Killer Cuts: A Dead-End Job Mystery (25 page)
BOOK: Killer Cuts: A Dead-End Job Mystery
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“You’ll never have a normal life,” Margery said. “But now we’re
back to the question I wanted to ask: What are you wearing for your wedding?”
“I have a nice off-white suit I’ve only worn once,” Helen said.
“I love the symbolism,” Margery said. “Slightly used—just like the bride.What is the matter with you?”
“I’ve been broke for so long, I got out of the habit of shopping.”
“If you don’t have the money, I’ll buy you a wedding dress,” Mar gery said.”Is Phil wearing a tux?”
“He’s renting one. But I can’t see myself in a long white gown with a veil,” Helen said.”Been there, done that, tried to forget it.”
“So you picked a bad husband the first time around,” Margery said. “Big deal.You think you’re the only woman who ever got divorced? Rob is gone, and you’re marrying a good man. Not many women get a decent second chance. Celebrate your fresh start. Even tough guys are romantics at heart.”
Margery pointed a bloodred nail at Helen’s chest. Her cigarette’s an gry glow matched her eyes.The landlady looked like an ancient goddess demanding a sacrifice. Helen knew there was no escape.
“Okay,” Helen said. “I’ll look for another dress. But I’ll only buy one if I like it.”
“We’re going to three places.You’ll find something, or get married in the nude,” Margery said.”Go change, and feed your cat, while I ask Peggy to come with us. Maybe she’ll talk some sense into you.”
Helen did as she was told. She was greeted by a howling Thumbs. She fed her big-pawed cat, then opened the old Samsonite suitcase she kept in her bedroom closet and took out her emergency cash. A root canal had pared it down to $750. She found another hundred bucks in her teddy bear.The bear stash would cover the flowers.
She changed into fresh clothes and put on her best heeled sandals. Margery was pacing the sidewalk in front of Helen’s apartment, Peggy walking alongside her. The three women piled into Margery’s roomy white Lincoln Town Car.
“Where are you registered for your wedding?” Peggy said.
“Tiffany and Williams-Sonoma,” Margery said, her voice dripping sarcasm.
“Really? That’s nice,” Peggy said.
“It’s also not true,” Helen said.”Phil and I don’t need another toaster or more china.We’d rather you donated money to our favorite charities.”
“That’s what the movie stars do,” Peggy said. “It’s a nice trend for adult weddings.”
“I like Kiva,” Helen said.”Phil would like money donated to Habi tat for Humanity.”
“Is Kiva the organization where you give small loans to people in developing countries to help their businesses?”
“That’s it. And Habitat for Humanity builds houses for people.”
“Very uplifting,” Margery said. “But we’re at our first stop, Britt’s Bridal Boutique.”
A sign in the window screamed Free Tiara!
“A tiara—just what I need for a backyard wedding,” Helen grumbled.
They were met by a bubbly brown-haired saleswoman.”I’m Stacey,” she said.”Who’s the lucky bride?”
“I am,” Helen said.
“Oooh. A mature bride,” Stacey cooed.
“She’s not young, but I wouldn’t call her mature,” Margery said.
“What style of dress are you looking for?” Stacey asked, bravely at tempting her job.
“Ask her,” Helen said, pointing to Margery.
Stacey looked confused. “I thought you were getting married,” she said to Helen.
“I am,” Helen said.”But she’s directing the dress search.”
“Are you the mother of the bride?” Stacey asked.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but she’s not one of them,” Margery said.
Stacey’s smile dimmed. She looked like a hurt puppy. Peggy took pity on her.”My friend Helen has a bad case of bridal nerves. She’d like something for an outdoor wedding.”
Helen told Stacey her dress size, and the three women crowded into the shop’s largest dressing room. It had a triple mirror and a small dais for the bride-to-be.The carpet was littered with straight pins, tags and white threads. Margery sat in the only chair. Peggy propped herself against the wall.
“I hate looking at myself in dressing room mirrors,” Peggy said. “I look all saggy and horrible.”
“At least you get to keep your clothes on,” Helen said. “If I could dress in the dark, I would.”
“Quit whining,” Margery said. “When you’re as old as I am, you’ll both wish you looked as good as you do today.”
Stacey thrust a white dress into the room.”Try this mermaid gown,” she said, and ran as if she were pursued by an ax murderer.
Helen climbed into the stiff white satin gown.The strapless dress fit tight at the bust, waist and hips, and then fanned out like a mermaid’s tail below the knees.
“I look like a forties torch singer,” Helen said.”Unless you’re hold ing the marriage in a cocktail lounge, this dress is out.”
“It’s a little formal,” Peggy said.
Stacey knocked timidly on the dressing room door.”Well, what do you think?”
“Pretty, but not for me,” Helen said. “Satin is too warm for an out door wedding.”
Stacey was back with a simple white dress.”Here’s a nice, cool linen.”
Helen tried it on. Margery zipped up the back while Helen but toned the cuffs. Stacey waited for the verdict.
“Too wrinkled,” Peggy said.
“She’s talking about the dress, not the bride,” Margery said.
“Wrinkles are the hallmark of natural fabrics,” Stacey said. “First Lady Nancy Reagan had wrinkles painted into the suit she wore in one portrait.”
“I’d better try something unnatural,” Helen said.”I’ll look rumpled halfway through the ceremony.”
“How about this lovely cotton dress?” Stacey said.”It will look fresh. It has sheer sleeves and an empire waist.”
Helen tried on the dress and looked at herself in the mirror. “The sixties live,” she said.
“Looks like a nightgown,” Margery said.
After four more dresses, they waved good-bye to Britt’s.
Margery and Peggy dragged Helen through the discount Bridal Barn. They made snarky remarks while Helen struggled in and out of wedding dresses.
A long dress with masses of white lace ruffles “makes you look like a country singer,” Margery said.
“I don’t want to remind Phil of Kendra, his ex-wife,” Helen said.
“I like the trumpet sleeves on that one,” Peggy said.
“Too bad you have to wear the dress that goes with them,” Margery said.
A high-necked dress was “too matronly.” A plunging neckline was “too slutty.”A princess style was “too young.”A dress with creamy layers of satin looked like “melting ice cream.”
The rude comments didn’t upset Helen. She needed to be distracted from memories of her disastrous first marriage. Her mother had lec tured her on purity and faithfulness while they shopped for dresses.Too bad Mom didn’t lecture Rob, Helen thought, as she adjusted a haltertop gown.
“That halter is a seventies throwback,” Peggy said.
“More like a seventies throw-up,” Margery said.
She and Peggy both nixed a simple white cocktail suit that Helen liked.”Makes you look like an accountant,” Margery said.
“I am an accountant,” Helen said.”At least, I used to be.”
“It usually doesn’t show,” Margery said.”Are you getting married or going for an audit?”
“It’s easier to find the right man than the right outfit.” Helen was starting to despair. Peggy kept collapsing into fits of giggles.
“Okay, ladies, we’re getting silly,” Margery said. “Let’s go to Nord strom.That department store has good clothes.”
Three dresses later, Peggy zipped Helen into a short cream dress with a scoop neck.
“Perfect!” Peggy said.
“Shows lots of leg,” Margery said.”Phil will like that.”
“I like it, too, if that counts for anything,” Helen said.
“Well, praise the Lord,” Margery said. “Those sandals you have on will work, unless you want to buy new ones.”
“I wore new shoes at my first wedding,” Helen said.”My feet were blistered the next day.These are comfortable. If they look good, I’ll keep them.”
“What are you going to wear on your head?” Margery asked.
“Flowers are nice,” Peggy said.
“How about a short veil?” Helen said.
They quickly approved a small, sheer veil.The ordeal was over.
“You have the perfect dress and the perfect man,” Peggy said.”The weather is supposed to be good.What more could a bride want?”
“I’d like the wedding day to go without a hitch,” Helen said.
“Won’t happen,” Margery said.”You can count on that.”
BOOK: Killer Cuts: A Dead-End Job Mystery
4.47Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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