Kimber (26 page)

 
This
is completely crazy. I don’t even know this guy.
I tell myself but
regardless, I agree.

“He’ll
be at Saint Pete General.” Max tells me as he climbs in next to his patient.
His partner closes up the back, hops into the driver seat and pulls out of the
parking lot in a siren storm of flashing lights. 

I
search the lot and find the black Jeep relatively easy. It sticks out, since
there’s a yellow kayak attached to the top of it. Still I look twice to make
sure it’s the only black Jeep in the lot. Grand theft is the last thing I need.
I find the key where he’d said I’d find it and start the engine.

Ten
minutes later, I’m parking on the emergency side of the hospital. There’s two
ambulances parked in front. One of them must be Max’s.

Inside,
I walk over to the registration desk. A middle aged man with glasses and dressed
in a guards uniform, whistle and all, leans back in his chair. When he sees me
he straightens up turning on the professionalism.

He
clears his throat. “Can I help you?”

I
put both hands on the counter and smile. “I hope so. There was a man brought in
not long ago. He’d been stung by a Stingray?” I form in a question, hoping the
man had been paying attention before I arrived.

“Name?”
He says fingers hovering over the key board.

Crud!

“Er,
I don’t know exactly. But, the name of the paramedic who brought him in is
Max.”

“Doesn’t
matter. You ain’t family so you ain’t going back. Hospital rules.” He says
turning off the professionalism and leaning back in his chair.

“You
don’t understand. I just need to give him his keys.” I smile sweetly at the
man. This doesn’t need to be an ordeal, they’re just keys.  

He
shakes his head and starts chewing on a piece of gum he must have been holding
under his tongue. “Hospital isn’t responsible for personal property brought in
by visitors.”

“I
understand. This isn’t my personal property though, it’s a patient’s.”

The
man leans forward slamming two of the four legs of the chair against the tile
floor.

 “Tell
ya what,” he leans forward, “you have a seat, I’ll check and see if your friend
is going to be needin’ them keys.”

I
nod, fighting the urge to clarify the friend part of his sentence. I sit and
wait and wait and wait. Five minutes in hospital time might as well be twenty.
When the guard, and I use that word loosely, emerges from the personnel only
area, I know I’m not going anywhere.

“Your
friend got it bad. You’ll need to keep them keys. He ain’t going to be able to
drive himself home.”

“Seriously?”
I sigh.

“Seriously.”
The guard answers with a, what kind of friend are you, look.       

             
                                                                                                                         Three
hours later and I’ve read through every magazine, twice. I’m hungrier than heck
and have developed an unhealthy hatred for waiting rooms.

After
watching so many people come and go, the worse incident involving a man and
some homemade contraption, my stingray victim rolls into the waiting area. He
is glossy eyed and dazed.

Ah
great
.

“Pull
your car up front and we’ll load him in.” The male nurse orders.

“Look,
I don’t know if I’m the right person for this. He asked me to drive his Jeep
here so he’d have a way home. I just met him today.”

“We’ll
he’s been discharged so it looks like you are his way home.”

“I
don’t know where home is for him.”

The
nurse hands me two sheets of paper. “Address is on the second page. Pull the
car around front.”

I
look again at my dazed, confused and medically high stingray stranger. It’s not
like the guy is in any shape to harm me, right?

 I
pull his keys out of my pocket and walk out to the Jeep. I look over the
discharge papers before starting the engine. “Well, Wyler Nathaniel Reed, you
sir owe me big time.”

It
doesn’t take me long to find Wyler’s apartment downtown. It’s modest and, thank
goodness, on the first floor. I help him get a handle on his new crutches and
guide him up and through the front door.

“This
is as far as I go.” I say from the outside of the threshold.

Awkwardly
Wyler turns back around to me. Heavily medicated he looks like a disaster
waiting to happen.

“Fine.”
I mumble and step inside. He smiles and just as awkwardly as before, turns back
into the apartment.

Inside
smells like cologne and for guy standards his apartment is pretty clean. I help
him onto the couch, prop his leg up on a cushion and leave a glass of water,
meds and their instructions in arms reach. On the coffee table I find a pen and
for two reasons I scribble my name and number on his left hand. First being for
general concern and second because he hadn’t listed a single person in the
emergency contact portion of his paperwork. It’s questionable but also really
sad.

“I’m
guessing you have a phone?” He nods. “Ok, you’re all set.” I hand him the
remote to his TV.

 “This
sucks. You’re like… thecoolestever… and you’re hot. Shit, Ididscream, didniti?”
His slow slurred words jumble together as he looks at me with drowsy eyes. 

“Wyler,
sleep. And call me tomorrow so I know you’re alive.”

Before
I can shut his apartment door behind me, he’s open mouthed and snoring. 

I
WASN’T SURE what else the day could possibly throw at me, until now. Not only
was I stranded downtown but I was also phoneless. My cell phone, the list of
contacts conveniently stored inside
it
and
not
my brain, had been
left at Leo’s. And to add salt to my wound, Leo’s number just so happened to be
the only one, other than mine and nine one one, I know by heart. I take a
moment to curse technology.

Mortified
and half soaked by a classic Florida midday summer shower surprise, I call Leo
using a phone behind the counter at a gas station.

Fifteen
minutes later, his ridiculously oversized truck pulls into the gas station.

I
climb in and pull the door shut. “Thanks for comin’ to get me.”

I
half expect him to mention how I’m wet and ruining the upholstery but he
doesn’t.

“Why
are you downtown?”

 I
think about answering but then I decide he wouldn’t find humor in my peculiar
day. Heck, I haven’t found it. But I can just imagine his lecture about safety
and the danger of strangers and Neph this and Neph that. I know there would be
some purpose of good in all of it, but he would miss the obvious fact that I’m
fine.

“Haven’t
you seen Lena today?” He glances at me from the corner of his eye. He knows I’m
avoiding his question and acting nonchalant in doing so. We’re not together so
why should I have to explain myself?

“I
did just before leaving with my mother.”

“How
is she, your mother?” I shift my body toward him, resting my arm on the large
square console separating us.

“Good.
In fact she’s going back to New Zealand and asked me to accompany her.”

My
heart feels like it’s been popped and the air is escaping. The thought of Leo
leaving again, even with his mother, turns something inside me. Like a thread
slowly fraying loose. I shift myself again, this time returning to my original,
face forward position.

“She’s
meeting with the council. I should be there.”

“Yeah,
of course.” My voice is as weak as I am pathetic.

I
should be stronger than this but I can’t stop picking at my nonexistent nail
polish. Realistically this day was always nearby. I’ve lived without him once,
I should be prepared to do it again.

“Will
you be gone long?” I find myself asking before I can stop. I bite down on my
tongue hard enough to punish it but not to draw blood. Why do I sabotage
myself?

“I
don’t know.” He says ambiguously.

I
focus on my hands as they tighten around themselves. “Why is everything with
you so complicated?”

I
let my bitterness spring forth. Maybe I’ve driven myself crazy with over
analyzing and intensifying the situation until it’s become a monster inside my
head but I’m so sick of playing these games. And even more pissed that he stays
tight lipped.

So
concerned with what is going on inside me, I don’t immediately recognize where
I am. As the truck comes to as stop I look out through the windshield. It’s
perfect and devastating at the same time. Leo pulls up alongside the elevators
leading up to my condo. I close my eyes and relax my shoulders. I want to feel
hurt and discarded but in doing so I’m letting him win.

As
I cast my eyes in his direction, I notice my duffle bag rested on the back
seat. It’s hard to swallow but I do.

“If
this is how you treat someone you loved, I’d hate to be your enemy.” I struggle
for  calmness.

He
remains unmoved as I step out of the truck and retrieve my bag from the back.
Like our time apart, I put distance between us. I walk to the elevator and
vigorously push the orange button. 

 “Kimber,
wait.”

I
fight the instinct to turn to him.
Come on!
I scream in my head,
pounding on the stupid orange button.

 “Kimber.”

Air
he carries with him swooshes past me as he stands at my back. It makes my wet
body cold.  I lift the duffle bag up and hold it against my chest. I squeeze it
hoping to expel my fear of facing him. Shifting my weight from one foot to the other,
I turn slowly. No sooner do I have my back to the elevator, does it ping and
the doors open. Figures
.

His
shoulders slump, his hands disappear into his pockets and the corners of his
perfect mouth frown.

“I.”
He says swallowing and then rephrases. “For every good reason you have to be
pissed at me, this isn’t one.”

I
roll my eyes and look off to the side.

“You
can’t judge me when it comes to things you know nothing about.” He says leaning
forward and tilting his head in my direction. “It has nothing to do with us.”

I
could have kept my mouth shut. He could have rambled on all night right here by
the elevator. But now he’s crossed the line. I look him in the eye and lower
the duffle bag down to my side.

“When
you’re not acting like a jilted ex-boyfriend you’re dragging me into crap I
never asked to be a part of, blood or no blood. And when I tried to accept it,
you shut me out. I hoped you could find a way to love me but obviously, you’d
rather sever all ties. So take it. Take your freedom and leave me the hell
alone.” I turn back to the elevator, demanding control of my legs as they
quiver.

“You
don’t know what it’s like. Every second I’m with you I punish myself with your
pain. I can’t afford to screw up if I’m paying with your life. Do you
understand?” He asks sounding beaten and broke.

I
feel his anxiety and fear of judgment rush through my blood. Emotional bricks
holding him down from my reach. I can’t face him. Not as tears form in my eyes.
I wish he didn’t view himself as my curse. I wish he could reach inside my
chest and take my heart so I don’t have to feel it break.

 I
reach out and push the orange button once.

“Have
a safe flight.”

The
elevator pings, I step in and wait until the door closes behind me to sob.

I
PULL THE down comforter over my head. Nothing beats its soft feel and the
warmth of my comfortable bed. After having triple checked the locks on every
window and door, I’m plagued by a constant state of feeling unsafe.

Thanks
to Leo my condo is immaculate. Horatio Caine and his CSI Miami team couldn’t
find a trace of evidence if they tried. But no amount of chemicals could wash
away the unseen stains. I’d always be able to pinpoint the spot I nearly died
and the location in which Luke stood telling me he had killed my mother.

It’s
these haunting thoughts that have me considering selling my condo. I have
absolutely no clue what I’d do or where I’d go but far away seems appealing. I
wouldn’t have to deal with awkward run ins with Leo. Or witness the string of
girls battling for his attention when we are out with friends. Honestly, I
don’t know what to expect. Whatever it is we are going through, it’s a first.
Neither of us knows what the other is capable of. 

Moving
and adjusting are things adults do. Things my friends have done. Maybe it’s
what I need to not feel like I’ve fallen behind. I could go back to school like
I originally planned. Study psychology, settle into my future, forget my past and
reinvent myself.

The
possibility of a fresh start makes me smile. I imagine a calm life not based on
uncertainty or anticipating where the next threat will come from. And while I
never dreamed we would grow apart, as my eyes fall heavily shut, I entertain
the prospect of life after Leo.