Rafe rubbed his wrist. “I guess so. What were you doing, anyway?”
“Just practicing. And you were an easy target. Look at the circle I made around you.”
He glanced at the ring of plants. “Very… nice, I guess. It’s different from the other elements, isn’t it? I mean, not so powerful. What could you do with it against someone?”
I raised one eyebrow. “I just imprisoned you in a circle of thorns and tied you down with a vine. Seems pretty powerful to me.”
Rafe snorted skeptically, but he didn’t say anything else as he drew me closer. He kissed me again, this time with more intention. He spread his fingers in my hair, holding my head still with one hand as his other moved along my side, creeping higher.
I broke away abruptly. “Rafe, stop. Please.”
He heaved a breath of frustration. “Tas, we’re alone out here. No one’s going to see us.”
“That’s not the point. I just don’t want… I need you to move slower.”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “If we move any slower, we’ll be going backward. Is that what you want?” When I didn’t answer, he added, “It wasn’t like I was going to take you here on the lawn. Give me a little credit.”
I kept my eyes on my clenched hands. “When you’re… involved with me, like this, you don’t block very well. I can hear what you’re thinking pretty clearly. And you weren’t going to stop if I didn’t make you.”
He didn’t deny it, and we were both quiet for a minute before Rafe stood abruptly. “I’m going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?”
I started to struggle to my feet. “Sure, that sounds great.” Anything to change the subject, change the scene.
Rafe pressed down on my shoulder. “No, you stay here. I’ll bring it out. I need a minute.”
I sank back into the grass and watched him stalk across the garden toward the house. I felt his frustration and vague hurt, and it made me feel even guiltier. Preoccupied with my concern over Rafe, I didn’t hear the approaching footsteps until a shadow fell across me.
“Hello, Tasmyn.” William Brooks towered over me, smiling down in his normal benevolent manner. “Are you enjoying this beautiful day?”
I fumbled for a reply. “Yeah—yes, I am. It is. Beautiful.” I was slowly becoming more comfortable with Rafe’s grandmother, but I didn’t see William as much, and consequently, he still intimidated me.
He gazed toward the house. “Did my grandson go inside to cool down?”
I flushed and looked at the ground. “He went to get us drinks.”
“Ah.” William bend to pluck a leaf from one of my newly grown weeds. “I must speak to the gardener. Can’t have these weeds taking up residence here on the lawn.”
I felt my face go an even deeper shade of red. “I’m sorry. That was actually me. I’ll take care of it—I’ll get rid of them.”
He laughed then, a chuckle that reminded me of his grandson. “I know, Tasmyn. I was only teasing you. Don’t worry, they’ll wither and be gone overnight.”
“Really?” I squinted up at him, shading my eyes from the sun. “Is it because my magiks aren’t strong enough to sustain them?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s just the type of plant. Some things, you know, are not meant to last for more than a season. They serve their purpose and then…” He spread his hands in front of him. “Gone.” He held my eyes steadily, and I sensed that he was talking about more than the weeds.
I pulled a blade of grass and studied it. “But some things—some things do last, don’t they?”
He smiled, kindly, and nodded. “Of course. The trick is determining which is which, isn’t it?” He looked out over the lawn again, and the silence between us stretched. I sensed that he wanted to say more and wasn’t sure how to do it.
“How is your practicing going?” I was surprised, expecting him to talk about Rafe.
“Um, I think it’s going well.” I was cautious; I knew Caroline was wary of Marica, and I suspected that her husband shared that sentiment. “I’m working in all four elements now.”
He grinned again. “Fun, isn’t it? I toyed a bit with that when I was younger. Never had your talent for it, though.” He hunkered down so that he was at eyelevel with me and said in a conspiratorial tone, “I used fire casting to catch Caroline’s eye, once upon a time.”
I laughed, charmed. “You Brooks boys really are all the same, aren’t you?”
“You’ve found us out.” William glanced up, and his eyes grew thoughtful. “Here comes that other Brooks boy. I’ll leave him to charm you now.”
Hey, Tas. Even though I know I’m not supposed to, I still worry about you. I wish I could see you, touch you… even hear your voice. Just to know you’re okay. I love you, Tasmyn. Call me.
I watched William Brooks stride toward the house. As he passed Rafe, he stopped to lay a hand on his grandson’s shoulder. They had a brief, whispered conversation, and since they both possessed the ability to block me, I couldn’t even guess what they said.
Rafe kept his expression neutral as he approached and handed me a bottle of water. He didn’t sit back down with me; instead, he stood, staring into the distance, taking long swigs of his own drink.
“Thanks for the water,” I ventured.
“No problem,” he replied, words clipped.
“I was talking to your grandfather.” When he still didn’t respond, I went on, though I could hear the tremble in my voice as I tried to sound normal and upbeat. “He was telling me that he used to practice on the elements, too. He cast a fire-”
“To get Gram’s attention, yeah. I know. Old family story.” Rafe dropped to the ground at last and pinned me with a long stare. “No small talk right now, okay? Not in the mood.”
I bit my lip and tried to ignore the knots in my stomach. “Sure. Sorry. Why don’t I go and leave you to…” I flipped up one hand. “Whatever it is you
are
in the mood to do.”
Rafe reached over and grabbed my arm. “What
I’m
in the mood to do is spend some time with my girlfriend. Not arguing, not talking magic or powers or whatever. Not talking at all.”
He was opening himself up now, tearing down the blocks, and what he was feeling overwhelmed me. It wasn’t just physical—though that was a large part of it. He wanted me, wanted every part of me. He was frustrated that I was holding back pieces of myself.
“Rafe, not now, okay?”
“Not now? Then when?” He let go of my arm and fisted one hand against his forehead. “God, Tas, you have no idea. I don’t know what I have to do. I’m sticking with you on this witch stuff, helping you get around your parents. I’m trying to be patient and understanding. But every time I think we’re getting closer, you pull back. You find a reason to fight with me.”
I fought the tears rising in my eyes. “I don’t like to fight,” I whispered. “I just need some time…”
“I don’t think it’s time.” Rafe shook his head. “Let’s face it. All the time in the world isn’t going to make me Michael.”
Pain seared across my chest, and I sucked in air between clenched teeth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rafe snorted. “Come on, Tasmyn. Let’s be honest with each other. If I were Michael, you wouldn’t be pushing me away. My hands would be-”
“Stop it, Rafe! You have no idea. Stop saying his name.” I scooted away from him, out of reach, and struggled to hold back the wracking sobs that were threatening. Rafe’s thoughts made his misconceptions about my relationship with Michael very clear. “I didn’t—he never—
we
never…”
“You never what? The two of you, as close as you were? You expect me to believe that Michael didn’t touch you?”
I shook my head as a mix of hurt, embarrassment and anger stirred within me. “No, I’m not saying he didn’t ever touch me. But we didn’t… do what you’re thinking we did.”
Confusion covered Rafe’s face. “You…” He stopped for a moment. “But I thought… I saw the two of you together. He never stopped holding you. You never left his side.”
I thought back to the few times I’d been with Michael in front of Rafe. They’d met at Thanksgiving the previous year, when a bunch of us had a bonfire at Lancer Lake. It was true that Michael and I had been all over each other; we’d been apart for weeks and were so happy to be together again…
Remembering brought a whole new wave of pain, and I closed my eyes. It was still as raw as it had been in December.
Rafe made a noise in the back of his throat, skepticism or annoyance, I couldn’t tell. I sucked in another deep breath.
“I know how it must have looked, but I’m telling you the truth. I’m not ready for that. Not with Michael, not with you. If that’s a problem, Rafe, you’d better let me know now.” Anger was beginning to replace the hurt, and a warning gust of wind swirled around us.
Rafe ignored it. “I didn’t say that. I didn’t say it was a problem. I just thought… well, I thought you didn’t want me. Not like you wanted him.”
He was right. My feelings for Rafe were real and strong, but they were completely different from what Michael stirred in me. I couldn’t name them, and I couldn’t explain without hurting Rafe even more. It was frustrating.
As my temper and pain ratcheted up a few more knots, the wind picked up. On the back veranda, I could see the potted plants falling over. Above us the palm fronds were whipping, flipping against each other and the trunk of the tree.
“Tas, stop it.” Rafe had finally noticed what was happening. But it was too late. The anger fueled the power, and the power was surging in its favorite outlet, the wind.
There was a loud crack and a huge palm branch fell to the ground, missing me by inches. Rafe grabbed me just in time, pulling us away from the trees as he held me to his chest.
“Shh, baby, come on. Calm down. Rein it in.” He cradled me in his lap, rubbing my back. I closed my eyes and focused on winding down the rage. I worked on making my breath even, hissing between locked teeth and pulling back the power, inch by inch.
When it was nothing but a light breeze, Rafe finally loosened his hold on me. He leaned his forehead against mine.
“Tas, that was crazy,” he whispered. “You’re going to have to figure out how to control it. Or it’s going to get way out of hand.”
I was too shaken to disagree.