He dropped his hand from her cheek and looked at her for a long time. It was a good question—a damn good question—and for the life of him, he couldn't come up with a logical answer. He was beginning to realize that logic had little to do with his feelings for Audie.
"It freaked me out, Quinn. Tell me why you gave me your mother's handkerchiefs!"
He nodded slowly and took a breath. Her rich brown eyes were fixed on his and she wasn't letting go. This was a big moment, and he didn't want to blow it. Not too much, he told himself. Not too fast or she'd bolt.
"Because I'm tired of washing your snot out of mine?"
Audie closed her eyes and shook her head, trying not to laugh.
"All right, fine. They're actually my grandmother Stacey's, and I gave them to you because I think you're special and I wanted you to have something that was special to me, personal to me. But you already know that's how I feel about you."
Her eyes flew open and she started marching away from him down the sidewalk. At least she wasn't running or flipping him
off,
Quinn thought. He stayed at her side.
She suddenly wheeled on him. "Your
grandmother's?
God! That's even worse! When we get back to the North Side, I'm giving them back to you."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"I have no business with them."
"And why is that?" He grabbed her by her upper arms. "Isn't it my choice what I do with them? Lace doesn't go with my shoulder holster, anyway."
She blinked, and Quinn watched as a single tear rolled down her left cheek. "What in the hell is happening here?" she whispered, her eyes scanning his face. "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone of love or something, and it's making me panicky, like I've got to get out of here, like you're too much for me, your family is too much for me."
Quinn was tempted to pull her close to him and smother her doubt with kisses—but he knew that would only make things worse. He dropped his hands from her body. "Then count to ten and stop your crying, Audie, because I need you for something important."
She frowned and propped her fists on her hips again. "Need me for what?"
"Do you want to do something nice for Kiley? Would you like to see her laugh?"
She nodded. "Of course I would."
"Then come back to the house with me. Pat said the boys want to get a game going down at
Audie's eyes got wide. "Soccer?"
"Yep. I figure we tell them you've never played before, but you want to learn. That ought to be good for a few laughs." He took her hand and they were walking with purpose back down the street.
"And we let Kiley in on the joke from the beginning?" Audie was smiling.
"My plan exactly."
* * *
Quinn watched Sheila and Audie trade shoes—even Audie couldn't get off a decent kick in a pair of flimsy little sandals, he supposed.
And from the sidelines, he watched Kiley squeal and giggle and yell as Audie pretended to be confused and scared of the ball. It was a fine performance, too.
The little girl's eyes nearly popped from her head when Audie finally let loose and jumped and twirled and ran in her short skirt, the sweat running down her face, blowing everyone out of the water.
When Audie scored the first time, Quinn laughed so damn hard at Michael's stunned expression that he thought he'd busted an artery. It was priceless. The other times she scored he just felt proud and cheered her on.
And when she jumped on his back, and took a victory lap—God, Quinn felt like the luckiest man on earth to be holding her, to have her with him.
"Good Christ," Pat whispered to him at one point, slapping his brother's back. "Did you have a chance to winterize her yet?"
"Pogue mahone,
Stacey," Michael quipped, trying not to laugh in appreciation. "I'll find a way to get you back for this one, believe me."
It was eight-thirty when Quinn and Audie said they needed to head back, and after nine by the time they made it to the car—there were a lot of people who wanted to hug Audie good-bye. Sheila had a difficult time removing Kiley's arms from around Audie's neck.
Jamie
walked them down
the
street.
"Keep safe, lad. See you Wednesday at the Academy for rehearsal." Jamie gave Quinn a peck on the cheek as his son got in the car.
"Audie?" He walked over to the passenger side and placed his big hands on her shoulders. "You, my dear, are a complete joy. Please come back soon."
"I'd like that."
Jamie wrapped her up in his arms again and gently patted her back. "Take good care of each other," he whispered. Then he kissed her cheek, too.
All she could do was nod.
Chapter 10
A
udie sat quietly
in
the car, tingling from Jamie's kiss and his words. Now she knew where Quinn got his unlikely mixture of gentleness and macho swagger—from his father.
"I'm dying of curiosity, Quinn. What's
pogue mahone
mean?"
Quinn laughed. "That's Gaelic for 'Kiss my ass.'"
"Figured it was something like that," she said.
"So did you have a good time today?"
"Oh, fair, Stacey," she sighed. "How about you?"
His chuckle was so warm and soft that it gave Audie goosebumps.
"My family is the best part of my life—my family and friends. I've already told you that." Quinn reached over and brushed his knuckles against the side of her face. "Having you with me today made it even better."
Audie shot him a circumspect look.
"That's all. I'm done. I won't say another nice thing to you the whole way back. I swear it." He dropped his hand to her shoulder briefly, then pulled away to concentrate on
the
drive.
She sat in silence, staring out at the busy South Side neighborhoods along
Then it must be her, she decided, because suddenly she didn't know where she was.
But oh! She sure knew how she'd gotten there!
It started with the anonymous threats. Then
Griffin
insisted she call the cops. Then the cop sent to protect her ended up seducing her. Then she'd been seduced by the cop's entire family!
And right at that instant, Audie couldn't decide whether to run like hell or jump into this man's arms and beg him to love her forever. How had she let it get this messed up? How could she have put herself in this position?
But there she was—in Quinn's car, in the dark, under some kind of magic spell. Her brain had been addled by an entire day of affection and belonging, and now her mind was wandering light-years beyond basic common sense, and she was thinking about all the wonderful "what ifs" of Detective Stacey Quinn.
What if Quinn was the right man for her? What if he could love her for who she was? What if they got married someday and she suddenly became one of those Quinn people—the laughing, arguing, singing, drinking, loving South Side Quinns?
What an intriguing thought.
If Helen were alive, she'd have a cow, and wouldn't that just be icing on the wedding cake right there?
Audie giggled silently and cast a sly peek at Quinn, then turned away.
Their wedding would be a big, emotional affair. The reception would be loud and wild. All their kids would have Quinn's eyes. She'd quit the column and go back to coaching and teaching. They'd live in Quinn's house and they could fit one of those wooden swing set contraptions in the backyard.
She stole another glance at the poor unsuspecting groom- and father-to-be, his no-nonsense face lit up by the dashboard, all straight angles and handsome planes.
Oh, hell, she might as well admit it—it wasn't just the magic spell of his family. It was the magic of Stacey Quinn himself. He was wonderful. She was fatally curious about him, fatally tempted, fatally interested.
She winced and looked down at her hands. She'd already used the L-word in her mind, hadn't she? It didn't mean she actually loved him. It just meant it might be possible. Or not.
Audie smoothed her hair and pulled her shoulders back. "OK, Quinn. The answer is I'm not exactly sure what I like the best," she said, seemingly out of nowhere.
"Huh?" Quinn looked her way and cocked his head.
"That day on the boat you asked me what I like in bed and I don't really think I know for sure."
"Jee-ay-sus, Audie. You're supposed to warn me!"
She looked over to see him grinning ear-to-ear.
"I'm sorry. You're absolutely right, Detective." She laughed and took a deep breath. "I'd like to talk about sex now. Would that be all right?"
"I've got a few spare minutes."
Audie folded her hands in her lap and bit her lower lip. "Why don't you ask me questions and I'll try to answer them? Do you think that will work?"
"What kind of questions?"
"Sex questions."
"Like a health class quiz?"
"No! Like a get-to-know-you thing."
Quinn snorted. "Pardon me for bringing this up, but the last time I tried to 'get to know you,' you sent me packing to the guest room."
"I know. But this is different."
"So you're ready for me now, Audie?" His voice sounded strained.
"I think so. I don't know. Just ask me questions before I chicken out."
Quinn took the entrance ramp onto the Dan Ryan Expressway, laughing nervously. "I don't think I'm going to be watching road signs in a minute. Don't let me miss the
"No problem."
He adjusted himself in the driver's seat and pulled the car into the stream of expressway traffic. "OK—let's start with a simple one. Uh, how do you like to be kissed?"
"All the ways you've kissed me so far have been quite nice. I got no complaints there."
"Great. Uh, what gets you
…
well
…"
"Hey! You told me you weren't sexually repressed!"
"I'm not! I just
…
fine, let me backtrack a bit. How do you like to talk about sex?"
"What do you mean, 'how'?"
"I mean do you like flowery words and vague references to, you know, body parts and things people do with them when they make love? Or do you like to talk about sex directly?"
"I wouldn't know. I've never had this conversation before, exactly."
Audie crossed her arms under her breasts and looked out at the shiny river of cars. "I've talked about sex, of course, but usually afterward, and it was stuff like 'That felt nice,' or, 'I liked this or that,' so I'm not sure how I prefer to talk about it right now, with all my clothes on, riding in an unmarked police car." She turned to face him. "How do you like to talk about it?"
"Directly, I suppose."
"Then let's be direct. Keep asking."
Quinn turned up the air conditioning and shifted in his seat. "Are you sexually attracted to me, Audie?"
"Oooh, yeah." She pursed her lips and nodded.
"So it hasn't been all wishful thinking on my part?"
"Not hardly."
"That's a huge relief."
"I'm glad."
"All
right. Let's take care of the paperwork first. I'm healthy. No HIV. No herpes. No nothing. The department tests
every
six months and the last one was in June and since then I haven't been at risk, if you know what I mean. I'm good to go. How about you?"
Audie laughed nervously. "There's been no one since Russell, and I got tested again just a month ago. I'm completely healthy. And I know you're Catholic and everything, but I'm on the pill."
"Wow. Then we could do some serious sinning."
"We could."
"So tell me what gets you sexually aroused."
She laughed. "We're moving right along, aren't we?"
"No point in dawdling." He grinned at her. "I've sinned before, you know."
"Fine. Being within a hundred miles of you gets me aroused, Quinn. Hearing your gravelly voice. Feeling you touch my hand or my cheek or my feet and legs—well, you already know what happens with that."
He did know. Yes, Lord, he did. And Quinn looked at her over there, glowing, round and soft and refreshingly honest, and realized that if this was going where he thought it was, tonight was going to be one hell of a good night.
At that instant, Connelly's warning came to mind, and he knew that no matter how much he wanted Audie, how crazy she was making him—this probably was not a smart move.
But then she turned toward him, those dark eyes sparkling, those plump lips turning up at the corners, and Quinn didn't give a damn what Connelly said. He couldn't even remember what the man looked like.
"And talking about sex with you, Quinn—now
that
gets me plenty aroused."
"It does?"
"Yes."
"Did you say my voice is gravelly?"
"Yes, I did."
"All right then. And how do you know you're getting hot for me?"
"Hot for you?" Audie laughed and then sighed deeply. "Mmmm. Well, I start to tingle all over and I feel all warm inside. My stomach does a little flip. I want to touch my own breasts." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Then I feel myself getting wet and slippery and I start thinking about how I'm going to get something big and hard inside me."
She heard Quinn take a loud gulp of air. "Holy God in heaven, that was a fine answer."
"Ask me some more."
"Whoa," Quinn whispered. "So when you're like that—all hot and slippery—goddamn!" He turned up the air conditioning another notch. "What do you imagine happening first? What would you want to start off with?"
"Are we talking about right now, with you? Can I answer it that way?"
"Yes."
"I'd like to start with a long, slow kiss. Then lots more of them, because I really like the feel of your mouth on mine—have you noticed we seem to fit really nice on each other?"
Audie heard Quinn gulp. "That I have. And as I recall, my mouth fits real nice in a few other places you got."
"I know it does," she breathed.
Quinn was quiet for a moment, trying to get his synapses to fire. "OK, so we've kissed. What next?"
"Next I'd want you naked, Detective Quinn. I'd want to take your clothes off—with no help from you—and watch your expression when I look at all of you for the first time
…
when I put my hands on you."
"That could be arranged."
"Because you've seen a lot more of me than I've seen of you."
"True enough."
"And then you'd take off my clothes."
"Yes, I would."
"And you'd put your hands all over me."
Quinn sucked in air.
"Keep asking. I'm liking this."
"I noticed." He sat for a moment just listening to the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. "What makes you come, Audie?"
"Wow. That's a complicated one." She turned in the seat to get a good look at him. His face was very serious and his jaw was tight and hard above his collar. She wondered what else of his might be hard. "You want the honest answer?"
"Honesty is good."
"Well, honestly, it doesn't happen all that often. It can take some time and a lot of direct attention, you know?"
"I do know."
"I think you were on the right track the other night."
"Without a doubt."
"But every once in a while it just happens all nice and mellow for me."
Quinn turned to her with a smug little smile. "That's all going to change, Homey."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean, what you just described doesn't sound all that tremendous."
"It can be nice."
He chuckled lasciviously. "Nice is nice, but here's what I want to know: Has it ever been so fucking hot that your screaming made the neighbor lady call the cops?"
Audie's eyes flew wide. "Um, not that I recall."
"I think you'd recall something like that."
"I guess I would."
"Well, that's the part I'm gonna change, Homey."
She laughed.
"Or die trying."