King 02 - Breathless (18 page)

This time, I knew what was going on, right from the start.

The school walkways were dark and empty. I was standing near my locker, but nothing was quite familiar or defined. There was a slight haze softening the walls, the ground, the doors. The longer I focused on an object, the less clear it became.

Silence surrounded me, and yet as I stood trying to draw calm breaths, I heard an odd sing-song voice. It was coming from around the corner, in the next building over. I moved toward the sound.

Walking made everything around me shimmer. Each step I took seemed to move me much further than it should have, and almost instantly I was standing outside of Ms. Lacusta’s classroom. The voice I had heard was much louder, and I knew that Nell was on the other side of the door.

I expected to see her at her old seat, but she was sitting in the front of the room, on Ms. Lacusta’s desk. She was wearing the same sort of white robe as she’d been in last time we’d spoken, but I was relieved to see that her hands were free this time. She swung her legs back and forth and regarded me steadily, head tilted slightly.

“Well, don’t just linger in the doorway, Tasmyn. Please, do come in.”

Unwillingly I moved into the room. Although I tried to take only the smallest step, I found myself standing only a few feet away from Nell.

“That’s better. I can see you now.” Nell smiled, and I shivered.

“Why am I here again? Why are
you
here?” I attempted to sound cool and together, but I’m fairly certain my voice quivered.

“Just a dream. Isn’t that what you told Michael? Just an odd and disturbing dream.”

My heartbeat quickened. How could she know that?
I must really be dreaming
, I comforted myself.
That’s how she knows everything. It all comes from my mind
.

Nell laughed humorlessly and shook her head. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Tasmyn. I have to say, though, I’m really disappointed in you. I thought you were reasonably intelligent.”

I groped behind me and found a desktop that felt real and stable enough to lean against. Tilting my chin up, I met Nell’s gaze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nell.”

“It’s pride, I suppose. I told myself that anyone with enough brains and cunning to bring me down would also be smart enough to stay away from Marica. I was wrong, obviously. I guess you just got lucky.”

My temper flared then. “It wasn’t luck, and it wasn’t brains, either. I was just trying to do the right thing—”

Nell waved her hand at me and shook her head in disgust. “The same old song. Stop. I’m tired of hearing it. I don’t want to talk about that, anyway. I want to know why you’re allowing Marica to manipulate you. What does it take for you to get the hint? For most people, a warning dream from the homicidal maniac who tried to kill them would do the trick.”

“Why in the world would I ever listen to you, Nell?” I asked, glaring at her. “It’s not as though you’ve ever had my best interest at heart. Maybe you’re just jealous that Ms. Lacusta is interested in
me
now instead of you.” I stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing what I had said. I didn’t care what Ms. Lacusta thought of me, and I didn’t want her to be interested in me. But just now, I had felt a little surge of spiteful pleasure that I had something Nell didn’t.

She laughed again. “Oh, she’s very good, you know. Good at making you think she really cares about you, that she’s trying to help you, that you’re so important. But remember that when it comes down to it, she’ll throw you away as easily as she did me.”

I didn’t answer. A heavy feeling told me that Nell was speaking the truth, and I had known this all along.

“You think you’re stuck,” she went on. “There’s nothing you can do to wriggle free. But consider very carefully, Tasmyn. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.” She glanced around the room, which suddenly appeared very solid and bright. “I chose to meet you here tonight because I want you to remember me when you meet with her tomorrow—or is it today? Hmm. Time’s tricky with these things. Doesn’t matter. When you walk into the classroom to see her, you’ll be reminded.”

I stood up. “I want to go home now. I don’t want to talk to you anymore, Nell.”

She didn’t smile again, but she did sigh, deeply. “I know. I’m not much fun anymore, am I? But I do have one more question, Tasmyn. And it’s one you should be asking yourself. Why haven’t you told Michael about the whole mess with Marica? I know what all of your excuses are, but you need to look beyond them. Figure out the real reason.” She regarded me thoughtfully for a moment more, and I felt an overbearing wave of sadness wash over me. I knew it came from Nell.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I don’t have to go yet, I guess. I—we could talk, if you want.”

Her eyes flared. “No, thanks. No pity conversation from someone who can’t even take care of herself. Go.”

I tried one last time. “Really, Nell, it’s not pity, I’d honestly like—”

“GO!” Her anger was palpable, and she threw out her arm to point at the open door. As she did, I caught sight of ugly red and recent scars on her wrists.

“Oh, Nell!” I gasped. “What did you do?”

I expected her to rage at me again or maybe just disappear. Instead she turned over her arm and regarded it with interest. She raised her eyes to meet mine.

“Didn’t I tell you that a blood sacrifice is very powerful, Tasmyn? Blood spells—they’re the strongest. My resources these days are somewhat limited in that respect. I have to make do with what’s at hand—so to speak.” She smirked, a challenging expression on her face.

“Don’t, please. Please, Nell, don’t hurt yourself.” I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and landing on the tops of my crossed arms.

“I told you to leave. I’m tired and—things will begin to fall apart. It’s better for you to be gone. Just a dream, Tasmyn… just a dream…”

I awoke abruptly, shaking and disoriented. My dream... was it really only a dream? I didn’t think so. It felt very close and very real.

As soon as I could trust my legs, I slipped into the bathroom and ran cold water over a washcloth. Pressing it to my cheeks, I gazed at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. My eyes were dark and shadowed against the paleness of my skin. My hands still trembled, and my eyes hesitated on my wrists as I saw them in the mirror. I could see Nell’s scarred arms in my mind, and I could hear her taunting voice.

Shivering, I darted back to my room and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up to my neck. I tried to go back to sleep, but each time I closed my eyes, panic gripped me. Sleep was a long time coming.

So when the alarm rang at 6:30, I was groggy. I moved so slowly through my morning routine that I was in serious danger of being late for the first time in my high school career. My mom’s worried voice followed me out the door.

“Don’t speed or drive crazy just to get there on time. I’ll write you a note if you’re late!”

I waved to acknowledge her words and concentrated on making it to school safely and quickly. The bell was ringing just as I slammed my locker shut and took off for history.

Mercifully, nothing too challenging happened in my morning classes. If I was zoning through physics and calculus, no one seemed to notice. My stomach began to churn toward the end of math class, however, as I faced the prospect of seeing Ms. Lacusta again.

I had finished her book over the weekend, and honestly, it had raised more questions for me than it answered. It was simply a history of a group of people, and while it was interesting, it didn’t give me any answers.

So it was with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation that I made my way to the chemistry classroom. I shivered a little as I went through the door, seeing it again as it had been last night: fuzzy lines and hazy shapes. Today, at least the lights were on and everything appeared to be pretty solid.

Ms. Lacusta was seated at her desk, as she had been last week, and again there was a chair pulled near to hers. She looked up and smiled with genuine pleasure as I approached.

“Tasmyn… hello. Here, have a seat.” She gestured to the chair and then leaned back, gazing at me. “I hope you had an enjoyable weekend.”

I glanced at the teacher skeptically. Was she seriously going to try to make small talk?

“It was all right, I guess. Pretty quiet.” I wasn’t about to share anything important with her.

“Good. Were you able to complete your reading assignment?” She looked at me expectantly, and for a fleeting moment I wondered what she would have done if I said no.

“Yes. It was... informative.” That was an adequate word.

Ms. Lacusta laughed and pushed her hair back over her shoulders. “I hope that wasn’t your polite way of telling me that it was dry and boring. Frankly, I find it fascinating. But then of course, I imagine one always finds one’s family stories more interesting than others might.”

“Your family?” I raised an eyebrow, looking at her questioningly.

“Yes. As you read, the Rom are an ancient people. Others used to think we came from Egypt, and that’s where the term Gypsy came from, but of course, that’s not accurate. We came from India, or what I suppose is now part of Pakistan. We weren’t greeted with open arms, but you’ll have read that, too.

“And during those years, those hard years... we retained our national identity. We diversified, so to speak. We took on different trades. But no matter what happened, our women kept our stories alive, and more than that... they kept the power alive.”

I tried to keep my face carefully blank. So far, Ms. Lacusta hadn’t shared anything that I hadn’t read in her book. But now she was moving into new territory. I toyed with the idea of trying to hear her mind, but the pain and futility of my past attempts made me reluctant. Instead I concentrated on her mood and feelings, which were much more difficult to control even if she knew I could pick them up. I sensed pride and passion, and just the slightest hint of cool calculation.

“The power… I assumed it was just legend,” I said, keeping my face as blank as possible.

Ms. Lacusta leaned forward and held my eyes with her own. “No, Tasmyn, it’s not legend. I understand that the book might have been somewhat… ambiguous about that, but I would think you of all people would find it easy to accept the truth. The power is real, and it is…” She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, in and out. “It is
everything
.”

A chill ran down my back. The intensity of her words brought back the image of Nell so vividly that I had a hard time keeping my breath even. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the side of Ms. Lacusta that Nell knew very well.

After a moment, she spoke again. “I don’t mean to overstate it, Tasmyn, and I wouldn’t blame you for shying away from any expression of the power after what happened last autumn. But that was an aberration. It had more to do with Nell’s mental illness than it did with the vrajitorie—the power, that is.”

This time it was me who leaned forward. “What did you call it? Vra—?”

“Vrajitorie. It’s Romanian; it’s the word we use. You would have seen it in the text.”

I nodded. “So… I understand about the—the power, whatever you want to call it, being handed down. I get this is your family history. I still don’t understand why I’m here, why you made me read about it. Not that I don’t find it fascinating,” I hastened to add.