Kick Ass (42 page)

Only in the irrational realm of big-league sports can two of the richest guys on the planet sit back and watch suckers plead for the privilege of building them a palace.

In Broward, three cities have hurled themselves worshipfully at Arisen’s and Huizenga’s feet. Fort Lauderdale has a downtown site off Interstate 95. Pompano Beach is pushing a parcel near the harness track. And Sunrise has property located near West Broward ‘s social and cultural shrine, the Sawgrass Mills outlet mall.

The Sunrise Heat? The Pompano Panthers? These days anything is possiblewitness the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.

Backers say a sports arena will bring to a neighborhood great jobs, economic prosperity, national prestige and immeasurable civic pride.

Sound familiar? These are the same promises heard when basketball promoters lobbied for the building of the Miami Arena, which has not exactly revitalized the downtown area.

In fact, a new fiscal study of 35 major sports facilities finds little positive economic impact on the communities that turned cartwheels to attract them. Arenas and stadiums are strictly designed to make money for the team and its owners.

There’s nothing wrong with the Miami Arena. It’s not old, it’s not falling apart, and it’s not too smallin fact, on some nights it’s downright cavernous for the crowd that shows up.

Sure, it’s in a tough neighborhood, but that’s true in other basketball and hockey cities. It’s not the fans who are complaining loudest about the facility, it’s Arisen and Huizenga. They want more seats and more luxury skyboxes, which are hugely profitable.

Sports owners all over the country engage in the same strong-arming of loyal fans and local taxpayers: Give us what we want, or we’ll bolt. And too often they do.

That’s because there’s always another town with an inferiority complex and gullible politicians willing to put up somebody else’s money. It’s not about economic betterment, it’s about egos. Every place lusts for its own pro sports team.

Listen to what Fort Lauderdale’s city manager said about the benefits of a new arena: “This will bring Broward County out of the shadow of Dade.”

A baffling remark, considering that Broward is already growing much faster than Dade, and is internationally perceived as a safer and more desirable place to live.

The only shadow Broward residents ought to worry about is the one made by a tower of debt, which is what they’ll be trapped under if Arisen, Huizenga or some future sports tycoon gets antsy again in a few years.

Which seems to be the nature of the game.

A rejected rough draft of the latest Letter of Intent to move the Heat and the Panthers from Miami to Broward County:

“And whereas we could move to Boca Raton;”

“Whereas we, Micky Arisen and Wayne Huizenga, the owners of the Miami Heat and the Florida Panthers, respectively, are committed to terminating our leases at the present Miami Arena, (hereinafter referred to as ‘The Dump’);

“And whereas neither of us intends to finance, wholly or in large part, the construction of a new sports arena, despite the fact we’re both stupendously wealthy, and could probably pay for the whole darn thing out of our personal money-market accounts;

“And whereas the prospect of losing basketball or hockey has spurred local politicians to a burst of fiscal cleverness hitherto unknown in more mundane crises, such as juvenile crime or classroom overcrowding;

“And whereas the Broward County Commission has expressed verbally and in writing an almost pathological eagerness to construct a new sports arena for us, at considerable expense and public risk;

“And whereas said Broward Commission (hereinafter referred to as ‘The Big Suckers’) have acquiesced on numerous key points concerning the division of future arena revenues, including ticket sales, luxury box leases, food and souvenir concessions;

“And whereas, in the face of such blind generosity, we’d have to be out of our cotton-pickin’ minds to fork out a nickel from our own pockets;

“We therefore declare our intention to move the Miami Heat and Florida Panthers to Broward County, providing all parties agree that:

” (a) This Letter of Intent shall be entirely non-binding (hereinafter referred to as ‘worthless’ or ‘not worth the paper it’s printed on’).

” (b) This Letter of Intent shall not deprive us of our right to jerk Broward County around while we wait for other offers.

“Such jerking around (hereinafter referred to as ‘thoughtful reconsideration’) shall include but not be limited to postponing or ignoring agreed-upon deadlines, making coy and ambivalent public statements about where the teams wish to play, and generally stalling whenever it suits our purpose;

“And whereas, to our vast amusement, civic leaders and elected officials in Dade County have recently expressed an almost desperate desire to keep the Heat and/or the Panthers;

“And whereas we’d be foolish not to sit back and watch Dade and Broward compete like little children for the privilege of building us a brand-new $200 million arena;

“And whereas we don’t particularly care where the money comes from, as long as it’s not ours;

“And whereas Dade authorities appear every bit as gullible and easy to intimidate as those in Broward;

“And whereas while we find it hard to believe that local politicians are goofy enough to build two new arenas, we cannot rule out the intriguing possibility;

“Therefore each of us individually retains the right to pretend this Letter of Intent to Broward commissioners is a gag, and to continue negotiating for an extravagant new arena with Dade officials (hereinafter referred to as ‘Even Bigger Suckers’);

“Such negotiations with Dade may continue until the very day that construction on the Broward arena is completed. At that time one or both of us will sign an Amended Letter of Intent, allowing the Heat and/or Panthers to play in Broward County until something a little better comes along.

“Your pals, Wayne and Micky.”

Team rebates send tax money down the drain

March 16, 1997

Wayne Huizenga is about to pick our pockets for another $60 million.

But don’t fret, it’s all for a good cause: spiffy new toilets at the former Joe Robbie Stadium!

Huizenga believes that all Florida taxpayersmost of whom have never brought their bladder to a football gameshould subsidize renovations such as upgraded concession stands, concourses and restrooms.

This, after they’ve already bankrolled the conversion of JRS into a baseball park. Huizenga glommed the first $60 million on behalf of the Florida Marlins. Now he wants an identical handout for the Dolphins. Is the Legislature slutty enough to roll over twice for the same smooth-talking billionaire? Not only is it possible, it’s virtually a sure bet. (He’s getting another 60 mil for the Panthers’ new arena.)

The money is a massive rebate of sales tax revenuesspread over 30 yearswhich would otherwise be frittered away on extravagances such as elementary schools. And, after all, what’s more important to Florida’s futurenew textbooks for kids, or new chili-dog stands for Wayne? See, up in the Capitol, them boys loves their sports. In 1988, they approved a tax kickback to lure big-league franchises from other states. Since then, the loophole has been enlarged to funnel millions to pro teams that are already here, but have threatened to defect. Huizenga isn’t the only tycoon to cash in. Owners of the Tampa Bay Bucs and the Orlando Magic have also taken advantage of the exemption. And Micky Arison is using his $60 million rebate to help finance the new arena for the Miami Heat.

But only Wily Wayne has tried to double-dip from the same jackpot. He figures he deserves a capital improvement subsidy for every sports team he owns, even if two of them happen to play in the same ballpark. But just to show what a big heart he’s got, Huizenga promises not to use any tax money to doll up the exclusive private suites and corporate skyboxes.

According to Wayne’s lobbyist Ron Book (and we know he would never lie), the rebate will be spent “only in the areas that are accessible to the general public.”

That means you’ll be able to admire firsthand the gleaming new porcelain in your favorite fixturefor which you’ll be paying, along with your game ticket, parking fees, programs, cheese nachos and the beer you’re now getting rid of.

It’s a swell deal for Huizenga. But as long as elected lawmakers do what billionaires tell them, billionaires will continue to ask for outrageous favors.

Ordinary folks needn’t bother. Nobody who runs a mom-and-pop diner could con the state into buying them a new Mr. Coffee, much less a wall-to-wall renovation. Nor would they dream of trying.

Then again, ordinary folks can’t afford to shower politicians with the hefty campaign donations that Huizenga spreads around. That’s how votes are bought, and that’s how these boondoggles are orchestrated.

If Stadium Giveaway II sails through the Legislature as expected, as much as $120 million in public funds will have been earmarked for improvements to JRS. That particular crater in the state’s tax booty will be filled with other moneyyours, mine, the folks with the diner.

To help groveling lawmakers defend their obeisance, Huizenga’s forces have provided a sheath of hilariously inflated statistics about how much the Dolphins’ eight regular-season home games contribute to South Florida’s economy.

Think about that when you visit one of Wayne’s new toilets.

You could flush yourself silly, but you’ll never catch up to them boys in the Capitol.

Speedway lessees race to the bank

April 13, 1997

When Ralph Sanchez and Wayne Huizenga joined forces at the Homestead motor speedway, you knew good things would happen.

To Ralph and Wayne, of course. Not necessarily to Homestead.

Sure enough, Sanchez and Huizenga are about to roar away from the troubled racetrack with at least $10 million each, while the flat-broke city limply waves a checkered flag.

Sanchez claims the place can’t make it without hosting the popular Winston Cup stock car racessomething that won’t occur unless he and Huizenga sell out to NASCAR impresario Bill France.

France didn’t want the track unless the lease was watered down. Last week the city obliged.

“I walked out of the council chambers sick to my stomach. They gave away the farm,” says Steve Losner, a lawyer whose family has been in Homestead for 70 years.

It was as predictable as it is pathetic. The 65,000-seat motorsports complex was built with public funds, including $31 million from county tourist taxes and bond sales. How much will Dade get from the Sanchez sellout? Zippo.

Homestead itself has spent $8 million on the track, and is in debt for another $25 million. Its take from the new deal: nada. Amazing, considering that the city is deeply in the red, and that workers are being laid off.

Meanwhile, Wayne and Ralph can peel rubber on their way to the bank. It was a match made in heaven, two masters of finagling public funds for private projects.

By selling his share of the Homestead lease, Sanchez would maintain a perfect record: In 15 years he’s never operated a racetrack that made money. Oh, he made plentybut not the races, and not the municipalities that subsidized them.

After skipping out of downtown Miami, Sanchez found fresh suckers in hurricane-battered Homestead. True to form, he miscalculated the cost of the new speedway by about 500 percent, and his lofty promise of reviving South Dade’s economy turned out to be hot air.

Even the track itself has been a headache, beset with costly design flaws that cast large doubts upon Sanchez’s touted racing expertise. Huizenga came in as a partner by loaning $20 million for new construction.

Now Sanchez says the racetrack is “overbuilt.” Seriously, that’s what he says. He told New Times: “If I didn’t have to sell I wouldn’t sell, but this is the reality of the situation.”

Here’s the reality: He and Huizenga are making out like bandits, while taxpayers are once again eating dust.

Of all Sanchez’s failures, Homestead will be his most lucrative. In a meeting with South Dade business leaders on April 3, he admitted that he and Huizenga each will receive about $ 10 million if France buys them out.

Which seems likely, since the track’s new tenant is no longer required to share race profits with the cityone of several outlandish concessions approved by council members.

The hosing was orchestrated by none other than Alex Muxo, who did plenty of damage as Homestead’s city manager. Now conveniently employed by Huizenga, Muxo met individually with council members at the racetrack.

His message: This thing won’t ever fly without a Winston Cup weekend.

In other words, forget the Indy cars. Forget the Jiffy Lube. Forget everything Sanchez promised four years ago.

Many folks in Homestead won’t forget. Neither will some of the politicians who gave him that first $31 million. As former Metro Commissioner Maurice Ferre lamented: “I still wonder how we could have allowed this to happen.”

Join the club.[“#chapter_14”]

Choked on Growth

If three’s a crowd, what is 5 million?

September 13, 1985

Something dismal to contemplate next time you’re stuck in highway traffic:

This week the National Planning Association predicted that Florida will have 5.7 million more residents by the year 2000 than it had in 1980.The Census Bureau forecasts 7.7 million, though this is considered high. And the University of Florida’s Bureau of Economic and Business Research conservatively puts the growth at 5 million.

Which is still equivalent to absorbing the entire population of Missouri. Or, put another way, if the number of new people invading Florida during the next 15 years formed their own state, it would be more populous than 38 other states.

Incredibly, there are those walking among us who think this is wonderful news, and who are busily restructuring their banks, mapping new condominium clusters and dreaming up bigger and better trailer parks.

Meanwhile, growing numbers of dispirited Floridians wonder where it will all end, and worry about already-frayed quality of life.

“You’re talking about a 50 percent increase in a 20-year period. In terms of numbers of bodies, it’s a tremendous increase,” says Stanley K. Smith of the University of Florida.

Among the fastest growing counties are Palm Beach, Lee, Collier, St. Lucie and Martin. Broward is still growing, though not nearly as fast as before, while Dade County is stagnant, its new arrivals nearly matched by those packing up and heading north.

As expected, most newcomers hail from places that are either cold, crowded, dirty or economically depressed. By the turn of the century, they will have enlarged our numbers to 14.7 million.

As John D. MacDonald has observed, almost everyone who moves down here wants to slam the door behind him. This might be selfish, but it’s also understandable: It doesn’t take a disciple of Thoreau to notice the loveliness of Florida wane in direct proportion to humanity.

“At some point,” Smith says, “it’s possible that the quality of life will become so unattractive that no one will want to move here. That’ll solve your growth problems. But that’s like cutting off your arm to save the whole body.”

This year the Legislature passed a “growth management” law, supposedly to impose order on the state’s tumultuous development.

Frankly, the notion of “orderly growth” is about as tangible as the tooth fairy. Growth that is orderly would break a century-old tradition of lust, greed and wantonness. Already three Florida counties (Palm Beach, Broward and Dade) hold more human beings (3.5 million) than the states of Mississippi or Colorado or Oregon or Oklahoma, to name a few.

No governor in our history has voiced as much concern for the trampling of Florida as Bob Graham, but I doubt that even he has the clout to put on the brakes. He is considered bold for endorsing “growth management,” but he’d be laughed off his lectern for suggesting a growth cap.

So we’re stuck with this stampede.

Developers along the Palm Beach and Treasure Coasts can salivate at the good fortune coming their way, but those living there might ponder the lesson of boomed-out Dade County.

Dade has stopped growing because it is perceived as crowded, volatile, crime-ridden and racially tense. It is seen less as a community than a newly urbanized war zone; a place with too many people, too many problems and too few opportunities.

Broward, fast bloating, will be the next to bottom out. In a few years Palm Beach County will probably follow.

By the time it all goes sour, when even Disney and sunny beaches can’t trick people into coming, the big-money boys will have made their killing and hustled elsewhere along the Sun Belt.

Leaving everyone else to stew in traffic, and try to remember why they moved here in the first place.

Highway opens one of last frontiers to overgrowth

July 16, 1986

The Romans managed to build 53,000 miles of road without once celebrating the achievement by dressing up in frog costumes.

Things have changed since 312 B.C. The roads are better, but the PR is worse.

Thursday brings another official opening of the Sawgrass Expressway in West Broward County. This openingmarked by the imposition of a $1.50 tollshould not be confused with two previous official openings, at which great political merriment and self-congratulation occurred.

The highlight of these seemingly endless festivities has been the introduction of Cecil B. Sawgrass, a grown man dressed like a frog. Cecil B. Sawgrass is the expressway’s official mascot. If you live in Broward, you got postcards in the mail with Cecil’s green likeness inviting you to try the new expressway. “Hop to it!” Cecil implored. And, sure enough, if you drive the Sawgrass you’ll see dozens of Cecil’s little frog cousins squashed dead on the fresh asphalt.

The Romans had too much class to invent animal mascots for their roads. Of course, they never had to sell a $200 million bond issue either. These days, we are told, highways must be promoted like breakfast cereal, imprinted on the public consciousness. This is especially true when the highway doesn’t really go anywhere that the public wants to go.

The Sawgrass Expressway is a 23-mile incision that runs near the Broward-Palm Beach boundary, then jogs south along the westernmost fringe of civilization. It runs parallel to the dikes that contain the submerged Everglades conservation areas, vital South Florida watersheds. Someday the Sawgrass will link with I-595.

There’s not much to see on the highway now, and that’s the beauty of it. There are cattle grazing in open fields, hawks circling in the sky, and bass hitting in the canals (at least the canals that weren’t grossly over-dredged by road contractors). Across the dike are breathtaking waves of sawgrass and virgin wetlands.

It won’t stay this way long, which explains all the celebrating. The sound of bulldozers is the sound of money.

Don’t think for a minute that this road was built in 15 months because thousands of commuters were begging for it (try to get a pothole plugged that fast). And don’t think it was built to ease the deadly chaos of I-95, because it runs nowhere near the interstate.

The Sawgrass was built for one reason only: to open the last frontiers of Broward County for rapid development. The value of sodden rural property tends to appreciate when somebody graciously runs an expressway to it. It’s like Christmas in July.

It’s just progress, right? If you like truck routes, it’s progress.

Twenty-five years ago Dade County planners exulted in the opening of what was then called the Palmetto Bypass. The highway’s purported mission was to carry motorists on a western loop around Miami’s congested central core. Within months of its inaugural, the sparse Palmetto had attracted a bottling plant, three industrial parks, a machine shop, a metal shop, and a tractor plant. The rest is traffic history.

Today, if you were choosing the most unsightly, treacherous and truck-heavy highway in America, the Palmetto would be in the running for grand prize. It’s a mess.

Well, guess what’s already happening along the perimeters of the Sawgrass Expressway? Coral Ridge Properties just gobbled up 610 acres. Gulfstream Land is planning 29,000 residential units. Stiles Development Corp. is promising 6 million square feet of office and industrial spaceas much as all downtown Fort Lauderdale.

The hype is that the Sawgrass was built to alleviate future traffic. The opposite is true. The plan is for more, not less. The plan is a new western front ripe for mailing and townhousing.

The plan is to scour every last available acre.

Funny how nobody wants to come right out and say it. Instead they send a frog to do a buzzard’s job.

Buying a piece of Florida? See it like a native

February 16, 1987

Forgive a little boosterism, but I’m getting sick and tired of people casting aspersions on the land-sales business here in the Sunshine State. Geez, some customers want everything their way.

Last Friday’s front-page story about the mammoth General Development Corporation was the last straw. To summarize, over the past three years GDC has received more than 400 complaints from dissatisfied land and home buyers, many of whom say they didn’t get what they paid for.

Well, PARDON US FOR LIVING, OK? I mean, this is Florida. There’s a certain, uh, image to uphold.

As you know, GDC is one of these megacompanies that gobbles up tracts of real estate and turns them into “planned communities” that are all named Port Something-or-other, but aren’t really ports at all.

Flying over a planned community, you marvel at how the miracle of geometry allows so many houses to be squished onto so many side-by-side lots. This stylish platting technique is modeled after the marine barracks at Camp Lejeune.

Such developments have attracted thousands of new residents to Florida, most of whom would never dream of griping. They’re just mighty glad to be here.

As a convenience for out-of-state customers, GDC’s mannerly and low-key sales force is scattered throughout the country. What happens is that you go into the land-sales office and a very nice man or woman helps you pick out a lotthus saving you the hassle of flying all the way down here, renting a car, buying a map and trying to locate the darn thing yourselfand the bugs! Forget it.

You’d think buyers would be grateful for this service, right? Wrong. Some crybabies have had the gall to complain that the land they ended up with wasn’t the land they meant to buy. Some lots turned out to be worth only a fraction of the purchase price, and one customer said a canal near his lot turned out to be a “swamp.”

Talk about picky. Hey, pal, ever heard of a canoe?

Customers who buy GDC land site-unseen are offered a company-paid trip to visit their new property. By taking the trip, however, they waive their option to cancel the sales contract. Some might say this policy is unfair and defeats the whole purpose of the trip, but look at the other side. Think of how many freezing snowbirds would try to weasel a free vacation to Florida this way!

Then there’s the recurring problem with property appraisals. It seems that when residents try to sell their GDC lots or homes, the appraisals sometimes come up just a tad short of what was originally paid. One couple purchased a house for $65,000 in 1984; just a year later, an independent appraiser valued the place at $40,500. Another woman bought a house at Port Malabar for $67,000, and eight months later it was appraised at $43,000.

I’m sure there are excellent reasons for these minor discrepancies. So much can happen to a new house in eight months or a yearthe paint can fade, the dog can mess up the carpets, the sprinklers can turn the sidewalks orange. Fifty bucks here and there, and before you know it, you’ve got $24,000 worth of serious depreciation.

More to the point, why would anyone want to sell their lovely GDC home anyway? The whole idea is to move to Florida and spend eternity in paradise, assuming the roads eventually get paved.

Instead of whining about it, I say we applaud GDC for goosing up its prices and discouraging resales. Florida needs citizens who stay put, not buy-and-sell vagabonds who disturb the stability of a carefully planned community.

Even more importantand forgive us for getting a little misty-eyedis preserving Florida’s glorious tradition of hawking itself as shamelessly and profitably as is humanly possible. If someone sells you swampland, it’s because someone sold swampland to their fathers, and perhaps even to their grandfathers before that.

Maybe it’s in our blood, or maybe it’s just something in the water, but it is part of our heritage. Thank heavens it’s still alive.