Kiss List (19 page)

“Well this is a nice surprise,” a voice said. “If I can make a suggestion, it is generally more comfortable on top of the bed.”

I jumped in terror at the sound of another person in the room and smacked my head on the bottom of the bed. I swore again and tried to shove myself out from under the bed. I hit my head on the frame. I growled in pain, panicked, dropped to the ground and rolled out. My eyes immediately darted up in horror as my heart stopped beating.

The light illuminated a glistening, wet, stunning body of a shirtless boy with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was damp and dark but his beautiful light blue eyes were unmistakable. I wanted to die. Aaron Caldwell, the hottest boy in the school, had just caught me snooping around under his bed.

No, wait, that wasn’t right. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but then I began noticing subtle differences. The boy in the doorway looked astonishingly like Aaron but he seemed younger. His abs
were still looked rock-hard and his eyes were identical to Aaron’s but his facial features seemed slightly different. It was as if someone had tried to build an exact replica of what Aaron might have looked a couple years ago and ended up with something 95% like the original.

“Who are you?” I demanded, still freaked out by the close resemblance. I felt like I was in some sort of alternate universe.

“Who am I?” the boy parroted in amusement. “I think the better question is who are you? You’re the one snooping around in my room.”

“You’re not Aaron,” I said accusingly. How dare this boy try to put me on the defensive? Maybe I was snooping around but I was snooping around on Aaron, not this kid. He could just take his cute face, beautiful eyes, and amazing abs and toddle back to where he came from. I was not going to feel bad about this. It was not possible that I had screwed up with yet another boy.

“Hell no,” the boy said. “Thank goodness for that. I’m far too smart and good-looking to be Aaron. My name is Nate Caldwell. I’d shake your hand but it’s holding my towel and you’re going to at least need to buy me a drink before I take that off. Aaron’s my older brother. Older, dumber, fatter – you get the idea. This is my room. His room is that one.” Nate pointed at the wall to his left.

“Aaron doesn’t have a brother. I would have known. And if this is your room why are there newspaper articles about Aaron in here?” I challenged him. I was grasping around for any indication that I had not just made a total fool of myself.

“I’m something of the black sheep of the family,” the boy said. “Our parents shipped me off to live at a military boarding school. I’m just back for the Thanksgiving holiday.” Then his smile grew as understanding dawned on him. “You thought this was Aaron’s room,” he said, “which means that you thought you were going through his stuff. I get it, you have a crush on him, don’t you? That’s why you’re in here. That’s creepy.”

My face felt like it was on fire. I rapidly searched for some sort of explanation or excuse but it was impossible to think with him staring at me, judging me.

Nate took a few steps closer. “You know,” he said, “there are a lot of girls that like my bro. Seriously, whenever he wants a girl he just needs to smile and she throws herself at him. I mean, you’re really cute and everything, but if you want to snag him you’re going to have to go in with your A game. Maybe you should think about practicing up with another Caldwell first.”

I looked at him incredulously. “Are you trying to hit on me?” I asked. “Seriously, how old are you?”

“I’m 16,” Nate said, “but don’t worry. I’m into older girls. Who knows? Maybe you can teach me a few things.”

I nearly gagged. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The boy had Aaron’s looks but the words he was saying could never have come out of Aaron’s mouth. In my opinion, Aaron was the sexiest guy alive but he had always treated me and other girls with respect, at least in public. In my imagination, his boy scout-like manners disappeared as soon as he and I got into a bedroom and...

“Hello?” Nate called to me, waving a hand as if trying to get my attention. “You sort of zoned out there for a moment. Were you thinking of us together? If so, perhaps we can do something right now to bring those dreams to life.”

I shoved the thoughts of Aaron and me alone in bedroom out of my mind and focused on the nearly naked boy in front of me. Why did he have to be so darn cute? It wasn’t fair. Younger boys should never get to look hot. I had discovered the hard way with Sam that emotional maturity did not always accompany physical maturity. There should be a law that younger boys had to stay ugly until they were capable of treating
girls right. Ah! He was just too gorgeous. Focus, Sadie. “That’s not going to happen,” I got out with some difficulty. “I apologize for snooping around in your bedroom. It won’t happen again.”

I started to walk towards the door, intending to go around Nate, but he stepped directly into my path.

“Get out of the way,” I said. I tried not to look at him but it was just so hard to ignore his body and that low-hanging towel. I had the willpower to resist him. I did. I opened my mouth to tell him again to move.

Then he leaned down and kissed me.

I should have been incensed. I should have punched him right there on the spot. He had no right to kiss me without my permission. And yet the moment his lips touched mine I felt a spark. It was like a surge of energy that went through my body. Perhaps it was the years of emotional stress from waiting to kiss Aaron that had suddenly gotten released by kissing this look alike or perhaps it was something unique to this boy. Either way, my body felt like it was melting into his warm, bare skin as he kissed me and caressed my arms gently with his hands.

A moment later I was weightless. I was being carried in Nate’s strong arms. Somehow he had managed to pick me up without me realizing what was happening.

Nate set me down on his bed. I placed my hands on his chest and felt his hard young muscles rippling under my hands. Nate pulled away from my lips for a moment and gave me an excited and boyish grin. Then he began to pull up on the bottom of my shirt.

“No!” I said forcefully. The reaction was instinctive but I instantly knew it was the right one. I firmly pushed him back with my hands.

“What’s wrong?” Nate asked. “Are we moving too fast? I promise, I can go slower.”

“We’re moving way too fast for me and you’re not going to be around long enough for us to move
slow,” I said. “I’m sorry but this is not going to work out.” He was a very good kisser, though. Too bad.

I got up and walked to the door. Then I turned back around and looked at Nate. He was still grinning like he had pulled off some sort of prank. I shook my head in exasperation. “You’re a total player,” I said. “A girl could get into serious trouble with you.”

“I’ll get into trouble with you whenever you want,” Nate said.

He was incorrigible. Then my mind flashed back to the worn newspaper articles of Aaron. Why did Nate have them? Another thought occurred to me. It was hero worship. Nate had clipped the articles of his big brother and read them over and over again until they wore out. Nate wasn’t some sort of slick operator when it came to women. Sure, he had grown into the body for it, but at his heart he was still a sensitive guy who looked up to his big brother. That confident smirk of his masked a vulnerable interior. Well, I couldn’t reward and encourage his cocky behavior. It was time to tap into that sensitive side.

“You think you’re hot stuff, don’t you?” I said. “Let me tell you something. Your brother is hot stuff. Yes, I will admit I have a crush on him and have liked him for years, but it’s not just because of his looks. I would still like your brother if he was ugly. Do you know why? Because he’s a nice guy. When I cried in front of him he comforted me. When I dated a friend of his he never made a move on me even when I wanted him to. He can make me laugh and give me advice that I should pay attention to, even if I’m too stubborn to listen at times. And it’s not just me. Aaron is nice to everyone. He is respectful to girls and stands up for them. He protects his friends. He is first and foremost a gentleman. When you said he just needed a smile to get a girl you were right. The reason for that is because we all know how amazing he is. He doesn’t need to try out stupid pickup lines and act like a teenage Casanova to get us to like him. We already do. You’ve got his great body. If you were half as genuine and nice as him, you would have no trouble getting any girl you wanted.”

Nate’s smile faltered but then it was immediately replaced by his stupid smirk. “Wow girl, I feel like we’ve got some major sexual tension going on here. How about we do something about that? I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

“Nuh-uh, I’m not buying that act,” I said. “I see the newspaper articles you have of your brother. You might act like a bad boy but I think you just want to be like him and want him to pay attention to you. Well, don’t let all the girls hanging around him fool you. Aaron is a sincere and nice guy. He’s not a phony player like you.”

That wiped the smile from Nate’s face for good. “You’re a real pain in the butt, you know that?” he said. “
A total buzz kill.”

“Maybe, but I’ve learned from experience,” I said. “Trust me. Be real with people and it’ll reward you far more in the long run.”

Nate looked skeptical. “How would you know?” he said. “What’s the worst thing you’ve done? Kissed a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend? Come on, don’t pretend like you’re some sort of bad ass.”

“You have no idea,” I said. “And here’s another thing. Why are there beers by your laptop? Are you drinking beer up here on your own? Do you know how stupid it
is to be 15 or 16 and getting drunk by yourself?”

“Chill out,” Nate said. “It’s just a couple beers.”

“Right,” I said. I took out my phone and aimed it at the empty beer bottles.

“What are you doing?” Nate asked uncertainly.

“I’m just taking a photo,” I said. “If it really is no big deal you won’t mind if I show them to your parents.”

“You wouldn’t,” Nate said. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he sized me up, trying to judge how serious I was.

“Try me,” I said. “Come on. Call my bluff. Oh, and I might mention to Aaron that you haven’t been very pleasant to me. I don’t think he’ll mind you drinking the beer but he might not like the fact that you aren’t being a gentlemen to girls.”

Nate’s face flushed with anger but it seemed like he did not know what to say. He might not care what his parents thought – they had already sent him away to boarding school, after all – but Aaron’s opinion seemed to weigh on him heavily. “You’re pretty bossy for a girl that was snooping around in my room,” he finally complained.

“Hey, I never said I was perfect,” I responded. “By the way, why did your parents send you away to boarding school?” I asked.

Now Nate looked downright sullen. I stifled a laugh. He was so good-looking that he looked extremely cute when he pouted. “It’s a long story,” he mumbled. “Would you mind getting out of my room now?” He hesitated and then said, “Please?”

“Sure,” I said. Suddenly I felt a pang of sympathy for him. I was sort of harsh on him. He seemed to have learned his lesson. I walked the rest of the way to the door, stuck my head in the hallway, and yelled, “Girls!”

“What are you doing now?” Nate asked in exasperation.

“Giving you a little pick-me-up that you don’t deserve,” I said. I read footsteps pounding up the stairs from the basement and a moment later a couple JV girls appeared in the hall. Perfect. The big dog of the Caldwell family would get the Varsity girls. This pup could make do with the JV ones.

“What is it?” one of the girls asked.

“Come here for a moment,” I said. The girls walked into the room and froze. They mouths dropped open as they stared at Nate’s beautiful glistening body. “This is Aaron’s younger brother,” I said, though I doubted they could understand me. It was pretty easy to lose the capacity to think clearly in Nate’s presence. “He’s your age. Well, I should get going. I’ll leave you all to whatever it is that you want to do.”

They didn’t seem to be able to move so I pushed my way past them and walked downstairs. I no longer felt nervous. As perfect as Aaron might seem, all boys had faults. Everyone had insecurities and weaknesses. I didn’t know what Alyssa’s plan was but one of my own was forming in my mind. I was going to be direct and confident with Aaron.
If things turned out well, great. If not, then it just was not meant to be.

I could live with that.

The basement was packed with girls. A handful of bemused but pleased-looking boys sat around a poker table as the girls laughed and chatted with them. Aaron was nowhere to be seen.

I saw Alyssa waving to me from the other end of the basement. She was standing beside a wooden door and was surrounded by several other varsity soccer girls. I eagerly pushed my way through the crowd to her.

“Aaron is inside the room with Lindsey,” Alyssa said when I reached her, gesturing to the door. “The girls managed to talk him into agreeing to judge their kisses. He seemed to think it was silly but his friends gave him a hard time about it until he agreed to do it. He’s wearing a blindfold. The rules are you go in, get a chance to kiss him without saying a word to him, and then at the end he’ll tell us what number contestant was the best kisser. Of course, no one really cares about the competition, even though they’re telling Aaron that they do. They just want an excuse to kiss him.”

I nodded. “Got it,” I said. “What’s our plan? How do I find out if he likes me?”

“It’s simple,” Alyssa said with a smile. “Just wear this above your right ear.” She held out a flower to me.

It wasn’t just any flower. This was a bright red and orange fire lily like the ones my mom had planted. In fact, seeing as how I had never seen another fire lily in town besides the ones beneath the shade of the roof in my front yard, this was probably from the same bush that she planted.

“One of my mother’s flowers?”
I asked in confusion. “How did you get this?”

“I took it from your yard,” Alyssa said. “I think it will bring good luck. It’s very pretty.”

My eyes widened in shock. “That’s your grand plan?” I thundered. “To wear a flower that may or may not bring me luck? That’s all you’ve come up with?”

Alyssa smiled. “Don’t worry,” she said mysteriously. “There’s a little more to it than that. Be patient. I told you I would find out for you whether Aaron liked you. You just need to trust me.”
 

I groaned inwardly. My newly acquired confidence had already been shaken. In the back of my mind I had expected Alyssa to come up with something brilliant and full proof. Being able to rely on that felt
good. Now I wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not. I knew she had my best interests at heart but what if she just couldn’t figure out a way to get the job done?

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any time to reconsider my strategy or come up with a new idea. A second later the door opened and a very happy Lindsey walked out. She smiled at all of us and swung a tee-shirt around her index finger. “I got his shirt, girls,” she said. “See if you can beat that.”

“Sadie’s up next,” Alyssa said loudly. She stuck the flower above my ear and shoved me into the room. A moment later I heard the door slam shut behind me.

The room was dimly lit. I could only see part of it from where I stood. I walked slowly into the room and then I froze. There it was – my favorite sight in the world.
Aaron without his shirt on.

Nate was a stunning and very attractive boy, there was no denying that. Aaron, however, was the one I had wanted for years. He sat shirtless in a chair while the light from a lamp gleamed off his skin. His body was perfect. His muscles were larger and
more well defined than Nate’s were. Two years was a big difference for boys in high school. Whereas Nate was still growing out of boyhood, Aaron was all man. I controlled my primal urges only with the greatest difficulty.

I walked up to Aaron, wondering what he must be thinking. Who did he think was in the room with him? Would he be happy if he knew it was me?
Angry? I knew I would be terrified if I were in a similar situation but Aaron seemed calm. I began to doubt the earlier epiphany I had come to with Nate. Maybe boys really were a completely different species. Why couldn’t they be more open with their feelings? Trying to guess what a boy was thinking was as fruitful an exercise as searching for emotional capacity in a rock.

When I reached Aaron I realized I didn’t know how to start. Should I just bend down and plant a kiss on him? Somehow that didn’t seem romantic. How, then?

I started to panic again. The only thing that came to mind was how I had sat on Sam’s lap when he was handcuffed to the weight-lifting bench. That was the only time I had kissed a boy who was sitting down. Had Sam enjoyed that? Well, he had complained that I had crushed his “junk.” That certainly didn’t sound pleasant. Did that happen to all boys? Aaron was wearing sweatpants so it was hard to tell what I might risk sitting on.

Ultimately, I had no better ideas and the longer I just stood there the more awkward it seemed. I walked up to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. Then I sat sideways in his lap, being careful to sit a little farther down on his thighs than I had with Sam. Why was I so clueless when it came to boys? I took a deep breath, moved my hand up to rest on the side of his face, and then I did what I wanted to do for years. I kissed Aaron Caldwell.

I had felt a spark with Nate. With Aaron I felt an explosion. It was like fireworks were going off in my head. I had built up so much anticipation and yearning for this moment that its arrival sent waves of excitement and energy through my body.

Aaron wrapped his arms around me and more thrills of excitement rolled through me. This felt so right. Everything about the moment was perfect in ways that it had not been with any other boy. I felt safe and secure in his warm muscular arms, almost like a princess in a fairy tale who had been rescued by a brave and a gallant knight. I knew such thoughts were absurd and even bordered on chauvinistic but at that moment I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except for his lips and his embrace.

Then Aaron picked me up like his brother had but when he set me on the bed in the room I felt no need to resist. Aaron did not try to take my shirt off. Instead, he laid on top of me, supporting his weight with his arms. I put my arms around his neck and he leaned down and kissed me.

It felt so good. I couldn’t have explained in words the feelings and emotions surging through me. I had finally made a physical connection with Aaron and now I dared to dream what it would be like to connect with him on other levels – emotionally, intellectually,
spiritually. Did he feel the awesome potential for one of the great romances of all time like I did? Or was he just enjoying the physical sensations of the moment?

I needed to show Aaron that I was his equal. I might be a princess but that did not mean I was a damsel in distress. I wanted prove to him that I was capable of taking charge. I reached up and gently but firmly moved him to the side. I pressed him flat against the bed and
laid down on top of him. This time I was the one supporting my weight on my arms. My hair fell into his face. He chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair to move it out of the way. I felt the fire lily fall off of my ear but that was the least of my worries. I lowered my face to his and kissed his perfect lips. I wanted more and more of him. It felt like I could not feel enough of his powerful body beneath me. I moved my hands over his skin, committing every contour of his muscles to memory. I had dreamed about what his body felt, smelled, and tasted like for years. Now I wanted to cement those sensations in my mind forever.

Minutes passed like fleeting seconds. Finally, Aaron had to come up for breath. He was actually gasping. Pride welled up within me. I had winded the hottest stud in my high school.

“Who are you?” he asked breathlessly. He raised a hand to his blindfold as if to remove it.

I snatched his wrist, holding his fingers firmly away from the blindfold. I couldn’t reveal myself now. I couldn’t bear to endure the look of discomfort, disappointment, or even resentment that might cross his face if he was confronted with mine.

I stood up. Then I lost it. I couldn't stand to see his look of disapproval. It would destroy this special moment. I needed to get out of the room before he discovered my identity. I darted for the door. “Wait!” I heard him say but I was already opening the door. A moment later I disappeared into the comfortable anonymity of the crowd of girls.