Kissed By A Demon Spy (12 page)

“Garnet. Talk to me, sugar. What did I do?”

She backed up against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest like she was trying to hide her body. “It’s not you, it’s m-me.” Tears raced down her porcelain cheeks.

He retrieved her shirt and bra, hoping that made her feel a little better. “What do you mean,
it’s you?
You’re amazing.”

She donned her clothing and sat down on the crate, then dropped her head into her hands. “I’m…I’m disgusting. Dirty. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

He crouched in front of her. “I’ll be the judge of that. I liked everything about that kiss. And who in the living hell would ever say you’re disgusting?”

The look she gave him was so haunted it broke his heart. “I wasn’t just a kitchen slave. I…” Shadows darkened her beautiful eyes, dimming the gold flecks. Her voice was a broken whisper. “I was a thrall slave too.”

All the air rushed out of Aden’s lungs. A thrall slave? Fury buzzed through his veins. This beautiful, delicate female, kidnapped at fifteen, and forced into that life? A growl started low in his throat and he paced away to avoid scaring her.

He’d never wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of someone like he did this minute.

Her sobs echoed behind him. “I-I’ll go. I’m sor—”

In a blur of movement, he darted across the cellar and grabbed her arm. “The hell you will.”

She dropped her head. Her shoulders shook and her tears splashed a pattern on her tan work boots.

“A hundred and seventy-two years? As a fucking plaything for those—” He couldn’t say it. His breath sawed in and out of his lungs.
No
. That was too long for any female to endure. How had she survived?

“Not the whole t-time.” Her whole body trembled. She still stared at her feet. “It was only with Drant. When Draven took over, he didn’t want his father’s thralls. He l-let me cook.”

“
Let
you? That cocksucker.”

“Any slaves he didn’t have a use for, he k-killed. Girls I knew—ow!”

Aden’s gaze dropped to her shaking wrist. His fists had clenched in his effort to not explode. Too tight on her delicate skin. Goddamn it. “Aw fuck, baby. I’m sorry.” He pulled her into his arms, where she fit against him perfectly. Forcing the anger from his voice, he tried instead for reassuring. Not something he’d done very often. “Don’t cry, sugar. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Y-yes it was. I did horrible things.”

“He
made
you do things. Threatened your life. You had no choice. None at all. I’ve heard about how Drant and his sons treated their thralls. Those motherfuck—”

“You know?” she wailed. “Then you know the kind of life I led. The things I did. Oh God, I have to go.” She tried to pull out of his embrace.

He kept her right where she was. “Garnet. You’re not going anywhere. Look at me.”

“I can’t.” Her muffled voice drifted up from his chest.

“Yes, you can.”

“I’m ashamed. I h-hate that part of me.” Her words trailed off into a fresh round of sobs.

His rage traded places with compassion. An overwhelming need to assuage her fears, erase her thoughts of unworthiness, took over. “You don’t have to be ashamed of something you couldn’t control. Your choice was taken away from you. You were treated like property. That’s not your fault.”

“I-I should have tried something, anything…”

“You’re all of five feet nothing, a plant pixie, and that place is full of asshole guards armed to the teeth. You were trapped. Drant knew that. Nothing about this is your fault.”

“It feels like it is,” she whispered. “I feel like I’m tainted. Ruined.”

“Look at me.” He slid a finger under her chin and gently tilted her head back.

Her dark eyes swam in a vortex of defeated tears.

“Garnet. You’re beautiful. Talented and kind. A good mother.”

Her face twisted and she slumped in his hold as more tears raced down her cheeks. “I’m a mother,” she whispered. “Because I slept with a guard in return for protection.”

“What?” He pulled back, incredulous and furious. “Some asshole made you—”

“No, he didn’t make me. That’s the thing. He offered. His protection in exchange for…me.”

He snorted. “Fuck, that dick of a guard took advantage of you.” Anger sparked anew at her vulnerability. Aden bet this guard wasn’t the first to offer Garnet his
protection
.

“It was either take his offer or I’d be at the mercy of the others.” She pushed a tear-soaked strand of hair out of her eyes. “They were ordered not to beat or attack the slaves. But they did, all the time. They tried to get away with as much as they could. He—”

Aden laid a finger on her lips. “You don’t have to say it.”

She shook her head. “No, I do. Dash’s father—Marco—he was a mountain elf. He wasn’t as big as the other guards but he was the best marksman at the compound. He was nice to me. He never forced me. And he did look out for me. Guards who insulted me, or tried to touch me—they felt his arrows the next time they were outside.”

“Draven let him kill?” Aden couldn’t imagine the leader allowing his brawny guards to be picked off over a female.

“No. They just always happened to be too close to his target practice.” She sniffed. “Anyway, it was an arrangement. We both fulfilled our part.”

“And then you had Dash.”

“Yes.” She managed a weak smile through her tears. “He wasn’t part of the plan, but I can’t imagine life without him.”

“He’s a great kid.” Aden hadn’t spent much time around kids, never thought about having his own, but he’d already grown attached to Dash. The boy was perceptive and funny, despite being raised in hellish conditions. And all the credit for that went to the woman in front of him. “He’s all pixie? No elf?” When species interbred, resulting offspring were usually either the same as one parent or the other. But once in a while, a child was born with traits of both.

“It seems so. He coaxed the sage to grow today.” She traced a pattern down Aden’s chest. “Not that I’ve ever given him a bow and told him to shoot anything.”

“That can wait.” He stroked her hair. “You’ve done a kick-ass job with him. And you’re one brave, tough female.”

Her lower lip trembled and her brows furrowed. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “We all have things in our lives that we’re not proud of. Maybe we had a choice in the matter, and maybe not. We all have different stories. But yours is still unfolding. Look at where you are, after years in that shit hole. You’re back with people who adore you. People who want to see you happy.” He framed her face with his hands.
“I
want to see you happy. And I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen.”

Her eyes widened. “You just met—”

“Shh. I know we just met. But I already know that I will shift the goddamn stars in the sky if that’s what it takes to see you happy.”

She blinked rapidly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No, sugar.” He clasped her hands in his and brought them to his mouth, kissing first one and then the other. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

More rapid blinking, and this time it did nothing to hold back a new swell of tears. Aden tucked her to his chest again, wishing he could lift the weight of shame off her slight shoulders and carry it for her. He ached for the sweet girl whose childhood had ended in such a brutal way, hurled into an adulthood of chains and perverted force. He’d kill Drant all over again if he got his hands on that male’s remains.

He forced his thoughts away from that dangerous, violent edge, not wanting to alarm Garnet. Her sobs had died down to sniffles. Gods above, this woman deserved peace and happiness more than anyone he knew. She deserved stability and honesty. A male who would be at her side every night. Who didn’t need to hide the hazards of his job for fear that if she learned too much, she’d be in danger. A male who’d be there to help raise her son.

Not one who had to go out on a moment’s notice for espionage and recon.

Not one who got shot with poison arrows, all in a night’s work.

Why did that make him feel like he was losing something that he’d just been gifted?

She let out a huge sigh and looked up at him. “I didn’t mean for all of that to come out.”

“I’m glad you told me. You’re stronger than you realize.”

She shook her head. “I don’t feel strong.”

“You are, else you wouldn’t be here now. It took strength to survive Stroehm. And it took a lot of fucking guts to bust someone out of there.” He sifted his fingers through her hair. “Don’t know who it was, but someday I want to hear all about this jailbreak you helped with, and then how they managed to send help for you. Must’ve been someone important.”
And I want to thank them personally.

She reached into her pocket for a tissue and blew her nose. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ll save it for another day.” His hands skated down her arms to hold her hands.

“Please don’t say anything to anyone about all this.” Her voice was quiet, as if shame threatened to tug her under again.

“Never. That’s a promise.”

“Thank you.”

He pulled her into an embrace and held her for a minute, absorbing her warmth and sweet scent, wishing he could absorb her pain as well. “You ready to get back to dinner mode?”

“Oh my gosh, what time is it? I need to start the potatoes.” She rubbed her eyes. “Crap, we can forget about mashed potatoes at this point. I’ll do boiled red potatoes instead.”

“Whatever you want, sugar. I’m convinced it’ll be delicious.” He hefted a half-barrel of red potatoes onto his shoulders. “Anything else you wanna throw in here? Carrots?”

“Sure, show off.” She smiled and lobbed first a bag of onions, then garlic up into the barrel.

That smile.
Thank the gods it was back on her face. That made up for every dark thought he had. But it didn’t make up for the horror that lurked in her mind, coloring her view of herself.

He wanted to change that. But how could he, if he needed to stay away from her?

T
HE
DINNER
CROWD
WAS
LIGHTER
tonight due to the mid-week lull. Garnet had sent Dash upstairs at bedtime, then continued to chop and slice, zest and season, all on autopilot. Her thoughts remained in the root cellar with Aden, reeling from her revelations. She’d never intended to tell him. Never, ever.

Then again, she hadn’t planned to make out with him.
Who are you kidding, that was way more than making out
. She bit her lip, remembering how his skillful hands made her body come alive. Whatever she called it, every nerve still luxuriated in a sweet glow. And it helped dull the ricocheting shock that threatened to take over her mind.

I told him
. And the tenderness he’d shown as she cried had made her tears continue to flow. She didn’t know what to expect from Aden, but complete acceptance hadn’t been on her list.

He radiated sex and muscle. He probably had women falling all over themselves for him. He could have his pick. So why would he be interested in someone like her, with her cartload of baggage?

Used, abused, ruined.

She sighed as she spooned some red potatoes out of their boiling water and set them on a plate. Aden had been his usual helpful self all night, but something about the looks he gave her was different. He kept making sure she was okay, and he smiled often. But the raw, hungry looks he had aimed at her since their first kiss were missing tonight.

Did he not want her anymore? He’d spoken reassuring words. But now that a few hours had passed, had he changed his mind? Had it sunk in, the lows to which she had stooped?

No. He wouldn’t think like that. She believed his words, but she also knew time had a way of reforming opinions. Her gut told her he cared for her, but the old doubts circled like vultures, ready to pick away at her hopes.

Aden walked in with one meal ticket. “Last one.” He stuck it on the board. “Two more orders of roast beef and that’s it for the night. The kitchen will be closed.”

“Okay.” She gave a small smile and tossed a handful of cut potatoes into the pot.

He paced over to stand behind her. “You all right?” His strong hands landed on her shoulders, massaging gently.

“Yes.” She wanted to lean into his chest, absorb his warmth, and somehow know everything would be all right. But long-held fears pricked her like thorns. She wouldn’t have peace, couldn’t relax and let go, until she knew how he really felt. Glad she was facing away from him, she asked, “Are you?”

“Never better.” His easy chuckle reverberated through her back to her breasts, bringing heated memories of their afternoon to the forefront of her mind. Abruptly his hands were gone, and he leaned against the counter next to her. “You’ve been quiet.”

“I’m not used to telling my life story. It’s…it’s not easy.” She idly stirred the hot water. “Thanks for listening to me babble and blubber.” She had to give him the chance to tell her if she repulsed him, or if he didn’t want her around. “I know it’s a lot to take in, and if you decide that I’m…that you don’t want me here—”

“Garnet.” He stared at her, that piercing steel gaze that brought her every emotion to the surface. “Have you been listening to anything I’ve said?”

“Yes.” She searched his face, as if she could find the truth there. “You said all the right words.”

He scowled. “What does
that
mean?”

“You said nice supportive things. I get that you believe it here.” She pointed to his head. “But I can’t tell if you believe it here.” She pointed to his heart.

He stared at her, a torrent of emotions flaring in his eyes. A frisson of dread crawled up her spine.
Did I push him too far?

He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “Feel this.”

Under her fingertips, his chest vibrated with a strong, steady rhythm.

Steady
. She wanted to believe him. But nothing in her life had been steady except horror.

“I meant every word I said today. I meant it from here.” His voice rumbled over her, his words piercing the shell of fear around her heart. “You’re beautiful and kind and smart. Those are fucking facts. There isn’t an ugly bone in your body. I knew that the minute I laid eyes on you. And I will do whatever I can, and I meant what I said earlier, I will move the fucking stars around in the sky if that’ll make you happy.”