Killing Game (5 page)

She pulled the other recliner so it was next to hers.

He sat down on it sideways and rested his elbows on his knees, setting his carrier bag down in between his feet.

“So... why are we up here and not down there? Don’t tell me you don’t like the place?”

“No.” Her eyes widened to emphasize her point. “I love it,
Cain,
it’s just so empty right now. It makes me lonely.”

He frowned. “Lonely?”

“There’s no comfort, no feeling of safety. It’s so void of life and color... kinda like your place.” She grinned at him, evidently liking the way they had settled into an easy banter and were already comfortable around each other. In his eyes, it wasn’t a good thing. She’d walked into his life and was steadily turning it upside down, and he didn’t know what to make of it, but he knew one thing, he couldn’t let it go on. He had to keep his distance, just like he’d said he would. The only trouble was, when he was around her, he didn’t want to. She was staring at him, waiting for a reaction to what she’d said.

“Hey! I like my place.” He tried to look affronted.

“It’s practically empty, Cain, what kind of feelings can it inspire in you?”

None.
That was exactly the reason he liked it. He needed the emotionless void it made in him—no feeling for it, no attachment to it, no comfort and safety and the end of the day. It gave him the sense of disconnection that he needed in order to keep himself going.

“I need somewhere a little more...” Her nose wrinkled in thought.

“Girly?” Cain offered with a grin as he reached into the carrier bag.

Lily pouted and then watched him place two long stemmed glasses down on the gravel roof. He pulled a bottle of champagne out and her eyes followed the drops of condensation that ran down it.

“Are we celebrating something?”

He simply arched a brow at her question.

“Oh... yeah... yay, apartment... yay, new life.”

He popped the cork and smiled when she squealed and giggled. Pouring a glass, he handed it to her before filling his own.

“To your new life.”
He held his glass out and she tapped her own one against it with a ‘clink’.

They both lay back on their recliners and Lily giggled.

“Isn’t this terribly refined?”

He chuckled at her.
“Abso-bloody-lutely.”

She sighed and watched an airplane contrail arching across the fading sky above them. It struck her how relaxed they were together and she wondered if all friendships started out strangely in New York. Back home, she’d shunned all her friends for the sake of being with Andrew, severing the ties of friendship under false pretenses. Now she was lying on a rooftop in New York, feeling relaxed by a combination of the champagne, the crisp refreshing air that filled her lungs and the guy next to her—the man responsible for giving her a new life, a fresh start.

She narrowed her eyes at the sky as she thought about how funny life was. She’d thought she had it all—a man who loved her, a life full of potential riches and never needing anything again—but destiny had deemed it time to shake her up and set her down in a new city, giving her a chance to change her life, to make it her own. Now she had a guy who had given her the world and asked for nothing in return, and a life full of endless possibilities, and she was happier than she’d ever been. Standing on her own two feet was going to be hard, but it was going to be so much more fulfilling than having everything laid at her feet.

“It’s beautiful up here,” she breathed quietly and listened to him sigh. She waited patiently for his answer as her eyes continued to follow the patterns in the sky.

“Feels like... forget it...” Cain’s tone was gentle and dreamy as he struggled to push his feelings back down inside again, stopping them from breaking free and coming to the surface.

“Tell me,” Lily said softly, hoping to encourage him into speaking and telling her what he wanted to say. Something deep inside said that he was going to say something beautiful and she was going to see just what he hid under his calm exterior.

Cain couldn’t refuse her. The words were already rising unbidden into his mouth and pushing their way out.

“Feels as though we’re above it all.
The fast pace of the city is down there, far below us, with cars racing and people pushing, everyone scurrying about in a vain attempt to get nowhere fast. Up here, it’s quiet, peaceful... feels like the world has slowed down and everything is fading away with the sunset.” He stared up at the darkening sky. The vapor trails of the planes criss-crossed it, making a chequerboard pattern.

He held his breath as he felt his heart expand, reveling in the release of emotions.

“Just you, me and a bottle of champagne, enjoying the sunset and escaping life, just us...” Lily sighed at him.

He moved his head to look at her, his eyes meeting hers and narrowing slightly.

“Just us,” he echoed quietly.

Lily sipped her drink and then sighed again, enjoying the sensation of calm in her body. It made her feel as though she was weightless, with nothing to worry about and not a care in the world.

“Do you think if we stayed ‘til it got dark we could see stars? I could never see them in LA,” she said, her eyes idly perusing the sky.

Cain felt as though he was already seeing stars, or at least a reflection of their beauty embodied in a girl.

“Cain?”

“Suppose we could. You can catch glimpses of them from the top of the Empire State Building.” He replied in a matter of fact tone as he sipped his champagne and remembered the first time he’d gone up there. It was shortly after he’d arrived in New York and before he started doing contracts for a living. It had been back when he was just him and not a hit man.

“Really?”
Her eyes widened in amazement. “No...
but
it’s so bright... the city... it must drown them out.”

“It’s nice up there, like this...” he intimated where they were lying. “...Relaxing and quiet. The real world is miles below and nothing can touch you up there... you’re free.”

Lily listened to his words and they hit her hard. He’d sounded as though he was thinking out loud, his voice low and quiet as he let the words drift out into the open. She wondered what was so bad in his world that he needed to escape like this, needed to get away from the real world and be free.

“So can you really see the stars? They’d be faint, I’m guessing.” She blinked at him and tried to change the course of their conversation as he frowned up at the sky, clearly pondering what he’d just said to her.

“You can.” He brought his eyes back down from the heavens to her and smiled. “I’ll take you up there someday soon and show you. I’ve never been up there with company.”

“I’d like that. New York is great, well, what I’ve seen of it... but I kinda got lonely today. This city is so full of life and it’s like its own little world but I didn’t feel part of that world. I felt like I was on the outside looking in, waiting for an invitation... being here... up here with you... feels like I got invited.” She paused and caught the soft look on his face, his clear blue eyes watching her intently as she spoke her thoughts. “I guess I got lonely because I was watching people with their friends, laughing with their lovers and being with their families.”

“Hey,” he reached over and gently touched her hand, his thumb brushing against her soft skin in a comforting way, “missing home?”

Lily heaved a long sigh and expelled her reserve with it. She wanted to be open this time, wanted to let someone in and just be herself rather than the girl she used to try to be. Being open was hard. A part of her was scared that by doing so with him she was going to get hurt again like she had with Andrew.

“No,” she said resolutely. His head tilted to one side as he leaned on one elbow, his hand still placed over hers.
“Just my little sister.
I’m so used to her being under my feet everywhere I go. She’d love it here. I know she would.”

She gave him an
embarrassed
smile and dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn’t usually talk so unguardedly, not even with Andrew.

“Is she a lot younger than you?”

“Sarah? No. She’s only a year younger, she’ll be seventeen soon.” Lily raised her eyes to meet his and smiled at the confused look on his face.

“But you’re seventeen.”

“I turn eighteen in a few days time.”

His brows lifted and his mouth opened slightly, his head rising into a look that clearly said ‘ahh’.

“Better get you a present then.” He took his hand away from hers and glanced at it.

She could feel the warmth of his fingers still lingering on her skin and wondered if he could to.

“Don’t be silly, you’ve already given me so much. What you’ve done is like a lifetime of birthdays and Christmases,” she said.

“I insist.” Cain lay back on the chair, his hands coming up to rest behind his head like a pillow. “No arguments.”

Lily zipped her mouth shut and lay down again, her eyes scanning the heavens above them as they turned from orange to dark blue. She drank down the rest of her glass of champagne.

* * *

Watching the faint pinpricks appear in the darkened sky, Cain lit up a cigarette and took a long drag on it. He could feel Lily watching him as she refilled their glasses, the bottle of champagne now practically empty.

Lily giggled as she held the glass out to him. She gave him a wide smile as he reached over and took it from her, their fingers brushing accidentally.

He swallowed noisily and brought the champagne glass to his lips. The rim of it tasted like cherries. He realized that she’d given him her glass by mistake and the taste was her lip-gloss. Closing his eyes, he pressed his bottom lip against where hers had been on the glass and cursed himself for being so foolish about such a little thing, for wanting to know what she’d taste like if he kissed her right now. As the taste of her lip-gloss faded away and was replaced with the cool sensation of champagne, he sighed.

“Whatcha thinking?”
Lily looked over at him, curiosity evident in her eyes.

“It’s getting late.” Cain sat up and placed the glass down, part of him saying he was asinine for thinking anything could ever come from being with her. The second she knew the real him, she’d be out of the door.
If it even got that far in the first place.

“Don’t go... please?” Lily looked up at him with wide eyes as he stood.

“It’s been a long day...”

“That’s exactly what you said yesterday,” she interjected sharply.

He couldn’t hide the frustration as it flitted across his features, his jaw tightening with it.

“I meant it then and I mean it now.” He ran a hand over his hair and realized that she was going to think he was crazy for his sudden change in temperament.

She sat up. “Cain?”

He looked down at her and heaved a sigh.

“What?” His shoulders sagged as her eyes met his, searching his face for a reason behind why he was suddenly so desperate to leave her.

“Can I come home with you?” Her voice trembled. “I know there’s a bed here, but like I said...”

“It’s not comforting yet. You don’t feel safe.” He hung his head as he smiled, thinking about the fact that she felt safe with him when the reality was that she was safer away from him. Closing his eyes, he listened to the distant sounds of the city. A police car siren echoed in the distance and planes circled overhead, waiting to land. When he opened his eyes, he was looking straight into hers. She’d come to stand in front of him and was so close that he swore he could feel her soft breath against his skin.
“Just for tonight.”

“Thank you!” Lily clapped her hands and then looked demure as he smiled amusedly. She muttered.
“Stupid champagne.”

* * *

The taxicab ride to his place passed in silence. Cain didn’t know what to say to her as his internal battle raged on, part of him saying to make a break for it and stop being so idiotic, and the rest telling him that love was worth any cost.

Lily toyed with her overnight bag as she sat next to him. He watched her. Her eyes lingered on the outside world as it whizzed past the taxi window.

She sighed and his brows wrinkled into a frown as he wondered what she was thinking. Her mood seemed to be linked to his somehow. The instant he’d become quiet, she had too.

Stepping out of the cab, he slipped the driver a twenty and then walked to the front door, unlocking it and holding it open for her to walk through. She smiled as she passed him, a thousand watt smile that made his heart skip a beat, and he took a deep breath before following her into the building.

Twisting the doorknob, he pushed the door to his apartment open and stepped in. His eyes automatically scanned the
room,
coming to rest first on the closed blinds and then on the door to his left.

Lily walked in behind him and frowned down at the floor. Just inside the door was a large brown envelope. Picking it up, she held it out to him.

“Cain... you have a...” she flipped it over and was going to say ‘letter’ but there was no direction on the front of it, not even his name. She frowned curiously at it.
“...unmarked envelope.”

He turned and frowned. Stepping towards her, he hastily took the envelope and then walked into the kitchen, leaving her alone.

She closed the front door and flicked the latches shut. Turning around, she gave a quick glance to the mystery locked door and then settled down on the couch. She flicked the television on, turning the sound down to a low level as she pretended to watch it but actually tried to listen to Cain in the kitchen.

“Shit!” Cain hissed as he read the note in front of him. He was being instructed to lay low for a few days until the whole police investigation blew over.

Setting fire to the note, he lit his cigarette with it and then placed it into the sink and watched it burn. It was the first time he’d ever had to lay low and the first time since starting his profession that he’d felt flustered inside. Did the police suspect something? Did they suspect him?