Keys to Love (16 page)

Jesse stood and slid his arms around Evan’s waist. “That was the wicked hot guy who had his legs around your neck.”

Evan leaned close to kiss him. “That’s right. He’s a lot nicer than the brat in front of me now.”

Jesse gave him a light shove on the shoulder, followed by a kiss on the lips.

Julian smiled watching them. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the ache in his heart that usually came with seeing them share affection. It was soothed by the thought of Morgan.

He looked up the hall and saw Morgan was still at the keyboards, but noticed he wore a somber expression.

Jesse and Evan moved to go back into the dressing room. He followed them, and as they neared, Chopin snapped his head in Morgan’s direction, his tail wagging harder. The dog resisted a little as Julian guided him into the room, but obeyed with only a couple of tugs on the leash.

Julian looked to Jesse. “Can you watch him for a moment? I want to check on my boards.”

“Sure.” Jesse bent forward and clapped his hands. “Here, Chopin.”

Julian released the leash and Chopin bounded to Jesse. He left the room, closing the door behind him, and went over to Morgan.

A weak smile curved Morgan’s lips. “Hey.”

“Hi. Are you alright?”

Morgan nodded as he wrapped extra cords around his arm.

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“Yeah, it was just hard watching Jesse play with him and having to pretend he’s not my dog.”

Julian hushed his voice against listening ears. “I know, but at least you’ll still get to see him every day.” He stepped a fraction closer. “And be with him at night in my hotel rooms.”

Morgan slid his hand across a keyboard toward him. “This might not be as easy as I thought. I’m dying to kiss you right now.”

Julian laid his hand on the keyboard, his fingertips touching Morgan’s hand. “I know, but we can’t take the chance that our relationship could make your life hell.”

“I’m thinking it’s going to be more hell with the way we’re doing this.”

“I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

“Hey, Morgan!” Remmy rounded a corner, then paused at the sight of Julian. “Hey, Julian, how’s it going? You ready to launch this tour?”

Julian slowly drew his hand away from Morgan’s. “Absolutely.”

He glanced at Morgan. “I should let you get back to work.”

“Yeah,” Morgan mumbled.

Julian nodded at Remmy, then headed toward the dressing room.

Morgan watched him walk away, wondering how much secrecy their relationship could take before it suffocated. He tried to push his heavy heart aside as he turned to Remmy, but it remained leaden in his chest. He forced a smile regardless.

“What’s up?”

Remmy flicked his head for Morgan to follow him. “If you’re wrapped up here, I was hoping you could help us double check the setup on stage.”

“Yeah, sure.” Morgan walked beside him, though his thoughts stayed with Julian. How they were going about things didn’t feel right. He understood it was important to run a smooth tour. He also knew more than a couple of the roadies were banging each Keys to Love
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other. True they were on an equal level, but would people really be jealous and treat him differently if it was known he and Julian were a couple?

Another thought struck him, and with enough force it made his heart ache. What if Julian didn’t want everyone to know they were a couple because he wanted to keep his options open?

Morgan shook the thought away. That went against everything Julian said to him. But it wouldn’t be the first time a man lied to him to get what he wanted. Julian didn’t act that devious, though.

But wasn’t part of being devious, not letting it be known? What if Julian just wanted him available on those nights when he couldn’t find a hot enough groupie?

Morgan physically shook his head. Julian wouldn’t do that to him. But there again, how well did he really know him? They’d only spent one night together.

“Morgan?”

Morgan lifted his head and looked at Remmy. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? I don’t think you’ve heard anything I’ve said.”

“I’m sorry. I was wrapped up in my thoughts.” Morgan let out a couple ragged chuckles. “I think it’s nerves with tonight being my first concert.”

Remmy smiled and patted him on the back. “You’ll do fine.

The most important thing is the instruments are ready and sounding good. Oh, and the stage doesn’t collapse.”

“Yeah, that’d be bad.”

“It’s happened before. Not to Conquest, but to other artists.

That’s why I have everyone double-check everything.”

Morgan turned a curious look on him. “I don’t understand why you’re not the staff manager and Kurt is. You do five times the work he does. Actually, I can’t even figure out what the hell he does other than yell at people.”

Remmy gave him a wry grin. “Guess my talent hasn’t been discovered yet.”

They reached the stage. Work and the other roadies helped to
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distract Morgan’s thoughts, though he knew his laugh was slower to come out than the others, his smile not as strong. Almost before he knew it, people entered the arena. The opening act, a local band, wouldn’t be taking the stage for another hour yet, but he knew Conquest was doing a meetand-greet for a few fans backstage.

Morgan wanted so badly to peek in on them, to see Julian interacting with fans. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him…or maybe it was. He couldn’t help it that his mind filled his heart with doubts. He turned to look for Remmy and saw him talking with another tech. He walked up to them as their conversation finished. “Hey, Remmy, do you care if I take fifteen? I just want to get a drink and take a minute to calm before the storm.”

“Yeah, man, that’s cool. Things are looking good for now.”

“Thanks.”

Morgan left the stage and walked toward the dressing rooms, finding each one empty. He maneuvered around other roadies, past crates of equipment, to the meetand-greet in the green room. The door was open, but two security guards stood outside.

As Morgan approached, he saw their eyes moving over him as if to verify he was staff. That should be clear in what he was wearing, the standard attire all the workers wore of a black T-shirt with
Conquest No Fear World Tour
written in white letters on the left breast and
Staff
in large white letters across the back. He also glanced down to make sure the lanyard with his employee badge showed.

One of the guards nodded to him.

Morgan nodded in return. “How’s it goin’?”

“Good,” the guard said. “How’s the setup?”

Morgan stepped close to the doorway. He casually glanced into the room, instantly spotting Julian smiling and posing for a picture with a tall, lean, and very attractive young guy who looked like he couldn’t be much more than twenty. “Pretty much done.

I’m taking a few before things get crazy. First concert jitters, you know?”

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“Yeah, I hear that.”

Morgan watched the guy take his camera back from a young woman, but instead of simply thanking Julian and walking away, the guy started a conversation with him. “So you guys are old hands at this, huh?”

“We worked Evan Arden’s last tour,” said the first guard, pointing at the other with his thumb. “But we’ve both been around the block with different bands, even a few actors.”

The second guard knocked the first on the arm with the back of his hand, mentioning a young starlet they worked for the previous year. As they started going into stories about her wild partying and the number of men she’d entertain in any given night, Morgan continued to gaze into the room. He laughed at the guards’ stories at what he hoped was the right points, and occasionally met their gazes to not make it appear he was spying on the band.

Even when other fans came up to Julian for autographs and pictures, the young man lingered close, and as soon as Julian had a free moment, the guy would start talking to him. From the way the guy looked at Julian, how he angled his body toward him, it was obvious he was flirting with him. Morgan saw Julian laugh with the guy, smile at him, but it seemed more politeness than anything else. Hope started to fill his heart against doubt.

Morgan looked at the other band members. Jesse talked to a group of fans with Evan at his side, Evan’s arm around Jesse’s waist. He knew Evan held Jesse because he loved him, but it was also a silent reminder to all that Jesse was taken. If anyone knew how the rock world worked, it was Evan Arden, and seeing his protectiveness with Jesse made Morgan dislike even more how he and Julian were going about things. So what if Julian wasn’t flirting with the young guy now. How many other men would flaunt themselves at him on this tour? Without being a strong presence in Julian’s life, how soon would Julian forget he was part of it at all?

Morgan glanced at the guitar player, Kenny, chatting with fans and standing with his arm around a young brunette woman;
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Krista, he assumed, from Julian telling him about her. His gaze moved next to the drummer, Brad, and he could barely see him since he was surrounded by a harem of women. Everyone who had a significant other was sharing this moment with them. He looked at Julian and caught the young guy laugh as he laid a hand on Julian’s arm.

Jealousy erupted inside him. His body did an involuntary forward twitch, wanting to burst into the room. He flicked a glance at each guard, still wrapped up in their stories, and decided he needed to leave before he did something he’d regret. He summoned his willpower to turn his back on the scene, excusing himself to the guards.

Morgan walked down the hall, laughter from the room chasing him. He felt like he’d just looked in on a life he wasn’t a part of, and maybe never would be.

He returned to the other techs in charge of the instruments, unable to match their excitement. Before he knew it the opening band took the stage, hyping up the crowd with their driving rock beats. He barely heard them, or the roaring audience. It wasn’t until the openers rushed past him in a flurry of excited voices and high fives that he came out of his daze. He and the other techs hastened on stage to set it for Conquest, finishing just before the band needed to go on.

Morgan peered down the hall toward Jesse’s dressing room, where he knew from Julian telling him the band always met right before taking the stage. Kenny walked out with Brad and Julian following. His heart clenched at the sight of Julian prepared for the stage, his pale blond hair styled so the jagged angles looked tousled. He wore a pair of dark brown leather pants with a fire red shirt that clung to his slender body. For the first time since he’d met him, he saw Julian as a rock star. A grin pulled at Morgan’s lips. And a hot one.

His moment of pleasure dissipated as the image of the young guy touching Julian invaded his mind. Instead of it rousing jealousy in him, sorrow came. He didn’t want to lose him. They’d only had a day together, but he wanted so many more. He sighed Keys to Love
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aloud. Things were so simple, so easy, when it was just the two of them. The challenges of Julian’s public life never entered his mind, and now he realized how naïve it was to not consider it.

Morgan watched Julian and the others lay their hands over one of Jesse’s. With Jesse shouting, “Let’s do it!” they snapped their hands down and broke. Jesse spun for the stage with the others following. Morgan stood where he’d be within touch range of Julian as he passed, needing even a fleeting moment of closeness with him.

Julian slowed his strides, falling further back from the others.

His eyes met Morgan’s, a soft smile on his lips. As he walked by, he pressed something into Morgan’s hand and spoke in a barely audible voice, “For after the show.”

Morgan glanced down. In his hand was a card to access the parking garage in Julian’s building and a key. He stared at them for a brief moment until joy burst through him. He looked at Julian.

Each band member stood on a platform that would spring them through trap doors in the floor. Julian winked at him. Morgan smiled, then saw Evan step in front of Jesse, giving him a kiss before handing him a mic.

Jesse took a few deep breaths. He closed his eyes and bounced in place a couple times, then raised the mic. He let his honeyed tenor flow out in a smooth breath, going from mid-range to high.

The crowd exploded at the sound of his voice, blasts erupted as pyrotechnics shot flames into the air, all timed to the lifts launching the band members up to the stage.

Morgan moved around the side of the stage to see them. The crowd roared so loudly the first notes of Conquest’s number one single, “Twisted Destiny,” were lost, but only for a moment until the band took over the arena with the rock song, and Jesse’s voice dominated all. Morgan saw Julian at the keyboards, amazed at how huge a smile he wore. Julian looked like he was having an absolute blast. His gaze was toward the crowd and on Jesse standing at the front of the stage, not needing to see the keys to hit the correct ones.

Morgan realized all his times of mourning Julian’s change
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from classical to rock were wrong. Being a rock star suited Julian.

It’s who he was. Morgan tightened his hand around the card and key and laughed to himself. He never would’ve thought he’d have a rock star for a boyfriend.

Julian glanced at the clock in the living room. Almost two in the morning. The show had ended at around eleven-thirty, then he went out to a club with the guys to celebrate their kickoff concert, but by one o’clock, Jesse was ready to call it an early night. He claimed he wanted to sleep a full night in his and Evan’s own bed one more time before they hit the road. Though, from the way Jesse and Evan had been bumping and grinding against each other on the dance floor, he really doubted sleep was all they intended.

Julian picked up the phone from the end table beside him.

He wanted to call Morgan again, but he’d already tried him twice, once after the concert to let him know where they were going, then again on his way home. Both times Morgan’s voicemail answered. He felt so anxious to see him, touch him, be held by him. While the evening had been a great time, Morgan never strayed far from his thoughts.