King John & Henry VIII (32 page)

KING HENRY VIII
    Ha? What, so
rank
²¹⁰
? Ah, ha!

    There’s mischief in this man: canst thou say further?

SURVEYOR
    I can, my liege.

KING HENRY VIII
    Proceed.

SURVEYOR
    Being at
Greenwich
²¹⁴
,

    After your highness had reproved the duke

    About Sir William Bulmer—

KING HENRY VIII
    I remember

    Of such a time: being my sworn servant,

    The duke retained him
his
²¹⁹
. But on: what hence?

SURVEYOR
    ‘If’, quoth he, ‘I for this had been
committed
²²⁰
’ —

    As to the Tower, I thought, — ‘I would have played

    The part my father meant to act upon

    Th’usurper
Richard
, who, being at
Salisbury
²²³
,

    Made
suit
²²⁴
to come in’s presence: which if granted,

    As he
made semblance of his duty
²²⁵
, would

    Have put his knife to him.’

KING HENRY VIII
    A giant traitor.

CARDINAL WOLSEY
    Now, madam, may his highness live in freedom,

    And this man out of prison?

QUEEN KATHERINE
    
God mend all
²³⁰
.

KING HENRY VIII
    There’s something more would out of thee: what say’st?

SURVEYOR
    After ‘the duke his father’, with ‘the knife’,

    He
stretched him
²³³
, and with one hand on his dagger,

    Another spread on’s breast,
mounting
²³⁴
his eyes,

    He did discharge a horrible oath, whose tenor

    Was, were he
evil used
, he would
outgo
²³⁶

    His father by as much as a performance

    Does an
irresolute
²³⁸
purpose.

KING HENRY VIII
    There’s his
period
²³⁹
:

    To sheathe his knife in us: he is
attached
²⁴⁰
:

    Call him to
present
²⁴¹
trial: if he may

    Find mercy in the law, ’tis his: if none,

    Let him not seek’t of us: by day and night,

    He’s traitor
to th’height
²⁴⁴
.

CHAMBERLAIN
    Is’t possible the
spells
of France should
juggle
¹

    Men into such strange
mysteries
²
?

SANDS
    New customs,

    Though they be never so ridiculous,

    Nay,
let ’em be
⁵
unmanly, yet are followed.

CHAMBERLAIN
    As far as I see, all the good our English

    Have got by the
late
⁷
voyage is but merely

    A
fit or two o’th’face
: but they are
shrewd
⁸
ones,

    For when they
hold ’em
⁹
, you would swear directly

    Their very noses had been counsellors

    To
Pepin or Clotharius
, they
keep state so
¹¹
.

SANDS
    They have all new
legs
, and lame ones: one would
take it
¹²
,

    That never see ’em pace before, the
spavin
¹³

    Or
springhalt
¹⁴
reigned among ’em.

CHAMBERLAIN
    
Death
¹⁵
, my lord,

    Their clothes are
after such a pagan cut to’t
¹⁶

    That sure they’ve
worn out
¹⁷
Christendom.

              How now?

    What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?

LOVELL
    Faith, my lord,

    I hear of none, but the new proclamation

    That’s
clapped
²¹
upon the court gate.

CHAMBERLAIN
    What is’t for?

LOVELL
    The reformation of our travelled gallants,

    That fill the court with quarrels, talk and tailors.

CHAMBERLAIN
    I’m glad ’tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs

    To think an English courtier may be wise,

    And never see the
Louvre
²⁷
.

LOVELL
    They must either,

    For so run the conditions, leave those remnants

    Of
fool and feather
³⁰
that they got in France,

    With all their
honourable points of ignorance
³¹

    Pertaining thereunto —
as
fights
and
fireworks
³²
,

    
Abusing
³³
better men than they can be

    
Out of a foreign wisdom
,
renouncing clean
³⁴

    The faith they have in tennis and
tall stockings
³⁵
,

    Short
blistered
breeches, and those
types
of
travel
³⁶
—

    And
understand
again like
honest
³⁷
men,

    Or
pack
to their old
playfellows
³⁸
: there, I take it,

    They may
cum privilegio
‘
oui
’
³⁹
away

    The
lag end
of their
lewdness
⁴⁰
and be laughed at.

SANDS
    ’Tis time to give ’em
physic
⁴¹
, their diseases

    Are grown so catching.

CHAMBERLAIN
    What a loss our ladies

    Will have of these
trim vanities
⁴⁴
!

LOVELL
    Ay,
marry
⁴⁵
,

    There will be woe indeed, lords: the sly
whoresons
⁴⁶

    Have got a
speeding
trick to
lay down
⁴⁷
ladies:

    A French song and a
fiddle
has no
fellow
⁴⁸
.

SANDS
    The devil
fiddle
⁴⁹
’em! I am glad they are going,

    For sure there’s no
converting of ’em
⁵⁰
: now

    An honest country lord, as I am, beaten

    A long time out of
play
, may bring his
plainsong
⁵²

    And have an hour of
hearing
, and,
by’r lady
⁵³
,

    
Held
current
⁵⁴
music too.

CHAMBERLAIN
    Well said, Lord Sands:

    Your
colt’s tooth
is not
cast
⁵⁶
yet?

SANDS
    No, my lord,

    Nor shall not, while I have a
stump
⁵⁸
.

CHAMBERLAIN
    Sir Thomas,

    Whither were you a-going?

LOVELL
    To the cardinal’s:

    Your lordship is a guest too.

CHAMBERLAIN
    O, ’tis true:

    This night he
makes
⁶⁴
a supper, and a great one,

    To many lords and ladies: there will be

    The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.

LOVELL
    That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,

    A hand as
fruitful
⁶⁸
as the land that feeds us:

    His
dews
⁶⁹
fall everywhere.

CHAMBERLAIN
    No doubt he’s noble:

    He had a
black
mouth that said
other
⁷¹
of him.

SANDS
    He may, my lord,
he’s wherewithal
⁷²
in him:

    
Sparing
⁷³
would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:

    
Men of his
way
⁷⁴
should be most liberal:

    They are set here for examples.

CHAMBERLAIN
    True, they are so:

    But few now give so great
ones
. My barge
stays
⁷⁷
:

    Your lordship shall
along
⁷⁸
. Come, good Sir Thomas,

    We shall be late else, which I would not be,

    For I was
spoke to
⁸⁰
, with Sir Henry Guildford,

    This night to be
comptrollers
⁸¹
.

SANDS
    I am
your lordship’s
⁸²
.

GUILDFORD
    Ladies, a general welcome from his grace

    Salutes ye all: this night he dedicates

    To fair content and you: none here, he hopes,

    In all this noble
bevy
⁴
, has brought with her

    One care
abroad
⁵
: he would have all as merry

    As, first, good company, good wine, good welcome,

    Can make good people.

              O, my lord, you’re
tardy
:

    The very thought of this fair company

    
Clapped
⁹
wings to me.

CHAMBERLAIN
    You are young, Sir Harry Guildford.

SANDS
    Sir Thomas Lovell, had the cardinal

    But half my
lay
¹²
thoughts in him, some of these

    
Should find a
running banquet
¹³
ere they rested

    I think would better please ’em: by my life,

    They are a sweet
society
¹⁵
of fair ones.

LOVELL
    O, that your lordship were but now
confessor
¹⁶

    To one or two of these.

SANDS
    I would I were:

    They should find
easy penance
¹⁹
.

LOVELL
    Faith, how easy?

SANDS
    As easy as a
down
²¹
bed would afford it.

CHAMBERLAIN
    Sweet ladies, will it please you sit?— Sir Harry,

    
Place you
²³
that side, I’ll take the charge of this:

    His grace is ent’ring. Nay, you must not freeze:

    Two women placed together makes
cold
²⁵
weather:

    My lord Sands, you are one will keep ’em
waking
²⁶
:

    Pray sit between these ladies.

SANDS
    By my faith,

    And
thank
²⁹
your lordship.—

                 By your leave, sweet ladies,

    If I chance to talk a little
wild
³⁰
, forgive me:

    I had it from my father.

ANNE
    Was he
mad
³²
, sir?

SANDS
    O, very mad, exceeding mad, in love too:

    But he would
bite
³⁴
none: just as I do now,

    He would kiss you
twenty
with a breath
³⁵
.