Kisses After Dark (36 page)

Shane blew out a deep breath as he shook his head. “I can’t listen to any more of this. I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s too little too late.”

“Shane, please. Please take some time to think about it. I love you as much as I ever did, and I always will. Everything I did was intended to keep you—and your family—out of the nightmare my life had become. I did what I did because I love you so much.”

Her words bounced around in Shane’s mind like painful darts. What he would’ve given a year ago to hear her tell him she loved him. But as he looked at her now, the woman he’d once planned to spend the rest of his life loving, all he could see—and feel—was the pain.

“I’m here for the night. Could we talk again in the morning when you’ve had some time to think about everything I’ve said?”

“How did you find me?” he asked.

“I went to your old boss. He told me you were working out here now. I asked around when I arrived and was directed here. The girl at the desk said you were away for the day but would be back later. So I waited.”

Filled with nervous energy, he rubbed at the late-day stubble on his face.

“The woman you were with… Is that serious?”

Katie… God, Katie. What she must be thinking. “It could’ve been, until you showed up and ruined everything.”

“I never meant to do that. I never meant to ruin everything for us or for you. I hope you’ll let me prove I’m not the person I once was. I’ve been sober for more than two years, and I’ll never go back to that life. I want the life I had back. I want
you
, Shane. You’re all I’ve thought about for two long, lonely years.”

“You can’t do this to me, Courtney,” he said gruffly. He felt like his insides were being squeezed in a vise. “I won’t allow it.”

“Please… All I’m asking for is a chance to show you I’m different now. Will you sleep on it? Please, Shane. After all we’ve been through, can you give me one night?”

“You didn’t even give me the courtesy of a phone call when you had me served with divorce papers on the day I thought I was picking you up to come home. Not even a
phone call
, Courtney.” He was nearly blinded by rage—mostly at himself, because he’d been happy to hear she’d never stopped loving him. What did it matter now? “And now you want me to put my life on hold,
again
, for you. I’m not going to do it. The answer is
no
. We’re
over
,
divorced
. You saw to that. Now go home and
leave me alone
.”

He headed for the doors to the sitting room, which were never closed the way they were now. Throwing open the doors, he came face-to-face with Laura and Katie, who were on their way out.”

“Shane,
please
,” Courtney said, pleading as she followed him.

“Courtney was just leaving,” he said to his sister as he brushed past them and went up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Katie, who’d probably forgotten by now what she’d ever liked about him.

“Go,” he heard Laura say to her former sister-in-law. “And don’t come back. You’re not welcome here.”

Shane went into his room and slammed the door, seething with the pent-up frustration of the last two hideous years of wondering why. Why, why,
why
. The answers hadn’t made anything better. They had only made everything worse because now he knew she hadn’t left him because she wanted to—or so she said.

For all he knew, she could’ve made up the whole story, hoping to win him back because single life hadn’t worked out the way she’d hoped it would. With her, you never knew, and he’d had more than enough of that madness during the years he’d spent with her.

After only a few days with Katie, he already knew he could trust what she told him. He already knew her better than he’d ever known Courtney. When he thought about the way he’d let go of her hand and sent her away earlier, he felt sick. “God, what’ve I done?”

He had to go after her and apologize. Maybe she’d never speak to him again—and he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t—but he had to tell her how sorry he was for the way he’d treated her.

Shane pulled open the door and found Owen standing there with a stormy expression on his face. “Owen… I need to go. I have to find Katie.”

“Not so fast.”

In the year he’d known Owen, he’d never seen him look so angry.

“Owen, please. I screwed up, but I was caught off guard. I sent Courtney away.”

“For now or for good?”

“For good. I care about Katie. I want to be with her, if she’ll still have me.”

“For now or for good?”

“I… I don’t know yet. I won’t make a promise I might not be able to keep. All I know is I like who I am when I’m with her. I like who she is all the time. She’s… amazing.” Shane felt like he was fighting for his life or something equally dramatic. All he knew was if he let Katie slip away, he’d regret it forever.

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

“I’m sorry to have disappointed you—and her. I never meant to. I was broadsided when I saw my ex-wife. I handled it badly.” Shane was going to lose his mind if Owen didn’t get out of the way and let him go find Katie. But with his brother-in-law’s broad-shouldered body filling the doorway, there was no getting out unless Owen decided to move.

“I like you, Shane, or you never would’ve gone out with her once, let alone done anything else with her.”

Shane wanted to tell Owen he liked him, too, but he thought it wise to stay silent until Owen had his say.

“She’s not like other women.”

“I know that. I like that about her. She’s… She’s sweet and genuine and honest.” And all those qualities mattered tremendously to him—more than they ever had before.

“I left you alone because Laura told me I could trust you with my sister.”

“You
can
trust me. I swear you can. I’m going to fix this with her, if you’ll let me out of here. When I set things straight with her, you won’t have anything to worry about where she’s concerned.”

“What if she doesn’t want to fix it?”

The thought of that made him ache fiercely, and that was when he realized that at some point during the last few incredible days, he’d fallen for Katie Lawry’s particular brand of sweetness. “Please, Owen…”

Owen stared at him for a long, uncomfortable moment. “Did you know that on Gansett Island, the guys always crash girls’ night?”

“They do?”

“Every time.”

“Are you crashing tonight?”

“Hell yes.”

“What about Holden?”

“My mom and Charlie are watching him.”

“Will you take me with you?”

“You promise I won’t regret it?”

“I promise you’ll never regret it.”

“Okay, then.”

“Can we go now?”

“Later.”

“How much later?”

“I’ll let you know.”

Shane knew defeat when it stared him in the face. He wasn’t going to be able to go after Katie until Owen had made him suffer first.

Mac and Maddie returned to the island on the five o’clock ferry, which had them driving off the boat right at six o’clock. They’d get some time with the kids and then Maddie would join girls’ night out already in progress. She glanced at Mac, whose eyes were fixed on the road. Judging by the tight lock of his jaw, he was tense and worried.

She hated being the cause of his distress. He wanted to talk about it, but she couldn’t. Not yet. Maybe never. But definitely not yet. How could she talk about how empty and sad she felt or how guilty? She’d told everyone what a big accident this baby had been. Thinking about that now made her cringe.

The night they’d conceived the baby, she’d gotten tipsy on champagne and had pounced on Mac. Thomas had caught them having sex, which had been the source of endless laughter among their family and friends. The whole thing had been one big laughfest, and now the joke was on her.

Adding to her guilt, she felt fine despite what she’d been through. The hardest part of the medical procedure had been the anesthesia that had left her feeling nauseated and exhausted. Other than a few aches and pains where her baby had once been and some spotty bleeding, she felt almost normal today. How was that possible?

She wiped subtly at a tear that escaped despite her determination to stop crying before she saw her children. Thomas had known about the baby. He’d have questions, and she had no idea what she would tell him. How did you tell a three-year-old that the baby brother or sister he’d been so excited about wasn’t going to be born now?

“What do you plan to say to Thomas?” Mac asked, reading her mind, as he often did.

“Nothing for right now. I’ll talk to him about it in a couple of days.”

“He’ll want to know where we’ve been.”

“We’ll tell him I had to go to the doctor on the mainland.” Maddie watched the island go by outside the passenger window. Thankfully, Hailey was too young to have even known about the baby. Maddie was grateful for that small favor.

Mac took the last right onto Sweet Meadow Farm Road. As their big, beautiful home came into view, Maddie was also thankful that they hadn’t yet bought anything for the new baby, so there was nothing to get rid of. They pulled up next to her stepfather’s cab and her mother’s small car.

The minute Mac put the truck into Park, Maddie was out the door.

“I would’ve come around for you,” he said when she was halfway up the stairs that led to their deck.

“I want to see the kids,” she said over her shoulder.

Thomas spotted her the second she opened the sliding door. He came running to her, and Maddie scooped him up, filled with overwhelming gratitude for him and his sister. “You came back!”

Maddie peppered his adorable face with kisses. “I told you I’d be back.”

“Dada come back, too?”

“He sure did. He’s getting our bags.”

Ned got up from his post on the sofa and went to help Mac.

Francine hung back, holding Hailey, trying to give Maddie a minute with Thomas. But Hailey was straining to get to her mother.

“Here I come, baby girl.” Maddie put Thomas down and went to take Hailey from her mother. Hailey snuggled into her arms the way she always did, and Maddie breathed in the sweet scent of baby shampoo.

Her mother’s hand on Maddie’s back conveyed a world of support and love that Maddie appreciated.

“Everything okay here?” she asked Francine.

“Everything is just fine.”

“Who’s ready for some bedtime stories?” Maddie asked.

“Me!” Thomas said.

“Let’s go, then.”

“You want me to do it, honey?” Francine asked, concern bracketing her mouth.

“I got it. Thank you, though. Appreciate the help the last few days.”

“I can come back tomorrow to lend a hand if you’d like.”

“No need. We’re good. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Francine nodded. “Glad to see you home.”

“Glad to be here. Come on, Thomas, you get to pick the first story.” He picked them all, but Maddie was preparing him for the day when Hailey would get a say, too. In total, she read four stories—two more than usual because she wanted the time with them—and got them tucked into bed.

Mac came up to kiss them both good night.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Thomas asked.

“You bet, buddy,” Mac said. “We’ll be right here.”

“Good.” He turned on his side, popped his thumb in his mouth and drifted off to sleep.

Mac left the room, but Maddie lingered for a few minutes, sitting on the bed running her fingers through Thomas’s soft hair. She remembered the sheer terror of learning she was expecting him after a brief relationship with his biological father that had ended when the man left the island abruptly. She’d been so alone then and so afraid for both of them.

Thomas would never remember any of that. He wouldn’t remember life without Mac McCarthy as the only father he’d ever know, and Maddie was thankful for that. Her son would know nothing but the comfort and security that came with being a McCarthy. At the same time, Maddie was determined that her children would be aware of those who were less fortunate.