bomb.
What if.
What if.
What if.
He nudged my thigh playfully with the back of his balled up hand. “Stop worrying.”