Kissing with Fangs (6 page)

Her sponsor followed suit. “Hi, I'm Gaye, and I'm an alcoholic.”

Someone behind them chuckled and said, “So am I.”

Another deep voice echoed, “Me too.”

Gaye turned around. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

The room erupted in giggles, but Gaye smiled, taking the good-natured ribbing well. Claudia couldn't help but be impressed with the woman's unshakable serenity. She hoped someday she'd be that comfortable in her own skin.

Her mind was racing. The members were taking turns reading a paragraph at a time from the book outlining the twelve steps. When her turn came, she wasn't even aware of what she was reading. All she could concentrate on was not stumbling over her words. She stumbled once anyway.

“Sheesh. I don't think I comprehended a thing I just read,” she whispered to Gaye.

Gaye leaned toward her and whispered back, “Bring the body. The mind will follow.”

“But—”

“Shhh. ‘Learn to listen and listen to learn.' We'll talk later.”

The woman could be a hard-ass, but thank goodness she had someone with experience helping her through this. Claudia couldn't imagine trying to navigate all the changes she was going through alone.

For the first month, Claudia couldn't help crying easily when someone brought up a situation that had contributed to their problems—and hers. Poor self-esteem, isolation, fear…the emotional gamut. But her sponsor said it was normal to feel a little raw in the beginning, especially since she was feeling emotions she'd shut away or tried to dilute with alcohol.
If
only
it
had
worked.
The more she drank, the worse it got.

She'd gone from feeling pleasantly buzzed to crying uncontrollably when she'd drunk too much and self-pity kicked in. Someone described her struggle in a way Claudia could totally understand. She said she was a high-bottom drunk with low-bottom emotions. Another guy said he felt like he was in a slingshot when he drank. He never knew where he'd wind up.

For Claudia, the emotions were the worst part. She'd never woken up on a stranger's front lawn or passed out in a friend's closet while looking for the bathroom, but she identified with the feelings of shame expressed at meetings when even the toughest guys cracked.

No one she'd heard speak in AA had the exact circumstances she did—a dear departed sister and survivor's guilt—but everyone seemed to understand her tears and fears nonetheless.

Her sister, Marion, was two years older and the “better” daughter. Claudia should have been driving that night, but Marion came to get her because Claudia had celebrated her high-school graduation a little too much. You'd think that would have made Claudia want to stop drinking—and it did, for a while. But nothing dulled the pain like oblivion.

After the meeting, she and Gaye went out for ice cream. Gaye had encouraged her to complete the twelve steps of the AA program. The first time Claudia read them, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Make amends? How the hell was she supposed to do that with her parents? Her tendency had been to make up for feelings of inferiority by overachieving. It didn't exactly work, but at least she felt less like a schmuck.

“I've been trying, but I can't take all these steps at once,” she confessed to Gaye. “For once, I want to be less than perfect.”

“It's not a contest, and rushing through the steps won't do you any good. In fact, it could mess you up even more. But you're not alone. Lots of people have thought it was impossible. You'll take the steps as you're ready for them,” Gaye said. “And I'll help you.”

“I'm having a hard time just letting memories wash over me and facing reality without a drink.”

“That's normal.”

“But how do I cope when that happens?”

“You call me.”

“And if you're not available?”

“Leave me a message and then call someone else. Or if for some reason, you can't reach anyone, repeat the Serenity Prayer or something like ‘This too shall pass' until I call you back.”

The program relied heavily on clichés, but those tidbits of wisdom were helping Claudia nonetheless. She felt like she was hearing some of them for the first time.
Live
and
Let
Live. Easy Does It. One Day at a Time.
And, oh, yeah…
Keep
it
Simple, Stupid
was a kick in the pants, but one she needed when she was tempted to overdo it. Life was complicated enough, yet apparently alcoholics were adept at mucking it up even more.

Soon she'd be moving and her schedule would change. Her job at the tea shop would keep her busy during the day, and meetings would occupy her evenings. That seemed simple enough.

Gaye reached into her purse and extracted a pen and paper. “Here. I want you to write a gratitude list. Right here. Right now.”

“A what?”

“A list of all the things in your life that you're grateful for. Nothing is too small or silly to write down. It's not for anyone's eyes but yours. Write down at least fifteen things.”

“Fifteen? But what if I can't—”

“You can. Think about it. I'll give you as long as it takes for me to finish my ice cream. Now, start writing.”

“Sheesh.” Claudia thought a moment and began.

I'm grateful for…

Steady job.

Cute apartment.

I'm reasonably healthy.

I have an MBA.

Mostly natural blond hair.

Stylish clothes.

A few true friends.

I'm compassionate—especially to underdogs.

I'm making new friends.

Parents who love me in their own annoying way.

Then she scratched out the word “annoying.”

Growing and learning in AA.

Sobriety is making me feel healthy again.

A good sponsor.

Caring boss/boyfriend.

Can actually write a gratitude list and mean it.

I can see I didn't cause my sister's death.

I look forward to learning to forgive myself.

Hope.

She stopped writing when she felt tears burning behind her eyes. “I don't know what I'd do without you and Anthony, Gaye.”

“Well, I know why you need me,” Gaye joked. “But what is Anthony good for?”

Claudia bit her lower lip. “Call it unconditional love. We all need someone to accept us for who we are. Good and bad. Warts and all. Anthony is that man.”

Gaye smiled. “It sounds like you have some stuff to be grateful for.”

“A lot, actually. I was feeling so alone, even before the fire. Then afterward my best friend got married, and I didn't want to take her away from her first few months of wedded bliss.” Claudia chuckled. “Her name is even Bliss.”

“Like my name is Gaye. Is hers any less ironic than mine?”

Claudia smirked. “She was never this blissful before hooking up with her hottie fireman. Maybe you need a handsome firefighter too.”

Gaye lifted one eyebrow. “I don't think so. I'm not ready for that kind of emotional turmoil, and I might never be. Speaking of which, how are things with your boyfriend?”

“Anthony is wonderful. His ex is giving him a hard time, though. I don't know why she won't leave him alone.” Claudia studied her bowl of melting rocky road.

Gaye sighed. “Are you sure you're ready to handle a relationship? There's a saying, you know. KISS. ‘Keep it simple, sweetheart.'”

“Yeah, yeah. I know that one. Only they usually say ‘stupid' instead of ‘sweetheart.'”

“In my opinion, we need to be a little gentler with ourselves. We called ourselves stupid hundreds of times when we were drinking. Staying in recovery is one of the smartest things you'll ever do. So, sweetheart…the boyfriend?”

“Why should I give up one of the best things that ever happened to me just because some bimbo he doesn't care about anymore doesn't like it? I think she needs a program of recovery too, but I don't know what it would be. Is there a Pains-in-the-Ass Anonymous?”

Gaye laughed. “I wish. I can think of a few people I'd like to send there—but remember the Serenity Prayer. The only ones we can change are ourselves. That's what they mean by live and let live.”

Claudia sighed. “I'm used to being in charge as a manager and working with people who do what I ask them to.”

“Welcome to the real world, kiddo.”

Ruxandra had to keep her distance while following Anthony. She had always wished they could communicate telepathically, but now she was glad they could not. One stray thought could tip him off. As her maker, he could easily recognize her scent, so tracking his haunts and habits had proved tricky.

She knew he spent a lot of evenings in Chinatown and suspected his lair was someplace in that area. Maybe he was getting animal blood from the local restaurants, but he was almost always there before dawn when she had to run back to her own dark hiding place for her death sleep.

Luckily she had found an unoccupied building in the Beacon Flats area with a basement entrance. Prying open the door was easy. Sealing it against light and curious passersby had proven a bit more challenging, but she was a clever girl and had remembered a great new invention called duct tape. It worked like a charm.

She worried about Anthony protecting himself without her help. He had taught her to take no chances, but lately he seemed to be taking more and more risks with his own safety. Like now. Why was he in Cambridge?

She'd had to occupy the subway a few cars behind his and was surprised when he got off in Central Square. Why here? Everyone knew there was nothing worth seeing between MIT and Harvard Square.

She quickly checked the wind direction and was glad to find it blowing his scent toward her and not the other way around. She hung back and wrapped her scarf around her hair, which was so blond it shown like a beacon under the streetlights.

Suddenly he was crossing the street and rounding the nearest corner. She had to jog between cars after the lights changed, but she caught sight of him again as soon as she rounded the same corner.
Whew.
Tracking him all this way just to lose him in—Ruxandra halted when he stopped a few feet from a moving van.

What
the…
Another blond was facing away from him, but he came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. He must have whispered something funny in her ear, because she giggled. Then the slut turned around.

Claudia!

Ruxandra began to seethe. All those years ago, she'd accused the klutzy waitress of being his whore and they'd both had the nerve to deny it—but it was true! They'd probably been making a fool of her all this time.

Anthony had claimed he needed to spend a few minutes each evening in his office with Claudia so she could fill him in on the business of the day.

Ruxandra needed all of her self-control to keep from rushing at the bitch and tearing her head off. Anthony had frequently accused her of jumping to conclusions and so, as painful as it was to watch, she had to wait until there was absolutely no doubt about his betrayal.

He's kissing her. And she's kissing him back!

Ruxandra couldn't take any more. She flew at the unsuspecting couple. Anthony must have sensed her a millisecond before she reached them, because she fell on her ass as he blocked her with his arm and pushed Claudia toward the nearby stairs.

“Get inside, Claudia!” he yelled.

“Yeah, run. He doesn't need you. He needs
me!
” Ruxandra sprang to her feet, ready to grab her slower rival, but before she could get to Claudia, she was on her ass again and one hundred eighty pounds of vampire was sitting on her chest.

“Ow! Anthony, you're hurting me.”

He paid no attention to her. Instead he called to Claudia, “I'll hold her until you get inside. Don't open the door for
anyone
.”

Ruxandra heard footsteps scuffle up the concrete stairs. Then a heavy door opened and shut. When it was just the two of them on the sidewalk, he focused his angry gaze on her. “What the hell is the matter with you?” The intensity she saw in his eyes was almost too much to bear and she turned away.

He grasped her jaw and roughly turned her to face him, but he didn't say anything. Instead he glanced up, and a moment later, she heard an unfamiliar voice yelling, “Hey. Get off of her.”

Thank
goodness
for
the
stupidity
of
humans.

“It's not what it looks like,” Anthony called out.

“Yeah, right.”

When she craned her neck, she caught sight of the guy pulling a cell phone from his pocket.

Ruxandra saw her chance to make Anthony admit their relationship as
she
saw it. “He's my husband. Don't call the police. We'll work it out.”

Anthony growled.

The guy hit some buttons on his phone, ignoring them. A moment later he was saying, “Yeah, there's some kind of domestic dispute on Essex Street. Looks like the woman is getting the worst of it.”

Shit.
Now both she and Anthony had to disappear fast, and he wouldn't let her follow him again.

Well, that backfired.

She'd just have to wait until the woman was alone. He couldn't protect her every minute, and now Ruxandra knew where her rival lived. Or not. The moving van… Was it for Claudia? Was she moving in with him?

Ruxandra saw red.

***

Claudia wondered why Anthony was taking so long to get rid of Ruxandra and come back with the news that the coast was clear. Either the coast wasn't clear, or…
No. I refuse to believe that. He'd never go back to her.

Pacing, she pondered her situation. She had the moving van for twenty-four hours. After picking it up at noon and loading the lighter boxes into it herself, she'd waited for Anthony to help with the furniture. He didn't get there until eight and it was about nine thirty now.

Well, if I have to spend the night here, at least I still have a mattress to sleep on. Damn. I was looking forward to getting out of this hellhole and moving into the beautiful, brand-new apartment over the tea shop.

Claudia had never come right out and directly asked Anthony why he insisted on never being disturbed during the day. She respected his privacy, and so far it hadn't been a problem. But what if he never came back tonight? Would some kind stranger help her load her furniture in the morning?

She almost snorted out loud. Even friends were scarce when it came to moving.

She was just about to give up and unpack a book when a knock sounded on the door.

Thank
goodness.

She sprinted to the door and looked through the peephole. “Kurt?”
What
the
hell
is
he
doing
here?
She left the chain fastened and opened the door only the few inches the chain would allow.

“Where's Anthony?”

“He's been delayed. He asked me to help you move. Tory is here with me.”

Tory Montana peeked around the doorjamb. “Heard you could use an ex-linebacker to move some heavy furniture.”

Claudia sagged with a mixture of relief and concern. “I don't suppose it matters that he told me not to open my door to anyone.”

Tory grinned. “We're not just anyone, sweetheart. We're the cavalry.”

That's for sure.
These two were her favorite regulars from the bar. She'd never pictured missing their daily presence in her life until the building went up in flames.

She slid open the lock, opened the door wide, and walked into two bear hugs.

“So, is Anthony coming back?”

“He said it was safer for you if he didn't.”

She glanced from one to the other. “Do you know about Ruxandra's hissy fit? How she reacts whenever she thinks we…I mean, that Anthony and I…but we never have!”

Kurt chuckled and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I was there the day the bar opened, the first time she threatened you. She'd act the same way toward any beautiful woman Anthony looked at for two seconds.”

“She called me a whore!”

“She's just projecting the worst of herself onto you.”

“You mean, she…”

“I shouldn't have said anything. Just ignore me.” Kurt sported his silly grin. “You know how full of shit I can be.”

“Don't worry,” Tory said. “We won't let anything happen to you. And Anthony can take care of himself.”

“Where is he now?”

The guys looked at each other.

“Tell me.”

Kurt cleared his throat. “I think he's trying to convince Ruxandra to leave town.”

That sounded like an exercise in futility. How many times had he asked her to leave now? Twenty? Thirty?

Claudia's shoulders slumped.

Tory rubbed her back. “I know. She's been a pain in the ass for years, but I think he's come up with some inventive new threats that might work.”

Claudia didn't know how she felt about that. She certainly wanted Ruxandra out of the way, but did she want Anthony threatening anyone? And would he be able to follow through?

As if Kurt could read her mind, he said, “Don't think about it. Please. Anthony knows how stressful this has been for you, and he'll take care of it. He wants you to be able to relax and live your life.”

“It doesn't seem like too much to ask,” she muttered.

Tory put an arm around her shoulder. “Grab your keys. This furniture isn't going to move itself.”

***

Anthony hated the idea of spending any more time than absolutely necessary with Ruxandra, but he had to protect Claudia. He lured his irksome ex to the Harvard Square area, in the opposite direction from where Claudia, Kurt, and Tory needed to go.

They shared a patch of grass on someone's front lawn. The fragrant foliage wasn't enough to overcome the irritation of being forced to give Ruxandra his undivided attention. Or it would have been undivided, if he could get Claudia out of his mind.

Why he'd begun a relationship with the beautiful human he'd lusted after for five years was anyone's guess. But he refused to call it a mistake. He and Claudia had put their happiness on hold for far too long.

The few months they'd spent together since their first kisses were the happiest he'd had in a long time. Under the guise of planning the new business, he'd given Ruxandra the slip and met Claudia in various places around the city. It hadn't been easy, but he'd become fairly good at it. Unfortunately, he'd gotten cocky too. Now Claudia was in danger, and it was all his fault.

“I've told you over and over again…you don't love me. You're obsessed. It's as if you want me just because you can't have me.”

“That's ridiculous. I want you because I love you. And you
need
me.”

“You don't know what love is. If you loved me, you'd want me to be happy.”

“I can make you happy. I can hunt for you. I can defend you. I can keep up with you sexually. Do you think a mere mortal can do all that? If only you'd give me a chance…”

“I did give you a chance—many chances—and we drove each other crazy. Face it. We're just not good together.”

“That was before. I've grown since then.”

“Yeah, right. You've grown into a bigger pain in my ass than ever.”

Over the last century, he had tried reasoning with the volatile vampiress, threatening her, and putting thousands of miles between the two of them.

Inevitably, he got sick of failing to banish her from his life and would work around her. As it turned out, that was his mistake. She knew she could wear him down and wouldn't stop until he let her hang around.

Eventually, the attention she demanded would drive him to distraction again. If he didn't come up with some kind of permanent solution to Ruxandra's interference, it would go on for eternity.

“Ruxandra, you're driving me into the sunshine.”

“Is that the vampire's equivalent of ‘You're driving me to drink'?”

“Essentially, yes.”

“But that makes no sense. If you want to drink, we should be together. We can drink from each other or share our thralls.”

Logic was wasted on her. She had her own, and as much as he hated to admit it, in some ways she made sense. It would be more convenient to be with another vampire. No need to hide what he was. Hunting with a lookout was infinitely easier. Or they'd have twice the chances of finding a willing thrall.

Unfortunately, logic was also wasted on his heart. Claudia was the only woman he felt right with. He totally trusted her, relaxed with her, enjoyed her company. And it didn't stop with companionship. The sexual attraction was overpowering. Claudia was the only woman in decades that his traitorous body had demanded he take to bed. It was all he could do to keep his pants on until he could figure out what to do about Ruxandra.

His own resources weren't enough, but how could he take out a restraining order on a vampire without putting innocent law-enforcement officers in mortal danger? Perhaps Sadie could use her psychic insight to help him think of a solution.

“Are you listening to me?” Ruxandra shouted.

“Huh? No. I can't hear you when you yell. Besides, I've heard it all before, Ruxandra. We have nothing else to say to each other. I think it's time to call it a night.”

She lunged at him and pinned him to the ground. “We'll ‘call it a night' when I say it's a night.”

Anthony simply sighed. If he wanted to, he could toss her into the bushes easily. But he'd done that before—and she'd clung to his retreating back before. They'd done it all before.

And he was thoroughly sick of it. He was almost ready to lie there and fry when the sun came up, but she'd fry too. He didn't think she was willing to kill them both, but who knew?

“What are you going to do? Anchor the two of us here until dawn?”

“If that's what it takes for you to see the light.”

Seeing
the
light
. Anthony snapped out of his despair. Didn't Sadie or Kurt or somebody mention a vampire who could walk in daylight?