Kelly Hill (6 page)

A familiar sound coming from the driveway alerted Rachel to the arrival of her father, who was back an entire day early from his trip.

Rachel took a few minutes to check just exactly which universities had implored her to give them a chance so that she could discuss them with her father and then left her room.

Helen DeVross might have been hard to deal with, but Peter Gunn was Rachel's father. Her mentor and the only person who had ever really let her know what it meant to work hard and earn the things you got in life.

She bounded down the steps, excited to see him after an entire week but stopped on the stairs when she saw Kelly standing there, looking up at her. His fingers to his lips, signaling her to be quiet.

Rachel tilted her head to the side, confused, but then heard the also familiar sound of shouting coming from the kitchen.

Not even in the same house for ten minutes and they were already at each other’s throats.

Rachel was crestfallen, it wasn’t like Kelly didn’t know that they always fought, or even how it made her feel, but she never wanted him to see it. She never wanted anyone to see this part. She didn’t need Kelly to think that he had to take care of her.

Rachel stood on the steps leading to the first floor and paused in front of Kelly, her breath hanging in suspension with her body. Why was it so hard to push past Kelly and address the fight downstairs? In the whole time he had been in California Rachel wanted to do just one thing and now, she felt it more than ever.

He was trying to stop her from going into the kitchen, as if she hadn’t heard everything that was being said before. As if she didn’t know that the moment her father had gotten home he would find something to be angry about with Ethan. He was trying to protect her. Still.

Rachel took a deep breath in and stepped around Kelly, her mind made up.

The problem with Ethan was that he just didn’t try.

If he ever tried their dad wouldn’t be so hard on him, that was the truth and she knew it.

It wouldn’t always be a knockdown, drag-out fight; it would just be a few short words, clipped and angry, but nothing like this. Not like this.

Rachel looked at Kelly and felt embarrassed; he shouldn’t have to see this. Not this part. This part that Rachel had always worked so hard at keeping hidden from everyone that knew her. Even Kelly, with his infinite knowledge of her, she had hoped  this wouldn’t have happened in front of him.

“
Dad, it’s not that big of a deal!” Ethan was shouting now, his voice deeper than usual, lined with a rich tone of anger.

“
No, it’s never a big deal with you, is it?” Rachel heard her father’s lower voice, the rage building in the back of his throat. “It’s a never a big deal when it’s someone else’s money.”

“
Dad, it’s just a van.” Ethan was getting exasperated now, “I needed it for work.”

“
Ethan, I gave you that money for your G.E.D, not for some wild hippie van. You need to get your life together and clean up this,” Peter's voice broke off as he thought of the next word, “Mess. You’re a slob, Ethan and it’s embarrassing.”

The words weren’t directed at Rachel, but she felt them cut just as deep. She knew her dad had always looked down on Ethan’s pursuits and they had nearly come to blows over it before but this was over the top. Something must have happened while she was upstairs.

“Gee, Dad, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” Ethan’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“
Oh don’t give me that.” Rachel’s dad had simmered down quite a bit, but his tongue was still just as sharp as ever, “You’re a slob, Ethan. You’ve always been a slob and you’ll always be one.”

Rachel took a breath in and descended the stairs.

She rounded the corner and saw the two warring parties in the kitchen stuck in a stalemate.

“
Did you know about this?” Her father turned to Rachel then, wondering if he had to rope his daughter into the yelling as well, or if Ethan was on his own.

Rachel felt her head shaking back and forth, her lips being unable to move. She had no idea Ethan had used the money their dad had sent him on the dilapidated van sitting outside. If he didn’t want to use it on school, why not just send the money back? It sure would have saved a lot of trouble, or so Rachel told herself.

Not believing her one bit her dad closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his right hand, “You know, this, I expected this from Ethan, but you,” He made a noise in the back of his throat, “I thought you were better than this.”

Rachel had to hand it to her father. It was the baby squirrel incident all over again. Ethan had found a baby squirrel on the ground and decided to hide it in his room, nursing it back to health and trying to keep it as a pet. Rachel knew about Larry the squirrel from the beginning but Ethan had begged her not to say anything, a fact Rachel regretted the very moment Larry made his daring escape.

They chased the squirrel out of Ethan's bedroom and down the hall, following it right to the moment is crawled up Peter Gunn's trouser leg.

Their father exited the kitchen and Rachel heard the door to his study slam shut.

Rachel stared at Ethan for some time before she decided to say anything but when she opened her mouth Ethan held up his hand, “Not right now, Rach.”

Rachel closed her mouth and just stood there, listening to her steady breathing, wishing she could figure out a way to help him.

“You coulda stuck up for me, ya know.” Ethan was still mad and looking for someone to take it out on, Rachel being the only convenient target at the moment.

“
He made some decent points.” Rachel’s voice was softer than normal, she didn’t want to hurt Ethan’s feelings any more than what had already happened but she did want him to see a little bit of reality. Yes, their father’s delivery had been wrong, but couldn’t Ethan see the logic behind it?

He was twenty-two years old; he needed to stop acting like a child.

Ethan glared at her and crossed his arms over his chest. “You would say that, you get everything you want, Rose.”

Rachel felt her facial muscles twitch at the nickname Ethan pulled out whenever he was angry with her or felt mistreated. He had come up with name after seeing a few episodes of The Golden Girls and decided that it fit Rachel just fine.

He was acting like a sulking little boy and now he wanted her to be just as upset with him as he was at her, that way they could get the fight out of the way and over with.

It was a vicious, dangerous, cycle the entire family lived in. They picked at one another to cause reactions and then delivered tremendous blows once there was any sort of conflict.

Rachel twisted the ring on her index finger around anxiously and she stared at Ethan, willing her spirit to calm down, to not give in to Ethan’s baiting in front of guests.

For the first time, Rachel noticed that Logan was in the kitchen with them. Had he been there the whole time?

Kelly leaned against the door frame that lead from the living room the kitchen and he stared at her with those penetrating green eyes.

He had wanted her to stay on the stairs, to not make a sound so that he could protect her from the argument, but couldn’t he see? Didn’t he already know? This is the way it had always been. She lived in this mess; there was no protecting her from it. There was just surviving it.

There was just waiting it out till something better came along.

Rachel used to be able to escape to Phillips; she could make her father proud from a distance and not have to worry about all the different ways that she could disappoint him. All she had to do was everything that she could. And it was easy to an extent. It had always been easy.

Except when it wasn’t.

Except when everything she did was just below his standards, then she endured the quiet rage as she was lumped in with her delinquent brother.

“How did he think we were going to get here?” Ethan was scowling. “If he didn’t know about the van, why the hell did he even agree to let us stay here?”

Rachel had no response for him; she just stood there, praying that Logan and Kelly would forget all of this. Praying that this had never happened in front of them.

“Do you want to leave early, dude?” Logan was trying to be consoling, but his tone was flat, uncomfortable. No one knew what to do in this situation.

Ethan slid his eyes from Rachel to Logan and then back again. He seemed to mull over this option he was just presented for a moment before speaking again.

“I need a break.” Ethan grumbled out, grabbing his car keys and heading for the door.

Logan took one look at Rachel and gave a half-hearted shrug before following his friend out the back door.

The door slammed behind Logan and Rachel gave a small jump. She was working extra hard to maintain the facade in front of Kelly, but she really just needed him to leave now.

She needed to be able to be herself, alone and on her own so that she could bounce back from this whole catastrophe, why couldn’t he see that? She needed some air to breathe.

“You alright?” Kelly’s voice was soft and she knew he was trying his hardest to make things right for her, even if it wasn’t his place to do so.

She forced a smile, the same one she always did when things like this happened, “Of course, just a little family drama, nothing I can’t handle.”

Kelly knew that she was lying she could see it in his eyes.

“
Do you wanna get outta here?” His question was more than a question and she felt it in her core.

He was offering her a life raft from the dysfunction.

Rachel’s stomach twisted in guilt as she thought about that and she had to push through once more to gain the upper hand. She had left Phillips for a reason. If she backed out now everything would be wasted. Everything she had done would mean nothing.

“
Kelly, we’re not friends.” Her voice was low in the back of her throat, her words hollow. “Stop acting like it.”

Kelly’s eyes narrowed at the rebuff, “Listen, Rachel this doesn’t have to be about Jefferson.”

Rachel stared at him, her mouth a small line across her face. It would always be about Jefferson. That was a fact neither one of them could escape. “Just leave me alone, Kelly.”

Rachel didn’t wait for a response before she walked back to her room, far away from the dysfunction of her family and the mess with Kelly. She could feel him boring holes into her retreating back but she couldn’t give in now. Rachel had made all these decisions too long ago to change them now.

She looked at the unopened letter on her night stand.

Why couldn’t anything just stay buried?

Chapter Four

Phillips Academy

Charleston, West Virginia

August 12th 2008

Rachel

Maybe it was the way the sunlight caught his eyes that early morning, or maybe it was the sweat he was so unashamed of that clung to the golden curls of his hair and dripped down whenever he jostled his head. Whichever, it seemed Rachel was smitten with Ryan Prescott from the very beginning and nothing would ever tear her away.

Not to mention that Ryan Prescott came from a very good stock, something her father would find admirable and her mother would see as acceptable. He received well enough grades and was active in just enough extracurricular activities to be deemed desirable by all counts on Rachel’s list of required attributes. He had even placed high in several advanced classes, classes that Rachel herself had fought to get into.

But it wasn’t just all those things, no, there was more to Ryan Prescott than even Rachel knew, and that’s what she was drawn to. He seemed to be an untouchable idea. The perfect, charismatic Ryan Prescott of Phillips Academy.

He was the best match for her at Phillips and everyone knew it. Even headmistress Grear seemed to sign off on the arrangement with a happy heart, encouraging the relationship more so than any other couple at the school.

Ryan was set to graduate a year earlier than Rachel and then he was going to attend Harvard Law in the fall while she finished up her senior year. It made perfect and complete sense.

Rachel knew, or she liked to pretend she knew, if she hadn’t been so enamored by Ryan, so distracted by his very presence, she would have seen it.

And if Rachel was really being honest with herself, which she rarely ever was, she would admit that it had been Jefferson first that had caught her eye and not Ryan. Yes, it was Ryan Prescott that she was smitten with in the end, but it was Jefferson that she first noticed.

Top of his class. Best in show. Sharp defining features she hadn’t learned to relate to some type of carnivorous animal. Alarmingly blue eyes that seemed almost a frozen color when the sunlight shone on them just right and a well-toned physique that showed he cared just as much about appearances as she did.

It was in fact, the first day that Rachel met Ryan she had been trying very carefully to be noticed by a one Jefferson Williams. They had met the week prior and Rachel had tried not to spend most of her time thinking about him.

But when she found out he played Lacrosse for Phillips she couldn’t help rearrange her schedule to walk past the field at just the right moment.

Now, she was walking with Melody, her books held against her chest, her outfit carefully picked out for its hints of gold on a very soft lilac. She knew the colors would bring the best out of her complexion and in the mid-morning sunlight, she would look positively pristine.

Melody chattered on about something of little to importance and Rachel pretended as if she really cared when she was really just looking for the right moment to lift her head and look.

She could hear the players running down the field now, the shouting was getting closer, and Rachel recognized the commanding voice of Jefferson.

Looking back, Rachel would always wish that she had listened to what Melody was saying. If she had listened to her friend she might have heard something important that would have turned her away from her crusade of getting Jefferson’s attention, because, if she had never gotten his attention then maybe none of this might never had happened. But then again, it was Jefferson. He might have been working just as hard to get her attention as she was his.

Someone had shouted something about a head’s up and then all of the sudden a ball was rolling across the ground and stopping against Rachel’s heal. Naturally, Rachel bent down to pick up the ball, hoping this was her moment. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t Jefferson that greeted her but rather the beautiful sweaty Ryan Prescott with his charmingly sparkling eyes.

The sun had tanned his skin to a warm golden brown and the perspiration almost seemed to glitter. It was in fact, the perfect moment. Almost as if Ryan had planned it and not the other way around. Ryan and not Rachel who wanted to be noticed.

“I think you’ve lost something.” She smiled at him and handed the ball back through a hole in the fence.

“
I keep trying to tell it not to run off, but it just doesn’t listen.” Ryan responded, his charming tone of voice holding a hint of laughter. “I’m glad now though.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow, “Glad? How so?”

“Because now I get to talk to you.” Ryan winked at her.

“
Come on, Ryan, let’s go!” Jefferson shouted from further down the field and Rachel looked in his direction. He was scowling as the sweat ran down his face.

Ryan rolled his eyes, “Well the master calls.”

Rachel couldn’t help herself from giggling, “You better go then, before you get into any trouble.”

Ryan flashed her a sly grin, “I won’t so as long as you tell me your name.”

Rachel laughed, embarrassed and flattered, “Its Rachel.”

Then Ryan was off, running back to his teammates who were waiting on him.

Rachel caught Jefferson’s eyes and shivered, his face was a stone, not at all as welcoming as the day he had walked her to the main building. She turned away from him and continued on with Melody, assuming she would finish her story.

“
Ryan is such a dork.” Melody laughed and shook her head.

“
You know him?” Rachel’s head perked up, looking at her roommate.

“
Yeah, our families have been friends with each other for ages. I’ve seen him through every awkward stage, and trust me, that boy has had a lot.” Melody joked.

“
Well he looks all grown up now.” Rachel teased, looking back towards the lacrosse field.

“
Rachel Gunn!” Melody shouted in fake astonishment, “That’s not very lady like of you!”

Rachel shrugged and made a face, “Who says I’m a lady?”

“You know who I’d like to get to know more?” Melody nodded back at the lacrosse team, “Jefferson Williams. Talk about hot.”

Rachel laughed, “I don’t know he’s so serious all the time. Is that really something you’re attracted to?”

“He’s dark and mysterious.” Melody grinned, “I could warm that cold heart of his.”

“
Oh gosh, you’re terrible.” Rachel laughed at her friend, feeling odd she wasn’t more upset someone else found an interest in Jefferson. For a moment she had been attracted to him, had even talked herself into believing that there was something there between them, something she might like to be a part of, but it seemed to have disappeared the instant she met Ryan.

Whatever she thought she had felt for Jefferson was over in an instant. She only wished later he could have felt the same.