Kiss Me When the Sun Goes Down (42 page)

“No...”  It came out as a rush of air, no sound behind it as she sank back to the ground, her knees giving out.

“There, my judgment is given,” Jakob turned to me, full of satisfaction.  Even Bishop nodded in approval. 

“That seems fair to me.”

“No, that’s not enough,” I protested.  “A hundred years?  So what.  She can do plenty of damage in that time whether she’s the Elder of Vetis or not, and now she’s got a reason to really hate me.  I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder waiting for her next harebrained plot to hatch for the next century.”

“I will simply order her not to seek revenge against you,” Jakob shrugged, focusing his will on Carys.  “You will not seek retaliation.  You will never harm Anja or her loved ones ever again.”

“Never again,” Carys mumbled blankly.

As much as that was music to my ears, I wasn’t done.  “I still want a punishment that’s more lasting.  She’s too dangerous to be left like this.  I’m not just worried about myself, but for all the havoc she can cause.  With great power comes great responsibility, and she’s seriously lacking, you said it yourself.”

“What do you suggest,
älskling
?”

“I want you to remove her ability to compel other vampires.”  That ought to clip her claws. 

“You couldn’t...”  Carys found her voice as she stared up at us in horror. 

“I agree,” Jakob replied, embracing the idea quicker than I thought he would.  But he wasn’t done.  “This is a power that is easily corrupted, and we may all see the results of her folly.  But were I to remove it from one childe, I must remove it from you as well, Anja.”

“Wha... huh?” I blinked in confusion as the conversation took a different turn.  “Me?  Since when have I ever given you cause to doubt my judgment?”

His hands came up to cut off my protest.  “I must have balance.  If I do this, you will both be bound by it.  Is this what you would truly choose, petal?”

The idea that he’d even ask me that burned my guts like a belly full of five alarm chili.  All of the good I’d accomplished with Carter, that would be completely over.  Being able to correct any dangerous or jerky behavior would be out the window, and I’d have to rely on my powers of persuasion to get what I wanted.  Then again, what gave me the right to impose my will against others?  He was right, it was a dangerous power to wield, no matter whose hands it was in. 

“Fine, do it.”

“Anja, are you sure about this?” Bishop frowned, but I knew I’d made the right decision.

“Where would we be right now if I’d never had the power to compel other vampires?  We never would’ve broken up in the first place.  Sure, it’s helped me get out of a jam or two, but mostly it’s been a pain to keep secret.  Plenty of other vampires live without it, and they get along fine.”

“You’re not a normal vampire though, you’re the Elder of the West.”

“Which makes it even more dangerous, if you think of it like that.  I don’t want to end up like Bakareh.”  I turned to face Jakob.  “Do it.  If this is what it takes to strip Carys of her ability, then I should be willing to live by the same rules.”

“Once more you make me proud,
älskling
,” Jakob smiled, his hand landing on my shoulder in benediction.  Then, before I could say another word on the matter, I felt his will take hold of me as he addressed us both.  “You will not use your compulsion on another vampire ever again.”  That was all it took.  He didn’t remove the power so much as block the ability to use it.  I didn’t feel any different, but Carys started to cry softly.

“Remove yourself from my sight,” Jakob addressed her coldly.  “Do not show yourself to me before the century is done or you will suffer my wrath.” 

Carys got up and slipped out without another word, her head deeply bowed in misery.  I couldn’t help but wonder if that was really the last I’d see of her for a while, or if her vindictive nature would somehow find a way around Jakob’s compulsion. 

Still, it took a big load off of my mind, and I threw my arms around Jakob’s shoulders in an impulsive hug.  “Thank you.  I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

Jakob held me tight, breathing in against my hair as if he enjoyed my scent.  “Do not speak of it again, that is all I ask.”  Releasing me, he lowered himself onto his chair with a heavy sigh.  “Now then, petal.  You are well from your ordeal?  Bishop?  Do you seek my sacrament?”

“Actually, I was sort of hoping you might offer that to Carter.”  I looked down to where Bishop had set him on the floor.  “He took an arrow to the chest, then fell a couple of stories.  He’s in pretty bad shape.”

“If you wish it, then I shall heal him,” Jakob nodded, and Nelleke spoke up for the first time, her lips turned down in disapproval. 

“You are being sure of this,
far
?”

“It is fine,
dóttir.
” 

There was an extra note of tension between them, and I wondered if we’d interrupted something.  “Is this a bad time?  Because, as much as I hate to say it, he’ll keep like that if you need us to come back later.”

“No, it is fine,” he waved away my offer.  “I will need to feed soon, that is all.  There will be much blood once you remove that arrow, I think.  Bring him to the bathroom.”

There
was
a lot of spilled blood, and I shuddered to think how badly Carter would’ve suffered without the power of Jakob’s
Ellri
blood.  But once he understood what was going on, Carter lay still, accepting Jakob’s care until the worst of his injuries were healed.  It might be a few days until he was up to full speed since he refused to drink from humans, but he’d live, and that was the important part.

Once we saw that Jakob had Carter well in hand, Bishop and I slipped into the next room where I fed him some of my blood as discreetly as possible.  It was tempting to turn it into something more, but I think we both wanted more privacy before we shared something like that again.  For the moment, Carter was on the mend, we didn’t have to worry about Volkov or Carys ever again, and Bishop and I had lived to tell the tale.  For once, all was right with the world. 

“A
re you sure about this?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed as Carter zipped the ginormous duffel full of weapons closed.  The thing was twice as big as his bag of clothes, of course. 

He still wouldn’t look at me, and that bothered me more than I liked.  “I can’t stay here.  Especially if you’re not gonna be around.”

“I know, but I’ll be back.  Just because I’m stepping down as Elder doesn’t mean I don’t want to live here eventually.  We’re just taking an extended vacation.”  I still had no idea how long we’d be gone, and that was the beauty of it.  No strings, no responsibilities.  Bishop and I were ready to make a clean break without so many demands on our time for once.  The council wouldn’t be too happy about it, but I was absolutely sure this was the best decision I could make. 

That didn’t slow him from packing.  “I can’t sit around waiting for you.  I have to have a purpose of my own.  I’m more than your sidekick.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.  Of course you’re not my sidekick,” I frowned, worried that there was something more behind his sudden departure.  “I didn’t expect you to put your life on hold, but... I thought you’d made a home here.  Maggie and Tucker will be back soon, and Hanna and Mason.” 

“I told you before, I’m not that guy.  I need to keep moving.”  The last zipper made it sound so final.  He lifted his blue eyes to mine, pleading with me to understand.  “It doesn’t mean you’re not the closest thing I’ve had to family since I got all fangy, and that’s not nothing to me, sunshine.  But I need to feel like I’m making a difference.”

“You do.”  Didn’t he know that?  How long would the burning need for penance keep him from settling down and building a life for himself?  “You know you’ve saved a ton more lives than you ever took by now.”

“That’s not the point.  The point is, there are too many people out there still taking them, and I can’t stay here when I can do something about it.”

“I understand,” I nodded.  It probably wouldn’t take much convincing for me to join him in the hunt again if I didn’t have Bishop in my life.  But I’d fought hard for my shot at happiness, and I wasn’t about to give it up.  “You always did have that Batman thing going on, no matter how hard I tried to steer you to the Marvel side,” I smiled, walking to the edge of the staircase when he hefted his bags.”

“Call it Deadpool then,” he grinned back.  “I always did like the mouth on that guy.”

“Yeah, I can see that about you.”  We stood there, neither one of us moving.  I knew I was stalling, but I couldn’t help it.  “What are you going to do then?  Go back to hunting on your own?”

Carter shrugged.  “It’s what I do.  Not that you’ve made it easy on me.  Why couldn't you have removed your compulsion on me before Jakob took it away?  Who ever heard of a vampire hunter who can’t actually
kill
vampires?  How the hell am I supposed to survive if I can’t defend myself?”

“You can defend yourself, you just can’t kill anyone.  Not on purpose anyway,” I added, and immediately regretted saying it as a light came into his eyes.  I could tell he wouldn’t be squeamish about experimenting with how far he could push the constraints of my compulsion.  “Besides, you weren’t in any shape for me to remove the compulsion anyway, you were dead to the world at the time.”

“Fine, but what if I feel like some fish and chips?  I can’t go to England ever again?  What kind of a life is that?”

I smiled, refraining from pointing out that he didn’t eat either of those things any more, but I appreciated his effort to lighten the mood.  “Maybe you’ll have to expand your horizons a bit and find a new favorite.  I hear shawarma is pretty tasty.” 

Carter snorted, but didn’t say more as he marched forward, and I was forced to go down the stairs or move out of the way.  I chose to lead the way.  We didn’t speak again until we reached the foyer, and it struck me how empty the house was now.  No Maggie, no Tucker, no Gunnar, no Lee.  No Rob, no Marcus, no Ellie, no Isak.  Maybe it was for the best if we all left the place.  Maybe it was cursed. 

“What about the hole in my foundation?” I remembered suddenly. 

“I told you, it’s only the subfloor.”

“It’s still a muddy hole, Carter.  Can’t you at least stick around until you finish your tunnel?”

“What for?  You figured out how to escape without it,” he grinned.  “You can go ahead and fill it in, you won’t hurt my feelings.”

I wasn’t sure if that meant he didn’t plan to come back or not, but I decided not to push the issue any further.  Me harping about it wouldn’t make him return any quicker. 

“Where will you go?” I asked as we reached the front door, and he shook his head. 

“I don’t know.  Up north maybe.  Portland or Seattle.  Maybe I’ll make my way East eventually.”

“Don’t stay away too long then.  And don’t be afraid to pick up the phone every now and again.”

“Sure, Ma.  And I’ll remember to change my socks and pick up my room too,” he cracked.  “Can I go now?”

I laughed because he wanted me to, even though the idea that I wouldn’t see him every day anymore tore me up inside.  “Fine, I’ll walk you out.”

Carter dropped his bags on the front porch and wiped his hands on his jeans, before shoving them deep into the pockets of his hoodie. 

“Be safe,” I said, knowing he wouldn’t like me getting all emotional on him. 

“Stay frosty, sunshine,” he replied with a tight lipped smile, looking up as Bishop appeared at the top of the stairs.  “Don’t let Dumbo call the shots just ’cause you’re not the Elder anymore.”

“I’ll remember that.”  I didn’t care if he wanted to keep his distance, I hugged him anyway. 

Carter froze, his hands still stuffed in his pockets as if he didn’t know what to do with a hug.  For just a moment, he relaxed against me, before he unstuck and pushed me away again.  “Okay, okay, enough with the mushy stuff.  I’ll see ya.”

“Bye.”

Bishop came down and offered his hand.  “Carter.”

“Bishop,” he replied, shaking it briefly before he picked up his bags and left.

“Bye,” I called out again, but Carter didn’t turn around, he just kept on walking. 

* * *

“A
re you sure about this?” I asked Bishop, echoing my question to Carter. 

Bishop stroked the small of my back in tight circles.  “I am.  Why, are you having any doubts?”

“No,” I replied without hesitation.  “I can’t stand the thought of one more person dying because of me, not a single one.  Maybe if I try being an ordinary vampire for a while, I won’t be on quite so many hit lists.”

“You’ll never be ordinary to me.”

“Aw, when did you get to be so sweet?  I distinctly remember you being more of a dumbhole.”

“I’ll have to try harder to live up to my reputation then,” he replied, the corner of his mouth tugging up slightly.  “You want me to push you away again for old time’s sake?”

“No good, I’ll just beat some sense into you this time.  I’m not giving up without a fight ever again.”

“That’s my girl,” he approved, his smile stretching wider.  “The same goes for me.  I’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth if that’s what it takes.”

He said that now, but I had to wonder how long it’d be before our past responsibilities came knocking.  “You don’t think you’ll miss it?  You’ve been working for the Order for so long.  Just because I’m quitting doesn’t mean you have to give up your job too.”

“There are parts of it I’ll miss,” he admitted with a half shrug.  “But it’s only a job, and I’m finally in a place where I want more.  I want to figure out what it means to be alive again.  How to find the balance between art and order.”  Bishop reached for my hand, his thumb stroking over the promise ring as he threaded his fingers through mine.  “I want a life with you.”

I wanted those things too, more than anything.  We’d earned our shot at a new life together.

Felix appeared at the end of the hallway, all formality instead of his usual lighthearted charm.  “They’re ready for you, Your Grace.” 

“Here we go,” I breathed, a flutter of nerves attacking with sudden force so that I stood stock still until the queasiness passed.  Even though I knew there was nothing the council could do to stop me, I still wasn’t looking forward to the actual business of quitting.  But they deserved more than a Dear John letter after all of their support.