Kissed by Reality (2 page)

T
he smile
on my lips has felt plastic and fake through this more than two-hour charade, but now it’s wiped clear off.

The world paused for a second, the crew, the cameras, even the air was stagnant. I wasn’t registering who was actually standing across the driveway. One second, two seconds, three seconds. And then I did, and everything came roaring back.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I can’t help the venom in my tone.

“CUT!” Chuck Morgan, the director of Mr. Right, yelled. His wiry frame and shock of white hair leaped out of his director’s chair, his overgrown beer belly jiggling as he moves. Chuck isn’t exactly overweight, his tall stature and constant chain smoking wouldn’t allow for it, but the late nights and anxiety-filled lifestyle he’s lived for the past 15 seasons don’t leave him healthy. “Finn, one, you can’t curse. And two, you’re supposed to be charming. You can’t treat the girls like that!”

“Yeah Finn. Aren’t you supposed to be the perfect man? Wouldn’t want those girls in there to see anything but the complete package all of these people have created.”

She actually smirks as she delivers her first line to me in months. Because that’s what it is. All lines. Even when the cameras weren’t on.

Leighton Aldridge.

"Did you know about this?" I point a finger at Chuck as the blood begins to boil in my veins. I had to direct my attention elsewhere. I knew if I looked at her, I'd break.

One confirming nod from him was all I needed. Looking around to survey the cast members, no one else looked surprised. "You fucking set me up!"

I knew I was throwing a temper tantrum, that the girls in the open-concept castle behind me could probably hear all of this. Good. It would show them what I was like if you played me for a fool.

"Alright, let's just calm down..." Mitchell, my main handler, touches my arm.

"Don't." My voice was clipped, harsh. My hands began to shake, and I felt the tidal wave of anger slowly rolling over my body, about to eclipse me.

I made it my mission to remain relaxed, laid back. No one else got to me this way. No one but her.

She must have sensed it, the panic/anxiety/anger attack that was infecting my system like toxic gas.

"Let's go talk." She said quietly, turning and heading for one of the production trucks.

I followed, wanting to kick her out, off the property. At least now I could handle it in private and wash my hands of this mess. There were 25 other beautiful, smart, interesting women inside. That's what I'd come here for. Not to deal with any more of her drama.

"What are you doing here, Leighton?" My tone wasn't any nicer when I made it behind the van that housed the camera equipment.

"You doing okay? It's been what, two hours standing?" She pointed to the pant leg that hid my prosthesis.

I tried to throw daggers at her with my eyes while not looking at her straight on. It was as hard as it sounded. "You don't get to be concerned about that anymore. You don't get to be concerned about me anymore. Get out of here."

"Look at me, Finn."

Fuck, now she'd said my name. It was like she'd cast a spell, I couldn't deny her anything when she said my name in that husky voice of hers. My head automatically turned.

The yellow dress hit me first. It wasn't severe yellow like the color of police tape or those overly bright workout shirts. It was soft yellow, the color of the rays of sun that fell across your bedroom floor on Sunday mornings. It hugged her curves, molding to her beautiful breasts then nipping in at her tiny waist only to flair out over those stunning hips and the most perfect ass I'd ever held in my hands. I couldn't see her curvy, toned legs; the material hid the scar on the inside of her right knee that I used to suck on and drive her crazy. My eyes moved up, roaming over the exposed skin on her chest and neck. Her flesh, olive and smooth, glowed in the perfectly dimmed twinkle of the candles and white Christmas lights.

It was a sucker-punch to my chest, my stomach
and
my balls when my gaze finally landed on her face. It was the type of face that had been pulled out of decades long ago.

The high cheekbones, the long black lashes that swept over them when she batted them innocently. Her big, hazel eyes that morphed colors in the changing light. A million memories looked back at me when our eyes connected. We knew each other's deepest fears, the darkest, blackest places in the other's soul. Or at least I thought I had.

Shallow breaths were coming from those pouty, red lips. Leighton had the kind of lips that would leave a perfect lipstick imprint on any surface. I knew this because I still had a kiss-branded shirt, way in the back of my closet that I refused to wash. Even though I despised this woman, I still felt my lips itch and yearn to lower onto her mouth.

And that black waterfall of hair. Fuck, I remember burying my fingers in it, gripping it with my fists. It was over one shoulder tonight, brushing the material of her dress in the exact spot her nipple lay underneath.

Leighton looked like an actress from the 1940's, the ones you saw in old black and white photos. Something about her looks, her unapologetic curves just whispered of a time where women were wholly feminine.

"I want you gone." I had to grit my teeth as I looked her in the eye. My words were so far from the truth. My head and heart were clashing, being this close to her. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to crash my mouth to hers or push her up against the side of the van and hike her dress up around her thighs.

"Oh come on, sweetheart. You know why I'm here. This will make for great TV. You had to know they were going to contact me, you've been in this game too long not to know that. Make nice with me, your ratings will go up, you'll be the biggest thing in Mr. Right history, and you can have all 25 of those little girls in there to play with."

She was right, I had thought about it in the back of my head. They were bound to contact her. Just like they'd contacted me to fill this spot after they learned we'd broken up.

My journey in the Mr. Right franchise actually started six months after Leighton's had. I was restless, working as a physical therapist to wounded war veterans like myself. I was lonely, bored and generally unhappy. I couldn't sleep through the nights, had nothing to look forward to. And then one of my buddies suggested auditioning for the new Mrs. Right season. I believe his exact words had been, "How could they say no to an amputee with dimples?"

So I'd auditioned, and he'd been right. Producers took to me like white on rice, and I'd become America's favorite military hunk on my season of Mrs. Right. The only problem was, Mrs. Right didn't pick me. Since I'd accumulated a little — okay I'll admit it was a big following — Chuck invited me to participate on the spin-off series, Right Now Island. It was basically a bunch of Mr. and Mrs. Right castoffs looking for love on a beautiful island resort. Hell, I wasn't going to complain if they paid for me to go on vacation with a bunch of gorgeous women.

Except I'd actually fallen in love with one of the gorgeous women. I'd told her everything, let her in, allowed her to fill every nook and cranny of my soul. Back in those days I used to think to myself, "Wow, this show actually does work sometimes."

How stupid I was. Because what had brought us together ended up dismantling us piece by piece. Crushing our relationship until there was nothing left but the dust from the once strong foundation we'd built.

So here I was. Come to forget about her by meeting a brand new crop of women. I had prayed and hoped in the months beforehand that this, finally
this
, would get those piercing chestnut eyes out my head.

Leighton rolled her shoulders back in that way that made her large, round tits push out. I couldn't help but drop my gaze just a moment.

Realizing what she was trying to do, I snapped them back up. "And what do you get out of this?"

She grinned. "Fame, of course. I get to be in front of the spotlight once more, ride the success of the show after it ends. This will be my last opportunity at this after all. After three appearances, your time is pretty much up. You know that, Finn. And there is always the chance I'll win."

"Over my dead body." My hands balled into fists. I wasn't making the same mistake twice. I should have fucking known she was here for the attention though. That's what she was always after.

"Well, its your choice. We are all here for you. Now, why don't we go mingle with the other ladies?" Her smile was pure devil as she began to strut away, adding an extra shake to her hips when she moved.

I caught her arm, the mere feel of her skin under my fingers sending shockwaves through my system. "I don't know what you're playing at Leighton, but don't get comfortable. You won't be here long."

She removed my hand from her arm, the spark in her eyes telling me more than any words ever could. "We'll see what Chuck has to say about that."

I
t was
imperative that I get the last word in at each interaction. Finn could not think he was getting under my skin, even though I could feel my cool exterior melt from the moment he laid eyes on me.

I moved around the castle, positioning myself in some of the girl's conversations, working to get the perfect view of him with the other women at all times. I kept a glass of wine in my hand but didn't drink it. Always play the part, but don't become to girl who drinks too much, especially on night one. I could pinpoint the two who were already slurring their words and tripping over the trains of their dresses.

I'd hugged Mitchell and Chuck as I made my way in, air kissing them like the pretentious Hollywood assholes they were. I would need to stay on my best behavior with them in order to be kept around. Not that they'd get rid of me quickly, I was too good for ratings. No, they'd persuade Finn to keep me around until the wolf pack dwindled down to about six or so. After that it would be his choice whether he kept me or sent me packing.

"I actually can't believe you're here." The brunette in purple next to me smiled, but it wasn't mean. More like curious and amused.

I looked around for cameras, but none were pointed at the small group of women I sat with. Girl in purple must have realized that already, and I knew right then that she was a sharp one. I could appreciate that, but it didn't mean I was going to paint her nails and braid her hair.

"You have to fight for the one you love, right?" I made moony eyes in the direction of Finn. I wasn't going to give this girl an inch.

She scoffed as if I'd said something hilarious and outlandish. "Erin Cates, nice to meet you in the flesh. Did a real doozy on that one, didn't you?"

I watched as she pointed to Finn, who was escorting a Latino woman out to the patio, his hand resting at the small of her exposed back. I gripped the stem of my glass a little tighter.

"Leighton, but I guess you already know who I am. And I wouldn't say that." Because he'd done a doozy on me too.

Camera men started for our group on the couches, which included Erin, myself, an African American woman in a silver long sleeve gown, a tiny blonde with the fakest tits I'd ever seen, another brunette with alabaster skin and a girl with an auburn pixie cut who'd decided to wear a suit instead of a dress. I could barely breath in my dress, and I envied her at that moment.

The brunette with creamy white skin spoke first, playing it up for the camera. "I am just so glad it's him, you know? He is just so dreamy! And a war veteran too? God he's the perfect catch."

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes and took a sip of wine instead. So maybe a little alcohol would be necessary to get through the night.

"Okay, Jackie, can you give us your opinion?" Katrina, the same producer from the limo, motioned to the African American girl.

She instantly corrected her posture. "He seriously is! I just...watching him on past seasons, I know he is The One."

Oh for fuck's sake.

"And how about you, Leighton? Your back here again after a year...why?" She prompted me.

I had to make this heartfelt without being over the top sappy. "A year ago, I came here looking for love. And a year later, I'm still doing that. Its just that, this time, I'm also looking for a second chance. Because that's what you do when you fall for someone, you fight hard to keep them. I'm here to fight for Finn."

The whole room was silent when I finished, and the tears sparkling in my eyes weren't pretend.

"Will you join me on the veranda, Leighton?"

I whipped my head around at the sound of Finn's voice. It wasn't exactly unfriendly, but anyone with a brain could hear the menace in his tone. But he had to keep up appearances for the cameras, and so indifference towards me was how he was going to play this.

I walked toward him, all eyes in the room glued to us.

"Remember you have a mic on..." I whispered in his ear flirtily as we made our way outside. His hand came to rest at the bottom of my spine as I leaned into him. The contact nearly erased the past four months, bringing me back to a time when his large, rough hands — the hands of a man who had been in war — possessed my body in a way no man's ever had.

Lust skittered through my nerve endings, sparking and settling low in my core. I had to bite my tongue to keep from sighing.

"Screw the mic, they'll edit this out anyway. Wouldn't want America's Darlings arguing like cats and dogs on national TV." He sat down on the bench by the pool, fisting his hands in his dirty blonde locks. "That was some great acting in there. America will be weeping for you. And if I don't pick you, I'll be the asshole."

Finn's eyes flashed as he looked up at me, lightning through a dark midnight sky.

I sat, moving closer to him than I should. He shifted, tension and awkwardness rolling off of his large frame. "I have to gain the audience's trust back somehow." God I sounded like a bitch.

The cameras invaded our private moment then, Chuck tutting about. "Can you two please have an interaction I can sell?!"

Finn glared at him while I sat, hopeful that he'd comply. When he turned to me, tentatively taking my hands in his, my heart nearly jumped out of my throat.

I saw the little red light go on, and I knew it was showtime.

"Hi." Finn gave me his shy smile, the one where both dimples popped out. If I was actually wearing panties, they would be wet.

"Hi you." I sent him a flirty, yet reserved smile as our eyes met.

"So...tell me what you've been up to since I last saw you?"

I hesitated, not expecting that question. "Well, I've been doing some blogging and modeling. But mostly I've taken over the cafe for my mom."

I'd been approached to rep so many different brands' products when I'd first come into the franchise, and I'd made good money doing it. But it got exhausting, always having to post and put my life out there, make sure I was on-point with brand messaging. Even my blog had suffered from my lack of enthusiasm lately. No, nothing was holding my interest like it used to. Except for being in my family's cafe. I felt needed and useful there; it was like a second home.

"How is your mom?" Finn smiled, and I knew it was genuine. He and my mother had been close for a time. She'd called him the son she never had, made his favorite pot pie whenever he was around, showered him with love.

"She's...uh..." I hadn't been expecting this, and for the first time in months, I'd actually forgotten about it. That's what Finn did for me, he kept me in the moment, he made me focus on nothing but him. Guilt punched me low in the stomach, and I struggled to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"What is it?" I could hear the worry in his voice as his hands tightened around mine.

I shouldn't tell him like this, but the concern in his voice made me soften. Made me want to confide in him. And even if it wasn't concern for me, I could hold on to that notion for just a minute.

"She got diagnosed with breast cancer in October."

Finn's eyes locked onto mine, his full lips parting as he gasped for air. I knew what that felt like. I thought I'd been suffocating when she came home from the doctor's in the fall and told me the news.

He gaped for a while, just holding my hand as I tried to communicate with him through my facial expressions. But then I saw his features harden. "Then why did you come here?"

I was waiting for that one. "Because she told me I'd kick my ass if I didn't. And that if I didn't come here to try and fight for you, it would be the biggest mistake of my life."

Finn seemed to be digesting that, but before we could get another word in to each other, Chuck yelled cut and Mitchell stepped in. "Okay, time for the Charm Ceremony."