King of the Kitchen (21 page)

“Well, I want you to know,” Duncan said, forcing himself to make eye contact. Beck was looking at him full of compassion and encouragement, and it was almost too much to take in. Maybe he was falling for Beck. Was this what being in a relationship felt like? Knowing there was always someone on your side who would back you up and help fight for you when you couldn’t do it yourself?

“Anyway, you probably know I started working in Vincent’s kitchens as soon as I was old enough. I really enjoyed it, even though he and I have never gotten along. The summer I was seventeen, he’d promoted me to prep, and I was really excited about it. The head prep chef at the restaurant was ridiculously attractive, and he and I had this flirtation going on all summer. I learned a lot from him too. He was one of the most influential mentors I’d had, other than Vincent himself.

“That summer was also around the time I was figuring out I was bisexual. I’d lost my virginity to a girl the year before, and it had been awesome, but the more time I spent with the prep chef, the more I realized I liked guys too. He was gay, and we got involved. Nothing too heavy. There weren’t any declarations of love or anything like that. Just light stuff, fooling around, having fun.”

Beck nodded. “I think we’ve all had a relationship like that.”

“Exactly. But we weren’t smart about it, and one night after hours, Vincent walked in on us in the walk-in freezer. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I actually thought he might kill the guy.”

“Was he a lot older?”

Duncan shook his head. “He was twenty. So a little older, but it wasn’t like he was forty with a family or something. His age wasn’t the part that had Vincent frothing. He went ballistic because I was with a guy. It was a lot like what you heard from him today, but with more cursing and a lot more promises of eternal damnation and hellfire.”

Duncan hadn’t told anyone about what had happened. Not even his mother. Duncan had been so ashamed of it for so long that telling anyone felt like it would make things worse. And it wasn’t like he was blameless. Yes, Vincent’s reaction had been over the top, but they
had
been at work.

“So what happened after that?”

Duncan shrugged. “He fired Kevin. Made sure to bad-mouth him enough that no kitchen in Chicago would hire him. I don’t know where he went—if I’d been able to, I’d have gotten as far away from Vincent as I could. I don’t blame Kevin for disappearing and not looking back.”

“But you couldn’t because you were a minor.”

Duncan hummed in agreement. “I was a minor. It was almost the end of summer break anyway, so I went home to my mom and ducked out of the last few weeks in the kitchen. By the next summer, I’d finished high school and been accepted to college across the country, so I arranged an internship with a molecular gastronomist out west and spent my summer there. My mom wasn’t pleased, since I think she liked having me less than an hour away in Chicago for the summers, but things between me and Vincent had gotten so bad, I guess she knew not to push it.”

“How?”

“He started sending me Bible passages, and he offered to send me to one of those reprogramming camps. My mom didn’t let him do that, of course, and by then I was eighteen and he couldn’t have made me do anything. But he apologized, and she kept urging me to forgive him, and when I came back this time, I caved and started having dinners with him when I was in town.”

“That’s what Zane meant by your standing date?”

“Yup. Public place to minimize scenes, and we never, ever talk about my sexuality. Until tonight.”

“Until tonight,” Beck echoed quietly. “I’m sorry I brought that on.”

“I already told you not to apologize. I mean, we aren’t dating. He jumped to that conclusion, and that’s on him.”

“And when the story about us dating hits the press? What’s he going to do then?”

Duncan blew out a breath. The brick in his stomach returned full force. “I don’t know.”

Beck smiled grimly. “And what are you going to do?”

Duncan shrugged. He wanted to laugh this off, but the moment was too important. “Tell them the truth? That I do like men and don’t agree I’m going to hell for it? That you’re attractive as fuck, and I’d love to date you if I knew anything about dating?”

Beck’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“You know you’re gorgeous.”

“Not that,” Beck said dismissively. “Did you really mean you’d like to date me?”

Duncan swallowed hard. “I think so? I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t date. I have this hard and fast rule not to mix business and pleasure, after what happened with Kevin. And I’m almost always working, so that eliminates most of the pool of people I could have a relationship with.”

“And what changed? If you never get involved with someone you work with, what was that in the shower at the studio?”

“A mistake,” Duncan answered honestly. He didn’t like the way it made Beck shrink in on himself, but he wasn’t going to lie. “I was attracted to you, and I thought I could get it out of my system with a quickie. And I was wrong. But I didn’t want to mess things up even more by getting into any sort of relationship with you, given my history.”

“Your history of not dating?”

“Exactly. You’re someone special, Beck. I don’t want to hurt you, and I can’t promise I wouldn’t. It’s all new territory for me.”

“Shouldn’t you let me be the judge of what I get into? I’m a big boy, Duncan. I’ve had my heart broken before and lived to tell the tale.”

Before Duncan could respond, John rang the bell in the pass-through. “Hate to break up what sounded like a delightfully terrible conversation, gentlemen, but we’ve got an order in.”

Duncan squared his shoulders and smiled at Beck. “Hold that thought, okay?”

THE LATE-NIGHT
dinner rush at the cafe ran until about three in the morning, and he and Beck had stayed until the next shift came in at four. They were both bone tired, but Duncan didn’t want to leave things the way they were.

Beck didn’t seem to want to, either. “Come home with me? We have to be at the studio in five hours anyway. May as well be together.”

“I’m kind of all talked out,” Duncan warned. He’d talked more about feelings in the last few hours than he had in the last year, and he didn’t think he had much more in him. But he did want to be with Beck. There was something comforting about being close to him he couldn’t quite explain, and going home alone after a night like tonight seemed like a bad idea.

He fell asleep somewhere between getting in Beck’s car in the suburbs and arriving at Beck’s building downtown. He didn’t remember any of the drive, so it must have been pretty soon after they’d started their drive into the city. Duncan didn’t know where they were, but waking up in a garage as spacious and well-lit as this one meant it had to be somewhere nice.

“C’mon, you can sleep more upstairs,” Beck murmured, pulling him out of the car.

Duncan felt pliant from his catnap and a little drunk with exhaustion. He let Beck drape an arm around him to guide him toward the elevators.

“And if I don’t want to sleep?” he challenged, looking Beck up and down with his best leer.

Beck hesitated, then shuffled him into the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. Swanky.

“If you don’t want to sleep, we don’t have to. But I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not looking for another casual fuck.”

Beck’s tone was even, but his expression was tight. Duncan could imagine what it was costing him to have this conversation, and he hated knowing he was responsible for that hurt. Duncan swallowed and nodded. He’d felt terrible after Beck had started avoiding him after they’d had sex at the studio, and he had no intention of putting Beck in that situation again. “I can do that. I mean, the not-casual thing. At least, I think I can. I can try.”

Beck was quiet for the ride up, and for a moment Duncan wondered if he’d fallen asleep. But he looked over and saw Beck watching him, his expression thoughtful.

“Okay,” he said when the elevator doors opened. “Okay.”

As soon as Beck closed his apartment door behind them, Duncan lunged forward and caged him against it, kissing him hungrily. He’d never had sex where feelings were involved, beyond mutual admiration and friendship, and it was a bit of a shock to his system to find it felt different. He was more invested, and there seemed to be more of a weight to the touches they exchanged. It was a whole new world of sensations.

They left a trail of clothes to Beck’s bedroom, and by the time they were standing in front of the bed, they were both naked.

Beck’s eyes swept down Duncan’s bare chest, traveling over the flat planes of his stomach and lingering at the trail of wiry hair that led down to Duncan’s half-hard cock, which twitched under the scrutiny.

“Still time to change your mind,” Beck said, his voice strained.

Duncan angled his neck so Beck could press a row of kisses along his jaw. He canted his hips forward, rubbing his body against Beck’s, their erections brushing against each other.

“I regret nothing,” he said with a laugh when Beck’s hands ghosted up his sides, tickling him.

After a brief fondle that had Duncan protesting when it stopped, Beck rested his other hand on Duncan’s hip and urged him down onto the bed. Duncan made a questioning sound, but before he could say anything, Beck was on his knees, feet slipping on the hardwood floor as he moved, mouth joining his hand on Duncan’s erection.

Duncan’s head slammed back against the mattress, and he was suddenly very, very grateful Beck had had the foresight to guide them to the bed.

Beck’s teeth nipped lightly at the head of Duncan’s cock as he drew his head back, tongue laving over the abused flesh in a way that made Duncan’s eyes roll back in his head.

A spit-slick finger slipped between Duncan’s cheeks, rubbing small, delicious circles against his entrance. Duncan lost his train of thought, his focus on the sensations now as Beck took him deeper into his mouth. Duncan whimpered and forced himself up on his elbows so he could watch the way his cock disappeared into Beck’s mouth, pink lips wrapped over sharp teeth as he bobbed up and down on Duncan’s length.

Duncan shifted, moving his feet farther apart to give Beck better access. He saw Beck’s dimples flash as he smiled around the cock in his mouth, and it was nearly enough to send Duncan careening over the edge. He blinked furiously, not wanting to miss a moment of the deliciously erotic picture Beck made as he sucked him off. God, had it been like this when he’d sucked Beck off at the studio? No wonder Beck had looked downright pained—it was the most delicious kind of torture, different from any blowjob Duncan had had before. There was an extra spark with Beck he’d never had with any of his other partners, and the result was amazing.

Beck barely breached Duncan’s entrance with his finger, and the sting of it brought Duncan back from the edge a bit. Duncan lamented the lack of lube as Beck’s finger retreated, continuing its massage of his hole from the outside, and all Duncan could think about was how much better it would be if they did have the lube. It could have been Beck’s cock instead of his finger—

His orgasm crested without warning, and it was all he could do not to pump furiously into the tight heat of Beck’s mouth as he came, his hands buried in Beck’s mop of hair. He was vaguely aware of someone moaning, and it took a moment before he realized it was him.

Duncan lolled against the bed for a moment, coming down from his orgasm, so he didn’t notice Beck fisting himself roughly until he was nearly done, the sound of his palm moving over flesh unmistakable even though Duncan’s eyes were closed. He pried them open enough to watch as Beck stroked himself, half-kneeling, half-crouching at the edge of the bed. Realizing he was about to miss his chance to reciprocate, Duncan grabbed Beck under the armpits and tried to haul him up the side of the bed. It didn’t work—Beck was solid muscle—but Beck took the hint and climbed up. Duncan shifted around until he was face to face with Beck’s erection, so close he could feel the heat of it even though he wasn’t touching it.

He licked at the thin skin of Beck’s inner thigh, drawing a long groan out of Beck. Duncan buried his nose in the crease of Beck’s hip, his tongue tracing a path downward until he could stretch his lips around Beck’s sac, drawing one of Beck’s balls into his mouth to suck.

Beck’s hand came up and wrapped around the back of Duncan’s neck, lightly enough he could shirk it off if he wanted to but showing Beck’s impatience all the same. Duncan grinned, letting Beck’s sac slip out of his mouth, and licked a stripe up his cock, his tongue delving gently into Beck’s slit when he got to the head.

Beck’s quiet gasps and groans as Duncan swallowed him down were enough to have Duncan wishing he could get hard again. He was enjoying the heavy weight of Beck in his mouth. Duncan teased him, his mouth moving up and down Beck’s shaft at a languid pace.

Beck stroked a thumb down Duncan’s jaw, his hips canting forward and threatening to choke Duncan as he desperately searched for more friction. Duncan relented, bringing a hand up to wrap around Beck’s cock, pumping it as he bobbed his mouth up and down the length of it. The response was immediate. Beck’s legs started to shake, and when Beck’s eyes slid shut, Duncan closed his own and sped up his strokes, taking Beck as deep as he could without losing his rhythm or letting go of the base.

When Beck’s cock started to pulse, Duncan didn’t back off. He suckled at him until Beck pushed him away, letting the softening cock slide out of his mouth and fall against Beck’s thigh.

“So that happened,” Duncan began, stopping when Beck opened an eye and elbowed him hard.

“Don’t ruin the afterglow. Panic later.”

“I’m not going to panic, I—”

Beck rolled over and manhandled Duncan out of the bed, marching him toward the bathroom. It was gigantic, because of course it was. Everything in Beck’s apartment screamed money, and the en suite was no different. Even the shower was opulent—how could one person need that many showerheads?

The snarky comment he’d been planning to make died away when he stepped under the spray. His own shower required a minimum of five minutes to heat up, but Beck’s was scalding hot right away. The multiple heads felt like heaven, and even when Beck pushed his way in behind him, there was plenty of space to share.