Keeping Katie (A Mother's Heart #1) (19 page)

As for the emptiness
she
felt every time she looked at his vacant chair, Maureen figured it was nothing more than she deserved. She had gone to him with her eyes open. She’d known from the beginning that her attraction to him was dangerous. Yet she’d ignored her own common sense. If it hurt a little now, she’d just have to deal with it.

Monday and Tuesday came and went with no sign of him at the diner. She knew it was better this way. Better that they not see each other, especially after the way they’d parted. If she closed her eyes, she remembered the anger in his eyes as he pinned her to the mattress. Better that they both have time to get over that night. Better that
she
have time to forget the way he made her feel, the way she wanted him.

Still, every time the door opened, she faltered, longing and fear tying knots in her stomach. And when it was someone else, she’d return to work knowing in her heart that she was lying to herself. She doubted any amount of time would heal the pain she felt with his absence.

And, of course, the whole town had an opinion about their relationship. It seemed everyone had seen them dancing or heard about it or knew he’d spent the day with her and Katie. This didn’t surprise her. Wyattville was a small town and there was no such thing as privacy. The thing that did amaze her was that everyone seemed to approve.

“You and Alan sure looked good together out on that dance floor Saturday night,” Lynn said first thing Monday morning.

“He’s a good dancer,” she answered, hoping Lynn wouldn’t start in on her.

“I wasn’t talking about your dancing.”

“We’re just friends.”

Lynn let out a short laugh. “Yeah, I know how
friendly
Alan Parks can be.”

Maureen turned toward the other woman, unsure what kind of expression she would find on Lynn’s face. There was nothing but amusement. Then Lynn caught Maureen’s look and immediately laughed. “I was just kidding. Alan and I are old friends. We dated ages ago. In high school. Really. He’s all yours.”

Maureen opened her mouth to protest, then shut it abruptly. The worst thing she could do was start denying things. So she let it go, and so did Lynn. For the moment.

But that conversation was only the first of many.

“Hey, Maureen,” called Percy later that same morning. “Hear ya got your hooks into the sheriff.” The old man cackled as if he’d just told the best joke of the year, and several other regulars joined in.

“Shut up and eat your breakfast,” Lynn stated, plopping a bowl of oatmeal and a plate of toast in front of him. “And stop bothering my help.”

For once, Maureen was thankful for Lynn’s interference. At this point, she would accept all the help she could get. With her nerves stretched taut, she didn’t know if she was going to explode in anger or burst into tears. It seemed she would just conquer the urge to give in to one emotion, when the other would set in.

And Tuesday was no better.

One of the women who’d been sitting with Rita Saturday evening came into the diner and hugged Maureen as if she were a long-lost child. Maureen didn’t even know the woman’s name. That didn’t seem to faze the older woman.

“I’m so glad the sheriff’s gone and found himself a nice girl,” she said. “He’s been alone too long. It’s not healthy, you know.”

By this time, Maureen knew better than to answer. Her own emotions were too volatile. Besides, no one listened to her anyway. They’d all made up their own minds about what was going on. She hoped all the furor would soon die down. Especially when no one saw her and Alan together again.

Wednesday came, and it was the worst day yet. She wished she’d never gotten out of bed, because seeing Alan was even harder than not seeing him.

She had finally resigned herself to his avoiding her. Now, when she closed her eyes, she no longer remembered his anger when she’d lied to him Saturday night. Instead, she pictured him stretched out nonchalantly on the bed, his hands behind his head, his eyes shut. He’d fallen asleep while she’d dressed, for God’s sake. And he hadn’t even bothered to walk her home.

So much for his little speech about there being something special between them. Her first impression of him had been right. He was a cocky, egotistical cowboy, and she was better off without him.

It was time for her to leave Wyattville. Past time. Things were closing in around her fast. The threat of Alan finding out who she was and what she’d done hung over her like a guillotine.

Yet she knew she couldn’t leave. Not yet.

The money she made at the diner barely paid their rent and living expenses. No matter how careful she was about spending, there was never very much left to put away. It would be months before she had enough saved to move to Seattle.

Then Alan waltzed into the diner, smiling and greeting everyone the way he usually did. “ ‘Morning, ladies.” He claimed his favorite stool and tossed his hat on the counter. “Great day out.”

For Maureen, the room slipped out of focus, but he obviously didn’t notice. “Abe, how’s the leg?” he asked. The conversation between him and Abe was an old one and quickly put aside.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He stopped Lynn with his usual lady-killer smile. “How about a couple of eggs, over easy, ham and lots of coffee.”

His gaze lighted on Maureen, and she wished the floor would open and swallow her. For a moment, she thought she saw a flare of warmth in his eyes, but just as quickly, she realized her mistake. He gave her the same vacuous smile he’d bestowed on Lynn, and his eyes held nothing but amusement.

“How’s Katie doing?” he asked as Lynn poured his coffee. “Did she enjoy the festival? And her new dress?”

Nodding, Maureen barely got the single word past the sudden obstruction in her throat. “Yes.”

“And you?” Was there more to his question, more in his eyes than common courtesy?

“Yes, we both enjoyed it,” she answered.

“Good.” He smiled again, but his smile was empty. He may as well have been talking to Abe or Percy. She opened her mouth to say something more, although she had no idea what, but he’d already shifted his attention elsewhere.

“By the way, Percy,” he said to the diner’s most frequent customer, “I was at Widow Cellar’s place yesterday. She wants you to come out and fix her fence.”

Lynn delivered his breakfast, and he acknowledged it with lady-killer smile number two. “Thanks, Lynn. How about some more coffee?”

He didn’t glance Maureen’s way again, so, turning aside, she tried to go back to work. But his presence pulled at her, and she could hardly keep her mind on the other customers. Instead, she was acutely aware of Alan’s every word and gesture.

Yet nothing he said or did was different from any other time he’d come into the diner. He treated her the same as he did everybody else. She stole glances at him, looking for signs, searching his face, his eyes, waiting, hoping to see some memory of the night they’d spent together.

But there was nothing.

He smiled. He talked. He teased. And then he left.

She hardly remembered the rest of the morning. She got through it somehow. And when the worst of the lunch rush was over, Lynn cornered her in the kitchen and told her in no uncertain terms to go home. Evidently, she wasn’t handling things as well as she’d thought.

Alan leaned casually against his cruiser and watched Maureen leave the diner. Glancing at his watch, he smiled. It was only a little past one—an hour earlier than usual. So he’d succeeded in rattling her enough that she’d taken off early. Pleased with himself, he resettled his hat lower on his head and pushed away from the vehicle.

Things were proceeding as planned.

Without another glance at her retreating figure, he headed down the street toward the square. He knew her routine. She’d go back to Rita’s and change. Then she’d pick up Katie and bring her down to the park—where he’d be waiting.

He’d planned to stay away from her for a week, but the last three days had been pure hell. Each morning, he set a routine for himself that kept him out of town and away from the diner. He’d checked in with every rancher and farmer within fifty miles, talking to people he hadn’t seen in a year.

On Sunday, his resolve had remained strong. The memory of the previous night’s passion lingered like a smoldering ember, while Maureen’s stubbornness twisted in his gut. He’d had no trouble calling Rita and telling her he’d have to skip dinner.

On Monday, his memories had shifted. He remembered sensations, things that warmed his blood, like the feel of satiny skin beneath his fingers and the taste of honey-sweet lips. He checked his watch hourly, each time making mental calculations on how long it would take to get back to town—just in case he wanted to stop by the diner for a quick lunch. Somehow, he’d managed to stay away.

On Tuesday, he’d known he couldn’t stay away much longer. He kept himself out of town during the day by deciding to stop by Rita’s that evening. She was always eager to feed him, and both she and Katie would act as a buffer. That’s when he’d gotten the idea of running into Maureen and Katie at the playground the next day, and he’d been able to keep himself away for another night.

Then he’d walked into the diner this morning and almost lost his resolve. She’d looked so fragile, with her pale skin and soft blue eyes. He’d wanted nothing more than to go to her and pull her into his arms. But he’d kept his distance, somehow managing to follow through with his charade.

Arriving at the park, he skirted the playground and headed down the path leading in the other direction. No need for Maureen to see him waiting. After they arrived, he’d wander over as if he were just passing by. He knew that wouldn’t fool her, but that was okay. It was the element of surprise he was after.

Thirty minutes later, it was Katie who spotted him as he approached the playground. She was on the swings, while Maureen sat on a nearby bench with her back to him.

“Uncle Alan!” She was off the swing and in his arms before Maureen had a chance to stand up and turn around.

“How’s my princess?” To his surprise, he realized that he’d missed her almost as much as he’d missed her mother.

“Where were you?” Katie asked.

Laughing, he walked over to Maureen and sat down on the bench she’d just deserted. “Sorry, sweetheart. I had to work Sunday.”

“But you promised.”

Smiling, he tapped the little girl lightly on the nose with his finger. “So I did. I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you next Sunday.”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” Maureen’s words brought his head up abruptly, and his gaze locked with hers. In her eyes, he saw a reflection of his own sleepless nights. If he’d had any doubts about her sharing the hell he’d lived through these last three days, they dissolved in that moment. Her eyes held pain and longing similar to the pain he’d seen in them on the day they’d driven to Seattle. Only this time, he knew he’d caused it.

Again, he resisted the urge to wrap her in his arms and tell her everything would be all right. He knew she wouldn’t allow it, nor would she believe it. Instead, he settled Katie on his lap while wondering what to say to her mother.

“You look tired.” He motioned toward the bench where he and Katie sat. “Come on. Sit down.”

She stiffened at his invitation, and he had to smile. She was as skittish as a new colt. He wondered what she thought he’d do in the middle of the park, in broad daylight, with Katie sitting between them.

“Don’t worry.” He tried without success to keep the teasing out of his voice. “Katie’s here to chaperon.”

Irritation sparked in those great blue eyes of hers, and he knew his words had hit home. “I hardly think a chaperone is necessary.”

His smile broadened. “Don’t you?”

A hot flush of color rose to her cheeks. He thought how beautiful she was when aggravated. He liked the fire in her eyes almost as much as the way they danced with laughter or became bright with passion.

“No,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. “I think I can restrain myself.” As if to prove her point, she joined them on the bench. “If
you
can.”

Alan laughed aloud. She was so damn stubborn. It drove him crazy. At the same time, it was one of the things he liked best about her.

“Well,” he said, thinking he might just break through that stubborn streak of hers, “I’m just not sure about that, sweet thing.” He smiled as his eyes raked over the most intimate parts of her. “You see, you’re just about the hottest—I mean the best—thing to come into Wyattville in a long time.”

“Why, you—”

“Truth hurt?”

Her anger nearly scorched him, but he reveled in it. He wanted to throw her off guard, to see her respond, make her scream, curse him, anything. Maybe then he could get the truth out of her. She looked ready to slap him. Then, just as quickly, she reined in her anger.

Alan shook his head and shifted his attention back to the little girl on his lap. “So, did you miss me?”

“Uh-huh.” Katie nodded and gave him a hug that tied knots in his heart.

“How about your mom?” He threw a sideways glance at Maureen. “Did she miss me, too?”

Maureen met his gaze without flinching. “I meant what I said about not making promises to Katie.”