Kiss of Crimson (25 page)

Tess‘s courage faltered, her head swimming with the remembered din of profanity and hysterical rantings, the clumsy racket of drunken stumbling, the splintering crash of breaking glass. And she could still hear the soft creak of her bedroom door that night her stepfather woke her from a fitful sleep, his breath stinking of liquor and cigarette smoke.

His meaty hand had been salty with sweat when he clamped it over her mouth to keep her from screaming.

―It was my birthday,‖ she whispered numbly.

―He came into my bedroom around midnight, telling me that he wanted to give me a birthday kiss.‖

―That disgusting son of a bitch.‖ Dante‘s voice was a vicious growl, but his fingers were gentle as he stroked her hair. ―Tess... Christ. The other night by the river, when I tried to do the same thing—‖

―No. It wasn‘t the same thing. It reminded me, yes, but it wasn‘t at all the same thing.‖

―I‘m so sorry. About everything. Especially what you‘ve been through.‖

―Don‘t,‖ she said, not willing to accept his sympathy when she hadn‘t gotten to the worst of it yet. ―After my stepfather came into my room, he got on the bed with me. I fought him, kicking him, slapping him, but he was much stronger than me and he pinned me down with his weight. Sometime during the struggle, I heard him draw in a sharp breath. He choked a little, like he was in pain. He stopped trying to hold me down, and I finally managed to roll him off me. He let go because his heart had seized up. He was turning deep red, then blue—dying right there on the floor of my bedroom.‖

Dante said nothing in the long silence that followed. Maybe he knew where her confession was heading. She couldn‘t stop now. Tess pushed out a long breath, approaching the point of no return. ―About this time, my mother came in. Drunk as usual. She saw him and she went hysterical. She was furious—with me, I mean. She screamed at me to help him, to not let him die.‖

―She knew what you could do with your touch?‖

Dante asked gently, easing her through it.

―She knew. She‘d seen it firsthand, when I would take away her bruises and heal the broken bones. She was so mad at me—she blamed me for my stepfather‘s heart attack. I think she blamed me for everything.‖

―Tess,‖ Dante murmured. ―She wasn‘t right to blame you for any of it. You do know that, right?‖

―Now, yes. I know. But in that moment, I was so afraid. I didn‘t want her to be unhappy. So I helped him, just like she ordered me to do. I started his heart and cleared the blockage in his artery. He didn‘t know what happened to him, and we didn‘t tell him. It wasn‘t until three days later that I discovered just how bad of a mistake I‘d made.‖

Tess closed her eyes and she was back in time, walking out to her stepfather‘s toolshed to look for a putty knife for one of her sculpture projects. She was taking out the stepladder, climbing up to search the top shelves of the old shed. She didn‘t see the small wooden box until her elbow knocked it to the floor.

Pictures fell out, dozens of them. Polaroids of children of various ages, in various states of undress, some being touched by the photographer as he snapped the picture. She would have known those terrible hands anywhere.

Tess shuddered in Dante‘s arms, chilled to her marrow.

―I wasn‘t the only one my stepfather victimized. I found out that he‘d been abusing kids in worse ways for what had to have been years, maybe decades. He was a monster, and I had given him a second chance to hurt someone else.‖

―Jesus,‖ Dante hissed, drawing her away from him now but holding her tenderly as he looked on her with a sickened, furious look. ―It wasn‘t your fault. You couldn‘t have known, Tess.‖

―But once I did,‖ she said, ―I had to make it right.‖ At Dante‘s frown, she let out a soft, wry laugh. ―I had to take back what I had given him.‖

―Take it back?‖

She nodded. ―That same night, I left my bedroom door open and I waited for him. I knew he‘d come, because I asked him to. When he crept in after my mother was asleep, I invited him onto my bed—God, that was the hardest part of all, pretending that the sight of him didn‘t make me want to vomit. He stretched out beside me, and I told him to close his eyes, that I wanted to repay him for the birthday kiss he‘d given me a few nights before. I told him not to peek, and he obeyed me, he was so damn eager.

―I straddled his waist and put my hands on his chest. All my anger rushed to my fingertips in a second, like an electrical current that ripped through me and directly into him. His eyes flew open, and he knew—the look of terror and confusion in his eyes told me that he knew exactly what I intended for him. But it was too late for him to react. His body spasmed violently, and his heart went into immediate arrest. I held on with every ounce of my resolve, feeling his life leak away. I didn‘t let go for twenty minutes, long after he was gone, but I had to be sure.‖

Tess didn‘t realize she was crying until Dante reached out and wiped away her tears. She shook her head, voice strangling in her throat. ―I left home that same night. I came out here to New England and stayed with friends until I was able to finish school and get a fresh start.‖

―What about your mother?‖

Tess shrugged. ―I never spoke to her again, not that she cared. She never tried to find me, and I was glad for that, to tell you the truth. Anyway, she died a few years ago of liver disease, from what I understand. After that night—after what I did—I just wanted to forget everything.‖

Dante gathered her close again, and she didn‘t fight the warmth. She burrowed into his heat, drained from reliving the nightmare of her past. Speaking the words had been hard, but now that they were out, she felt a sense of liberation, of sagging relief.

God, she was so exhausted. It seemed as though all her years of running and hiding had caught up with her at once, pulling her into a deep fatigue.

―I swore to myself that I would never use my ability again, not on any living thing. It‘s a curse, like I told you. Maybe now you understand.‖

Tears stung her eyes and she let them fall, trusting that she was in a safe harbor, at least for now. Dante‘s strong arms were wrapped around her protectively. His softly murmured words were a comfort she needed more than she could ever have imagined.

―You did nothing wrong, Tess. That human scum had no right to live as he was doing. You dispensed justice on your own terms, but it was justice. Never doubt that.‖

―You don‘t think I‘m... some kind of monster?

That I‘m not much better than him to have killed him like I did, in cold blood?‖

―Never.‖ Dante lifted her chin on the edge of his hand. ―I think you‘re courageous, Tess. An avenging angel, that‘s what I think.‖

―I‘m a freak.‖

―No, Tess, no.‖ He kissed her tenderly. ―You‘re amazing.‖

―I‘m a coward. Just like you said, I always run away. It‘s true. I‘ve been afraid and running for so long, I‘m not sure I can ever stop.‖

―Then run to me.‖ Dante‘s eyes were fierce as he held her gaze. ―I know all about fear, Tess. It lives in me too. That ‗seizure‘ I had in your clinic? It‘s not a medical condition, not even close.‖

―What is it?‖

―Death,‖ he said woodenly. ―For as long as I can remember, I‘ve had these attacks—these visions—

of my last moments alive. It‘s hellish beyond imagining, but I see it as if it‘s happening. I feel it, Tess. It‘s my fate.‖

―I don‘t understand. How can you be sure of that?‖

His smile was wry. ―I‘m sure. My mother had similar visions of her own death, and my father‘s too. They happened precisely as she envisioned them. She couldn‘t change what was to happen, or turn it back. So I‘ve been trying to outrun my own end. I‘ve been running from it forever. I‘ve kept myself insulated from things that might make me want to slow down and live. I‘ve never permitted myself to truly feel.‖

―There‘s danger in feeling,‖ Tess murmured. Although she could not begin to imagine what kind of pain Dante carried within him, she felt a kinship growing between them. Both alone, both adrift in their worlds. ―I don‘t want to feel anything for you, Dante.‖

―God, Tess. I don‘t want to feel anything for you either.‖

He held her gaze as his lips slowly descended on hers. His kiss was sweet and tender, something reverent. It broke down all of her walls, the bricks of her past and her pain tumbling away, leaving her naked to him and unable to hide. Tess kissed him back, needing more. She was cold to her bones, and she needed all the warmth he could give her.

―Take me to bed,‖ she whispered against his mouth. ―Please, Dante... ‖

CHAPTER Twenty-three

C
hase entered his Darkhaven residence from around the back, thinking it best not to alarm the whole house by coming in through the front, seething like an animal and covered in blood. Elise was up; he could hear her soft voice in the firstfloor living room, where she and some of the community‘s other Breedmate females had gathered.

And he could smell her too. His senses were heightened from the rage still boiling through him—the violence he‘d delivered—and the feminine scent of the woman he desired more than any other was like a drug shot directly into his vein. With a feral snarl, Chase turned in the opposite direction of his sister-in-law and headed for his private quarters. He kicked the door shut as he entered, his hands working furiously at the zipper of his jacket, which was ruined with the human‘s spilled blood. He tore the jacket off and threw it to the floor, then pulled off his shirt and discarded it too.

He was a mess, from the bleeding scrapes and contusions on his hands after beating Ben Sullivan nearly to a pulp to the fevered, savage thirst that made him want to destroy something, even now, some time after he‘d left the scene of his uncontrollable fury. It had been a stupid thing to do, attacking the Crimson dealer like he had, but the need to enact some measure of vengeance had been overwhelming.

Chase had given in to savage impulse, something he rarely did. Hell, had he ever? He always prided himself on his rigid, righteous ideals. His refusal to let emotion overrule his logic.

Now, in one careless moment, he‘d fucked everything up.

Although he hadn‘t killed the Crimson dealer, he had leaped on him with full intent for murder. He‘d bared his fangs and sunk them into the human‘s throat, not caring that in doing so he was exposing himself as a vampire. He had attacked savagely, but in the end he had brought his fury to heel and let the human go. Maybe he should have scrubbed his memory to protect the Breed from exposure, but Chase wanted Ben Sullivan to remember exactly what was waiting for him if he reneged on their agreement.

The entire situation was an outright betrayal of the trust he‘d been granted by Dante and the rest of the warriors, but Chase couldn‘t see where he had much choice. He needed Ben Sullivan on the streets, not tucked away under the protective custody of the Order. Repugnant as the idea was, he needed the dealer‘s cooperation in helping him find Camden. It was a bargain he‘d made the human scum swear upon over his own spilling blood. Sullivan was no idiot, and after the taste of vampiric fury he‘d gotten tonight, he‘d begged to help Chase in whatever way he could.

Chase understood that he was solo on his mission now. There would be some hell to pay with Dante and the others, but so be it. He was too far into this personal crusade to care about his own consequences. He‘d already forfeited his position at the Agency, the career he‘d worked so hard to make. Tonight he‘d given up some of his honor. He‘d give up anything to see this mission through. Flicking on the light in his bathroom, Chase caught a sudden, stark glimpse of his own reflection. He was blood-spattered and sweating, his eyes glowing like amber coals, the pupils winnowed down to slits by residual anger and his body‘s thirst to feed. The
dermaglyphs
on his bare chest and shoulders pulsed in hues of pale scarlet and faded gold, indications of his general need for blood. The small taste he‘d consumed when he bit Ben Sullivan‘s throat hadn‘t helped; the bitter copper tang lingering in his mouth only made him long to erase it with something sweeter.

Something delicate, like heather and roses—the blood scent he could trace coming closer to his apartments even as he stood there, glaring at the feral creature who stared back at him in the mirror. The hesitant knock on the door outside went through his body like cannon fire.

―Sterling? Have you returned?‖

He didn‘t answer. Couldn‘t, in fact. His tongue was cleaved to the roof of his mouth, his jaw ground tight behind the pained sneer of his pale, curled-back lips. He had to clamp down hard on his mind to keep himself from throwing the door open with the force of his will.

If he let her in now, unbalanced as he currently was, nothing would stop him from pulling her into his arms and slaking the twin hungers that were raging within him. He would be at her vein in a second; little more than that and he would be pushing inside her, damning himself completely. Proving to himself just how far down he could sink in the course of one night.