Kiss And Dwell (13 page)

Wasn
’
t that it?
”
He lifted the shiny silver vibrator from where it had fallen to
the floor and held it up so it caught the moonlight and gleamed.

Monique
’
s eyes widened. She rose up on her elbows and peered at the handsome
specter, currently eyeing her favorite vibrator.
“
What have you got in mind?
”

“
Lean back, Monique, and close your eyes. I promise, I won
’
t touch.
”

Okay. This was going to be awkward, she knew, but she had a feeling she knew
exactly what he had in mind, and she didn
’
t do that. However, the only way he
’
d
know was if she told him. Unfortunately, she didn
’
t plan on telling him in the
middle of sex, which meant she had to tell him now, since she assumed the middle
of sex would get there pretty dang quick.
“
Ryan?
”

“
Why aren
’
t you leaning back?
”
he asked, that sexy drawl making her nipples
harden, then he hissed out a ragged breath.
“
Monique, I can feel you—saying no.
”

“
It
’
s just that…
”

“
What?
”
he asked, his jaw clenched tight as he held his desire at bay.

“
I use that, and it works, but I don
’
t…
”

“
Don
’
t what?
”

“
I don
’
t put it inside. I know it
’
s strange, but I guess if something is inside
of me, becoming a part of me, I don
’
t want it to be an inanimate object. I want
it to be a man. So I don
’
t want you putting that inside of me.
”
She rattled the
statement off as quickly as possible to get it over with. She
’
d looked away from
him midway through, and now she squinted and turned toward him to see his
reaction.

He wasn
’
t smiling. He was merely staring. Not saying a word, not making a move,
just looking at her.

“
Still want to try it without touching?
”
she asked, wanting to cry in defeat. It
could be done, she knew. She did it all the time. Closed her eyes, put the tip
of the pulsing wonder against her clitoris and let her imagination take over,
her body lose control. It worked very well, in fact. But maybe Ryan
Chappelle
wouldn
’
t be satisfied with this process unless there was actually some form of
penetration. And Monique couldn
’
t do that. She just couldn
’
t.

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
she said, realizing that calling him here had been a huge mistake.

“
I
’
m not,
”
he said.
“
I
’
m intrigued. And for the record, your rules say that you
can
’
t touch a spirit. They don
’
t say one word about a spirit touching you.
”

Ryan
Chappelle
hadn
’
t been so captivated, so mesmerized, in a very long time
.

More than fourteen months. She
’
d been stunning in the see-through
nightie
, her
rose-tinted nipples pressing against the mesh. In truth, when she
’
d stood before
him in the cock-teasing lingerie, she
’
d been so close to naked that Ryan had
thought the real thing couldn
’
t possibly be more fascinating.

He
’
d been wrong.

When she
’
d given him permission to see everything, and that veil had been
removed, Ryan had been spellbound, his entire body burning with a desire to
touch those excited nipples, trace his fingertips down the sweet curves of her
breasts, along her side, down the soft indention of her waist to that beautiful
feminine core, where he had no doubt she was wet from desire. She hadn
’
t had sex
for over half a year, and she hadn
’
t used her vibrator that way, either. In
other words, though she
’
d experienced orgasms in that time period, she hadn
’
t
been touched deep inside, where her body undoubtedly yearned to be sated
.

Monique hadn
’
t felt the penetration, the exquisite pleasure of joining
completely with a man.

And she wanted that pleasure. Her green-gold eyes, heavy-lidded and looking at
him with unquenched desire, told him she wanted that complete pleasure that
would fill her soul. He wanted to give her that, wanted to kiss her there,
wanted to touch her everywhere.

“
You
’
re allowed to touch me, but I can
’
t touch you,
”
she said, her bewilderment
evident.
“
That can
’
t be right. You can
’
t touch me.
”
Her nudity provided an
awe-inspiring embellishment to the four-poster bed, white satin comforter and
pale-pink satin throw pillows. She was surrounded by beauty, but surpassed it
all.

Hell. He wanted to touch, wanted to press the tip of his throbbing cock against
that tight center and hold it there, whisper in her ear what he was going to do
to her, then do it, slowly, entering her, filling her, claiming her completely
with his touch. But he couldn
’
t.

Unless she asked
.

“
Can you?
”
she repeated.
“
Touch me?
”

“
If you let me,
”
he said, then he leaned above her.
“
Is that what you want,
Monique?
”

She did want him to, Ryan knew. He could feel her yearning for him to touch her
everywhere, to fill her completely until she couldn
’
t tell where her body ended
and his began. But he also sensed her fear, and he knew even before she spoke
that the fear was winning her inner battle.

“
I can
’
t let you,
”
she finally said.
“
If you touch me, I won
’
t be able to stop
you from, well, anything. I know I won
’
t,
”
she admitted.

“
And this is a problem—why?
”
he asked.

“
You said you hadn
’
t been with a woman completely while you
’
ve been in the
middle.
”

“
I haven
’
t.
”

“
But you
’
re wanting to, right now, with me. I know you do. I can feel it,
”
she
said, her voice quivering.

“
I won
’
t deny it,
”
he said, grinning.
“
And you want me, too.
”

“
I know.
”

He moved closer, so close that her words feathered against his lips.

“
Why me?
”
she continued.
“
Why didn
’
t you do that with other women, yet you will
with me?
”

“
You
’
re different,
”
he said honestly.
“
I feel you, Monique. And I want you.
”

“
Which is exactly why I can
’
t let it go that far. I can
’
t give myself to you
that way, Ryan, without losing part of me along the way. You
’
re right. Our
relationship is different because of the bonding. And if I
’
m with you that way,
then I won
’
t be able to handle it when you cross.
”

“
I
’
m not crossing,
”
he said adamantly.

“
You are,
”
she said with equal resolve.

With a near growl, he moved his face away from hers. She still wanted him—he
knew that—and
dammit
, he wanted her too. And she
’
d been willing to give herself
to him, when she thought he couldn
’
t touch.
“
Fine,
”
he said firmly.
“
I won
’
t
touch. Will that work for you?
”

She hesitated a moment, then softly asked,
“
You still want to?
”
Her eyes
glistened in the moonlight.
“
Without touching?
”

“
Yes, I still want to,
”
he said, determined.
“
And I
’
m still waiting for you to
lean back and close your eyes.
”
He could do this, surely he could, because this
beautiful woman was counting on him to give her what she needed, and he wasn
’
t
about to let Monique
Vicknair
down.

She settled her head on the pillow, her blond waves cascading over the expanse
of white satin, and looked at him with eager anticipation.

“
Monique.
”
He leaned over her, careful not to touch her silky skin, those firm
breasts rising and falling with her quickening breath, or the enticing center
between her legs.
“
You haven
’
t closed your eyes.
”

It was a good thing he was already dead, because if he hadn
’
t been, this would
definitely do him in. Yet amazingly, Monique had the power to make things worse
with a single request.

“
I don
’
t want to close my eyes. I can
’
t. I
’
ve never done anything like this with
a spirit before, and I want to see. I want to see you. All of you.
”
Her mouth
trembled before she added in a soft whisper,
“
Please. Let me see you.
”

He
’
d had every intention of getting naked with her earlier, when he thought they
were going full speed ahead, letting him please her completely, letting him have
her completely, the way he hadn
’
t had a woman in fourteen months. Hell, he
wasn
’
t certain that he could have intercourse with a woman while he was in the
middle. He hadn
’
t tried, because it hadn
’
t felt right to join with a woman while
she dreamed. But with Monique, everything felt right. She was different from the
others; she knew he was a spirit and could tell him that she wanted him, Ryan
Chappelle
, filling her, coming inside and enjoying that blissful union of the
souls. But she didn
’
t want to go that far.

He could have done—or at least tried—everything with Monique, if she
’
d said yes
.

But she hadn
’
t, and Ryan thought he could handle a non-touching bout of sex with
Monique only if he were fully clothed. Naked, he
’
d be so there. It would be so
easy to push against her, to push into her, become one with her, if only for a
moment in time.

“
Please,
”
she repeated.
“
I need to see you. I
’
ve never seen a spirit like that,
and—
”
She chewed her lower lip.

“
And?
”
Ryan asked, the single syllable a near growl.

“
And more than that, I
’
ve never seen you,
”
she said.
“
I
’
m burning again,
”
she
admitted.
“
I
’
m burning as much as I did when the letter came, but this time, I
’
m
burning to see you. I
’
m letting you see me. Let me see all of you.
”

“
Do you know how hard that would be?
”
he said, rising from the bed, knowing he
was doomed to give her exactly what she wanted, no matter how difficult. For
some reason, the thought of saying no to Monique
Vicknair
didn
’
t seem a
possibility, not feasible at all.