[Kentucky Brothers 01] - The Journey (51 page)

He slowly shook his head. “The only thing I might be sorry about is that I didn’t come to my senses sooner.”

Tears stung Phoebe’s eyes, and she started to sob.

Titus hated to hurt Phoebe’s feelings, but he saw no other way. He just wished he’d seen her for who she was when they both lived in Pennsylvania. She’d never really loved him; he was sure of that now. She’d only cared about her own needs.

Being selfish and self-centered was not the way a Christian should act. Their church taught that a follower of Christ should be humble, not full of pride; obedient to God’s Word, not rebellious; kind, not mean-spirited; and always thinking of others, not oneself. Phoebe had never shown any of the Christian attributes. Titus didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it when they were younger, other than the fact that he’d been blinded by Phoebe’s good looks and flirtatious ways.

Suzanne, on the other hand, was everything he really wanted in a woman. She was kindhearted, smart, humble, full of fun, and he was sure she loved the Lord. If she’d have him, he was going to ask her to be his wife.

“I’ve got to go now, Phoebe. Think about my offer to give you the bus fare home, and let me know if you change your mind.” He turned toward his horse.

“Wait a minute! Where are you going?”

Titus said nothing but climbed on Lightning’s back and rode away.

“How are you feeling today?” Mom asked when Suzanne entered the kitchen.

“A little better.” Suzanne went to the cupboard and removed a glass. “But I’d feel even better if I’d hear something from Titus.”

“He was in the woodshop every day this week. You could have gone out and talked to him.”

Suzanne filled her glass with water and took a drink. “I thought about that, and I could have asked Nelson or Grandpa if Titus had said anything to them about me or Phoebe, but I decided against it. Whatever Titus decides, it’ll be better if I hear it from him when he’s ready.”

Mom moved away from the stove and put her arm around Suzanne. “If you and Titus are meant to be together, things will work out. If he chooses Phoebe, then he wasn’t the man God wanted for you.”

Suzanne blinked against tears threatening to spill over. “If he chooses her and they stay here in Kentucky, I don’t think I could bear it. Every time I’d see them together, my heart would break in two.”

“I know it’ll be hard, but God will give you the strength to deal with things if it happens that way.” Mom smiled. “In Isaiah 66:13 it says that God comforts us like a mother comforts her children.”

Suzanne didn’t respond. Instead she started setting the table. If Titus ended up marrying Phoebe, she’d accept it as God’s will, but she wouldn’t stay here. She’d have to find someplace else to live.

A
fter Titus left, Phoebe stormed into the house, dropped to the sofa, and covered her face with her hands. She couldn’t believe he had turned her away. When they’d been courting, he’d promised that he’d always love her, but apparently he’d lied. If she couldn’t make him see that she’d be better for him than Suzanne, then she had come here for nothing. She’d have been better off in California, living on the street.

Hot tears rolled down Phoebe’s cheeks. It was hard not to feel sorry for herself when her whole life was messed up and nothing had turned out the way she’d hoped. Why was it that things went so well for some people, and for others, nothing seemed to work out?

The back door opened and banged shut. Phoebe pulled her hands away from her face and quickly dried her tears on the front of her apron.

“What’s wrong, Phoebe?” Esther asked, as she entered the room. “Have you been crying?”

Phoebe nodded slowly and nearly gulped on the sob rising in her throat. “Titus came by this morning. I … I told him that I love him, but he said he doesn’t love me anymore. He thinks he belongs with Suzanne.” She sniffed deeply and reached for a tissue from the box on the table beside the sofa. “I can’t believe he’d choose her over me. I’ve known him a lot longer than she has, and the whole time he and I were courting, he kept saying he wanted to marry me and would never love anyone else.”

Esther sat down beside Phoebe and reached out to touch her trembling shoulder. “I don’t think you really love him. I think you’ve been using him because you need a place to belong, and he’s the person you thought you could turn to in your hour of need.”

Phoebe sat with her head down and shoulders slumped. She knew Esther was right but couldn’t admit it, not even to herself.

“You need to get your life straight, and in order to do that, you have to give your heart fully to the Lord,” Esther said.

“I told Titus that I’d join the Amish church. Isn’t that good enough?”

“No, it’s not. Being Amish is our way of life, but joining the church is giving your heart to the Lord. You must see yourself as a sinner who needs to be saved, and then joining the church will be your confession of faith.” Esther reached for the Bible lying on the table beside the box of tissues. She opened it and said to Phoebe, “Romans 3:23 reads, ‘For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.’ “

Phoebe’s tears spilled over onto her dress. “I … I know I’ve done many wrong things in my life, and I wouldn’t blame God if He didn’t forgive me.”

“But you
can
find forgiveness,” Esther said, gently patting Phoebe’s back. “In 1 John 1:9 it tells us, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ “

“I’ve heard that verse before when I’ve gone to church with my family. I just never took it to heart.” Phoebe gulped on another sob. “I … I want to seek forgiveness and turn my life over to Christ right now.”

Eager to speak to Suzanne, Titus got Lightning moving at a fast trot. He’d already wasted enough time trying to reason with Phoebe when he should have been at the Yoders’, opening his heart to Suzanne. If only, from the beginning, he hadn’t been taken in by Phoebe’s beguiling ways.

But then, if I hadn’t courted Phoebe, and she hadn’t run off to California, I wouldn’t have come to Kentucky or met Suzanne
, he reasoned.

Titus urged Lightning on until the Yoders’ house came into view. Then, guiding the horse up the driveway, he stopped in front of the hitching rail. He’d just stepped down from the saddle when Nelson came out of the woodshop and motioned for him to come inside.

Titus secured Lightning and headed up the driveway.

“Are you working here today?” he asked when he entered the shop and found Nelson sitting at his grandfather’s desk.

“Jah. I don’t normally work on Saturdays, but since Grandpa went shopping with Mom today, I thought I’d take a look at the books and see how we’re doing, and then maybe do some sanding on those.” He motioned to a set of cupboard doors leaning against the far wall.

“If you needed my help, I could have come to work today.” Titus leaned on one end of the desk.

“That’s okay. With all you’ve had on your mind this week, I figured you needed the day off.”

“You’re right about that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying all week.”

“Have you reached a decision?”

Titus nodded. He’d shared his frustration and confusion about Phoebe with both Nelson and Isaac this week and knew they’d been praying for him. “I’d like to tell you what I’ve decided, but I think it’s only fair that I discuss it with Suzanne first.”

“That makes good sense.” Nelson pointed to the ledger. “Don’t mean to change the subject, but we have a lot of orders stacking up. I hope we can get them all done before Christmas.”

“I think between you, me, and Suzanne working here in the shop we’ll be able to get everything done.”

Nelson scratched his head. “I’m afraid I haven’t been fair to my sister. I’ve come to realize that she’s happy working with wood, and I apologized to her last night. Said I shouldn’t have been so narrow-minded about her wanting to do a job I’d thought was only for a man.”

“I’ll bet she was pleased to hear you say that.”

“Jah. Even gave me a hug.”

Titus smiled.

“So what’d you come here for?” Nelson asked. “Was it to speak to Suzanne?”

Titus nodded.

“She’s up at the house, so go right ahead. She might be resting on the sofa, but you can go in.”

“I will. See you later, Nelson.” Titus hurried out the door.

He’d only made it halfway to the house when Suzanne’s little sister, Effie, came running out of the barn. “Kumme! Schnell!” she hollered, waving her hands. “Something’s wrong with Fluffy!”

Titus knew Fluffy was one of Suzanne’s favorite cats, so he took off on a run behind Effie. When he entered the barn, he followed her to the stack of hay on the far side of the room. “Where’s Fluffy?” he asked.

Effie pointed a trembling finger toward the first stack of hay. “She’s behind there.”

Titus hurried across the room and peered behind the bales of hay. What he saw made him cringe. Poor Fluffy had managed to get herself tangled in a piece of baling twine that had apparently come loose from the hay. The twine was wrapped around the cat’s body so tightly that all she could do was roll pathetically from side to side.

There would have been a day when Titus would have hesitated to pick up the cat for fear of getting scratched, but he didn’t think twice about helping Fluffy now.

He scooped the cat into his arms and took a seat on a bale of hay. Then he proceeded to untangle the twine, being careful not to frighten the poor critter any more than she was.

“Don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt my sister’s katz.” Effie stood beside him, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open.

“I won’t hurt the cat. I’m only trying to help her.” Titus grimaced. “If Fluffy would hold still, it would make things a lot easier.”

“I’ll pet her head and talk softly to her,” Effie said. “Maybe that’ll calm her down.”

Titus nodded. “That’s a good idea. Keep petting her until I get the twine off.”

It took some time to accomplish the task, but Titus kept at it until he’d untangled the mess and Fluffy was free. “Here you go,” he said, handing the cat to Effie. “That was quite an ordeal, so maybe you ought to get her some water and see if she wants to drink.”