KEPT: A Second Chance Fairy Tale (39 page)

He’s pushing. Corbin knows me better than anyone else. He was there when I lost everything. He also knows, deep down, I’d never hurt a woman as long as I could help it. He’s angry because he had to break the news to Lucy when, by all rights, I should’ve been the one to do it.

Rather than bloody his lip, I calmly tell my best friend, “This isn’t your concern.”

His arms extend in front of him. “You hurt her,” he snaps, leaning in closer, even though he’s still a good ten feet away. “Fuck, Michael. She had no idea and you…” He points to me with added ire. “
This killed her
.”

“I was going to tell her, Corbin,” I lamely admit.

Walking closer, getting in my face, Corbin spits back, “When?
After
she fell in love with you? Did you think she’d forgive everything you’ve done then?”

“She’s not in love with me,” I quickly deny. It’s not true, but the possibility washes over me, leaving only a calming peace in its wake, which quickly vanishes. “She can’t…” I stop, shake my head quickly. “I…”

“God, you’re a fucking idiot,” he snaps. “She’s a good girl.”

My throat tightens as I nod once. “I know.”

He takes a breath, then sighs. “She
was
in love with you. She told me this at the same time I was tearing her safe little world apart with the truth you made Lillie and me keep from her.”

“I’ll talk to her,” I hear myself say quietly.

“You can’t fix this. The way you’ve lived your life has cost you the only happiness I think you’ll ever have a chance to find.”

Lucy

B
ETRAYAL.

The consequence it engraves takes but a few moments to burrow itself so deep under your skin and into your heart, you feel nothing more than its unrelenting and lasting effect. As time and life push you forward, the pain doesn’t yield. Instead, it becomes a worsening ache, leaving you without any power to control it.

God, this hurts.

When Corbin finally admitted to me who the woman talking to Michael was, I felt the ground shift as though it had opened up and I was left free-falling into an empty field of loneliness and doubt.

I’d been there before. Almost five years ago. In many ways, this is so much worse. The pain I’m engulfed in this time isn’t just about loss. It’s about both loss
and
betrayal. To know I’ll never be able to talk to Gabe, to hear his reasons why he did what he did, leaves me gutted. The only person who could truly answer so many questions I have spinning through my mind is a woman I’ve quickly learned to despise and who, at one time, I thought was dead.

The woman who had an affair with my husband has come back from the dead to taunt me. She already had Gabe, but now, with Michael’s deception in more ways than one, she’s taken him from me, too.

If this weren’t happening to me, I may find it funny.

After hearing all Corbin had to say, a panic flared from deep inside. My world crumbled around me, bringing down all my memories of Gabe. How he used to say my name, soft and gentle. The sound of his laughter, rich with sincerity. Watching him hold and talk to Dillon as though our son understood every word. The feel of his touch, although never lighting with fire and bursting with flames, was always a reminder that I was loved.

“I’m so sorry, Lucy,” Shannan expresses again as she stands in my kitchen and watches me sit at the table, looking down and twisting my hands in my lap. “You really never knew
anything
about it?”

Shaking my head, I answer, “No. I really didn’t.”

“You weren’t happy with Gabe. You told me as much. But this…” She looks down and walks to the table. “I can’t imagine what you’re thinking.”

I do. I’m thinking about how much I wish Gabe were still here. I’d like him to tell me the reason he felt he couldn’t talk to me before cheating. I thought we’d worked things out, at least enough to be honest with each other. However, I was wrong about that, as well as so many other things.

“Lucy?” Shannan says. “I’m not so sure I understand.”

The file she’s thumbing through dissects the truth Corbin led me to. Michael knew who I was before we met.

Before he let me fall in love with him.

When I called my landlord yesterday and told him I had a suspicion he’d been involved with Michael Holden and I wanted to know how, he stuttered through his words. He was surprised at my call and apprehensive to discuss anything. I advised him that I now worked at a law firm in town, namely Mercer Law. It was then he immediately folded. He asked that I meet him first thing this morning, so I did.

The ride home was agonizingly long as the road ahead of me was blurred. Michael Holden had burrowed himself into my life without my knowledge. He’d been ensuring my bills were paid, which my landlord allowed, gaining a healthy profit of his own.

In many ways, I mourned.

I mourned as a single mother. All this time, I thought I was taking care of Dillon. I worked hard, wisely spending whatever money we had, even when I wanted so much more for him. Our small apartment is our home, and proudly so. Finding out Michael had been keeping tabs, checking up on me, and never mentioning any of this the entire time I’ve known him all but killed me.

Maybe my overstated self-pity might seem over-the-top, but I feel how I feel.

Looking up, I turn my focus to her. “Look harder, Shannan. My rent is double what it was the day I moved in here, but I still pay the same. Michael’s been paying the difference.”

She studies the file longer, holding it closer to her face so I can’t make out her expression. “Is this legal?” she questions, finally setting it down in front of her and looking at me.

“I don’t know. Whether it’s legal or not isn’t the issue.”

Shannan sighs and pushes the file away. “Don’t get pissed at me.”

I roll my watery eyes, then use my tissue to quickly swipe the tear. “Go on.”

“So, let me get this straight. You never knew Michael before we went to Tryst, and he only knew
of
you,” she starts.

“Yep,” I exhale.

“Michael’s wife, who you now know is alive, had been having an affair with your husband.”

“Yep.”

“So, because he felt obligated in some unconventional way, he’s been helping you financially for…” She opens the files and looks at the date Dillon and I moved in here, “the past four-and-a-half years?”

“Yep.”

Sitting up in her chair, Shannan swallows hard and doesn’t say anything until she’s sure she has my attention. “You and me… We’re different,” she explains. “I mean, you’re telling me you’re sad about a man whose reasons for doing what he did were his own, but because of the man he is, he did this so you’d live well after the loss of your husband.”

“Are you serious?” I ask, pointing to the file. “You’d be so willing to let this go?”

“No,” she answers quickly. “I’m not saying that, Lucy Loo.”

“Then what
are
you saying?”

Shannan stands from her chair at the end of the table and walks to the one next to me. She sits, grabs my hand, and squeezes.

“I’m saying don’t be sad. Don’t be sad over Gabe having an affair. Hell, don’t even be sad for him dying. You can’t change either of those things, and by using up your energy on that, you’re missing…” She slides the file in front of me. “This is what you’re missing. Get angry. Be pissed. Yell. Scream. Whatever. But when the dust settles and you have time to really think, you’ll see what I do.”

That I fell in love with a man who jeopardized anything we could’ve had without me ever knowing?

Sniffing quietly and trying to focus on what she’s telling me, I ask, “And what’s that?”

“I’m surprised you have to ask,” she remarks, sitting back in her chair. When I don’t respond, she tells me, “You’re living your happily ever after.”

Rolling my eyes again and letting out a puff of air, I feel my cheeks swell.

“I’m serious, Lucy.”

“Right,” I clip. “Because in all the fairy tales I’ve seen, at least half of them include the ex-wife coming back from the dead.”

She laughs. I don’t.

“Maybe not, but even if she did, the hero always wins,” she tells me.

I shrug. “Sometimes, the hero’s an idiot bastard who has no business doing what he’s done.”

Shannan’s eyes narrow. She’s giving up. “These are just my thoughts, Lucy. You called me over here to get them. I’m being honest. You’re sad. I get it. You feel like you didn’t do enough for you and Dillon, but you did. You’re here, and you’re a great mom to a happy, healthy little boy. You’d have found a way to make your life what you wanted after Gabe, whether Michael Holden interfered or not. Don’t forget that.”

“I haven’t,” I return. “It’s just…”

“Just?” she questions once I stop my thought.

“I loved him and he lied to me. About so much.”

“Did he?” she asks as her eyebrows lift in wonder. “I mean, yes, he did, but he lost a lot, too.”

I think about this. To be fair, Michael lost everything. He found out the truth on his own, and it must have broken him, but his reaction was to what? Atone? Grieve?

“He called your cell phone again while you were at Stella’s earlier,” she informs.

“You answered my phone?”

She bites her lip to keep from smiling. “If it helps, he sounds shattered. His voice was shaking as he tried to get me to put you on the phone.”

“He hasn’t tried to get a hold of me since the night I found out,” I whisper half-heartedly.

Michael called and I didn’t answer. I was drowning in a sea of frustration and knew better than to hear his voice. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel once hearing it, and I wanted the chance to get my thoughts in order before letting him explain.

Has he tried to forget what we had already?

“What Michael did was wrong but, sooner or later, you’ll have to deal with this. He’s your boss.” She nearly snickers the last point out and I scowl.

“I told Amber to tell Corbin I wasn’t coming in today. I wanted time to think. I may call the diner and see if I can get my old job back.”

Shannan doesn’t come back right away. Instead, she thinks a few seconds before saying, “Going backward isn’t an option for you anymore. You’ve grown. Loving a man like Michael has changed you.”

She obviously sees the confusion on my face, but I ask, “Loving a man like Michael?”

She casually shrugs. “He’s older than you–”

“By some, not a lot,” I clip in defense.

She doesn’t waver. “He’s more experienced–”

“Because he’s gotten around since his wife had supposedly died,” I snap again.

And again, she doesn’t relent. “He’s also very reserved. Yet from all you’ve told me about the two of you when you were together, he talked to you. He let you in.”

“Right.” Part of what she says is true. However, Michael hasn’t let me in completely or I’d have known all there was to know from the beginning.

“Be mad, friend. Be pissed. But don’t dwell on the life you had or didn’t have with Gabe. Sitting here trying to reason with a dead man will drive you crazy.”

Nodding, I somewhat agree. “I’m so mad at Gabe, Shannan,” I stress, my voice cracking as I do. “I’m pissed he’s not here so I can be angry
at
him, not the memory
of
him.”

“No, Lucy. Gabe’s not here,” she answers slowly. “But Michael is.”

Then she smiles.

Michael

S
HE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK
to you.

You should’ve been the one to tell her.

Give her time.

Give her space.

Wait for her…

Until this morning, I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet Lucy’s best friend. The timing in meeting Shannan, although it was over the phone when I thought it was Lucy who answered, couldn’t have been more inopportune.

After I tried to leave a message for Lucy and the conversation took an odd turn, I was relieved I didn’t have to explain what happened. Once she started doling out her advice, it was clear Lucy already explained everything.

She doesn’t want to talk to you.

I haven’t seen or talked to Lucy at all since leaving the auditorium Saturday night. Marcus was silent as he drove me to my empty house. I wanted to go to her, force her to hear my reasons for doing all I’ve done, but knowing her the way I do, anything I had to say would fall on deaf ears. When she does give me time to explain, I need her to be completely ready to listen.