Kilty Pleasure (17 page)

He crawled back onto the bed and sprawled out beside her.

Was this weird? It wasn’t even two in the afternoon and they were lounging around in bed. Should she be getting up? Getting dressed?

She needed this, though. This relaxation and downtime. Mindless sexual pleasure. Not only was her personal life a bit of a roller coaster right now, but her work life had been emotionally difficult.

Her little burn patient, Randy, had been discharged and there was a good chance he’d end up with his mother again. It made her sick to her stomach.

He wasn’t the first patient she’d grown attached to. It wouldn’t be her last either. Which was what made her a shitty nurse. Or a good one. It was a toss-up. Like her friend said, she couldn’t save them all.

Trying to let it go and focus on the now, she stared up into Colin’s face and a wave of peace washed over her. Comfort.

All sad thoughts vanished as he traced two fingers over her shoulder and then down her arm. Tingles and warmth filled her again.

“What happens next, Hailey?”

Her breath caught. He wanted to talk serious stuff? “Does something have to happen?”

“I don’t know.” His fingers traced hers now. “To be honest, I’ve never much been the casual-sex type, and I’m not certain I’m very good at this.”

Just what was he saying? “You’re doing fine. We’re doing fine. It’s just sex.”

“Is it?”

“Well, it’s good sex, I suppose.”

“Amazing,” he corrected.

“Okay, amazing.” She laughed softly, but then sobered.

“But I just got out of a bad relationship, Colin. I’m not really looking for anything heavy.”

Silence filled the space between them and her pulse quickened. Had she upset him?

“Not that I’m implying you
are
looking for something serious. I have no idea what you’re thinking right now, actually.”

She hadn’t lied. She really
wasn’t
looking for anything, and the idea of getting serious with someone after Curt left a heavy knot in her stomach. Curt was baggage. Heavy baggage. She had a freaking restraining order against him type of baggage.

It would be a little easier to hide the fact that she was having sex only occasionally than it would be to hide a boyfriend who was around all the time.

Not that he was asking to be her boyfriend, was he? Good God, she was probably overreacting to a simple little conversation.

“Look, I like what we’re doing here.” She rolled onto her side so she could face him and touch him. “You’re right, it’s amazing.”

He grimaced. “Thank you for attempting to salvage my pride a bit, sweetheart.”

“I guess I just don’t know what it is you want.”

“And, honestly,
I’m
not sure what I want. You’re the first woman I’ve slept with since Brenda.”

“She was your last girlfriend?”

“Fiancée.”

That took the wind out of her sails. She stopped tracing his chest absently and stared down at the hard pectoral muscles.

He’d been engaged. Whoa. There was a strange tightening around her chest as she asked, “But that, um, didn’t work out?”

“It nearly did.”

“You got cold feet?”

“She did. Left me standing alone at the front of a church with two hundred guests as witnesses.”

Holy shit. She propped herself up on an elbow and stared down at him. “Are you serious?”

“Aye.”

“What a bitch.”

He didn’t reply, but his lips twisted, almost in sad amusement.

“I’m sorry, Colin.”

“It was over a year ago,” he said softly. “I’ve not been in a hurry to get involved with anyone. You’re the first.”

The first since the bitch. That explained why he was confused about what happened next. She didn’t know a lot of guys like Colin. Men who didn’t sleep around or have casual sex at least every now and then.

Colin sounded like one of those always-in-a-relationship guys. Dating one woman for a long time, maybe breaking up, and then ending up in a serious relationship with another woman.

And had nearly married one of them, it seemed.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise—several times now he’d mentioned he wanted to settle down and have kids. Of course, one time had been in the same breath with which he’d told her she wasn’t marriage material.

Her lips twisted with a bitterly amused smile. That’s why they could never work. Maybe he’d apologized today, but all words came from a grain of truth.

“Maybe we could just be there for each other,” Colin mused. “Nothing serious, because I’m not sure either of us is in the right place for it. But when there’s the, uh, need—”

“When one of us wants to get laid?”

He cringed. “I hate that term.”

“Hmm. Let me try again. When one of us has the urge to fornicate like cute, fluffy bunnies?” she teased.

“Wait, what? You may actually be getting worse.”

“Float your boat up my river of love?”

“You know, let’s just stick with
get laid
.”

“Works for me.”

He laughed, tracing a finger around her nipple. “Does it though? Work for you?”

“The being there for each other sexually?”

“Aye.”

She thought about it for a moment, trying not to be distracted by his sensual touch as she weighed the consequences and perks.

“I think it does, actually.” She gave a slight nod, her body already stirring with desire again. “Only, I think we should keep this between us. There’s no point in having people get the wrong idea.”

He nodded. “Agreed. And I’ll make sure to add your number to my phone.”

“It’s weird you don’t have it. We’ve slept together twice.”

“I had the same thought earlier. Only at that time we only had one sexual experience under our belt.” He leaned down and drew his tongue across her nipple and her hips rose off the bed.

“
Oh
. I’m hoping we’ll have three soon,” she admitted breathily. “Actually, three before we hit 3:00 p.m.”

Colin glanced at the clock. “We’ve got a half hour.”

“I think we can swing it.”

“Aye, I know we can.” He reached for another condom in the drawer and deftly put it on.

She parted her thighs, ready for him as he positioned himself. There was one question in the back of her mind, and it was going to come out like verbal vomit any moment. She could feel it. Couldn’t stop it.

“Do you still love her?”

He stilled, a stunned expression sweeping across his face. “Brenda?”

She nodded.

He didn’t move, just hovered above her, poised to enter her. Though he stared down at her, she wasn’t certain he was seeing her.

Finally, “I’m not sure.”

Again there was that tightening in her chest, but this time she did her best to ignore it.

Lesson learned, Hailey. Don’t ask questions you don’t necessarily want to know the answer to.

Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, she urged him to take her.

When he drove into her body, she cried out and let herself be washed away in the moment and this sea of pleasure. She did her best to ignore the knowledge that he could be making love to her right now, and had the other times, while thinking about another woman.

Colin glanced down at his bed where Hailey was curled up on her side.

She’d fallen asleep, and he hesitated to wake her. Though maybe there wasn’t really any need to do so. With her hands pressed together and lying beneath her cheek, she looked completely at peace.

Angelic, almost. He thrust a hand through hair still wet from the shower, then adjusted the towel around his waist. Even though part of him was tempted to climb right back into bed and cuddle, he knew it was a bad idea.

Plus, she might not be all too receptive. With a sigh, he turned and left her alone in the bedroom.

Colin walked through the house, grabbed a soda from the fridge, and then took his cell phone outside.

He made a call to his precinct and spoke to one of his coworkers, then was transferred to a different precinct in another jurisdiction. The one where Hailey’s no-contact order was filed.

Ten minutes later, he’d ended the call and sat in a lounger on his porch. Staring out at Puget Sound, his thoughts were in about a half-dozen places at once.

Mostly they circled back to Hailey and what had just happened between them.

He hadn’t lied when he’d implied that he was basically Mr. Monogamous. He didn’t sleep around and preferred to be in a relationship when he was sleeping with someone. If it didn’t work out, well, then he got out of the relationship. It didn’t matter how good the sex was.

And yet, here he was now, for all intents and purposes, having a casual, clandestine affair with Hailey. It was new territory for him. It made him a bit uneasy, truth be told, but then a part of him wondered if maybe this was exactly what he needed after Brenda.

He conjured up the image of his ex-fiancée and took another sip of soda.

Did he still love her? Hailey had asked at the strangest moment—right before making love again—and he hadn’t really known the answer. He hadn’t forced himself to think about it in a while.

How did you love someone who’d left you at the altar? Who didn’t even have the decency to call or write until two weeks after?

“You should’ve woken me up.”

“Shite.” Jolting to attention in his chair, he turned to glance over his shoulder.

Scrubbing a hand down a pink cheek, she looked sleepy and content, standing there in one of his T-shirts.

Cheeky lass had raided his closet.

“You looked far too content to have done such.” He leaned forward and pulled another chair close to him. “Have a seat.”

She hesitated, but then gave a small nod. “I should probably leave in a little bit, though. I have to work tomorrow.”

“Ah, right. No escaping the real world, aye?”

“Not really.” She sat down on the lounger, stretching her long, bare legs out in front of her. “I don’t mind my job, though. Actually, I love it.”

“Do you?”

“I do. I vowed to go into a career where I could support myself, and where I would actually like my work.”

“Smart thinking.” And, really, she was quite smart to have pulled herself out of that shite-hole of a life she’d grown up in. “Whatever happened to your brother?”

“Nick joined the army right after high school. He’s been enlisted ever since.”

“Impressive. You must be proud.”

“I am.” A sad smile flickered across her face. “Though I miss him.”

“Do you see him much?”

“Not that often. Maybe once a year. The occasional holiday.”

“Do you spend holidays with your mother?”

“I’ve seen my mother…” she hesitated and gave a harsh laugh, “…let’s just say I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen her since I left home.”

Stunned by that revelation, Colin shook his head. “You’ve not kept a relationship with your mother?”

“We share blood. So there will always be a biological relationship.” She folded her hands over her stomach and kept staring straight at the water. “The few times we had contact was either a fluke encounter or her calling to borrow money.”

“Do you give her some?”

“I did once or twice,” she admitted softly. “When I first became a nurse and had steady checks coming in. I felt guilty. Felt maybe I could still help her.”

“And then you realized…”

“That she’s a slave to the drugs. A slave to alcohol, and that’s where all my money would always go to.”

“So you stopped.”

“I stopped.”

Respect for her slid through him and he caught her hand, lacing their fingers together, and squeezed.

“Good on you, sweetheart. That can’t have been easy.”

She didn’t pull away, but neither did she curl her fingers around his. They were somewhat stiff in his grasp, as if she was mentally fighting his touch, but he didn’t retreat.

“It wasn’t, but it became easy. Soon I was ignoring her calls and eventually I changed my number.”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

She paused, thinking about it. “I think three years ago.”

He nodded and followed her gaze out to the water. A white ferry could be seen through the trees, making its way to the dock in Clinton.

“I called Skagit County PD.”

Her hand jerked, and suddenly he could feel her gaze on him.

“You did?”

“Aye.”

“You told them about Curt?”

“I’ve a friend or two who work there. I gave them your name and mentioned you’d be coming in to file a report.” He turned his head to look at her again and found her uneasy gaze on him. “You really should, Hailey.”