Authors: Laura Gibson
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
June 15th, 2010
Rachel
Rachel could feel the air sticking in her lungs like wet pieces of tissue paper. She wanted to exhale and her legs wanted to run, but there was nowhere for her to go. Behind stood the empty expanse of cowardice and before her stood the creature that had effectively ruined her life.
In one fell swoop, Jefferson had come into her life and blackened it with his empty soul, and now he was standing in front of her like none of it mattered. Like he hadn’t murdered two people and left another two to fend for themselves in the aftermath.
Somewhere behind her Kelly was taking point. Protecting her from having to say the first word.
He stepped forward and stood next to Jefferson, their lean backs facing the other three.
Kelly’s hands were in his pockets, his stance mirroring Jefferson’s. For a second Rachel could see why they had been friends. They were shaped the same. Cut from the same thin man’s cloth. Two men who looked like they never left each other's side.
“
I was wondering when you’d show up.” Rachel could hear the smile in Jefferson’s voice as he spoke. “Can’t keep a good man, down, can they, Kelly?”
“
I’m here for Rachel.” Kelly was trying to sound polite, but Rachel knew that was just a skip and a hop away from all out anarchy.
“
Me too.” Ethan sounded more cross, like they were going to stick it to Jefferson right then and there.
Jefferson turned around, his vulture-like smile spread across an open mouth, “And you must be Ethan Gunn, the brother.”
He stuck out his hand in greeting, “I’ve been waiting to meet you for quite some time.”
Ethan looked suspicious, but more willing to cooperate than he sounded, “And you are?”
“Of course.” Jefferson was still smiling, his facade never faltering, “I’m Jefferson Williams.”
Jefferson looked at Logan and his eyes flinched a little, he wasn’t expecting a fourth member of the group, that wasn’t a part of the plan.
Rachel felt herself smiling. Like the cracks in Rachel, there were also cracks in Jefferson. Cracks that she could use and exploit. Cracks that could destroy him.
Check.
“And you are?” He leaned forward, waiting for Logan to give away his name. Waiting for Logan to give him anything.
“
Logan M. Logen.” Logan answered, ignoring Jefferson’s outstretched hand. Logan turned to Rachel, “What times your meeting with Grear?”
Rachel couldn’t help but revel in the fact that someone was being openly rude to Jefferson. Everyone always seemed to walk on eggshells around the legacy; she had never seen anyone rebuff him as artfully as Logan had. Maybe there was more to him than Rachel had originally given him credit for.
“It’s at two.” Rachel answered, never looking at Jefferson outright. She felt stronger with the three of them with her, but it was still Jefferson and she was still very much aware of what that meant.
“
Your first name is your last name?” Jefferson was trying to put the focus back on him. He always had to be the center of attention. It was the only way he survived.
“
They’re spelled different.” Logan blinked at him as if this was perfectly natural.
“
Is it a family name?” Jefferson tried again. He knew nothing about this new creature in front of him and now he had to get as much information out of him as he could before they found a way to use it against him.
“
No.” Logan blinked again before looking back at Rachel, “You said there was food?”
“
Yeah, I think they’re getting ready to open the cafe right now if you want to head over.” She pointed with her thumb behind her.
Finally, Jefferson relented, seeing that he wasn’t going to get anything out of Logan he looked back to Kelly, “How was Hartford?”
“You should know.” Kelly’s tone was cold.
Jefferson’s smile returned, “Yeah, I heard they don’t like repeat offenders over there in Connecticut. That had to have been rough, going to the same classes that did nothing for Anna.”
“It was okay.” Kelly’s voice was fighting hard to remain steady and Rachel could see his anger boiling just below the surface. Jefferson could see it as well.
“
And how did you fare this time around? Well? Or should we be looking for needles? Do you think it really stuck? It didn’t stick for Anna.” Jefferson was becoming bolder as he pushed Kelly’s buttons.
“
Hey man, don’t be a prick.” Ethan stepped in, his face frowning. “Now I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but you need to back off right now.”
Jefferson’s smile widened. He looked at Rachel. “I’m glad you could make it. I was really looking forward to seeing you.”
“I was hoping you had died.” Rachel shrugged. “I guess we can’t all get what we want.”
She wasn’t surprised about the words that fell out of her mouth, she just had hoped that she could have come up with something a little bit more clever for the first thing she said to him. But it was honest and it would do. She wasn’t going to be playing his game this time around. This wasn’t Jefferson’s chess match anymore. This was a new game and suddenly the fear in her stomach had stopped bothering her so much. There was nothing Jefferson could do that he hadn’t already done.
Rachel had left Phillips to protect Kelly and now she was back with Kelly in tow, meaning that everything she had done was a waste before. She had to start over from square one. But she had Ethan and Logan this time around.
She could beat Jefferson. She could win.
For a second Rachel looked at Jefferson and considered telling him that, then a split second connection with Kelly’s eyes stopped her. It wasn’t just Jefferson she needed to beat. He was just a symptom of the underlying sickness.
Her eyes went from Kelly to Ethan and Logan. They were in over their heads and Rachel had almost forgotten.
That morning she had awoken completely aware of what was happening, but at the first sign of camaraderie she had forgotten that there was more at work here than just a spoiled rich kid playing God.
Posledstviya.
“Come on, Rachel.” Jefferson chided her, “Let’s be friends.”
Rachel inhaled once and did not exhale. She held the breath, counting the different times that Jefferson had tried to kill her. “I’ll see you around, Jeff.” She stepped around him and stood next to Kelly who was still upset at the jibes towards his sister.
Slowly, she took his hand and led him to the lacrosse field, away from Jefferson and everything else that didn’t matter.
Rachel could hear Logan and Ethan talking while Jefferson walked away but she didn’t let go of Kelly’s hand. He needed someone to protect him.
She felt guilty for asking him to come back with her. It was selfish and Jefferson was cruel. This was going to be hard for a good man like Kelly. Everyone else had their secrets and had dabbled in psychological warfare, but not Kelly. Never Kelly. He was too honest for any of that.
She knew she would ask about the probation that Ryan and Jefferson had both brought up, but for right she just held his hand while Logan and Ethan decided if they wanted to go to the cafe or not.
Rachel laid her head on Kelly’s shoulder and he squeezed her hand.
“
Don’t worry, Kelly.” She whispered, “It's okay.”
Kelly nodded but didn’t say anything. He never could when it came to Anna.
She kissed his shoulder and they stood there for a few more minutes, looking at nothing and everything all at the same time. Both thinking the same thing.
This was the beginning of the end.
Chapter Nineteen
Phillips Academy
Charleston, West Virginia
October 29th, 2008
Rachel
The glass hadn’t damaged any vital organs, but if she hadn’t arrived at the hospital when she did, she would have probably bled out. At least, that’s what a very young nurse had told her before anyone had the chance to tell her not to.
The stitches were itchier than Rachel thought stitches should be, but she didn’t say anything about it, she didn’t want to be a nuisance. She was already a burden.
Her father had called the hospital room to see if she was okay but he didn’t make the effort to visit, there would be no point if she was going to live.
Helen didn’t do either and Ethan was kept blissfully unaware.
Kelly slept in the chair next to her bed for the one night she was there.
The first thing Rachel did when asked about the fall was tell the truth. She had no reason to hide it from the people designed to protect her and so she decided that was the best course of action.
There was an inquisition. Specialists asked her questions that didn’t seem to make sense.
She was removed from school during the following week, put in a hotel off campus and asked to wait until the investigation was over.
Rachel was sure there would be a mess after everything, but she knew it was for the best. Jefferson was a menace and needed to be put in his place. He was completely out of control if he thought he could just try to kill someone and get away with it.
It was one week after the event in question when Grear called Rachel into her office to tell her the decision.
Kelly walked down the hallway with her and stopped a few strides away from the door. “Rachel.” He paused, his face nervous, afraid of something. “I need you to know something.”
Rachel frowned; she was tired of the secrets between Kelly and Jefferson. She was tired of getting roped into things that weren’t her problem. She had already stuck her neck out once and look what had happened to her. “What’s going on, Kelly?”
He had been silent for a good deal of the week that she had been out of Phillips and she knew it was because he just wasn’t sure what to say. Neither of them really knew what to say, but now, the look on his face made her anxious. Frustrated almost. If he wanted to share, he should have done so before they were moments away from walking into the office.
“I just want you to be careful.” His voice was lower this time around. “The Williams have some very powerful friends and I don’t want to see you get on the wrong side of them.”
“
I think it’s a little too late for that, Kelly.” Rachel’s frown deepened, “I mean, he did almost just try to kill me.”
Kelly shook his head, “No, its different Rachel, trust me.”
“You keep saying that. ‘Trust me’ like I have a choice in the matter. Like you’ve given me an actual reason to trust you.” Rachel really was frustrated with him now. “I can’t just trust a stranger, Kelly, life doesn’t work that way.”
She saw his back molars grind together as he tried to come up with a way to tell her the truth without telling her the whole thing.
“Either tell me everything or go away. Because you’re not helping anyone either way.” She turned on her heel and walked away from him, knowing that when she exited the office he wouldn’t be there waiting for her.
Rachel knew she wasn’t worth sticking around for and she had just told him it was okay to leave. There were no obligations on either side anymore.
Rachel entered Grear’s office prepared to write down a statement saying that Jefferson pushed her down the stairs but instead of just Grear sitting there like she expected she took in the sight of two other individuals, flanking the elderly woman.
“
Miss Gunn, why don’t you take a seat?” Grear was smiling. “We have a lot to talk about.”
Rachel looked at all three of them and tried not to feel betrayed. Something was happening here that didn’t make sense. Something that wasn’t right.
“Now, we know that you and Mister Williams had some trouble in the past,” Grear gave her a sympathetic look, “But we’ve decided that it’s alright for you to come back to the school now. You will not be expelled.”
Rachel’s lip tightened and her eyes narrowed, “Excuse me?”
“Well, I have several statements here dear that say that you stalked Jefferson Williams for several weeks before you threatened to get him kicked out of school.” Grear put her hand on a file of papers. “But Mister Williams says that he still wants you to be able to get an education and he holds no ill will towards you.”
“
Stalk him? I never stalked him.” Rachel was more confused now than ever, she looked between the two people standing on either side of Grear and shook her head, “That’s a mistake. I never did that.”
“
Dear, we have it here in your medical records that you are…” Grear paused, trying to decide on the word, “suffering from a psychological disease.”
“
A what?” Rachel was thrown. Is that what all those questions had been about? Were people trying to diagnose her with something?
Were they throwing her under the bus to save Jefferson?
“It’s all right here, dear.” Grear passed Rachel a letter. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t know.”
Rachel looked down at the paper and read its contents, feeling sick to her stomach.
Head Mistress Grear,
Per your request I have reviewed Rachel Gunn’s case and have come to my own conclusions regarding the young woman. I think you will see my findings as both enlightening and relieving.
As stated in prior applications I do not believe that Miss Gunn has what is commonly referred to as a photographic memory. Although several experts on the subject have come before me, citing such, I believe that Miss Gunn’s memories are littered with fanciful hints, as she is adding details, or leaving some out.
However, this does not seem to be a voluntary process, as Miss Gunn genuinely believes the memories themselves and accepts them as facts.
The patient seems to be suffering from Eidetic Imagery. She is able to recall with vivid clarity certain scenes or places in her mind, but cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy.
Selective Memory Syndrome may play a part in this condition and well as her previous diagnosis of Delusional Disorder.
Although Miss Gunn seems to have false memories, I do not believe her to possess Delusional Disorder.
I recommend she seek therapy twice a week until her conditions subside.
However, if Miss Gunn refuses treatment she is healthy enough to be in normal society without fear of another episode.
What caused the episode was likely something that triggered, any, if not all of the above stated conditions in her mind and put Miss Gunn in a mindset where she believed that she had to fight to survive.
Her largest issue at hand would be her avoidance of any situation that makes her uncomfortable or where she feels she had no control. She smooths over anxious subjects and that’s where most of her false memories stem from.
As a side note, Miss Gunn may possess a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder due to anxiety brought on by external forces, please see that, if she is allowed to return to Phillips Academy, her course load be lessened tremendously.
Miss Gunn is an active and engaging individual, her brain functions on a level that is above average.
She’s a relatively healthy, well-adjusted young woman possessing a bright mind.
Best Regards,
Dr. June Hathorford, MD
Rachel set down the paper and exhaled. “So that’s it then?” Her voice was low and her eyes unforgiving.
“Dear, we’re letting you stay, isn’t that well enough?” Grear was trying to smooth over the situation but Rachel couldn’t hear past the rush of blood in her ears and the anger rising in her chest filled her senses.
“
Can I go now?” she asked, hoping that Grear would say yes. Let her go and figure out just what to do about the whole thing now.
Jefferson had Grear in the palm of his hand and there was nothing anyone could do to help her. Her voice was silenced with signed documents and her credibility with smashed. She had nothing left.
“Why don’t you take some time off, Rachel?” Grear replied, “Go home and come back for the next semester.”
Rachel shook her head, “No.” She met Grear’s eyes head on then, “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”
Rachel stood up and began to leave, but when her hand was on the knob she turned and looked back at Grear, “You know, I would have given this school everything.”
She wrenched open the door and walked out into the empty hallway.
Kelly wasn’t there, just like she knew he wouldn’t be, but that was alright. She had already decided that she was going to find out just what he had been warning her about in the first place.
No more trying to stay away from drama. Now she was going to dive right in. They wanted to silence Rachel Gunn? They wanted to throw her under the bus?
Rachel planned on making that the biggest mistake of their lives.