Kesh (16 page)

 

It's Christmas Eve. I had a kind of dream, maybe a vision this afternoon. I wasn't sleeping or anything, but it just came to me. I saw a pure white coyote, surrounded by flames. The coyote paced, looking for a way through. He searched, moving more and more frenetically back and forth. He stopped and looked directly at me, then raised his head and howled pitifully. The white coyote was gone, and a long gray wolf stood in its place. His eyes had the look of desperation, as if he was begging me for help. His howling carried fear and pain, and I couldn't do anything to save him. Then I woke up and rushed downstairs. I needed to talk to Jesse about the dream.

 

Frantic, Kesh was on his way out of the door, ready to run to Jesse's house, when his mother stopped him. He said, “But something is wrong mom! I just know it!”

She gestured into the living room. The walls were lit softly with green, red, yellow and blue lights, and the air smelled like pine. “Sit down, Kesh.” She sighed. “You know, years ago when I was a reporter, I knew what was happening. I knew what Garou Chemical was doing to the land, and, to be honest, I had pretty strong suspicions about what Louis Garou himself was doing to the people who disagreed with him. I've always thought I might have been able to do more, and I've wondered if I gave up too easily. I've asked myself a thousand times: did I let Garou off the hook? Could I have made more of a difference, even saved a few lives? I don't know, but there hasn't been a day, all these years, when I haven't wondered. Now I feel like I've been given another chance, and I don't want to blow it this time. There must be something I can do, some way I can help.”

Kesh shook his head. “I don't know how, mom.” Then he remembered Grandmother Spider's words and realized it had been a lesson. “Mom, Grandmother Spider told me that each animal has a gift. Have you had any strange experiences, anything that would help you understand your power.”

She laughed. “Turning into a snake is pretty strange all by itself, but I think I may have something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I'm not exactly sure of how it works, but sometimes when I'm dreaming that I'm a snake, I seem to leave my body. But it's just a dream,” She waved the idea away with her hand.

Kesh said, “Is it?”

“Well, it has to be. Doesn't it?”

Kesh said, “Can you remember what happens when you're flying?”

“Definitely! I kind of slide out through the roof and go exploring.”

“Where do you travel?”

She thought for a moment, then said, “Any place I want to go. I've visited my mother's house in New Jersey and my office at the paper.” She spoke carefully, putting stress on her next words. “It's a very real dream.”

Kesh said, “Mom, I don't think it's a dream.”

His mother's eyes crinkled up and her face had that look she got when she was worried about something she didn't want to talk about.

Kesh said, “Listen, mom. Do you think you can do it now?”

She shook her head. “I don't know. I'm not quite sure how I do it, and I don't really know how it works.”

“Mom, I think your snake spirit can travel through time and space; the snake can move across the spirit worlds. That means you might be able to move to other places in your snake spirit form. Maybe you can go to Jesse and see if he's all right.”

“Well, I still don't know, Kesh.”

“Mom!” He spoke with a quiet intensity that made his mother jump. “I think Jesse could be in big trouble. You have to go to see if he's all right. You have to promise you'll try.”

“I'm really not sure about this, Kesh. Sometimes in my dreams I seem to fly, to go places, but I don't know how I do it. What if it doesn't work?”

“Don't worry, Mom. It's okay. If it doesn't work, I'll figure something out. But you have to try. Just try. Please, just try.”

Kesh sat back on the couch as his mother stepped into the center of the living room. She closed her eyes and, suddenly, like a collapsing coil of rope, her body simply folded and, there on the carpet was the python he had seen when this all began. He caught his breath for just a moment.

She was gigantic and more than a little terrifying, but now he could see that the snake's eyes were his mother's warm, golden eyes, and even weirder, the snake seemed to smile. It was definitely his mother's smile. Again, the snake closed its eyes and settled softly onto its coil. A languid swirl of smoke began curling upward from the great coil of python, until it reached the ceiling. Then, very slowly, it seemed to pile up there filling the space around the living room light and then. It disappeared like a puddle being absorbed into a sponge.

He muttered a low, admiring, “Cool! You did it, Mom. I knew you could.”

Suddenly, an ethereal serpent's head popped back through the ceiling and in a distant whisper, a snake's version of his mother's voice said, “I'll be back soon, Kesh. I love you.”

The house was too warm, and it was late, and Kesh started to drop off. He was in that half way place between waking and sleeping when he saw a tiny greenish glow tucked inside the colored lights and forest green needles of the Christmas tree. He got up and moved close to study the phenomenon. A small spindly spider had spun her web among the decorations in the pine.

“Grandmother Spider?”

The creature stopped, and its tiny head turned to look at Kesh with what he could only think of as intelligent eyes. Then the creature spoke. “This is your time, Kesh.” The wind voice, so soft, yet so powerful, startled Kesh. It was a voice he had not expected to hear again.

“It is my time to do what, Anna?”

“It is the time to learn, boy, time to become who you are, the true coyote. Now it is time that the pupil becomes the teacher.”

It was as if the wind had spoken from inside, as if he himself were the source, as if a fountain had opened up, and from it poured swirling columns of meaning. The winds were gentle as they spoke of the beaver and the dove; the winds blew steady and sure as they spoke of the deer and the cheetah and the albatross. The winds blew hard, sharp and powerful as they spoke of the bear, the scorpion and the tiger. The winds filled Kesh until he could barely bear the beauty and the pain of them. Then they whipped into a furious tempest again.

Just as suddenly, the winds fell quiet. Kesh was afraid. He felt like his insides would come out, and he had lost all control of his body and mind, and he just wanted it to stop.

His body was beginning to change. He could no longer feel his arms and legs, and his bones and flesh shifted and morphed until he was water, then stone, then something without shape. At once, the room was gone, and he seemed to be transported to a dark place where he became a small delicate creature, first waiting in the middle of a soft web, and then riding the wind on a silken thread.

Suddenly, it was as if he was running across the African Veldt on the powerful legs of a gazelle fleeing the annual fires of the savanna. Then the scenario changed and he was one small creature skimming on delicate wings across an ocean of broad, grassy plains, one of millions of locusts blackening the skies and stripping the life from the land below. Then the scene shifted again and he was a salamander lying cool beneath a rotting north woods log. He was a swift rainbow trout running in deep, cold lake waters; then a red-tailed hawk soaring far above the desert, and a wolf stalking its prey on the Russian Steppes. His body shifted from form to form in rapid succession. Now he was a cat – now a stinging wasp – now a deadly black mamba. It was as if he could be all creatures simultaneously, and all of their tales existed inside of him.

After a time the winds subsided, and Anna spoke softly, again. “You are the coyote, Kesh. You are the teacher. There is no time to lose now. You must have faith.” Then the tiny gray wind spider disappeared into the thick pine needles, and Kesh, dozed off.

“Kesh. Kesh?” His mother's insistent prodding roused him. “My poor, tired boy.”

He smiled meekly. “Never mind that, mom. Did you find out anything?”

She sighed. “Yes. Well, maybe I found something. I don't know if this is real or just some kind of vision. I went to the Madosh house.”

Impatient and confused, Kesh stared at his mother. “And?”

She said, “I don't really know. It's all gone.” She breathed hard. “I'm not sure, but I think the house was destroyed by fire. Kesh, I think it may have been burned to the ground.”

He felt panic rising in his chest. “And Jesse, where is Jesse? Where is Mr. Madosh?”

“I don't know, Kesh. I saw only the burned house, and even that not very clearly. It's kind of like trying to see the bottom of a lake through several feet of water. It's clear enough but everything is distorted.”

Kesh's first instinct was to run out in search of his friend, but then Grandmother Spider's words came back to him. “You are the teacher, the true coyote you, and must have faith.” He knew what he had to do. His first stop was Taylor's house.

Before Kesh could knock, the door swung open, and Taylor smiled slyly. “I've been expecting you.”

When he told her about the spider's message, she tightened her jaw and flexed her arm, then said, “I'm ready.”

“I knew I could depend on you. You're going to be sorely needed this night.” Next, he visited Evan, Carl, and Stephanie. He was careful to first visit the kids who were rumored to be Garou's first group of interns. He went to each and, one by one, whispered the song of the wind in their ears.

Although the human boy's body was exhausted, the coyote ran and ran without tiring, planting seeds of awareness in even the most stubborn soil. It didn't matter where it was. The coyote spirit found willing hearts in mansions, farmhouses, and the tarpaper shacks of Shantytown. A few remained skeptical, and many were confused, but Kesh knew time would take care of that.

Taylor and the other badgers were a tough lot, almost all fully aware of their spirits, and ready to rumble. Others were surprising. When Kesh came to Becky Kuhn, he was a little bit afraid to see her as a trout flopping around, gasping for breath again, but this time it was different. They were immediately transported to the river where Becky, no longer a fish out of water, leaped joyfully, a rainbow in the afternoon light, her glistening back reflecting the universe of the sky. That's how it was with a lot of the kids. The ones who were ready, who had already experienced their inner selves in some way, seemed to discover their animal spirits and sought the proper elements the moment Kesh revealed himself to them.

As the coyote flew from place to place, the boy grew increasingly weary. It was late, but he had a lot yet to do. And, he was worried about Jesse and his dad. Had they been caught in the fire? Kesh, the coyote stood on the edge of town now, wanting most of all to find Jesse, but not yet finished with this task. He knew that Garou would be beaten only if he did his job, and his work wasn't over yet.

He also had a strong feeling that if he did not do this, Jesse and his father would be in even more danger. He sniffed the air toward the factory, but it smelled of the same poison brew, mixed with the wood smoke from local homes. He raised his head and howled, calling to Jesse. For a moment, only a frightened dog yelped in the distance. Then an answer came from far off, but it wasn't from south of town, where Jesse should have been. Kesh turned toward town and howled again. The response was closer now. Kesh called the third time, and a slender tan coyote appeared beneath the street lamps of the avenue.

“Kiran! You're okay!”

“Yes, I'm okay. At least I'm alive, and I'm beginning to feel stronger.”

“Why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting?”

“No, Kesh, I need to be here. You see, I couldn't keep my eyes open this afternoon and I fell asleep and had a strange dream. I've been dreaming a lot since Garou got to me. Dark, confusing, horrible dreams. It got to the point I didn't want to go to sleep. But this dream was different. I was with you and other animals, and everything felt warm and soft and filled with love, and I was surrounded by a comforting, green light. I can't really explain just how amazing it felt. When I woke up the spider web you brought to me had been woven again. It was the beautiful glowing green I had felt all around me in the dream. A tiny spider sat in the middle of the web, and she spoke to me somehow. I couldn't hear anything, but her voice seemed to come from inside of me. Then, all of a sudden, I felt like the fog lifted and I remembered who I am. The spider told me a lot, and I was with your spirit Kesh.” She nuzzled his face softly. “Now it's my turn. You can't do this alone. You have a lot of other work to do, so much work.”

He should not have doubted Kiran for a moment. They were coyotes and friends, She could finish the work. Yet, Kesh couldn't shake the nagging feeling at the back of his neck. Kiran seemed fine, but something wasn't quite right. He thought
I'm sure it's nothing.
But he said, “Jeez, I'm glad you're back Kiran.”

“Thanks, Kesh. Now go find Jesse. And…” if a coyote could blush, she would have been redder than a July strawberry. “When you find him, please tell him I'm okay. Now hurry.” As he was turning away, she added, “I guess you do howl at the moon.” Kesh looked back and, remembering the mysterious note that had appeared in his library book, he barked his delight, then ran through the snow. He could not dwell on his happiness, because he knew he was running toward certain danger.

Kesh pushed his misgivings aside and felt a rush of new energy as he sprinted toward Jesse's ruined home. It was dark and bitterly cold, this Christmas Eve. Kesh was frightened for his friend, but he caught something else on the air. He sniffed frantically trying to figure out what it might be, but it was too distant and indistinct. Suddenly, the winds smelled of hope, the sense that something important was happening. Even the poor houses of shantytown seemed to agree, for tonight they were lit up with the sparkling lights and tinsel of Christmas.