Authors: Rilla Askew
Tuesday |
February 26, 2008 | Night
In the Gloss Mountains
E
ach night
since that first night the moon has swelled a little more big. Tonight, looking
up, Luis considers that she is almost half. She makes good light in this dark
place. He can see the sloping ground nearby, the two low feet of the hillside
like two sheltering arms. He looks again at the face of the sleeping boy, wet
with sweat, frowning. Now, in his heart, Luis is afraid only. No peace
accompanies his fear. He must pray. To pray is difficult when a man feels
abandoned, but Luis repeats the words. Sometimes just the rhythm of praying. . .
OurFatherInTheHeaven
SanctifiedIsYourNameYourKingdomCome
YourWillBeDoneOnTheEarthAsInTheHeaven . . .
He has been too long without the sacraments. It is
like an ache in him, how long the time has been. He last attended mass the
morning he left Arroyo Seco, so now it is almost three weeks since he received
communion. Perhaps this is why he cannot feel the presence of Our Lady here in
this dark place. He cannot envision her image anymore. But how could he have
attended mass here in the North? And where? Who would hear his confession, offer
penance, absolution, place upon his tongue the sanctified host?
Forgive me, Father, I have sinned.
After he takes the
boy to a doctor, if the authorities do not arrest him, he will find a church. He
will go to confession. He tries to remember his sins. Theft, yes, he will
confess that, make the penance, because the abandoned truck cannot be returned.
And when did he swear by the holy names, lose his faith, lose his patience?
Maybe he did a wrong thing, to come with the boy. Or to bring the boy with him.
Which is the truth? Which way did it go? Him bringing the boy? The boy bringing
him? Luis tries to remember. They seemed to decide to go together. They seemed
to both hold the same hope.
When did this happen? At the white jail? Luis had
not wanted to go there; he was afraid to be seen by the police, the officials,
but the boy could not be persuaded, and so, very late in the night, Luis started
the truck beside the cemetery and drove as the boy instructed, bumping along the
dirt road until they arrived at a medium-sized town, not so big as Arroyo Seco,
with dark sleeping houses and one street of stores, all closed. He stopped on a
dark side street where the boy showed him. In the distance he could see the
white buildingânot a prison, as the boy had called it, but a small jail in a
not-so-big town, illuminated in the night, with a steel fence around the back
and razor wire along the top. ¿
How will you see your
grandfather?
Luis asked. The boy used his good hand to make the shape
of a square in the air of the dark truck, then cupped his palm around his mouth
as if speaking a secret.
¿A
window?
Luis said. The boy nodded. Without a word he
opened the truck door and jumped down.
Luis watched the boy walk along the fence,
disappear around the corner of the building. He was gone from sight for many
minutes, then his small figure appeared at the first corner of the fence, and
again he walked along it, disappeared around the corner of the white building
once more. Luis did not count how many times the boy did this, maybe five or
six. The light was very strong all around the building, shining down from tall
poles on every side. The boy was taking too long! Someone might see him. Very
quietly Luis got out of the truck and crossed the road to the steel fence. When
the boy rounded the corner, Luis stopped him, making a gesture to ask the boy to
be careful. The boy was crying. With a hurt wrist and bruised face, the boy did
not cry. With cold and thirst, the boy did not cry. Now, however, there were
choking sobs in his breath.
I cannot speak to my
grandfather,
the boy whispered.
Please to help
me, mister.
Walking rapidly, looking toward the bright parking
area, the shadowed street behind them, Luis accompanied the boy around the jail.
But in all the square building there were no windows of any good size to let in
light and air, only small blocks of thick glass in a few places, sealed inside
the concrete walls. Like a cave it must be. Like a tomb. He touched the shoulder
of the boy to pause him. They were beside the fence again.
I dont see how you will speak to your grandfather, my son,
Luis
said
. I think we must make a new plan
. The boy
lifted his head.
Now, as he keeps watch under the glittering stars
and sinking moon, Luis remembers the mysterious thing that happened in that
moment, the first night of their journey, beneath the arcing lights outside the
white jail. He had called the boy
my son
. At once
the boy lifted his face, looked up steadily at Luis. Then the same trust that
Luis had placed in the boy alreadyâtrust that was necessary, although he had
scarcely known he had given it, because the boy spoke a little spanish but knew
all the english, because the boy had brought food to him, and a map, and a jar
of coinsâthat same trust seemed to turn and return, like a boomerang, whirling
in the air from the boy back to Luis again.
Yes, okay
, the boy
said, no longer crying.
Plan. Is the same word, in the
spanish and english. A new plan.
He waited then, looking up at Luis,
his face calm, expectant, beneath the dark brim of his cap.
Come,
Luis said, and he and the boy walked rapidly across the road
to the truck.
Tuesday | February 26, 2008 | 7:30
P.M.
Brown's farm | Cedar
S
weet scrambled sideways down the bank, using her frozen muddy hands to help, squeezed past the Taurus turning white now with sleet. On the bridge the ice was really starting to build. Her boots were impossible. Why hadn't she thought to change to sneakers when she heard the weather report? It's not like she didn't know that the absolute worst thing to wear in this weather is cowboy boots. She made her way across in the middle of the bridge, very slowly, very carefully, crouching a little so that if she fell she wouldn't hit the ground with too much force. The main thing was to not go sliding off into the creek. The cruiser was stopped at the top of the track with its front end tipped down enough that the headlights helped her see. They also showed her looking like a fool no doubt, scrabbling across with her arms out and her hair plastered to her head and muddy smears from one end to the other. The quick-flashing red and blue lights turned the ice a brilliant violet color, made her sick to her stomach, a little dizzy.
The lawman was standing outside the car when she got to the top of the bankâa big hulking deputy with linebacker shoulders hunched up to his ears against the sleet. He'd left the cruiser's door partway open so that the interior light showed another guy in the front seat. The deputy held the rear door open, Sweet scrabbled into the car, and the deputy got in the front and slammed the door against the cold. He reached up to click the dome light back on. She recognized him then as the deputy who'd escorted her daddy away from the break room lastâGod, how long ago was that? A week? A lifetime. “Man,” she said, trying to catch her breath, “am I glad to see you.”
“What're you doing out here, ma'am?” He was too big to turn easily in the seat, so he was looking at her in the rearview. The radio squawked and stuttered with distant voices; she couldn't make out what they were saying. The other fellow wasn't a cop, or anyway he wasn't wearing a uniform but a bulky plaid insulated jacket and a hunter's cap. He did turn around to look at her. He had squinty eyes and a big mustache. “What was all that shooting?” he said.
“Well,” she panted. “You're not going to believe thisâhold on.” She held up her open palm. “Let me catch my breath.” She could feel them looking at each other while she gasped loudly, stalling for time. “Well,” she said again, “My, uh, cousins were out searching, you know, and I, I came out to tell them the weather report and I got my car stuck. Then we thought we saw something. I mean we did. See something. A . . . a . . . well, we think it was a bobcat. My cousin tried to shoot it but we think he probably missed.”
“You sure got yourself in a mess.” The deputy gestured across to where the cruiser's lights showed the whitening trunk and tail fender of Sweet's poor Taurus. She felt a kind of sadness toward it, like it was a very old dying pet.
“Yes, sir,” she said. “Reckon you could call us a tow? I'd just leave her there till this weather's finished but I got to get my cousins back to the house.”
“Motion 'em to come on. We'll drive y'all into town.”
“Well, no, my cousin, he's got to get to work, he needs his truck.”
“Where's he work at?”
“Tulsa. I mean, Muskogee. Well, just, you know, one place and the other. Construction.”
“Ain't nobody driving to Tulsa or Muskogee either one in this weather, ma'am.”
“No, I know, we just want to get it out and be ready for him to leave in the morning when the roads clear.”
The deputy grunted. The ice crystals in his brown crew cut had melted to water droplets now. “I imagine they're pretty busy, what with roads like they are.” Nevertheless he picked up the radio mouthpiece and made the call. The man with the mustache kept glancing back at her, his frowning face sort of a cross between skepticism and concern.
Sweet said, “You suppose you could turn off the red lights? They kind of give me a headache.” The deputy reached over and switched them off. At once the flashing, violet tension bled away. The car seemed quiet, though the motor was running and the radio was still spitting its muffled squawks. Sweet pondered the rolls of fat at the back of the deputy's neck, how they showed through his crew cut, swelled over his jacket collar. Carl Albert had little rolls like that starting. She'd suggested to Terry that maybe they could let him grow his hair out, not keep it buzzed so short, but Tee wanted it short like that, even though he kept his own hair as long and scraggly as he liked. She could feel the pain in her solar plexus starting. “All right, thanks,” she said and reached for the door handleâwhich was nonexistent. She patted all along the inside door panel. “Uh, could you let me out? I'll just go tell them yonder what's going on.”
“It's awful cold out, ma'am,” the deputy said. Like she didn't know. He hoisted himself out of the front seat, opened Sweet's door. “Bring 'em on over here, why don't you. We might as well all go back to the house where it's warm. It's liable to be a while.”
“Okie-doke.” She had no such intention. “Thanks so much.” She gave a little backhanded wave as she started the slip-slide scramble back down toward the bridge. The crossing seemed easier without the strobe lights, but when she climbed back into the cab she was both wetter and colder. Juanito had turned off the motor. They were almost out of gas, Misty said. Sweet told them about the tow coming, said not to worry, the deputy didn't have any idea who was here in this truck; they just had to wait till the Taurus got pulled out of the way, then Juanito could drive straight on out. “Y'all keep going, no matter what happens. If that deputy tries to flag you down, just drive on. When you get to the blacktop, turn right. Don't go back to town, Misty. Hear me? Just keep going to the next section line road and pull off the blacktop and wait for me there. I'll take care of the tow operator and come on as quick as I can.”
“And then what?”
Sweet shut her eyes. “Then we figure out the next step,” she said, entirely uselessly, but it seemed to satisfy Misty, who rattled off to her husband what they'd be doing next. He leaned forward to see around Misty Dawn and the baby. “Thank you,” he said.
Sweet nodded. “You're welcome.”
The wait was long. The baby was bored and fretful, and it was so cold. The more Sweet rested from her exertion, the colder she got. Her teeth were chattering, her jaw trembling. It didn't do any good to wrap her arms around herself, her jacket was soaked through. After what felt like hours but was probably more like twenty or thirty minutes, the cruiser's headlights came back on. Worse, the red and blue lights started flashing again. Uh-oh, Sweet thought. That deputy's mad I didn't come back. He's going to come over here to find out why not. She knew she'd better get out and head him offâbut oh, oh, how she dreaded going back out in that freezing rain! Then another set of headlights sawed through the trees, came rolling up behind the cruiser. Oh, thank God. Of course. The tow truck. That's why the deputy had put his lights onâto flag down the driver. Well, with the tow here, she had to go. “Okay, what's the plan?” she asked Misty Dawn through clenched, chattering teeth.
“Soon as your car's out, we go across and keep going, no matter what, turn right at the blacktop and wait for you.”
“At the next section line.”
“Uh-huh,” Misty said.
Sweet ached in every part of her being as she climbed down and started back across the bridge. It's almost over, almost over, almost over, she promised herself with each sliding step. Where were the yellow emergency lights on the tow truck? She couldn't see past the flashing red and blue ones. She climbed the far bank using her hands, squeezed past the cruiser, squinting, shielding her eyes with her hand till she was past the lights and could see the deputy's big outline, leaning down to talk in the window of the preacher's little tan Toyota. Sweet's fatigue zipped right out through the top of her head.
No!
she screamed in silence to Brother Oren:
Don't tell him!
She ran toward them, slipping, calling out, “Hey, hey, hey! Hello!” The deputy stood up from the window, flattening his hand over his head, like that was going to protect him from the sleety rain. Sweet went as fast as she could to the passenger side of the Toyota and got in. “Thanks for coming, Brother Oren! We're good, Deputy!” she shouted across at the open window. “We'll take it from here!”
“I was just telling the preacherâthe dispatcher called and said it might be three or four hours yet. There's folks off the road clear to Hartshorne, she said it's real bad in Wilburton. Matter of fact, I got to get back. Sheriff called us in, said there's too many wrecks for just the town officers to work.”
“No problem!” Sweet chirped. “Really. I appreciate everything you've done. We'll just, uh, Brother Oren can drive me into town.”
“What about your cousins?”
“Oh, they're good. I mean, well.” She looked at the preacher.
“I came out to help, Darrel. We'll be fine.”
The deputy leaned in. “How'd you hear about Miz Kirkendall getting stuck?” Sweet couldn't see his expression. Was he suspicious?
“Well . . .” the preacher started.
“Claudie Ott's police scanner!” Sweet finished for him. “Isn't that right? We'll just back up and let y'all out.”
“This sure ain't the best kind of car to be driving on ice in,” the deputy said.
“It's got front-wheel drive,” the preacher said. “We'll be all right.”
“Thank you, Deputy,” Sweet said. “Really. Thank you so much.” The preacher rolled up his window, braced his arm on her seatback as he put the car in reverse. All through the exchange of positions, while the deputy backed past them, with the mustached hunter in the passenger seat pressing his face to the window to try to see out, and then while the cruiser slowly turned around and started across the pasture, Sweet was afraid to speak. Brother Oren edged his car forward to the top of the slope. “Better stop here,” she whispered. The preacher's headlights showed up her mired Taurus extremely well. “I got stuck,” she said pointlessly.
“Yeah.”
“They're over yonder.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Sitting in Juanito's truck.” The preacher was silent. “What should I tell them?” She heard him take in a long shaky breath, but his voice was real calm when he answered.
“Maybe I'd better come with you. Y'all might need somebody to carry the little girl.”