Keeping Sweets (9 page)

Virginal guys sold big in the porn world, but not clueless ones. He would need to know the ins and outs of sex before the actual ins and outs started. Bran reached into one of the bags, pulling out a small blue package. Once they were seated in the car, he tossed the small blue plug over to Evan.

“What’s this for?”

“It’s for you. You need to use it before we get up to Newport. It’ll help you get used to feeling something inside you.”

The blush was back, staining the apples of his cheeks. He mumbled his thanks before depositing the box on the floor next to his feet.

Silence hung in the air for most of the drive back. Evan was deep in thought, probably still overwhelmed and processing everything he had taken in that afternoon. It was a lot to sort out, and Bran was a little glad he had had the chance to take Evan with him and coach him a little before they got up to Newport. Once they were there, there would be a bit of downtime, but the schedule would be pretty hectic, and he didn’t know how much time he would have to spend with the kid.

After a while, Bran’s thoughts were interrupted by Evan. “Have you started working on the scene list yet?” he asked quietly.

Bran felt a surge of disappointment wash over him. Was Evan having second thoughts after today? Maybe he had pushed too much on him too quickly.

“No, why? You want out?”

“No… I mean, I don’t know how everything works with the set up and shooting, or even exactly what your role is, but I was sort of hoping that maybe it would be okay with you if, well, if you were the one that did my first scene with me,” he spat out as if he was bracing himself for Bran to reject him.

Bran was distinctly thrilled that he had been so wrong about Evan’s feelings on the project. Bran knew he was getting in over his head, but there was no way he would be able to say no. Besides the fact that he undeniably wanted to be Evan’s first, that even the thought of it made him painfully hard, it would read well on screen.

Thinking about it for a moment, he realized he would never have paired Evan with one of the other guys for his first time. He wouldn’t trust them to be as gentle or understanding as they needed to be, and he didn’t want Evan getting hurt.

Too late, he realized he would likely be the one getting hurt, but after ten years of feeling the numbness of maintaining that separation from people, the hurt was almost a welcomed change. He was sure he would be singing a different tune a few weeks from now, but at this moment, it didn’t seem to matter.

“Of course, Ev.”

Evan leaned back against the seat, head tilted back, eyes closed. “Thanks,” he whispered.

I
T
WAS
Friday evening, and Evan was still muddling through the war of feelings mixing in his belly. He was bored out of his skull, having given up on finding anything on TV that would hold his interest for longer than seven minutes. He called it boredom, though if he was truly honest with himself, he would realize it was distraction. Nothing held his attention.

It had been three days since he had spent the afternoon with Bran, and while he scolded himself for being silly enough to think he would hear from the guy after that, he secretly had held out hope that Bran would call and want to get together with him before the weekend. Yet he knew Bran was busy getting ready for the shoot. Still, it stung a little.

That afternoon had been amazing. He hadn’t had that much fun in forever. Not since before Matt moved away. He realized it had been that long since he had had a real friend. He supposed it was a little early to be considering Bran his friend, but given how comfortable he felt with the man, despite the very uncomfortable nature of the errands they were running, he thought that if Bran would be willing, they could definitely build some sort of a relationship.

Evan didn’t want to define what kind of relationship. He didn’t want to be the naïve little boy mooning over his co-star, but it was only natural to feel that way about the person you were going to indulge in such intimate acts with, right? He was sure everyone felt that way a little bit. As long as his crush wasn’t obvious to everyone.

Evan wondered if the feelings would last past the month, or if the odd sense of connection would fade once he was there. Would he feel the same way about all the guys he would be working with? Somehow he doubted it, and if not, then that made Bran special, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

It may have been that he was delirious from hunger, but when Bran had come to his door, he’d felt a heavy longing to feel Bran’s broad hands roaming the planes of his body again. It had felt so good to be touched by someone else, and since that day, he had craved it more than he had craved food, which was saying a lot because if he never saw another package of instant noodles, it would be too soon.

Evan lifted himself off the bed and walked across his tiny room to sit at the window. It had been raining for days, the drizzle coating everything and making the air heavy and cool.

The sky was painted a translucent indigo as the moon began to rise above the low clouds. He was nervous about the shooting that was supposed to start on Sunday, although his scenes wouldn’t begin until Monday if Bran remembered his promise. The nervousness ebbed as he remembered how Bran had taken care of him at the interview and the easy way they had been together while shopping. Of course there had been some shocking moments, like the first time Evan had seen the prostate massager.

He had commented to Bran that it looked more like a magic wand than a sex toy, to which Bran had replied, “Oh, it’s definitely magic. You just wait.”

Evan wasn’t sure how to take that, but in the short time he had known Bran, he had become comfortable with the other man. The fact that Bran had confided in him with his real name spoke to a mutual sharing of trust. Evan knew Bran would never intentionally hurt him and would never push him into anything he wasn’t ready for.

After a lifetime of being on edge, of constantly being alert for signs of danger even in his own home, a lifetime of people trying to use and abuse him, it was a peculiar feeling to spend time with someone who didn’t seem to want more than his company. The fact that someone genuinely seemed to like him was not a feeling Evan was used to.

Evan walked back across the room, dropped to his knees, and bent down to see under the bed. All his belongings were packed, ready to go. He had already checked and double-checked the room to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything, but it wouldn’t hurt to look one last time.

Feeling confident that everything was ready for the trip out in the morning, Evan slumped into the bed, exhausted from the nervous anticipation that had flowed through him for the past week.

He couldn’t tamp down the excitement over tomorrow, but he had hit that point at which the body just can’t keep up any longer. The last ounce of energy Evan possessed was used to triple check that his alarm was set properly. Nothing could go wrong now.

A
ROUND
noon the next day, Evan took the bus over to Les’s place. When he arrived, there were three guys milling around the lawn, loading equipment into a van that took up most of the driveway. It was the first time Evan had set eyes on any of the other men he would be spending the next few weeks with. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be.

As he walked up the driveway, a car pulled up to the curb and a blond guy climbed out. He looked pretty young, but friendly.

“You one of the Newport boys?” he asked Evan with a relaxed drawl.

Evan nodded and held out his hand in greeting. “Yep, I’m E—” he started to introduce himself before remembering the name Bran and Les had given him during his casting. “Jackson. I’m Jackson. Nice to meet you.”

“Colt,” the other man said, grasping Evan’s hand in a firm shake. Evan assumed Colt was his pseudonym, but it suited the man. He was a bit taller than Evan, with an open friendly face. “Likewise.”

Les appeared from the opened front door and walked down the steps toward Evan and Colt. “I see you two have met. We’re almost done with gathering up the equipment. There’s been a change of plans, and as soon as Noah gets here I’ll fill you all in on the details.”

Quick introductions were made between Evan, Colt, and the two cameramen: Jake and Ian. Younger than Les, but older than the other guys, the cameramen seemed open and friendly.

A few minutes later, a small Toyota pickup pulled into the driveway. Bran emerged from the driver’s side looking confident and relaxed in a pair of dark-gray shorts and a blue T-shirt. His eyes were shielded behind a pair of aviator sunglasses, but his smile was broad and welcoming.

“Hey, kid,” Bran said, pulling his sunglasses off and giving Evan a little wink meant only for him. It did nothing to slow Evan’s racing heart or quell the rise of heat that flooded his face.

“Noah, you’re here just in time,” Les bellowed. “Jackson and Colt just got here and now that everyone’s arrived you can get this show on the road. The others should be waiting for you at the house when you get there. You’re going to be on your own for this project though, sugar. Wish I could be there, but I just got a call a few minutes ago. My daughter’s in labor and I’m headed out to Colorado to be with her. I’ll have my cell with me, so keep me updated on all the goings-on.”

Despite his words of regret for not being able to go to Newport, Les was positively beaming. He was clearly about to be the proudest grandpa on earth.

Bran’s air of self-assuredness seemed to slip momentarily. It only took a moment for him to have it firmly back in place though, and he was pulling Les into a hug.

“Congratulations, old man!”

Les chuckled heartily. “Thanks. I’m pretty excited. I should get going, though. I wanted to wait until everyone was here, but I should get a move on if I want to be there in time for the first cry.”

“You bet. Don’t worry about a thing; we’ll be fine. Make sure you send along some photos once you’ve got ’em.”

“Will do!” And with that Les fled back into the house to get ready to go.

Bran turned to Colt. “You got your own ride out?”

“Yeah, got it covered. I’ll be headin’ out to Cali after the shoot, so I thought it best to bring my own transportation.”

“Great. Jackson, you get a choice then, you can ride with Colt, the crew, or me.”

Evan tried not to blush. Of course he wanted to go with Bran. “Uh, I’ll come with you if that’s okay.”

“You got it. Let’s get a move on. It’s a bit of a drive and I wanna get there before sundown, so we should hit the road.”

Evan climbed into the truck. Bran slid in behind the wheel, settling his big body next to him. Evan could smell his cologne, could feel the heat emanating from his body, seeping through the thin material of the T-shirt Bran had picked out for him a few days earlier. It felt close and intimate. He imagined being able to feel Bran’s pulse, thrumming against his skin, connecting him, grounding him, keeping him safe and protected.

He knew he was being ridiculous. It was obvious Bran liked him, but at most as a little brother. The way he called him kid confirmed that was all there was to it. Bran steered the truck away from the curb, and Evan could hear the heavy thump of Jake and Ian’s music in the van in front of them. The cameramen seemed excited to be on the road, traveling out of town for almost a full month of fun at the beach. Evan felt the bubbles of excitement stir in his belly too. This was his first trip. His first time at the beach. He thought he might be looking forward to seeing the ocean more than anything else.

They travelled west, following closely behind the crew in the van.

“So I know you just moved to Portland. Where were you living before that?” Bran asked.

“Uh, I grew up in Fairfax, pretty close to the Idaho border. Small town, one high school.”

“Sad to leave?”

Evan snorted derisively. “Not even a little bit.”

“Not a fan of Fairfax?”

“The town itself wasn’t so bad, I guess. Good a place as any to grow up. Everyone knew everyone else, which is good on the one hand, but makes it difficult in other ways.”

“Because you were gay, you mean?”

“No. No one knew. I wasn’t even totally sure until that afternoon with you. I kept pretty much to myself, but in a town as small as that, the rumor mill is the only industry that thrives despite the recession. Couldn’t take a shit in my own bathroom without some nosy Nancy six blocks away knowing about it. I did my best to go unnoticed, but even as unnoticeable as I am, it wasn’t always possible to fly under the radar.”

“I’d say you’d be tough not to notice,” Bran remarked with one eyebrow quirked.

“Ha,” Evan scoffed. “I am the embodiment of mediocrity. Average height, or just below it anyway, average looks, average intelligence, average, average, average.”

“How can you possibly believe that? I’ve only known you for a few days and it’s already evident to me that you are one of the smartest people I know.”

Evan chuckled playfully. “I don’t know what kind of statement that makes about the company you keep.”