KISS THE WITCH (3 page)

That seemed to comfort him greatly. “I guess
you’re right.” he laughed lightly. “I mean, heck, she has never
even seen a guy in the buff before. Right?”

My heart dropped in my chest with those
words. I found myself flashbacking to an episode some time ago at
the apartment. I had just stripped down for a shower when Ursula
popped into the bathroom unexpectedly, catching me, as Dominic
might put it, in full buff. I smiled painfully at him until a reply
found its way to my lips.

“
That’s right,” I said,
lying through my teeth. “She’s never seen a guy in the buff
before.”

He sighed. “That’s good, because I don’t
think I could deal with knowing something like that.”

I made a mental note to remind Ursula not to
mention that unfortunate incident to Dominic ever, or at least not
until after the wedding. I listened with a wandering mind as
Dominic continued talking about Ursula, how pure she is; how
innocent and utterly remarkable she is. If he were not so wrapped
up in the goodness of Ursula, he might have noticed my attention
drifting from the conversation. I started thinking about that
awkward encounter, the surprise on Ursula’s face. The surprise on
mine. And Lilith actually encouraging Ursula to touch me––to touch
it. What was she thinking? I loosened my collar, suddenly feeling
uncomfortably hot. I was about to get up and excuse myself when
Carlos came in.

“
Hey guys. What’s
up?”

I saw that he had stopped at the vending
machine downstairs to pick up a Snickers. Some things never
change.

“
Carlos. You just coming
in?”

“
Me? No.” He hiked his
thumb and his candy bar over his shoulder. “I was on a call. Didn’t
Dominic tell you?”

I looked at Dominic. He made a face as
though he didn’t care much. “Oh, yeah. Tony, Carlos is on a
call.”

“
Not anymore,” said
Carlos.

“
What was the call?” I
asked.

He pulled up a seat next to Dominic. “Oh,
some sicko lifted a Jane Doe from the hospital morgue.”

“
A body?”

“
Ah-huh.”

“
What the hell
for?”

“
Beats me. He didn’t leave
a note.”

“
That is sick,” said
Dominic.

Carlos took another bite of his candy bar
and shook the stub at me. “So, what did I miss? Were you talking
about me?”

“
No. Dominic and I were
just talking about Ursula and how––”

“
The wedding,” said
Dominic, and the look he gave me told me to let it go. He turned to
Carlos and smiled nervously. “She wants to do a handfasting
ceremony.”

“
Handfasting? What is
that?” He looked at me. I had no idea either.

“
It’s an ancient custom,”
Dominic said. “A pagan thing. See, traditionally, the bride and
groom spend the last twenty-four hours before the wedding with
their hands tied together. It is supposed to strengthen their
commitment and symbolizes the eternal bond that they will pledge to
one another. It is where the phrase
tying
the knot
comes from.”

“
They walk around like
that all day?”

“
Yup, all day.”

“
What do they do when one
of them has to….”

“
Go to the
bathroom?”

“
Yeah.”

“
I don’t know. I guess
they go to the bathroom.”

“
Are you sure about that?”
I asked. “Did Ursula suggest this?”

“
Yes. She said she wanted
a handfasting wedding. I told her okay.”

“
Did you know what that
was?”

“
Sure I knew, but what
could I say?”

“
Well, that sucks,” said
Carlos. “I wouldn’t want anyone in the bathroom with me when I drop
a duce.”

I laughed openly. “Carlos,
trust me.
Nobody
wants to be in the bathroom with you when you drop a
duce.”

Dominic said, “Can we please not go
there?”

“
Ooh, that reminds me.
Dominic, Ursula has something for you. I was supposed to bring it
with me this morning and give it to you, but I forgot.”

“
What is it?”

“
A promise
stone.”

“
A what?” Carlos
asked.

Dominic said, “I know what it is. It is like
a river rock. She makes a promise on it, locks the promise in with
a spell and then gives it to me. That way I hold her promise for as
long as I want and she can’t take it back.”

“
The stone or the
promise?”

“
Both.”

“
Aww, that’s
sweet.”

“
Yes, sticky sweet,” I
said. “Sorry, Dominic. I’ll go back to the house later today and
get it for you.”

“
All right, but while
you’re there, don’t mention to Ursula that I said anything about
the handfasting thing.”

“
Don’t worry. I won’t.
Carlos.” I gave a nod. “Would you get the phone?”

“
What?” He alternated
glances between the phone and me. Two seconds later, it
rang.

He answered it. “Detective Rodriquez, Second
Precinct. How may I help you?”

Dominic continued. “Like I was saying, Tony,
I don’t want Ursula to think I have reservations about spending the
day before the wedding bond to her.”

“
I understand. I promise I
won’t say a word. But I will ask Lilith if there are provisions in
the custom allowing for bathroom breaks.”

“
No. Don’t. She will only
tell Ursula. You know, on second thought, forget I said anything at
all.”

“
Dominic, I don’t know why
you––”

“
That’s it,” said Carlos,
hanging up the phone with a heavy hand. “We have to
roll.”

“
Where to?”

“
That was a Mister
Ferguson at the Biocrynetix Laboratories down off Lexington. Seems
someone stole company plans to a top-secret project they were
working on. We gotta go check it out.”

“
All right,” I said,
wringing my hands briskly. “A nice white collar crime for a change.
This should be good.” I stood and came around the desk. “You
driving?”

Carlos pulled his keys from his pocket. “Can
we take my Corvette?”

I snatched the keys from his hand as I
brushed passed him. “Sure. I’ll drive?”

Out in the parking lot, I clicked the remote
alarm button on Carlos’ keychain. A black Corvette five spaces down
chirped twice. I looked at Carlos, convinced there must be a
mistake.

“
It’s black,” I
said.

“
Yes.”

“
I thought you had a red
Corvette.”

“
I do.”

“
But now you also have a
black one?”

“
Ah-huh.”

“
How come?”

“
I don’t know. I wanted a
black one.”

“
So, you have two
Corvettes now?”

“
No. I have
four.”

“
You have four
cars?”

He grimaced mildly. “No, I have seven
cars.”

“
Seven?”

“
Yes. Four vets, a
Mercedes, a dune buggy and a monster truck.”

“
You have a monster
truck?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Carlos, why on earth do
you need seven vehicles?”

He laughed. “Tony, I
don’t
need
seven
vehicles. Who needs seven vehicles?”

“
That’s my question. Why
do you have seven?”

He gave me that look again. “Because the
garage I bought has seven bays.”

I rolled my eyes skyward. “You win twelve
million dollars in a lottery and this is what you do with your
money?”

“
No. Not all of
it.”

“
Good. You still have some
left?”

“
Of course.” He punched me
on the arm and snorted when he laughed. “But it wasn’t twelve
million, you know.”

“
I thought it
was.”

“
I took the cash lump sum,
$4,669,714. That’s after taxes.”

“
My-my. However do you
manage?”

“
I get by.”

“
I’m sure.”

“
That reminds me. Can I
borrow a twenty?”

“
You
want to borrow money from
me
?”

“
Yeah.”

“
What for?”

“
The Vette needs
gas.”

“
And you have no money on
you?”

“
No, but I’ll give it back
to you on payday.”

“
You are kidding,
right?”

He blinked back a perplexing gaze. “I’m not
kidding. You know I’m good for it.”

“
Carlos, that’s not what
I….” I took a breath and counted to three. “Yes, of course. I know
you’re good for it.” I pressed the keys to his chest. “Maybe you
should drive. I think I’m going to be sick.”

I started toward the car. Carlos called out,
“Wait. If you’re going to be sick, maybe we should take the
sedan.”

Security at Biocrynetix Laboratories seemed
unusually tight for a private research facility. After obtaining
clearance from a guard at the gate, one at the front door and
another at the reception station, we still needed to show our
police IDs just to ride the elevator up to the research floors.
Even our own Justice Center did not sport that kind of security.
But then, at the Justice Center we did not deal in sensitive
R&D programs worth billions in market returns.

J.P. Ferguson, CEO of Biocrynetix
Laboratories, kept an office on the third floor overlooking a
manmade pond, complete with gazebo, a dock and a flock of
portly-bellied Mallards. He invited us in, and after introductions,
offered up a couple of seats across from his desk.

“
Mister Ferguson,” said
Carlos, “I’m the one you spoke with over the phone awhile
ago.”

“
Of course, Detective
Rodriquez. I told you then, and for the benefit of your partner, I
will reiterate. I wish to keep this investigation low-keyed, if you
know what I mean.”

“
You don’t want
publicity.”

“
Exactly. Our investors
hail from the private sector. They guard their portfolios fiercely
and prefer anonymity. We are on the cusp of introducing a serious
breakthrough in developments. Therefore, it remains imperative we
keep this news under wraps for our clients’ sake, so not to
compromise their leverage in post-production
negotiations.”

“
Negotiations?”

“
In controlling the
disposition of the product.”

“
I see.” Carlos jotted
something into his notebook, though I doubt it was more than a
series of question marks, for neither he nor I had a clue what
Ferguson was talking about. I waited until Carlos gave me the look,
effectively handing the torch off to me.

“
Mister Ferguson,” I said.
“Would you mind telling us what that is? The product, I
mean.”

He hesitated, clearly debating whether we
needed to know such specifics. I leaned forward in my chair, elbows
on my lap, hands folded between my knees. “Sir.” I kept my tone
hushed and deliberate. “We appreciate the sensitive nature of
corporate competition and your obligation to prevaricate the
esoterically challenged. However, I remind you, we are here to
investigate the theft of your company’s property. It will help
considerably in our investigation if we know what that property
is.”

He leaned back in his seat and offered a
reluctant smile. “Of course. You are absolutely correct.” He laced
his fingers behind his head, leveled his eyes more at me than at
Carlos and took a deep breath. “The property, as you call it, is a
compound called QE647, a synthetic food additive four-thousand
times sweeter than high-fructose corn syrup.”

“
A sweetener?”

“
You are
surprised?”

“
A little,” I said,
cracking a half smile. “So, our bandit has a sweet
tooth?”

He unlaced his hands and folded them upon
the desk. “You think this is funny?”

I shook the smile from my face. “Of course
not.” I looked at Carlos. He remained surprisingly composed. I
wanted him to take over, but he missed the relay pass, or perhaps
purposely dropped it just to see me squirm.

“
Detective, this is a
serious matter.”

“
I understand, Mister
Ferguson. I promise you we will take this case very seriously. So
please, tell us exactly what is missing.”

“
All of it.”

“
All of it?”

“
Detective, we only
produced a small amount of QE647 for testing, about 800 cc`s.
Whoever stole it also stole the digital research documents before
erasing our computer drives and backups. He then ran a
sophisticated shredding program on our entire systems to prevent us
ever reclaiming data off the erased drives. He left us nothing. We
are absolutely wiped out.”

“
I don’t understand. Who
could do that?”

“
Isn’t it obvious? It is
an inside job.”