Kincaid: Cerberus Mc Book 1 (14 page)

“You can celebrate on the plane.” I turn my attention back to packing even though I know Wrench isn’t going to be happy with my final decision.

“There ain’t no pussy on the plane!”

I look up at him and zip my duffle bag. I smile the whole way over to him and drop my bag at his feet. Pissing him off is becoming one of my favorite pastimes. “Be gentle with my bag, Wrench. I’ve got a souvenir for my girl in it.”

I catch Shadow’s laugh and Wrench’s long line of expletives as I leave the room.

I roll my eyes as I roll over in bed and see that the sun is just barely up. Diego texted last night and let me know that they were heading back and should arrive early this evening. I know the excitement of him being back is what has me waking up like a kid on Christmas morning. It just means the day will take longer as I anticipate his return.

I dress quickly in a pair of blue jeans and a tank top before leaving the room in search of Rose, which in turn means Kid. I find both of them just sitting down to breakfast. Other members of the club are there as well. The relief that came with the knowledge that the guys were coming back soon is palpable in the air.

The last two weeks the stress has been almost tangible around each and every member. No one will tell me what they are off doing. Each and every time I’ve asked, the rehearsed response is always “Ask Kincaid.” So that’s on my list of things to do when I see him later.

I grab a plate and load it up before sitting between Kid and Rose at our usual table. I smile when I hear some of the other guys laughing at another table; it’s not a sound we’ve heard very much recently. The sudden change in the atmosphere around the clubhouse concerns me because it’s apparent with their relief that what Diego’s been doing had to have been very dangerous. Why else does it seem like only now are the members able to breathe a sigh of relief?

“I was hoping you could take me to grab a few things,” I tell Kid.

“I have an appointment this afternoon,” Rose cuts in. “I won’t be able to join you guys.”

I look back to Kid. He looks like he knows I’m going to back out if Rose can’t go. I shrug. “That’s fine. Are you busy?” I direct my question back at him. His eyes widen marginally but a smile marks his face, and his baby blue eyes are sparkling.

It seems being okay to go somewhere alone with one of the members of the club is a milestone.

I hear Doc laugh, something he always seems to be doing. “Let your President see you smiling at her like that.”

His smile drops so fast I can’t help but laugh myself.

***

I tortured Kid for several hours with shopping. I was very selective, which took longer than it normally would. I shouldn’t have spent any of the money I’d made from tips the last week and a half, but I’d put some away to give to Diego for some of the things he’s paid for, and there were a few things that I wanted.

I got very plain Jane lingerie when I went shopping the first time. I went for comfort and price, but now that I know he’ll be home this evening, I have the urge to have something sexy under my clothes. I have no direct plans for him to even see me in only panties and a bra, but sexy underthings make me feel more feminine.

Kid tried to force the credit card in my hand again and even began to pull his phone. That shit didn’t work on me the first time he did it, and it’s lost even more of its appeal each and every time he’s done it since. He tried to follow me into Victoria’s Secret, but I pulled the phone out, indicating I was going to text Diego, and he backed off. The sales lady looked at me like I was crazy when I walked into the store with my head thrown back laughing.

I didn’t give myself much to spend since I have other obligations, but I was able to find two decent sets from the sales rack. I have to build an entire wardrobe a few pieces at a time, which is fine with me. I’ll be doing it on my own, and I know I’ll appreciate each and every item more than if someone purchased it for me.

Diego texted half an hour ago that they landed at a small local airstrip just outside of town. I hope he stops by here first, but I’m not going to be waiting in the doorway. I don’t want to seem too eager, even though I’m nearly bouncing around the room with so much pent up energy.

Grateful I don’t have to work tonight, I can’t help but imagine what my evening may look like. I know I can’t determine what will happen, but his texts since he left have been increasingly flirty and complimentary.

He’s said more than once that he can’t wait to get back to the clubhouse. He’s expressed a desire to take me out. He’s also not very happy with me working at the bar, but he hasn’t once told me I had to quit or tried to dictate my life in any way. Kid is there every second I’m working and sees me safely home each night.

Even though our conversations have happened mostly through texts and a handful of conversations, I feel like I’ve gotten to know him a little better, and I can’t help but smile wide each and every time my phone chimes a new text message.

The sound of his door opening next door snaps me out of the thought of past conversations. My heart begins to beat wildly; the unprovoked response a new feeling for me. It’s the first time someone coming home has brought joy and pleasant anticipation. In the past, the sound of a door opening would always let the fear that was always sitting right at the surface bubble over.

I give him a minute to put his things in his room. I check the mirror to make sure my hair looks good but doesn’t carry the appearance of trying too hard. I add a tiny dab of lip gloss to my lips and straighten my new shirt. When he doesn’t come to my door after five minutes, I give up on waiting and go to him.

I step out of my room and notice that his door is slightly ajar. I tap gently on the door. “Diego?” I say loudly, not wanting to startle him or invade his space without his permission.

When I get no response, I push the door open wider. I stop cold when I see no other than Bunny lying completely naked on his bed. She’s reclined back on her elbow with her knees bent. The first thing anyone would see when they walk in the room is her bare snatch on full display.

“What the fuck?” I whisper unable to look away from her blatant show.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She swishes her head back and forth barely moving the over-hairsprayed mop on her head. “I always suck him off when he gets home from a mission. You ruined that the last time by tagging along with him and distracting him from his life here.”

The only thing I can do is stare at her; my mouth is still hanging open. I may have been beaten by my husband for several years, but I’ve never met a woman who’s so blatantly aggressive and disrespectful.

“You can watch if you want. I can show you how he likes it.”

I laugh at the offer because honestly it’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. I remember what she said to Kid shortly after I got here about the threesome she’d had with him and Diego. I can’t help but wonder if that’s what he’s into, if that’s what he expects from me.

He can have all of this craziness and chaos. This shit is the last thing I need in my life. I shake my head at Bunny and leave her sprawled out on his bed. I cringe at her cackle as I walk out of the room without another word and close the door behind me. I can’t compete with skanky women who don’t mind being shared and passed around. I’d never be that type of woman for him.

I calmly walk to the room I’ve been blessed with the last couple of weeks, and I pack my clothes. I make sure to grab my toiletries, not wanting to leave anything behind. I have no intention of ever returning here. The standard they have for the women is not something I’m able to meet, or stoop to as it seems.

I clear my throat several times to push down the tears that want to fall. I don’t know why I’m upset. I have no claim to him. If all of the cards were dealt, it seems Bunny has more of a right to him than I do. Her determination on keeping him just won her the competition I have no plans to participate in.

I sling the strap of the duffle bag I found in the room over my shoulder. Placing both keys to the room on the dresser, I walk out and quietly I close the door behind me. I walk in silence down the hall and knock on the door to the room Rose and Doc have been staying in. I know they’re anxious to get back to their house. Rose had mentioned packing up once she got back from her appointment this afternoon.

The door is tugged open before I could even pull my hand fully away. Rose’s smile falters when she looks at me.

“Emmalyn, what’s wrong?” She looks back over her shoulder when Doc asks her who’s at the door. “It’s Emmalyn.”

She turns her attention back to me but doesn’t press me for information. Clearly her intuition tells her that if I have to explain myself, I’m sure to break.

“I need to leave.” My voice cracks and I close my eyes momentarily in an attempt to regain the sliver of composure I’m holding on to. “I was hoping I could stay with you guys for a while. “

She looks back over her shoulder again gauging Doc’s reaction. “I hate to even ask…” I begin before Doc pulls the door open wider and steps up beside Rose. “You don’t have to ask, Emmalyn,” he says gently. “Babe, why don’t you ladies go ahead and head over to the house. I’ll be home in a bit on my bike.” He kisses her on the cheek and nods at me. I give him a weak smile and head toward the front of the clubhouse.

Quickly we make our way across the building, and I freeze at the top of the stairs when I see Diego climbing out of the SUV. He looks exhausted, but his eyes light up, and a smile plays on his beautiful mouth as he walks toward me. I steel my spine as he approaches, but his arms reaching out to me almost cause me to lose it.

“Em,” he breathes sexily. “I’ve missed you.”

I swallow roughly and step out of arms reach. Confusion marks his brow, but I speak up before he can question the bag slung over my shoulder and the keys in Rose’s hand.

“You seem to have your hands full around here. You have a present waiting on your bed.” I go to slide past him.

“Emmalyn, wait. What the fuck is going on?” He reaches for me again and on natural instinct I squeeze my eyes shut and cower away from him.

“Fuck,” I hear him mutter, and when I open my eyes he’s taken several steps away from me, and his hands are hanging in defeat at his sides. The look on his face devastates me. His smile when he walked up to me was the most genuine smile I’d received in as long as I can remember. It’s like he focuses on only me. I was the only thing he could see.

I do believe he wants me. I believe he missed me, but I know I can’t be the type of woman he wants, the type of woman he’s used to. Not being that woman, in the beginning, would be okay with him, but eventually, after my heart was already involved he’d grow bored or worse yet try to get me to change. Leaving now protects us both.

“Em,” he begs.

“Goodbye, Diego.” I turn and walk towards Rose’s vehicle just as the first tear of defeat rolls down my cheek.

The last thing I anticipated pulling up to the clubhouse after being away for over two weeks was the sight of Emmalyn walking out to greet me. I couldn’t have been more wrong when I saw the pain on her face and that fucking duffle bag hanging from her arm.

Worse than that, she cowered away from me when I reached out to her. Instinct told her that leaving the clubhouse would make me so angry that I’d hit her. My heart stopped seeing her squeeze her eyes closed and prepare for me to strike her. I had to pull away and take a step back. It was the only way to show her that I’d never hit her.

Watching her climb into Rose’s SUV and drive away without insisting she stay, or pulling her back into the clubhouse and forcing her to tell me what was wrong, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I glare at Kid as I climb the steps to the front door.

“What the fuck just happened?”

He takes a step back, and I sneer in his direction, oddly pleased with the fear I see in his eyes. “She just walked out of here with a bag full of her things.” I point in the direction of the retreating car. “What happened to make her leave?”

“I don’t know, Kincaid.” I feel Shadow’s hand on my shoulder, and it’s calming just like it always is. His calming power in situations like this is eerie as fuck. “I took her shopping today.” I snap my head back up to him. He takes another step back. “I swear to Christ I didn’t go into the lingerie store with her. She made me stay outside.”