“Cold? I wish I were cold. It would make things a hell of a lot easier for me.” He fell to his knees in front of her. “You want comfort? I’ll give you comfort. Even though I don’t think he deserves you blubbering about him.”
She stiffened. “I’m not blubbering. And I don’t want your—” She stopped as he pulled her into his arms. “Let me go. What do you think you’re—”
“Shut up,” he said roughly, his hand on the back of her head, pressing her face into his shirt. “Cry if you feel like it. I can’t give you understanding, but I’ve got a handy shoulder and I respect your right to your opinion.” His hand was stroking her hair. “I respect
you.
”
His big hand in her hair felt like a bear’s paw, she thought. There was a clumsiness that should have been irritating but instead was oddly comforting. “Let me go. This is…weird.”
“Tell me about it. But I’m all you’ve got right now. I’m better than a soggy pillow, aren’t I?”
“Marginally,” she whispered. Her arms instinctively tightened around him. It wasn’t the truth. She could feel the pain and shock easing as if it were ebbing into him, as if he were willing it to leave her. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I’d never expect it of you.”
“It’s a surprise to me too. I don’t know how to do this and it makes me mad. I’m not good at all this sensitive stuff. Sex is easy, but I can’t—” He drew a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to mention sex right now. It just came out. Well, what the hell do you expect? I’m a man.”
“And you respect me so deeply.”
He pushed her back to look down into her face. “I meant that. You’re smart and you’re kind and you’re a good mother. And I’m a good judge of maternal skills because I’ve had some foster stand-ins that were real doozies. It’s not your fault your head’s all messed up.”
“My head’s not messed up. You have to be the most tactless man on the face of the earth and I can’t deal with you right—”
“Shh.” He pulled her back into his arms. “I’ll keep my mouth closed. At least, I’ll try. If you start praising Edmunds, I don’t promise anything. He didn’t deserve you.”
“He was a decent man. It wasn’t his fault he married the wrong—” She broke off. She wasn’t going to convince him and it was kind of nice having someone who was entirely in her corner. At least in this moment of hurt and despair. Tomorrow he’d probably turn away, but now he was here and offering help she desperately needed. “And he’d be alive if it weren’t for me.”
“Great. Another victim at your door. Don’t you ever get tired of carrying around that load of guilt?” He stood up, bringing her with him. “If he’d been with you, you’d have been fighting Sanborne together. His death might never have happened.” He pushed her down on the bed and lay down beside her. “Don’t stiffen up on me. I’m not going to jump you. I just can’t keep that position all night without getting a charley horse.” He gathered her close again. “This okay? If it’s not, I’ll leave you. I promise.”
“Are you telling the truth?” she asked unevenly.
“Probably not. Like I said, I’m not very sensitive. I have a tendency to try to bulldoze when I believe I’m right. I’d probably do my best to talk you out of it.”
He was like a battering ram, and she didn’t want to do battle. She believed he was honestly attempting to help her and was no threat tonight. She was glad, because he was someone to hold on to in the darkness that was beginning to come too near. “Too much talk…” She closed her eyes. “Just let me go to sleep, Royd.”
“Sure.” He pulled up the sheet and tucked it around them. “Sleep well. I’ll keep you safe, Sophie.”
He’d keep her safe…. Strange, Dave had never said those words. Their marriage had never resounded with those basic primitive needs. He’d amused her, he’d filled her with admiration for his fine intellect, and she’d liked his body. In the beginning they’d had common goals and later they’d had Michael. He’d loved Michael….
“Shit,” Royd said roughly. “Stop crying. I don’t like it.”
“Tough.” She opened her eyes to look up at his frowning face. “Didn’t you cry when your brother died?”
He was silent a moment. “Yes. But that was me. I don’t like you to do it. I didn’t know I’d feel like this.” His lips tightened. “But if you have to, go ahead.”
“Thank you,” she said with irony. “I’ll do that.”
He laid his head back on the pillow. “I’m saying all the wrong things. You probably wish Jock were here. He’d know how to handle this.”
“No, I don’t want Jock here. I want him with Michael.” She closed her eyes again. “And, yes, he’d be much more sensitive than you. But I believe you’re trying to help me and I appreciate it. Just give me a few hours and I won’t need either one of you.”
“Okay.” His big hand was stroking her hair again. “I’ll do whatever you want—for the next few hours, anyway.”
She was aware of that endearing clumsiness again. Usually, he was one of the most graceful men she’d ever run across, but not now. He was obviously facing a new situation and it was bothering the hell out of him. And he was doing it for her. “Thank you.” This time there was no sarcasm in her tone.
“You’re welcome.” He settled closer. He whispered, “And I’m glad Jock’s not here either….”
She was asleep.
He should let her go.
Not yet. Royd stared into the darkness, his arms tightening around Sophie. He didn’t want her to wake and find herself alone. She was feeling too alone and vulnerable now anyway. His presence might not be the one she wanted, but that was too bad. He was a port in the storm that was engulfing her and it was an indication of how alone she felt that she had accepted him.
Why the devil had he fought so hard to make her let him stay? Her pain shouldn’t matter to him as long as she could function.
Bull, it did matter.
She
mattered. He was coming too close to her. He’d watched her, talked to her, seen her fear, seen her courage. He’d fought to let it mean nothing to him. It wasn’t working. He had to force himself to keep his distance, to ignore the urge to touch her, stroke her, ease her.
Sex.
Oh yes, definitely sex. The arousal of his body right now was testament to that truth. It wasn’t easy to lie here next to her and not move over her. Why not do it? he thought recklessly. He’d never been known for his restraint, and Sophie was very vulnerable at this moment. He could make her want it. What the hell was he doing trying to be some kind of noble schmuck? He’d always taken sex where he found it, as long as it didn’t hurt the woman. Sophie was tough and she didn’t give a damn about him. She wouldn’t be hurt by a one-night stand.
If it was a one-night stand. He wasn’t sure if that would be enough for him.
Stop thinking about it. He’d given her his promise and it was just making him more—
She stirred against him with a whimper.
Shit.
Her face was a pale blur in the darkness but he could see the dark spread of her lashes on her cheeks. She looked as helpless as a child.
Dammit, she wasn’t a child. She was a woman who’d had a child and gone through hell for the last years. Sex could be comfort. It didn’t have to be—
But there wouldn’t be any comfort connected with any sex between them, so stop making excuses for taking what he wanted. It wasn’t going to happen because he’d made that damn promise.
She smelled of lemon shampoo and clean soap.
Keep it burning low. Think of something else. He wasn’t a kid. He might not be used to restraint, but he could do anything he had to do.
He hoped.
She cuddled closer to him.
It was going to be a long night.
11
M
idmorning sunlight was streaming into the hotel room when Sophie opened her eyes the next day.
Royd was no longer beside her. Loneliness surged through her.
Stupid. Of course she was alone. She’d drifted in and out of sleep during the night and he’d been there but that didn’t mean he—
“Good morning.” Royd stood in the doorway. “How are you doing?”
“Better.” Her lips twisted. “Or maybe not. Maybe I’m just numb. But, at least, I can think now.”
“Then you’d better grab a shower and get dressed. We’ve got to get out of here.”
“Now?” She sat up in bed. “Right away?”
“The sooner the better.” He tossed her the newspaper. “You’re on the front page again. Rehash of the same story but it’s a good picture and we don’t want anyone recognizing you.” He paused. “There’s a picture of Michael too. The police are concerned about his safety.”
“So am I.” She looked down at the photo of Michael. “They think I’d kill my son? They think I’m that nuts?”
“Your father killed your mother.”
“And insanity runs in the family?” She swung her feet to the floor. “I’ll be ready to leave in thirty minutes. Is that good enough?”
He shook his head. “I’ll start packing for you.”
She got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. “I can do it.”
“I’m spinning my wheels waiting for you.” He went to the desk and unplugged her laptop. “I need something to do.”
She could see that. He looked restless and on edge. “Then look up the
Constanza
. I didn’t do it last night.”
“You were a little preoccupied,” he said. “But I checked on it when I got up this morning. It’s a Portuguese vessel but flies under a Liberian flag. Forty-two years old and can be leased to the highest bidder.” He paused. “It’s interesting that the last person who leased it was Said Ben Kaffir.”
She stopped at the door. “And who is he?”
“A weapons dealer who supplies every religious fanatic and scumbag in Europe and the Middle East.”
“Weapons dealer,” she repeated. “And REM-4 creates a hell of a powerful weapon.”
“Everything from suicide bombers to skilled assassins willing to risk their lives without question.”
“And you think Ben Kaffir is involved in Sanborne’s plans?”
He shrugged. “Who knows? But it’s an interesting coincidence.” He slipped the laptop in its case. “I’ll have to explore it further as soon as I get the chance. Snap to it. Fifteen minutes, Sophie. I’ll meet you at the car.”
“Ten minutes,” she said. He was curt and businesslike and completely different from the man who had held her through the night, she thought as she closed the bathroom door. No, that wasn’t true. Royd may have been different last night, but this was no Jekyll and Hyde transformation. He had held her, helped her, but his gentleness had been awkward, and he was the first to admit that he had said all the wrong things.
But he had been honest, and that frankness had been devoid of any hint of phoniness. Perhaps that was why she had been able to accept his sympathy. What he said was what he meant. That was a comfort in itself.
But she couldn’t accept it again, she thought wearily. She had already taken too much from Royd when he’d been sent to Garwood. They had to work together because it could be the only way they could beat Sanborne and Boch, but she had to be careful not to let him give her any more than absolutely necessary.
Royd glanced at his watch when she got into the car. “Ten minutes. You’re a woman of your word.” He started the engine. “I checked out and called Kelly. No undue activity at the facility. Sanborne showed up and was questioning everyone, but Kelly’s not under suspicion.” He paused. “He went first to the human resources office and checked the safe. And that means the disk you took may be valuable. Pop it into the computer and let’s check it out.”
“Not now. We can do it later.”
He glanced at her. “Later?”
“When we get to Scotland.”
He smiled. “We’re going to MacDuff’s Run?”
“Of course. I have to be the one to tell Michael his father’s dead. And Michael may be tracked down by either the police or Sanborne. I don’t even know MacDuff. I’ve been taking Jock’s word about him. I can’t be sure that he’ll protect Michael and keep him away from both of them. It’s time I met him so that I can judge for myself. I have to be sure.”
“I can see that.” His smile faded. “But he’d be safer with almost anyone than you, Sophie.”
“I know.” Her hands clenched nervously together. God, she felt helpless. “And Jock trusts MacDuff. But
I
have to trust him.”
He nodded. “Then we go to Scotland.”
Relief surged through her. “You don’t have to go with me. I wouldn’t put you in that kind of jeopardy. I just have to have some way of getting the right documents to get me out of the country. Like MacDuff managed for Michael. You can do that, can’t you?”
“Probably.” He backed out of the parking lot. “But I’m not going to do it. It would be too dangerous and we have to work fast. We’ll have to do without documents.”
“What?”
“I can fly a plane and I learned a lot about smuggling when I was in Asia. I imagine I can smuggle you out of here and into Scotland.”
“What about Homeland Security?”
“What about it? What do you have to lose?” His brows rose. “Other than your life if they shoot us down.”
“Is that likely?”
“If it were, I wouldn’t do it.” His smile faded. “Trust me, Sophie.”
“I have a problem with trust.”
“That’s pretty obvious. But this won’t be a first for me, Sophie.”
She studied his face. No, there probably weren’t too many firsts left for him. “Okay, let’s do it. When can you arrange for this plane?”
“It’s already done.” He checked his watch. “It should be ready at Montkeyes Airport by the time we get there in about an hour.”
She stared at him in bewilderment. “What? Montkeyes?”
“It’s a private airport between here and Richmond, Virginia. Very private. Very discreet.”
“And you already arranged for it?”
“I’ve come to know you pretty well. I knew what would be first on the agenda. I even called Jock and told him to make sure that Michael didn’t hear about Edmunds’s death from anyone else.” He made a face. “I was only hoping that you wouldn’t insist on us jerking Michael away from MacDuff’s Run.”
“I still may do it.”
“Then that’s the breaks of the game. I’ll have to deal with it.”
“No, I’ll have to deal with it. Michael’s my responsibility.” She looked away. “I wish I could do without your help. I’ve just been telling myself how I can’t lean on you any longer and then I ask you to do this.”
“Don’t worry about it. I always get my own back.”
There was something in his tone that caused her gaze to fly back to his face. His expression was totally unreadable.
He glanced sideways and smiled. “You’re doubting me. Good God, I’m no knight in shining armor. You’re confusing me with Jock. After last night you should realize that I’m no fount of human kindness.”
“Last night was a surprise to me,” she said slowly.
“It was a surprise to me too.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “In more ways than one. I’m not what you call a restrained or tolerant man.”
She stiffened. “I don’t ask for your tolerance. I don’t need it. What I felt for Dave was my own business.”
“I wasn’t talking about Edmunds.” He punched the button for the radio. “I’m over it. I can deal with that too. If you’d really still cared about him, you’d have hit me over the head with a lamp. You didn’t do it, so I figure you’re far enough away from the relationship to see what I was saying had a kernel of truth.”
She wanted to deny it, but he was right. Why had she wanted to blind herself after Dave’s death to the truth she’d admitted in life?
“It’s okay.” He was studying her expression. “When anyone dies, it’s normal to think they deserved better than they got. Unless it’s someone like me, who gets jealous as hell and reacts like the savage I am.”
Jealous?
“Yes, I said it,” he said curtly. “I did it on purpose because I want you to start thinking about it. I want to go to bed with you. I’ve wanted it almost from the day I met you.”
She felt a surge of heat go through her. Push it back. Crazy. “You said, you’ve been in the jungle too long,” she said unevenly.
“Not just any woman. You. It has to be you.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“But I’m not pushing right now. So forget it, lean back, and listen to the music.”
“Forget it?” She gazed at him incredulously. “You don’t want me to forget it.”
“Hell, no. I want you to store it away and bring it out and stroke it occasionally until you get used to the idea.”
She moistened her lips. “That’s not going to happen.”
He ignored her words. “I think you’d like me. I’m not smooth and glib. I won’t breathe sweet nothings in your ear. I don’t belong to the world you shared with Edmunds. The only education I had past high school was what I taught myself. What you see is what you get. I’m not afraid that I can’t meet the competition. I can do whatever I have to do. And I’ll bet I want you more than any man you’ve ever had and I’ll take the time to make sure you want me that much too.”
She stared at him, trying to think of something to say.
“You’ll like me,” he repeated softly.
“I don’t want to—”
“Like I said, no pressure.” He stepped on the accelerator. “I know where your priorities lie. We have a job to do.” He smiled. “Just think about it.”
How could she help it? Dammit.
His big body was only inches away from her and she could feel her heart beating faster.
She leaned back and closed her eyes.
Listen to the music, she told herself.
Listen to the music.
“What’s the story?” Boch demanded when Sanborne picked up the phone. “Have the police found her?”
“Not as far as I’m aware. My contact in the police department says they’re still searching.”
Boch cursed. “I need her out of the picture. As long as she’s running around loose, she’s a threat to negotiations. You said the frame would do it.”
“It will do it. The minute she’s picked up, she’ll be on her way to jail. The DNA evidence is solid.”
“If your man didn’t make a mistake.”
“He didn’t make a mistake. I supplied him with her hair and an excellently forged note with her saliva on the seal inviting Edmunds to meet her. I told him to clean up the crime scene.”
“And the car?”
“Is now at the bottom of the bay.” He added, “It’s now only a matter of waiting until the police pick her up. Be patient.”
“Screw patience. She’ll start yelling about you and REM-4 the minute she’s given a chance to talk to reporters.”
“She won’t talk to reporters for a while. She’ll get legal assistance first. That will give me the chance I need for my man in the police department to get to her.”
“What’s he using?”
“Cyanide.” He smiled. “Isn’t that the traditional suicide pill? What a shame the police matrons won’t find it when they search her. But after all, she is a doctor and has access to all kinds of deadly pills.”
“What about the boy? We need him dead, dammit. There’s no sympathy for a mother killing her child. We have to get to them before the police.”
“My guess is that she’ll have stashed the boy away when she realized he was in danger.”
Boch was silent a moment. “Jock Gavin?”
“That’s logical. And Gavin was under the wing of a Scottish Lord named MacDuff. I’ve sent the same man who put down Edmunds to snoop around the castle and see what he could come up with.”
“Gavin is an expert. It won’t be easy to take the boy away from him.”
“Nothing worthwhile is easy. But the man I sent has orders to report before taking action. We don’t want an international incident to stir up any more mud.”
“Who did you send? Do I know him?”
“Oh, yes. You know him.” He paused. “Sol Devlin.”
“Holy shit!”
“I hope you’ll agree he’s efficient enough. After all, he’s one of yours. You were very proud of him when he finished at Garwood.” He added slyly, “Or perhaps it was just that you needed a success after Royd bolted.”
“Devlin was a success. He’s almost perfect, everything that Royd should have been.”
“I agree. Lethal and obedient. That’s why I’ve been saving him for a special job like this.”
“I wanted to use him as an example for Ben Kaffir.”
“That’s down the road. This is more important.”
Boch was silent. “Okay, I suppose you’re right.”
Of course he was right, Sanborne thought sourly. Grudging bastard.
“How are you going to kill the boy?”
“With the same gun that killed Edmunds. But if that bitch is on her way to him it will be better to wait until she’s close enough to him to be suspicious. That’s why I told Devlin to watch and wait.”
“And if she’s not? What if the police pick her up?”
“Then we kill the boy and toss him into the sea so no one will know when it was done. And Devlin didn’t use all the DNA evidence at the Edmunds crime scene. It will all work out.” He was tired of defending himself to Boch. “I have to hang up now.”
“Wait. Have you received the analysis of the latest results Gorshank sent us?”
“No. It should be coming in any time.”
“But no matter how it comes back, it still shouldn’t stop us from moving.”
Gorshank’s results had everything to do with how they proceeded, Sanborne thought impatiently. Why couldn’t he see that? Boch was using his usual steamroller tactics and he wasn’t about to argue with him right now. “We’ll talk about it later. I have to check in with Devlin.” He pressed the disconnect and then dialed Devlin’s cell phone. “Where are you?” he asked when Devlin answered.
“In the hills above the castle. I haven’t seen anyone come in or out. I have to get closer.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“There’s a shepherd’s croft near here. I’ve had to keep dodging to avoid being seen.”
“You’re making excuses. If you have to get nearer, do it.”
“If that’s what you want me to do.” There was no meekness in his tone. It was quiet and without expression but Sanborne didn’t feel he was dealing with a zombie. It had been part of the Garwood program to have the subjects behave perfectly normally in every other aspect but obedience. Yes, Devlin was almost perfect. Sanborne could envision him standing on the hill, compact, muscular, with sandy hair in a crew cut. A magnificent machine totally at Sanborne’s command. It was quite heady to have that much power over a human being. He could feel the flush of exhilaration surging through him. Money was all very well, but dollars couldn’t equal the charge that total domination could bring him. He’d had power at his fingertips for most of his adult life but this was different, this was excitement. “Make no mistakes, but do what you were sent to do.” He hung up.