Authors: Lana Grayson
“I told you—you can’t fix everything,” Lyn whispered. “Don’t try to be a hero, Luke.”
“I’m tired of being the villain.”
“Then be what you
are
.” Lyn pulled my hand to her lips, kissing with each word. “Noble. Smart. Be
Knight
. Not the traitor, and not the man trying to make up for it.”
“I don’t know who that man is, Lyn.”
Her eyes darkened, a shade of green so beautiful others would envy it. “It’s the man standing right here. The one who better come back to me.”
I kissed her—deep, hard. Wasn’t remorse, but it wasn’t goodbye. Just a promise.
“This ends tonight,” I said. “The split. The fighting. The fucking Coup. It’s done.”
I kissed her again because I could. Because she was mine and I was leaving her for a goddamned war. But I had to regain some honor, if only so I could protect her if she made the reckless decision to keep on loving me.
I left her with Rose and met Thorne in the hall. He said nothing, but he walked with me. A regained moment of trust.
We led each other into the war.
Like the first time we fought side-by-side.
Like the last time we battled, facing each other.
Tonight wouldn’t be the beginning of peace, not when it drenched in so much blood. But we confronted the same demons and protected the ones we loved.
Because if we failed?
No one would survive.
There was no such thing as a
clean break
for a dancer.
Not one, but
two
bones failed me. Tibia and Fibula. Both fucked.
I remembered landing. Remembered the crunch. Remembered the agony.
Nothing about it felt clean, but, then again, I wasn’t feeling too much at all now. I credited the heavy dose of drugs they gave me to cope with both the pain and my uncertain future.
Or where Luke fit into it.
I could do nothing to help him or Anathema from the hospital bed. The doctors examined the x-ray and spoke to me about my options. None of them mattered. If we didn’t stop Priest, and if Temple waited for them at the warehouse, I wouldn’t be running to safety even with two functioning legs.
“You really should rest,” Rose said. She was one to talk. She fluttered around the room, abandoning the chair at my bedside to fidget and pace.
She made me more nervous than Luke. “I’m fine.”
“Do you need anything?”
Only the last month of my life back. If given the option, I wouldn’t have hid from the events that happened, but I’d do them over again. I could’ve acted smarter, been more efficient.
Saved some lives.
I was always in control of myself, and I answered only to my rigorous expectations. Not like I had other options. Any sign of weakness, and the MCs would have destroyed me and my girls.
God only knew what they do once I had a cast on my leg.
Rose should have known better than to hover around me. I wasn’t one to be doted on. I sent Keep to the cafeteria to smuggle me real food even though I’d never eat it. The pain stole my appetite, but I’d force a muffin down to pretend that I was okay.
I didn’t want anyone to know how badly I hurt. Or that I needed help.
Or that I couldn’t stop dreading what would happen to Luke.
“There’s no harm in sleeping.” Rose was a sweet girl, but she surprised me today. She managed the club a hell of a lot better than when she first snuck into Thorne’s bed. “They have you on some pretty powerful pain-killers.”
“Could you sleep now? Knowing Thorne’s off playing cowboy in the desert?”
“No.” Rose gave me a smile. “I always was a worrier. Even when I was a kid, waiting for Brew and Keep or Da—Blade to come home. I hated it then. Never thought I’d be someone’s old lady.”
“So how do you handle it?”
“I don’t. I don’t think anyone gets used to sending them out, not knowing if they’ll make it back.” She shrugged. “But I get a lot of my term papers and music written in the middle of the night. It’s normal to feel helpless.”
Except
helpless
wasn’t me. I didn’t fear for my friends. I helped them. I never thought I’d be in a position where I couldn’t protect the ones that mattered.
The man I loved.
“This sucks.” It was as much as I was willing to admit. “I used to watch the guys act like idiots all the time. I never had to worry about them.”
“They don’t need us to worry. Just got to be strong.”
That’d be easier to do if I could walk. I gripped my cell phone and tried to stretch. The brace immobilized me and the pillow elevated the injury. Nothing felt good, but I was used to discomfort. My usual five inch heels and corset weren’t as nice as yoga pants and sweatshirt.
The drugs were powerful. Rose squeezed my hand.
“You sleep. I’ll call the girls. Let Annie and the others know to get to Pixie and wait.”
Sleep only sounded nice if Luke were next to me. At least the morphine made a decent companion. Rose snuck into the bathroom to make her calls. I closed my eyes for a long minute.
I fought to open them again as someone bumbled against my bed.
Not a doctor. Not a nurse.
Agent Greene fiddled with my IV.
“You don’t have to be so dramatic.” I gripped her wrist before she came close to the line with the loaded syringe. “You can just slit my throat and kill me. Not like I can run,
Kitty
.”
Agent Greene batted me away. Her arms blurred, the motion dizzying my head.
The drugs weren’t helping.
At least I wouldn’t feel it if she tried to kill me.
“I thought you were hiding somewhere in the club.” Her badge flashed at her hip. She didn’t need a visitor’s pass if she could pretend she was harassing me for official business. “What did you hear?”
“Everything before and after you gagged on Heathen’s cock.”
At least she blushed. “He’s a big guy.”
“How lucky for you.”
“Don’t you judge me. We’re the same when it comes to a guy in a leather vest jerking his dick.”
Like hell. “I’m no club whore. How many times have you been passed around Temple’s laps?”
Her breath rasped, hard, and the needle aimed for my face. She didn’t prick me, but it wasn’t a friendly motion.
“I didn’t start with Heathen. I was Toviel Aren’s favorite. Before…” Her voice actually cracked. She cleared away whatever softness burst from his name. “Before he got shot. He’s on life-support because Brew-Fucking-Darnell’s whore blasted him with a shotgun to his face. Heathen took over which meant he got the rights to me. I do as he says.”
“That means killing me?”
“Gotta protect the club, right, Lyn?”
She believed it. Not the wavering resolve of a person with broken sanity and forsaken self-respect. This was
conviction
. The abandonment of the rule of law for a set of order beyond anything ATF or her criminal justice degree ever taught.
She wasn’t upset. She wasn’t floundering. She’d kill me because it was best for Temple MC.
For whatever their reasons.
Too bad I wasn’t ready to die.
And Anathema was just as loyal.
Rose crept from the bathroom, silent and small and innocuous. She snuck behind Agent Greene, unseen, until the barrel of her gun pressed against
Kitty’s
skull.
“
You
?” Rose whispered. “What the hell are
you
doing here?”
The syringe dropped on my blanket. Rose forced her away from the bed, stealing her weapon and giving her a quick frisk. Agent Greene didn’t turn around. That was good.
The gun trembled in Rose’s hand.
“Rose.” Agent Greene wasn’t at all surprised by the weapon to her head. I imagined it wasn’t the first she felt. “I haven’t seen you in a few months. Not since our little chat.”
Since when did
Rose
meet with ATF?
She swallowed. “You wanted me to turn in Blade for abusing me. Rat him out and send him to jail.”
“It would have made everything much easier.”
“I doubt that.”
Agent Greene winked at me. “Someone else took care of Daddy for you, didn’t they?”
“Did the world a service,” I said.
“Tell Rose to put the gun away,” she said.
“I think I like the gun where it is.”
“I can break her arm. I’m not a little co-ed masquerading as a queen. She’s not gonna fire it. Tell her to turn around, walk out of here, and she doesn’t get hurt.”
Rose bumped the barrel. “Don’t push me. I’m not the same girl you cornered in that diner.”
“You’re just as fragile. Not likely to pull that trigger.”
The door slammed shut. Agent Greene twisted, reaching for Rose’s gun. She met Keep’s instead.
“Nah, she won’t have to shoot that gun.” Keep pushed Rose out of the way. “Back the fuck up before I pull the trigger for her.”
“Keep Darnell?”
Kitty
broke out her official voice. “I’m Agent Katherine Greene, ATF.”
Keep’s glance to Rose forced a flush to her cheeks. “Why the
fuck
are you pissing with ATF? Jesus. I remember when you used to come to me with car problems. Changing a tire for you didn’t land me on death-row.”
“Don’t worry, Keep.” I held Agent Green’s stare. “She’s not just ATF. She’s one of Temple’s girls. Heathen’s little slut.”
“I’m not a slut,” she said. “Call me an adrenaline junkie. You said it yourself. I get off on danger.”
“Then you’re probably slick enough to slide right out of that forty dollar pantsuit, aren’t ya?”
Rose trained her gun on Kitty. “Why hasn’t Temple killed you? They have to know you’re an agent.”
Oh, that was an easy question now that I knew the type of woman I faced. “Because she went undercover and found greener pastures. Sat on the right cock and decided she liked the MC more than a badge.”
“Nothing wrong with following your heart,” Agent Greene said.
“You were thinking with something a little lower, Kitty,” I said. “Temple uses you for intel, and you protect them from ATF.”
“I protected
Toviel
.”
“He’s not doing a good job protecting you.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s your prince charming and warlord now?”
The hospital gown hardly covered me, I didn’t have my makeup or a hairbrush, and my leg swelled three times its normal size in the brace, but she wasn’t about to intimidate me.
“They’re looking after their own,” I said. “Seems like Temple could do the same. What the hell is Heathen’s plan?”
She flinched away from the gun. Keep tisked his tongue and moved in close.
“You wanna dance, baby?” He asked. “We’ll tango all night. But you answer her questions first.”
Agent Greene hesitated, probably considering options that faded as the guns pointed. I imagined Heathen’s orders sounded less and less appealing.
“Heathen’s in control of Temple,” she said. “He took it. No vote. Just
acting
as Toviel’s will. And he never trusted me, not after learning about Blade.”
What about Blade? Christ, something was wrong. We missed one big fucking piece of the puzzle, and it put everyone in harm’s way. Keep and Rose shared a moment of tension. They rarely looked at each other when Blade’s name was spoken. Neither had healed from that pain yet, but it looked like they were about to get some crazy immersion therapy on the subject.
“Blade did everything you wanted,” I said. “Why didn’t Heathen trust him?”
Agent Greene laughed, glancing from me to Rose to Keep. “You’re kidding. Jesus, don’t tell me you killed Blade just because he
touched
Rose.”
“
Raped
Rose,” Keep growled. “Careful, bitch.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You didn’t know?”
“Know
what
?”
She tilted her head, speaking as though were all the biggest idiots that ever blundered into the middle of a warzone.
“Blade’s been working with ATF for the past
fifteen
years. He was a double-fucking-agent.”
The guns lowered. Keep stepped away, twisting the weapon in his hand. He snarled.
“Dad was no
fucking
rat.”
Agent Greene snorted. “You’re gonna defend him in front of Rose?”
Keep’d turn the gun on himself. Rose interrupted, edging between them.
“Blade wasn’t a traitor,” she said. “He never turned on Anathema.”
“Of course he didn’t. The Anathema MC is a small club in a small city running cigarettes and killing themselves in the streets.” Agent Greene edged from the gun. “ATF didn’t need them. They always wanted Temple. It’s why they sent me in, and why they used Blade to get details on the drug trade.”
Rose didn’t buy it. “How the hell would you get a man like Blade to agree to any of this?”
“ATF used
you
, Rose.”
My stomach pitched. Not from the drugs. Keep took her hand.
She batted him away.
Agent Greene frowned. “Blade Darnell took enough pictures and videos of you to get him in serious fucking trouble. He traded in pornography, ran a whole ring with other sleezeballs. Christ, you’re just lucky he was the only son of a bitch who ever molested you.” She reined it in as Keep’s gun trembled a little too close to her head. “The Feds had enough to put Blade away for a long time.”