Keeping You (19 page)

And Nash could speak with his mom and make it clear she wasn’t allowed to talk to Aria that way, but if Mom had taken that much of a disliking to his wife, Nash knew it would take time—and lots of it—for her to warm up to Aria. If she ever did. Nash had inherited his tendency to hold a grudge from Joy’s side of the family, no doubt about it.

“
Aren’t you going to say something?” Aria asked after a moment.

“
I don’t know what to say,” Nash said, glancing down at Felicity, heart twisting at the thought of losing her or her mama. They’d already become such a part of him. The best part.

“
But you believe me?” Aria asked, voice breaking.

“
Of course I believe you, baby,” Nash hurried to say, not wanting to be responsible for more tears this morning.

Aria’s shoulders slumped with relief and her breath rushed out as she nodded, making it clear how worried she’d been that he would turn on her. Nash crossed the kitchen in a heartbeat and pulled Aria against his chest with his free arm. In his other arm, Skeeter cooed around her bottle, seeming to approve of the family hug.

The sound was another knife slipped between Nash’s ribs.

“
I’m on your side,” Nash said, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Aria’s wild morning hair, chest tight. “Mom had no right to talk to you that way, and I’ll make it clear she’s not allowed to do anything like that again if she wants me to keep coming around, but…”

“
But what?” Aria asked in a soft voice, tensing slightly in his arms, almost as if she could sense where his thoughts were headed.

Nash waited until she looked up, and met her worried eyes with a concerned expression of his own. “I don’t know how to change this. Any of it. Your dad is always going to hate me, and it sounds like my mom isn’t too keen on you, either.” He sighed, hating what he had to say next, but knowing there was no avoiding it. “If we stay together, we’re going to have to deal with the reality that we may never have the same kind of easy family dynamic we used to have ever again.”

Aria blinked up at him, her breath coming faster, but she didn’t say a word.

“
I know how much you depend on your family,” Nash continued. “How much you love them and how much fun you have together. I wouldn’t want to feel like I was driving a wedge between you and the people who mean the most to you. Marriage should add to the number of people you can count on, not subtract from them.”

“
But I love you,” Aria said. “More than anything, except Felicity. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but…” She trailed off, biting her lip as her eyes began to fill. “But if you don’t feel the same way…”

“
Of course I feel the same way,” Nash said, his voice harsh with emotion as his arm tightened around Aria’s waist. “You’re all I can think about. If I could spend every moment of every day with you and Skeeter, I would. I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been the past two weeks. Never. Not even when I was a kid. But we need to decide—”

“
What’s to decide?” Aria asked, bringing a hand to his cheek, rubbing her thumb across the stubble he had yet to shave away. “Love like this doesn’t come along every day. We’d be stupid to let my dad or your mom or anyone else take this away from us. Or Felicity. She loves you as much as I do, and I can’t imagine a better stepfather exists on the planet.”

Felicity gurgled something unintelligible, but positive sounding around her bottle, almost as if she understood what they were talking about. Nash smiled, but the grin didn’t last long.

“
I don’t want to lose you, either of you,” he said, “But I think we both need some time to think.”

“
About what?” Aria asked, slipping out of his arms although he tried to hold on to her. “What part of ‘stupid to let them take this away from us’ needs further analysis?” Her eyes flashed, and for a minute all Nash could think about was how sexy she was when she was angry, and how much he wished he could spend the day naked with Aria in their bed, showing her just how much he needed her.

But that was part of the problem. It was getting harder and harder to think straight around Aria March. The harder he fell, the more it seemed like nothing outside of their relationship really mattered. But he’d been raised to be a family man. Loyalty to family, and sacrifices made by the few for the good of the many, were practically scripture to him. He had given up so much as a kid to help out with his brothers and sisters, and he wouldn’t go back and do things differently, even if he could.

He treasured the close, loving bonds he had with almost all of his siblings. His family was a source of chaos and upheaval, but it was also sacred, such a big part of his heart he didn’t know how much he’d have left if they were cut away. He loved them, all of them, and he couldn’t imagine never being a part of a Geary gathering again. Never seeing Felicity run and play with her cousins, never seeing his mom hold her new grandson or granddaughter for the first time.

But she wouldn’t. If Mom refused to accept Aria, then Nash wouldn’t be bringing their future babies over to see Grandma Geary. He didn’t work that way. He wasn’t going to let his family treat his wife like an undesirable.

Aria’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Nash? Did you hear me?”

“
I did, I…” He shook his head, but it didn’t do much to clear his mind. “It’s a big decision, Aria. I just think we should take some time apart to think about how this situation could affect our future. And Felicity’s future, and there might be other kids, who will be just as innocent and deserving of a big, loving family. It’s not just you and me.”

“
I know,” Aria said, reaching out to take Felicity’s empty bottle as the baby twisted in Nash’s arms, ready to get down for her morning crawl to the toy basket in the living room.

Nash put Felicity down, feeling more vulnerable for some reason without her snuggled against his chest. He crossed his arms and glanced over at Aria, who was leaning against the counter with the bottle drooping from one hand, looking so defeated it was all Nash could do to keep from going to her.

But he stood his ground. They both needed time to think, and delaying would only make things more painful.

“
I’ll go pack a suitcase,” Nash said. “I can stay with Raleigh while we both do some thinking.”

“
No, we’ll go back to my parents’ house,” Aria said, setting the bottle on the counter with a soft
thunk
. “It’s safe for us to stay with them now.”

“
Are you sure? Do you really think your ex is going to drop his suit?”

Aria nodded, but didn’t meet his eyes, keeping her gaze locked on the kitchen tile. “My dad hired a private investigator to follow Liam. The guy got pictures of Liam and his new wife and a few other people naked in the hot tub behind our old house. Apparently there was some partner-swapping, and cocaine passed around. The guy got pictures of all of it, as well as some dirt on Liam’s wife. She was arrested for running a brothel in the U.K. three years ago.”

“
Wow.” Nash took a deep breath. “That’s some heavy stuff.”

Aria nodded. “Yeah. I think even Liam will realize it’s enough to make sure he never gets custody of any kind. Dad’s taking the pictures and other stuff over to Betty’s office in a few hours. Hopefully we’ll have an answer from Liam’s lawyer by the end of today.”

“
But you don’t know anything for sure yet,” Nash said, glancing at the clock over the stove, knowing he needed to jump in the shower if he didn’t want to be late to work. “So let me go. I’ll stay with Raleigh this week, and you and Felicity can stay here. No sense moving her again until we know for sure what’s going on.”

“
Okay.” Aria finally looked up at him, the sadness in her expression enough to make his heart skip a beat.

Only the knowledge of how much misery could be in their future kept Nash from scooping her up in his arms and doing his best to kiss all that sadness away.

“
When will we see you?” she asked.

“
How about we meet up after I get off work on Friday? I’ll come here, and we can talk.”

Aria nodded. “We have an event Friday afternoon, but I’m free Friday night. I’ll leave Felicity with my mom for an overnight so we can have some privacy.”

“
Sounds good,” Nash said, though it didn’t really. A day ago, a night alone with Aria would have been enough to keep a spring in his step all week, but now…

Friday could be the night they ended it all, the night they decided that the love they’d found couldn’t make up for everything they stood to lose.

“
All right,” Nash said, voice thick with emotion. “I’ll see you then.”

He hurried from the room, suddenly feeling like a prisoner in his own house, needing to get out and get some space from all the conflicting feelings swirling inside of him. Ten minutes later, he had filled a small suitcase with clothes and toiletries, and was heading for the front door.

“
Didn’t you forget something?” Aria was on the floor in the living room, playing blocks with Felicity, but could obviously see that Nash wasn’t dressed for work.

“
I’ll shower at the station. There’s a shower off the weight room,” Nash said, already reaching for the door. “Figured I might as well get going.”

“
Okay,” Aria said softly. “Goodbye.”

“
Goodbye,” Nash echoed as he stepped out into the August heat, hating how final the word sounded as it hung in the air.

Chapter Sixteen

Aria spent most of Monday—her one day off—trying to keep from bursting into tears in front of Felicity. She succeeded, until bedtime, when Felicity crawled out into the living room after her bath, obviously looking for Nash, and became upset when she couldn’t find him.

Nash had become a part of their bedtime ritual, and Felicity wasn’t the type who liked her rituals disrupted.

Aria wasn’t either.

By the time Felicity sat down in the middle of the living room and burst into tears, Aria was already sniffling. She tried to comfort the baby as best she could, but even after three books and a long rock in the rocking chair by her crib, Felicity still wasn’t completely calm. She fussed when Aria laid her in her crib and threw her bunny to the end of the mattress instead of settling down to chew an ear as she usually would, clearly displeased with the way things were going.

“
Join the club, sweetie,” Aria whispered as she turned out the light and headed down the hall to the big, lonely bed in Nash’s room.

It might truly be Nash’s room again soon, if he decided Aria and Felicity weren’t worth the sacrifices he would have to make to keep them both in his life.

That’s not what he’s worried about, and you know it.

Aria sighed as she went to brush her teeth, so exhausted from crying she figured she might as well go to bed early.

The inner voice was right. She knew why Nash was concerned. They were both very close with their families. The thought of being estranged from her dad for more than a few days—which Aria highly doubted would happen; Daddy always came around to realizing he’d been a jerk and was quick to apologize when he did—was enough to fill her with panic. Each member of her family was like a part of her, a limb she could probably live without, but wouldn’t want to. The loss of any one of the Marchs—Mom, Dad, Lark, or Melody—would haunt her for the rest of her life.

And Nash was just as close, if not closer, with his clan. And what about Felicity and the other kids she and Nash had dreamed about? What if their relationships with their extended family suffered because certain parties weren’t thrilled by Nash and Aria’s marriage?

Aria had so many wonderful memories of summer parties and winter holidays and long Saturday play sessions with her cousins, Emily and Elsbeth, her Aunt Tina’s daughters. They had been like sisters to the March girls while they were all growing up. Aria had been devastated when Emily and Elsbeth’s father took a job at a software company in Arkansas when they were all in middle school. Seeing them two or three times a year just wasn’t enough. They were family, a part of her, members of her tribe who she would do anything for.

What if Felicity never knew what that was like? All because Aria had picked the wrong man twice?

“
No,” Aria mumbled around a mouth full of toothpaste before spitting emphatically into the sink.

This was ridiculous. Nash could never be the wrong man. He was everything she had ever wanted, and more wonderful with Felicity than Aria had imagined a man could be with a child who wasn’t his by blood. Nash was the real deal, one in a million. She didn’t need a week to know that she wanted to be with him, no matter what hardships stood in their way.

“
And you are not going to lose him,” Aria said to her reflection, bolstered by the steadiness in her voice. “You are going to quit crying like a big baby, get a good night’s sleep, and get up tomorrow morning prepared to make this work.”

Pep talk completed, Aria changed into her pajamas and headed for bed, where she slept and dreamed of a little boy with Nash’s hair, and her eyes. The dream was so real that Aria woke up even more determined.

Maybe it was crazy, but it felt as if there were more souls on the line than just hers and Felicity’s. There was that little boy, too, and any other children who might be waiting to join her and Nash’s family.

Because they
were
a family. Newly formed, yes, but still as important as their families of origin. She and Nash and Felicity and their other precious children they had yet to meet were important, and worth fighting for, and Aria was ready to do battle.

***

Before the corporate meeting she and her sisters were catering Tuesday evening, Aria stopped by her father’s office in the back of the new
Bob and Sue’s Smokehouse
location.

Betty, Aria’s lawyer, had called that morning with the news that Liam had dropped his suit and agreed to sign papers granting Aria full, unequivocal legal and physical custody of Felicity, provided he be allowed supervised visitation when or if he chose to be part of his daughter’s life. Thanks to the PI Aria’s dad had hired, Liam had no choice but to capitulate.