Kris Jenner . . . And All Things Kardashian (36 page)

Khloé was going to have the wedding of a lifetime, and, of course, we would be able to capture it on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
.

Of course, the wedding featured the usual Kardashian chaos. During the pre-wedding prep, there was plenty of drama and absolute pandemonium, yet Khloé would actually send orders to me via her BlackBerry, even though she was usually standing right next to me. Kylie passed Khloé’s BlackBerry back and forth between us.

The ceremony itself is what I’ll always remember. I sat in the front row with Bruce. I was clutching Bruce’s hand, with my handkerchief ready. Lamar had the biggest smile on his face as Bruce walked Khloé down the aisle. Khloé was surrounded by her sisters, now her bridesmaids, all wearing gorgeous lavender Vera Wang dresses. Khloé looked so, so beautiful, and Bruce walked her
down the aisle and gave her away. It was one of the greatest moments of my life, watching my daughter get married to the man she loved. We will have these memories forever because of the show, which was the most-watched episode in the history of the network. Otherwise, we might not fully know what happened, because the nine-day wedding craziness was as chaotic as it was wonderful. It was fast and furious, but it was right—romantic and wonderful. If you had told me that I would be ecstatic about my daughter coming home and telling me she was getting married in nine days, I never would have believed you. But it has always been my dream for each of my daughters to get married and find happiness.

Finally, I could say that for at least one of them: Check!

K
ourtney, meanwhile, had had someone special in her life for quite a while: Scott. Scott had been courting Kourtney back when we started shooting Season One. I wasn’t sure about Scott. He was really handsome and really smooth, and he seemed like a little bit of a bad boy. I had had my share of bad boys myself, of course, so I knew one when I saw one. I wasn’t going to let this kid come in and take my precious Kourtney for a wild ride. If there was anything that I could do to protect her heart, I was going to do it. I wanted him to know that I was paying attention.

As I got to know Scott a little bit better, our relationship evolved. Now I adore him, but it was a rocky road in the very beginning. He was still a kid. He’s only twenty-six now, so when we started the show, he was more like twenty-two. A baby. I had some experience with twenty-two-year-old babies, and I think I might have taken that out a little bit on Scott. Looking at him, I thought,
Hmmm, this feels familiar.
I could not forget my experience with Ryan. But that wasn’t Scott’s fault.

Scott was also drinking then. His drinking culminated in an incident that was (of course) filmed in an episode of our show. The whole family had gone to Vegas for Kim’s birthday. We had really been looking forward to letting our hair down and just being together. Scott got drunk. I had business associates with us, and I decided to cut him off. He asked the waiter for more alcohol, and I told the waiter, “Don’t serve him. He’s gone way too far.” That really upset Scott, and he got so worked up that he shoved a $100 bill down the waiter’s throat, demanding to be served.

It was a powerful moment, both for the show and for our family, and a definite wake-up call for Kourtney. She knew Scott needed help. We wanted Scott to be okay. I don’t think that exactly came across in the show. But by that time, we had all fallen in love with Scott, and we didn’t want someone we loved to be in trouble or hurting. When I talked to him I said, “I love you and want you to be a part of our family, because I think you are really a good person deep down—and, by the way, my daughter is in love with you. So what can we do to make you the best Scott you can be?” We all reached out that way and made sure that he knew he was loved but that he had to get it together.

You will remember that my mother was in a similar situation at one point with my stepdad, Harry, whom I adored. My mom had to tell Harry that she wasn’t willing to be around him anymore until he cleaned up his act with alcohol. Suddenly, two generations later, Kourtney was facing the same dilemma. She loved Scott and wanted to give him another chance. She wanted to do everything she could to make the relationship work, and she wasn’t willing to walk away from him yet. I really admired her for that. Scott got it together; I haven’t seen him with a drink in over a year now.

L
ater that same year, we all went to Mexico on a vacation for Kourtney’s birthday, which was an annual tradition. All of Kourtney’s girlfriends were there with us. I remember looking at her while she was running around in her bikini and thinking,
If I didn’t know my daughter better, I would say she’s pregnant.
It wasn’t that she was even showing, it was that I just sensed it. I just knew instinctively. A few weeks later, she came into work at Smooch.

“Oh my God, Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant!” she said.

I was so, so happy for her! I knew that she was going to make an amazing mom, and I was so excited, because of course this was going to be our first grandchild.

I never imagined that Kourtney would be the first of my daughters to have a baby, because she was really the least enthusiastic about small children. We had a children’s store, and when people would come in with little kids, she got annoyed. She would say, “Ugh, they’re bringing their baby in our store.” I would say, “Well, we do have a kids’ store. It’s not really weird that somebody’s bringing her kid in here.” So seeing her so ecstatic about becoming a mother was great. She started reading every book she could get her hands on. I knew that Kourtney was going to be a great mom.

Kourtney started seeing the same OB/GYN, Paul Crane, who had delivered all six of my kids. Now he was going to deliver my first grandchild. The day Kourtney went into labor, we were all at my house, having a barbecue.

“Mom, I feel a little funny,” she said. “I think I’m going to go home.”

She went home to lie down and took Kylie and Kendall with her because she didn’t want to be alone. Scott was at the barbecue, too, but you know, guys are different. He stayed at the house for a few minutes and hung out with us until the girls called us from the
house and said, “I think we should go to the hospital.” Kourtney thought her water had broken!

The birth began like almost everything else Kardashian: a little crazy and a little chaotic, and with the cameras rolling. We actually shot footage of Kourtney’s water leaking in an episode of the show. Kendall and Kylie ran around, giddy, unable to contain themselves, while Scott took somewhat shaky footage of Kourtney preparing to leave for the hospital.

We were all crazy with excitement, but Kourtney seemed almost serene. She calmly put on her makeup and packed her bag. When they arrived at Cedars-Sinai, she even took a nap. Soon the rest of us arrived, me at midnight, then Khloé at 5:30 a.m., and Kim sometime afterward, her hair extensions only halfway in because she left in the middle of prepping for a photo shoot.

The hospital room was crowded but full of love. There were only supposed to be two family members in the room, so we had to get creative about where we stood. Kim peeked from the closet while the nurse checked Kourtney, and we all hid in various corners. Kourtney was in her hospital bed with a look of determination. The rest of us didn’t really know what to do with ourselves. I even caught myself practicing my Lamaze breathing.

When Dr. Crane told her to push, we were with her: Scott, Kim, Khloé, and me. Khloé was able to help hold Kourtney’s leg while she pushed, and I watched from the doorway as Kourtney’s tiny body folded up on itself and the baby’s little head appeared. Kim covered her mouth in amazement. We were all crying—everybody but Kourtney. She had a job to do. She was quiet, serious, working. Finally, Dr. Crane asked her if she wanted to pull the baby out. “Can I do that?” she asked. She was able to put her hands around the baby’s torso and tug, gently, and finally Mason Dash Disick was on her chest, crying softly.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. The miracle of birth never grows old and never ceases to completely amaze me. The birth of a baby can humble anyone. I watched Scott’s face and how he reacted to the entire experience, and I saw him in a way I had never seen him before.

Afterward, Kourtney told our producers that Mason’s birth was life-changing for her, the most amazing thing she had ever experienced. That’s exactly how I would have described her birth so many years before. Watching your baby have a baby—it’s one of those moments that makes life a miracle.

I’ve watched Kourtney become the most amazing mother in the world, totally devoted and dedicated to her baby on every level. She makes selfless decisions as she raises her baby, and doesn’t go anywhere without him, nor does she slow down for a second. When I suggested, “Why don’t you just take a couple of months off?” she wouldn’t hear me out. She was determined to get back to work, even with a baby strapped to her back. I think Mason’s first photo shoot was when he was maybe four days old.

Scott, meanwhile, turned around 180 degrees. He’s an amazing partner, an amazing dad, and an amazing son. I’ve gotten to know his parents, and they’re wonderful. I think Kourtney has shown all of us that she is going to do life her way. And I even have to admit, I respect her for not succumbing to my wishes for her to be married just because she has a baby. She kind of did it backward. It wasn’t the way I did things, but it works for her.

As I write this, we’re just finishing up Season Six of
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
. I thought I was done, and then all of a sudden, as in all things Kardashian and in any family with six kids, something new happened . . . Kim fell in love.

K
ris Humphries (great first name, right?) was a basketball player for the New Jersey Nets. Kim had met him at the end of shooting our spin-off show
Kourtney & Kim Take New York
. She had been dating Kris for about six months. I had never seen Kim so happy, and I could tell Kris was different. One day, Kris came to Bruce and invited him to go golfing. While they were on the golf course, Kris asked Bruce for Kim’s hand in marriage. Bruce and Kris came running home, where Kris asked
me
for Kim’s hand. Then he asked my advice on how to best pop the question to Kim. He wanted to surprise her, but he wanted to do it in a really low-key and private way, which I thought was really cool. He planned this big surprise for her, and that same night I planned an engagement dinner.

He asked Kim to marry him at her house by taking dozens of red rose petals and spelling out “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” on the floor of Kim’s bedroom. When she came home she didn’t even know he was going to be there, but there he was, down on bended knee when she walked into her rose-strewn bedroom. Of course she said yes.

They came over to our house, where I had gathered the entire family.

“It’s another nine-one-one!” I told everyone. “A nine-one-one barbecue,” which translated to: “Get your ass over here right now.”

Everybody came over immediately. I didn’t tell them why they needed to come. It was important that we kept the proposal hidden until the last second, because
none
of us can keep a secret from one another.

Once the whole family was gathered outside at the dining room table, Kim and Kris walked in. Kim was wearing her huge diamond ring, and she just started flashing her hands around and casually running her fingers through her hair. At first no one noticed.

Then Kylie screamed, “Are you engaged?!”

“Yes!” Kim said.

Everybody started screaming, jumping up and down, and crying. It was just a great, great night. We had dinner, and once again I just sat around looking at my six children, my husband, my grandchild, and my three sons-in-law (one honorary and one future), thinking,
Life is so good.
We had a gorgeous pink Cinderella cake and as a joke, I had rented two mini-horses covered in glitter, and we all wore fake engagement rings.

Of course, the camera crew caught every second.

EPILOGUE

The Epiphany

I
never imagined that a neck-lift would be a transcendental, life-changing experience for me at the age of fifty-five. People think about plastic surgery and they think “self-absorbed,” not “life changing.” Yet my neck-lift surgery taught me some amazing lessons about life—and about love, friendship, loyalty, self-control, and the power of letting go. Most of all, it taught me about the importance of overcoming fear. My husband often says, “Fear is like fire: it can burn your house down, or it can keep you warm and cook your food.”

It depends on how you look at it. I’ve looked fear in the eye and chosen to overcome it, and that applies to all kinds of facets of my life, from emotional to physical. But few things compared to the neck-lift I had last summer.

Since my first surgery in childhood, when I had the tumor in my leg removed, I have been terrified of going under anesthesia. When I went under anesthesia as a child, I wasn’t sure if I would wake up with a leg or not. Going under for that surgery seemed like I was
surrendering control of my life. I don’t like surrendering control.
I am a control freak.
When I went under again for breast implant surgery in 1988, it was again a very frightening and disorienting experience. I also had a recent knee surgery from a torn meniscus, but that happened so fast, I didn’t have a choice or a chance to really worry about it. Even though the surgery—both surgeries—were very successful, I woke up feeling terrible, throwing up in the car on the way home from the anesthesia and vowing:
I’ll never do that again!

I had been seeing my plastic surgeon, Garth Fisher, for years, but never for myself. One time, Kendall needed a little stitch. Then Bruce had his face-lift, and I went with him to his appointments. Another time, my son, Rob, was injured playing basketball and needed a stitch in his shoulder. Every time I was in Garth’s office, I would barely get halfway down the hall before I would start taking my shirt off to show Garth my boobs and ask him if I needed them done again. He always told me I looked great and to relax.