Kentucky Rain (4 page)

“You look good,” Kate said.

“And so do you,” Sarah came back. “No wonder Scott couldn’t wait to take you out.”

Kate rolled her eyes. Had that news gotten out already? Oh, yeah, this was Eagleton and a close-knit community. In Louisville, only a small circle of acquaintances would care what she did.

“Scott’s my landlord,” she said, hoping that explained enough.

Sarah leaned forward. “So, what did your bastard do? I caught mine fooling around with another woman.” A flicker of righteous anger showed in her eyes.

Kate shrugged. “I’m afraid mine wasn’t as dramatic as that.” She really never had figured out the reason for the divorce. Suffice to say, Jerry didn’t love her anymore. “I guess it was more of a ten-year itch. Nothing I did could please him anymore.”

“Bastard!” Sarah dropped her favorite word again.

“You look as if you’re okay with your divorce.”

“Best thing that happened to me. I got on with being who I wanted to be, doing what
I
wanted to do.”

“That’s wonderful.” What else could Kate say? She gazed at her friend, wishing she had as much certainty.

“What are you going to do, Kate, now that you’re free?”

I don’t want to be free.
Kate swallowed the impulse to burst into tears. Not now. Time enough for that in the privacy of her bedroom.

She took a deep breath. “I’m going back to college in the fall. I’m getting the prerequisites for nursing school. I figure there’s always a need for good nurses.”

“That’s great.” Sarah gave a self-satisfied nod. “Good for you. I’m teaching riding lessons.”

“That pays you enough to live on?”

“That and a free room in a great little apartment above the stables. I also help out with the show horses. Robert Bass, who trains horses at the farm, has been very good to me.” Sarah sat back. “It’s a good life. There’s something basic and magical about working with horses. They don’t lie, and they don’t cheat!”

Kate smiled thoughtfully. “I bet not.”

“I’ve always said: a good horse is all a woman needs anyway.”

She sipped her coffee, unsure of what to say to Sarah’s assertion. “Did you have children?” she finally asked.

“Just my riding students. And I’m damn glad I didn’t have kids with
that
bastard.”

“I’m sure,” Kate acknowledged. Divorce would be easier without a child, but she couldn’t imagine life without Reagan. Hell, her daughter
was
her life.
Not
a horse.

“What about you?”

“I have one daughter, Reagan. I hope to settle her into her new life before school starts in August. It’s hard. She doesn’t know anyone here but my dad.”

“Camp,” Sarah stated matter-of-factly. “She can meet girls her age at my riding camp. It starts tomorrow at ten.”

“But Reagan doesn’t know anything about horses or horseback riding.”

“That’s my job,” Sarah said as if it was all decided. “I will teach her.”

* * * *

Nerves twitched in her stomach as Kate pulled into the parking lot of the McDonald’s in Shelbyville. Right off I-64, the fast-food restaurant was a convenient spot to “exchange” Reagan. Jerry thought its familiarity would comfort her. What little girl didn’t like McDonald’s? Kate thought it demeaning and sad. She never took Reagan to eat fast food. That was Jerry’s thing, he was a fast-food junky.

Another strike against him
, Kate reflected, releasing her grip on the steering wheel and shifting her Honda into park. She sat back and let out a heavy breath. Jerry and Reagan had not arrived. She’d looked for his BMW when entering the parking lot.

Her jaw quivered, and she fought back those ever-present tears. She didn’t want to be here. She hated these circumstances. Why had her life gone so terribly wrong? Maybe Jerry was a bastard, like Sarah said. Maybe all ex’s were bastards. If she started thinking of him like that, maybe it would be easier for her.

But Kate had not yet gotten over loving Jerry. Her heart was too raw and forgiving. It shouldn’t be this way, given what he’d done to her—and Reagan—by breaking up their home. But if she was honest with herself, Kate had to admit she wished things could be different. Back to normal. Sane. Secure.

Jerry’s sleek, black car pulled in beside her practical Honda CRV. Kate took another deep breath and opened her door, careful not to knock it against the side of Jerry’s car. Reagan was sitting in the backseat on her booster. There was a pout on her pretty face. All was not well, it seemed.

Kate opened the back door. “Hi, honey! I’m so glad to see you. Did you have a good time at Daddy’s?”

“Mommy!” The little girl’s face brightened.

Reagan released the seatbelt and reached for her mother. Kate scooped her out of the car and gave her a big bear hug. Her daughter smelled like baby shampoo and felt all warm and snuggly. Kate hadn’t realized how much she’d missed Reagan.

“We had a good time, didn’t we, Reagan?” Jerry asked, coming around the back of the car. He was animated and positive. Mr. Perfection.

Reagan glanced up at her father. In a weak voice, she said, “We went to the club and went swimming. I got to play with Carmichael.”

Carmichael was Reagan’s best friend. Kate knew her daughter missed the other little girl. “I’m so glad you got to see Carmichael. Maybe, you can see her next weekend, too.”

Jerry cleared his throat. “I need to talk to you about that, Kate.”

For the first time in a month, because it had been dark and rainy on Friday night when she’d dropped off Reagan, Kate closely examined her ex-husband. His thinning blond hair seemed less gray. The paunch in his belly was reduced. Had he lost weight? Been working out? He wore pressed tan khakis with a dark pink Polo shirt and smelled too strongly of male cologne. There was sternness in his eyes that she knew to be for her. He was always critical of her for some reason. She’d tried so hard to meet his approval but, most of the time, had failed miserably to make him happy.

Reagan was gathering her belongings from the backseat and transferring them to her mother’s SUV. Kate stepped to the rear of the vehicles, joining Jerry and hoping Reagan wouldn’t pay attention to their discussion.

“Yes?” She stood her ground, looking at Jerry and gripping the car keys in her right hand.

“I’m going out of town next weekend and need you to watch Reagan for me,” he said. “If you are unavailable, I can hire a sitter.”

“What?” Kate couldn’t believe Jerry’s announcement, the superior tone to his voice. This was Reagan he was discussing as if she was a piece of merchandise to be bargained over.

“I’m going out of town next weekend,” he repeated patiently as if she hadn’t heard him. “I can’t take Reagan.”

“I get that, Jerry. I suppose there’s no use asking where you’re going and why.”

“It’s no longer your concern,” he reminded, dismissing her. “You have my cell phone number if something goes wrong.”

“How convenient,” she snapped. “You’re just a cell phone call away.”

Jerry frowned. “Now, Kate, don’t use that tone with me.” He scolded her like a child.

“I’ll use whatever tone I damn well please.”

“You sound upset.” He favored her with a calm, condescending smile. “Can you take Reagan, or do you want me to make other arrangements?”

“Of course I’ll ‘take’ Reagan. I’m her mother, for God’s sake.”

“Good. It’s all settled.”

He turned away to kiss Reagan goodbye. Then he circled in front of the parked car so he would not need to pass Kate. Before climbing into the driver’s seat, Jerry looked over the roof of the car and gave another command.

“I’ll get her the next weekend. I’ll call you to make arrangements.”

That was that. Did Reagan feel as stunned as Kate? Her daughter wore an unhappy frown as she watched her father back out of his parking space. He waved and pulled out to circle the drive-thru as if he couldn’t get away fast enough.

“How about a Coke and a kid’s meal?” Kate asked, hoping to ease the tension that hung in the air between them.

“You don’t like McDonald’s.”

“But you do, and I thought you’d like something to eat before going home.”

Home
. That duplex apartment in Eagleton was not home, and Reagan knew it as much as Kate did. But the little girl put on her game face.

“Sure, Mommy,” she said, and they walked together into the restaurant to order a not-so-nutritious dinner.

* * * *

On the ride home, Kate told Reagan about horse camp, and her daughter acted excited. Reagan had always loved animals. Jerry had never allowed her to have a pet, and riding lessons would have been out of the question.

That she was permitting Reagan to do something forbidden sent a shimmer through Kate’s heart. What was the emotion? Defiance? Pleasure? Whatever it was, Kate felt good about her decision to let Reagan go to horse camp. It was almost as if she was breaking the old patterns. Taking her life and Reagan’s into her own hands for once.

Kate veered off I-64, heading south to Eagleton. The sun shined brightly although it was eight o’clock in the evening. The weekend had been eventful with her first “date” in ten years, but Kate was glad Reagan was going to be home next weekend in case Scott asked her to dinner again. She didn’t want to make it a habit.

Without warning from the backseat, Reagan said, “Daddy has a girlfriend.”

A chill coursed down Kate’s spine. She lifted her gaze to the mirror and shot her daughter a look of surprise.

“He does?” she asked, hoping her voice sounded dispassionate. She didn’t want to act as if she cared.

“That’s why I’m not going to his house next weekend,” Reagan continued.

“Oh?”

“He’s getting married.”

Shock jolted through Kate. “We just got divorced!” She clamped her lips shut, wishing she hadn’t burst out with the first thing that came to mind. But it was true. How could Jerry have found someone so fast? Unless?

She gripped the steering wheel and concentrated on the road.
That sonofabitch!

“It’s okay, Mommy.” From the rear, Reagan’s voice was pacifying. “Daddy says he’s going to be happy when he marries, and you’ll be happy, too, without him. He says you don’t love him anymore, and he doesn’t love you. But he still loves me, and when he gets back, we’ll go to Disney World together. All of us.”

“That sounds lovely.” Kate responded, thankful Reagan couldn’t see her face.

Had Jerry introduced this new woman to Reagan? Without telling Kate? What was this woman like? Was she younger? Where had Jerry met her? And most importantly, how long had they been dating? Hell, not just dating. How long had they been sleeping together?

Fury ripped through every cell of her body.
That sonofabitch!

Questions flashed through Kate’s mind, filling her head with a mass of anger. That bastard had another woman! He’d been seeing this woman behind her back while they were still married. When he had refused to go to marriage counseling…

Deep in her gut she knew the truth.
Damn him! Damn him to hell!

When they arrived home, Kate parked alongside Scott’s Acura. Her emotions were fried. It was all she could do to help Reagan carry her stuff into the house and get ready for bed. Then uncharacteristically, she allowed Reagan an hour of watching TV. She couldn’t do a good job of putting her daughter to bed, not yet, not when her mind was such a mess and her heart now truly broken.

Kate left Reagan in the living room, in front of the flat screen, and walked outside to the front porch. The air was humid, and the twilight filled with sounds of night creatures, sounds she didn’t hear in the big city. Sitting on the white wicker chair, she propped her bare feet up on the table. Jerry wouldn’t think such posture ladylike, but as she was already beginning to discover, she didn’t much care about Mr. Lawrence’s likes or dislikes any longer.

That bastard.

Sarah had been right. Ex’s were bastards.

Jerry had had another woman on the side. Another woman had ruined their marriage. It wasn’t just that he didn’t love her. Jerry had been having an affair with another woman all along.

Anger rolled through Kate. Anger and shame. How could she have been so naïve? She hadn’t known about the other woman. Hadn’t even guessed. She’d taken Jerry at his word. She’d loved and trusted him. Damn him! And damn her for not seeing the real man.

She shouldn’t cry with Reagan in the house, but she did. Slow, hot tears of humiliation and heartbreak. How could she have been so stupid? So blind?

It was unjust. She didn’t deserve this. Reagan didn’t either. That bull crap about loving Reagan and taking her to Disney World was just that—bull crap. How long would it be before Reagan wondered if her daddy could stop loving her, too?

As the last of the day turned into dusk, Kate sat on the front porch, biting her lip, wiping away her tears. A slight breeze sliced the humidity, striking her face. A car drove down Elm Street.

The stark reality of her situation hit her. Jerry had left her for another woman. But if Kate had been the right kind of woman, she could have kept her husband. There must be something basically flawed about her personality that made her husband seek out someone else. She wasn’t good enough. She never had been. Not for Jerry anyway.

And certainly not good enough to satisfy herself.

Chapter Five

“Reagan, get up.” Kate shook her daughter’s shoulder. “You’ve got to get ready for horse camp.”

“I don’t want to go.” Reagan snuggled deeper into her covers.

“But you wanted to go yesterday.”

“I don’t know anybody,” Reagan whined.

Kate sat down on the bed. She knew her daughter was simply scared. “But that’s how you will meet other children and make new friends. Besides, you always wanted to take riding lessons.”

“I have plenty of friends in Louisville.”

“You live here now, Reagan.”

“I wanna go home.”

Kate set her jaw. Reagan couldn’t go home. Not now, not when her father was busy making wedding plans and couldn’t be bothered to take her for his visitation.