Kiss Me, Katie (16 page)

“You want Katie McCoy to replace him permanently but you’re not sure if she’ll do it, and you’re worried about how that will make you look, right?”

“That’s the gist of it. It feels like the right decision, and I know that I can do whatever I want, but I’ve worked hard to build this reputation. I don’t know what to do, Caro, and I don’t want to mess it up. I need a woman’s point of view. Help me,” Blake finished softly.

“Have you talked to Katie since she went home?”

“No. I hate myself for it, you know, but I haven’t called. I didn’t know what to say, so I chickened out. The last time I saw her, I messed things up so badly. God, I’m such a coward.”

“Well, honestly, ignoring her for weeks doesn’t look so good. I’m willing to bet that she was expecting to hear from you. I think that there’s still hope, though.”

“You do?”

“Sure I do. There’s always hope. I saw how she looked at you. Katie McCoy is clearly a girl in love. Our problem now is that she’s also a girl who has been let down.”

“By me,” Blake whispered. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a big breath, his cheeks puffing out.

“Well, sure, but don’t be too hard on yourself. No use in going over the could-haves and the should-haves. It’s time to think about how you can change things. From what you’ve told me, you asked Katie to stay with you, but she wouldn’t quit her band without a commitment, right?”

“That’s right. I was so stupid, Caro. How could I have thought that she would give up everything else in her life for me when I offered nothing in return? All she wanted was for me to admit that I could see myself falling in love with her and she would have stayed. I couldn’t even give her that. I’m such an idiot.”

“When you say it out loud, it does kind of sound like she didn’t have any other choice.”

“I know. I was wrong and I get it. When the moment was there, I couldn’t let her bet everything on me. I wasn’t sure, I guess. I don’t know. I’ve never had to do this before.”

Caroline chuckled. “You’ve never had a woman challenge you before, huh? I guess most women are usually more than happy to do whatever you want. Katie’s different, though. She demands more from you. Do you think you can rise to the challenge?”

“I really do. If I don’t get her back in my life, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m miserable without her. I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight, I can hardly drag myself out of bed in the morning. It’s terrible.”

“Well, we could start by offering her the contract and letting Chet go,” Caroline suggested gently.

“Do you think she’ll take it?” Blake allowed himself to feel optimistic.

“There’s only one way to find out. I can get the paperwork started, but I think that the offer should come from you. Of course we should hold off on handling Chet until you get an answer. That’s going to be a whole different issue, and it might require some work on your part to repair any damage to your reputation. Be realistic, though, because this could be a tough road all around. Don’t expect her to jump at the offer as soon as you call. I’m sure that she’s been wondering why you haven’t checked on her, and she might be pretty upset. You might have to grovel a bit, you know.” Caroline smiled at the hopeful look on Blake’s face.

“All right, I’ll do it. I have to get her back. Don’t say anything until I tell you. I don’t want word to get out until it’s settled.”

“All right then. I’ll leave you to it. Let me know what happens,” she said as she stood to leave. She picked up her BlackBerry and her blazer and crossed the room. “Oh, and good luck,” she said as she let herself out.

Blake held his phone in his hand, took a deep breath, and dialed Katie’s number before he could chicken out.

• • •

Katie was polishing lenses in her father’s office when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Her heart stopped for a moment when she saw the 615 area code. A Nashville number.
Blake
.

She had deleted his contact information from her phone after she had been home for over a week with no call from him. It was too painful to see his name when she scrolled through looking for someone else. She had told herself that she’d only get over him if she forgot about him completely. She hadn’t listened to the radio or read any celebrity news since she had come home, but he was always on her mind anyway.

She stared at her ringing phone for a moment, not sure if she should answer or not. Knowing that she’d have a voicemail from him if she didn’t was enough to make her take the call. She didn’t want to be tempted to keep a recording of his voice, only to torture herself with it.

“Hello?” She tried to steady her voice, but was sure that she sounded as nervous as she felt. She looked down at the pair of glasses she was holding and saw that her hand was shaking.

“Katie, it’s Blake.” His rich voice came through the phone line and Katie felt like her knees would buckle from underneath her. “Don’t hang up.”

“I won’t.” Her voice trembled. She reminded herself to breathe. In and out. In and out.

“I don’t know where to start, but I need to talk to you. Is now a good time?” He sounded hopeful.

“Sure, it’s fine.” Katie put the glasses she had been polishing back on the rack and went to her father’s office for some privacy. She closed the door behind her and sat down at his desk. “I’m here,” she said.

She heard Blake take a deep breath and let it out before he began. “First, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how we left things, and I’m really sorry that I haven’t called. I don’t know why I didn’t. Everything you said about me was right, and you were right to leave me. I’ve been thinking about you every moment since you left, and I guess I was just too chicken. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for that.” Katie wanted to blurt out that she loved him, that she missed him, to tell him that she would take the first plane to wherever Blake was right now. It was time she let him do the talking for once, though.

“I feel like such an idiot. I never should have let you go like that, and I can’t believe that it happened. I know that I haven’t shown it, but I still care about you. I’m crazy about you, and I’ve been losing my mind since you’ve been gone.”

“I still care about you too, and I’ve missed you. Being back home and not hearing from you once has been really hard.” Her voice broke a bit on the last word. Saying it had been really hard was an understatement, but Katie couldn’t bring herself to tell Blake that he had crushed her. “I’m glad that you called, though. It’s really great to hear your voice again.”

She heard Blake take another deep breath. “Wow, okay. So, here goes. I need a fiddler and I want to offer you the job.”

“What about Chet?”

“His mother is really sick and he needs to be with his family. I need to fill his spot, and I’m sure we could find someone else, but I don’t want anyone else. I want you.” Blake’s voice was like a balm to Katie’s frazzled nerves. It would be so easy to just say yes, to just follow her heart. She tried to remind herself how badly Blake had let her down, how hard it had been to put her life back together, but the pull she felt to him hadn’t diminished a bit since she had come home.

“You need a temporary replacement?”

“That’s where it gets tricky, and why you might not want to say yes. You know how my band is set up, the guys are hired to work and have no obligation to stay on after their contract ends. I’ve treated them like we’re in a band together, though, rather than handle them like hired musicians. He’ll probably expect to take a short leave and return when things are resolved with his family. In this case, I’d like you to take his place permanently, and I know that will bother some of the guys.”

“You’d let him go for me?”

“I don’t think you have to worry too much about Chet Wilson. He’s been in the business a long time, and finding another gig shouldn’t be a problem for him. It’s not like I’d be throwing him out in the cold without a second thought. There will probably be some damage to my reputation, and there’s a real chance that the band won’t welcome you with open arms.”

“I see. So you think I should leave Sterling to work for you in some hostile work environment?” She kept her tone light, teasing Blake as her mood improved.

“When you put it like that, it sounds pretty lame.” Blake sounded adorably crestfallen.

“I’ll do it.” She surprised herself with the answer. Her rational side was telling her to hold out, to be practical, but her heart was the one that answered.

“Yes? You’ll come?” Blake sounded so happy.

“Yes, I’ll come. Where are you?” Katie smiled. Between now and when she arrived, she would have to get a hold on her heart, rein in her excitement, but for now she let the happiness wash over her.

“Kentucky. I’m in Lexington tonight, Louisville tomorrow. You can take as much time as you need, but the sooner you get here, the better. Just decide when you can join us and we’ll let Chet go. He’s under contract until I say differently, so it’s up to you when you come on board. I’ll ask Caroline to call you, and she can send you the contracts and make all your arrangements. She’ll help you figure out what you’ll need and can work out everything. I’ll send Chet on his way just as soon as I know when you’ll be here.” Blake sounded like a kid on Christmas morning.

Katie laughed, and it felt good to be happy again. “Have Caroline call me, and I’ll work it out with her. Thank you for the opportunity. I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Great, that’s great. I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. See you soon.” She ended the call and sat back in her father’s rolling chair. A framed photo of her with her parents caught her eye. She was probably eighteen or nineteen and they were beaming at the camera on either side of her. They were so proud of her back then. Katie hoped that she would make them proud now.

Her real concern was leaving Sterling. She picked up her phone and dialed Charles’s number, shaking with tension as she waited for him to answer. Her leg bounced so hard that she bumped her knee on her father’s desk, and the framed photo of Katie and her parents fell over.

“Hey Katie,” Charles answered.

“Hey.” Katie had to tell them immediately; there was no time to waste if she was going to join Blake, but her throat closed around the words as she tried to tell Charles what she had decided. “I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?” He sounded alarmed, and Katie took a deep breath.

“I’m leaving Sterling. I’m going to work for Blake. I’m so sorry.”

Charles was quiet for a moment, as though digesting her news. “Well kiddo, this is a real surprise. I don’t know what we’re going to do without you. Are you sure about this?”

“I love him,” she almost whispered. She cleared her throat and sat up straighter. “I’m sorry. I really am. I hope you find a new fiddler, someone even better than me.” She laughed a little, a sad sound.

“You’re irreplaceable, darlin’, and I’m sorry to see you go. We can’t compete with true love, though. Wouldn’t even try.” Charles’s voice held a smile, its warmth reassuring Katie that their friendship wasn’t lost.

“Thank you. I guess I’ll need to suck it up and tell the guys tonight. I’m afraid they won’t be as easy on me as you were.”

“There’s only one way to find out, you know. Best to do it quickly, like ripping off a bandage.”

“You’re right. I’ll see y’all tonight. I’ll try not to drive myself crazy worrying about it until then.” They ended the call, and Katie slumped in her father’s office chair.

Charles had always been easier to talk to than the other guys. There was every chance that they wouldn’t let her off the hook as easily as he had. She was prepared for the worst.

• • •

Four days after the call from Blake, Katie was on a plane to Indianapolis, Indiana to join the tour. Caroline had faxed contracts, schedules, sheet music, and lists full of information to Katie at her father’s office. Katie’s family physician had given her a clean bill of health, and her parents were excited for her.

She hadn’t exactly given them the whole story when it came to her whirlwind romance with Blake Jackson. All they knew was that he was generous, caring, and concerned about their daughter. Now he had offered her a long-term contract to work on a major tour, so he could do no wrong in their eyes. The McCoys had always been supportive of Katie’s attempt to make a living in the music industry, but they seemed especially relieved now that she had a job with such a big act.

A flight attendant brought Katie the diet soda she had ordered, and she sipped from the plastic cup as she looked out the window over the clouds. As she left Texas behind, Katie tried to distract herself from thoughts of reuniting with Blake. She would have to keep things as professional as possible when she got to Indiana. She’d ride on the band’s buses, she would attend rehearsals, she would do whatever she needed to do, but she would have to be much more careful with her feelings. Blake Jackson’s band was the real deal, and there was no easy way out if things didn’t go well between them. She would be on the road for six months with Blake and couldn’t afford to have her heart broken again.

Maybe he was serious about wanting to mend things between them, maybe he would be ready to make everything right. All Katie knew was that she would wait to see what he did and said before she embarrassed herself again by wearing her heart on her sleeve. Sure, he was sorry that he hadn’t contacted her when she went home, but she had to remind herself that he could have. He just didn’t.

Katie didn’t know if her heart could handle another dose of Blake’s inability or unwillingness to commit. Forcing herself to move on with her life was hard enough when she was on her own, miles away from Blake. This time there would be no escape back home. This time she’d be forced to see him every night on tour, mere feet away from her on the same stage.

Katie looked down on her tray table at the beverage napkin she must have shredded. She took a deep breath and wished that she had asked for rum in the diet soda, or that she knew how to meditate or something. Why did she think that she could throw herself back into the relationship pressure cooker with Blake? Who was she kidding? And why didn’t she stop to think about what it would be like to be on the road with a brand new band? Would they even like her? Would they miss Chet and resent her? Could she even do this? Sure, Katie knew Blake Jackson’s songs, but she had never played them with anyone, only alone in her house. She slumped in her chair and groaned. So much for being rational.