Kentucky Groom (6 page)

Turning his back on the quiet pasture scene, he leaned against the fence and stared at the barn. He was where he wanted to be. He never wanted to go back to California—back to the rat race of Preston Computers—back to pleasing Carter. As he considered the consequences of his erratic thoughts, his breathing grew labored. He didn’t have to go back to Carter’s company. He just had to get his money out of the bank. Then he could help Carrie.

Selling her husband’s business meant Carrie would be able to maintain her daughter’s lifestyle. All Carrie wanted to do was make her daughter happy. All Jay wanted to do was see Carrie happy.

What he wanted more than anything was to lift the burden from Carrie’s shoulders. He wanted to protect her—love her. That was the crux of the problem. He wanted to love her, but he didn’t know how except to buy the business.

He took a quick breath. If he bought the retail business, he must do it anonymously. Carrie would find out he’d been lying to her. He didn’t want her to know he was Carter Preston’s son and a millionaire in his own right. If he came charging in like a knight on a white horse, she’d have to thank him, and he didn’t want her gratitude. All he wanted from her was her love—for himself, not his money, faults and all.

Chapter Five

A small Kentucky county horse show

“Bump him back!” Mary called as Jesse and Dr. Doolittle passed by her as she stood on the rail. “Good girl. Now urge him on!”

Carrie gripped the wooden railing. Hot June sun pelted her, causing sweat to bead on her brow. Or was it just the nerves she felt watching Jesse and four other little girls compete on five-gaited ponies? Horse shows were bad for her health. She was convinced of it.

Horse shows and Jay Preston.

Carrie glanced across the show ring where he was positioned on the rail calling out instructions to Jesse when she passed him by. From his days in competition, he knew a lot about showing horses. Even at this distance, Carrie saw the flame of his hair and the confidence of his stance.

Her heartbeats matched the four-beat cadence of the horses’ racking gaits. She lifted her hand to shade her eyes from the sun. What was it about this man? He drew her into his spell. Shamelessly, she couldn’t get enough of him. Once again, she’d hung around the stable all week.

She had allowed him to kiss her. It had been sweet and satisfying, leaving her longing for more. At the same time, she had felt a surge of guilt. Was she leading him on? Was she lying to him? To herself?

When she had tried to ease his embarrassment over his lack of cash, she had been sincere. What did it matter that he couldn’t pay for dinner? It had been a simple mistake. She had revealed her money problems to let him know she wasn’t really rich like most of these parents. She didn’t want him to feel bad, that’s all. But her candor may have backfired. He was falling in love with her. It was flattering.

Yet did she want the burden of his love?

Carrie lowered her hand back to the railing and squinted against the sunshine. The awful truth was that she couldn’t afford to let her heart rule her head. She had Jesse to consider. If she truly cared for Jay, she couldn’t lead him on because the hard truth was she couldn’t let herself fall in love with a penniless groom.

“She’s got this class won,” Mary said in a loud voice.

Carrie glanced at her. “You think so?”

“Yes. Here’s the line-up.”

Five riders stopped their horses in a line facing the audience. Parked out right in front of them, Doolittle snorted and bobbed his head. Jesse settled into the saddle, stretched down her heels and smiled at them. Carrie’s heart burst with a mother’s pride. The judge started down the line inspecting each horse and rider, much as Mary had inspected Jesse in her lesson.

“She looked great!” Jay came up beside Carrie.

“I know.” She stared up at him.

He grinned, and shyly she glanced away as his hand covered hers on the rail.

When the class had been judged, horses and riders retired to the end of the arena to wait. Carrie hated waiting. Nerves made her feel sick. Her mouth was as dry as the hard Kentucky clay.

“Hurry up,” she murmured as if the judge could hear her.

Jay squeezed her hand. She looked up at him once more, and her heart rolled over in her chest. He was so dear. So caring. She couldn’t let this charade continue. She had to tell him that money mattered. Not to her, but for her daughter.

“And the winner is number two hundred and twenty-six,” the loudspeaker said, “Dr. Doolittle owned by Carrie Mercer of Louisville and ridden by Jessica Mercer.”

“Oh!” Carrie’s hand flew to her mouth.

“Yippee!” Jay vaulted the fence as the announcer finished speaking.

Mary clambered over the rail right behind him. Together they greeted the winning horse and rider in the middle of the open-air arena. Carrie watched as Mary clipped the blue ribbon on Doolittle’s brow band, and Jay wiped lather from the pony’s neck. Then they both stepped back while the victory picture was snapped. Jesse just beamed. Carrie beamed for her.

She met Jesse at the gate after the victory pass. “Congratulations.” The happiness bubbling within her made it hard to stop smiling at her child.

“Thanks!” The little girl was breathing hard. “Isn’t it wonderful? That’s my very first blue ribbon.”

Mary and Jay joined them. “You deserved the win,” Mary said. “Look at your nice trophy.”

She held up a silver plate as the small procession headed down the hill toward the stabling area.

“You really rode well,” Jay added his compliment as he trailed behind them.

Carrie turned her head to see him catching Doolittle’s long tail and tying it up in a knot to keep it from picking up bits of dirt. He winked at her. Self-conscious, Carrie offered a small grin and lowered her gaze to the gravel road. Jay had a way of making her feel like such a novice. Over the last few weeks, she’d grown accustomed to the way her heart fluttered when he was around, the way her stomach knotted because of his mere glance. She sighed to herself, determined to put a stop to the roller coaster emotions within her and tell him the truth.

* * * *

Carrie dipped her head, suddenly so subdued it made him anxious. At the same time, he relished the way the sunlight cavorted across the contours of her face. Her eyelashes were scant smudges against her cheeks, her sun-streaked blond hair hanging in a long braid down her back. She filled his senses and his heart.

At the barn Jay held Doolittle’s head while Jesse slipped to the ground. “I’m hot,” she complained.

Carrie stripped the wool riding coat off her daughter’s back as Jay led the pony into the stall. By the time he had finished scraping sweat off the animal, sponging him off, and throwing a cooler over his back, the stabling area had cleared. Only Carrie was left sitting in a canvas director’s chair where she sorted through Jesse’s cosmetic case.

“Where did everyone go?”

She looked up. “To watch the rest of the show.”

“Alone at last,” he bantered coming toward her.

Carrie grimaced. He ignored her scowl. Leaning over, he kissed her full on the lips.

“I’ve wanted to do that all week.” He straightened and noticed the expression of alarm in her eyes. “What? You don’t enjoy my kisses?” Jay cocked his head.

Her gaze slipped away. “It’s not that. I enjoy them
too
well.”

“Good. You had me worried.” Jay’s shoulders relaxed.

Carrie looked back at him. He saw her swallow. “Sit down,” she said, shutting the cosmetic case.

Jay plopped down on a small tack trunk beside her. “I feel a lecture coming on.”

Carrie held the handle of the cosmetic case as if it were a link to safety. Carefully, he removed it from her hands and placed it on the ground.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Jay directed, suddenly sobering.

Her gaze returned to his. He saw her draw herself up, gathering courage.

“I’m afraid I may be leading you on,” she spoke softly.

Jay placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, looking at the ground. “How’s that?”

“You told me you thought you were falling in love.”

“I did and I am. I thought we agreed you wanted to be open to the possibility of falling in love with me too.”

Carrie shifted in the chair. “I do, but I can’t.”

“That doesn’t make a lot of sense,” he said gently.

She took a breath. “I care for you. You do something to me. I feel like a kid when I’m near you. A kid on her first date.”

“That’s the way I feel.”

“But I can’t let it happen,” Carrie explained. “I have Jesse.”

Jay sat back and studied her. He waited, his mouth set in a thin line.

Carrie’s eyes flickered. She took another deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is I just don’t have myself to think about. As much as I would love to be swept away, to be in love, I must consider Jesse’s welfare over what I want.”

“And Jesse’s welfare does not include you having a relationship with me,” Jay finished for her.

“I’m afraid not.” She avoided his eyes.

Jay ran a hand through his hair. This was too ironic to be funny. He suspected the reason behind her hesitation, but he wanted to hear it from her lips. “You didn’t mean it when you said you wanted to be open to a relationship?”

“I did, don’t you see?” Carrie sat forward now. Her hands trembled. “My heart was getting in the way of my head.”

“Is that so bad?”

“It is when you have a child to raise.”

“What is your head telling you?”

“It says that as much as I care about you, Jay, it’s not fair for me to lead you on when nothing can come of it,” Carrie said in one breath, quickly, as if she had to get the words out fast.

“And why is that?”

“I can barely take care of myself and my daughter. I can’t afford to become involved with someone, well, someone who makes a groom’s salary.”

Jay wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Too much money had been the bane of his former life. Now the lack of it was messing up this one. He felt as if he’d eaten too much spicy pizza and had drunk too much stale beer.

“I see.” That’s all he could say.

“I don’t want to lie to you or hurt you, Jay.” She appeared flustered now. “I just thought I should get it out in the open before things go too far.”

“I understand.”

“Jay, don’t look like that. I’m sorry.” She captured his hands in hers as if trying to make amends. They were cold, like the words she had just spoken.

But he wasn’t ready to give up. “I won’t always be a groom,” he told her and leveled his unyielding gaze into her wary eyes. “I have other resources that I didn’t want to use for many reasons, but believe me, you’re giving me every incentive to rethink my priorities.”

“I know. It’s just that. . .” She didn’t complete her sentence.

Once again, he finished for her. “You’re afraid to take a chance. You don’t want your heart to lead.”

Her eyes grew moist, and she swallowed hard as if to fight back her emotion. “It’s just that over ten years ago I let my heart influence me. It led to a big mistake. Jesse is the result.”

Jay started to understand and gave her a sympathetic smile. “I bet it was the best mistake you ever made.”

She nodded silently. “Jesse.”

“Trust me. You won’t make a mistake by loving me,” Jay said with quiet conviction.

She squeezed his hands and looked back at him with wide eyes. “I’m trying to keep from hurting you.”

It finally sank in. She was ending their brief flirtation. Withdrawing his hands, he stood up. “Well, it’s not working.”

God, why did he sound so petulant? Retreating to where Jesse’s saddle sat on its pommel in the dirt, he began wiping lather from underneath the flaps. What a kick in the pants. He was glad Carter couldn’t see him now. His father would roll on the floor with laughter because he had broken Carter’s number one rule—never let a woman get to you.

Carrie’s cell phone played a loud, jingling ringtone, breaking the strained silence. Jay didn’t turn around as she answered it. He lifted the saddle and placed it in a tack trunk.

“Oh my, I’m stunned.” Jay heard Carrie say. “Thank you. Yes, I’ll call you Monday.”

He heard the snap as she closed the phone. Turning around, he found her face had paled beneath her tan. Quickly, he went to her. “Carrie, what’s wrong?” He grasped her hands, connecting to her. “Is it bad news?”

“No, it’s good news actually.” Her gaze leveled on his.

“Can you tell me?”

“My lawyer says someone has bought Tate’s business.”

“Did he say who?”

“No, he doesn’t know. He dealt with another lawyer.”

Jay was silent. He gently rubbed her hands with his thumbs. Her skin felt like soft velvet. After a long moment, he drew a deep breath. “I suppose this eases your financial pressure a little.”

She searched his face. “I guess so. I’ll have to think this through. It’s so sudden.”

“You’ll be able to keep Dr. Doolittle now.”

Carrie nodded. “Yes, I suppose so.”

“Maybe now you’ll be able to give me that chance I asked for.” His whisper was a plea from his heart. “Remember, I won’t always be a caretaker of horses. I’m ambitious.”

She hesitated. As if in slow motion she stood. Taking her hands from his, she slipped her arms around his neck. She felt so good. She smelled of suntan lotion. Jay clutched her to his chest. The rise and fall of her breast was like a welcome homecoming.

“Jay, taking a chance is hard for me,” Carrie murmured into his ear, “but at this moment, I’ll be happy to let my heart have its lead.”

Chapter Six

Wildwood Stables
Days later

“Have you ever ridden a five-gaited horse?” Jay asked.

“No.” Carrie looked steadily into his hazel eyes. She sensed his nearness, the soft touch of his breath upon her face, the tangy scent of his aftershave. She felt a familiar tug at her heart and a longing so large that made her insides ache.